Epiphany while exhausted
The three hour time difference is some serious bullshit when you have a class at nine in the morning. Im so tired but i cant sleep due o the time difference. I havent slept in over 24 hours now. FUCK! I needed to get that out. I hate it here already and ive only been here for a few hours. I was already feeling shitty b/c i hadnt slept or eaten then this kid in my dorm, arizona, felt the need to taunt me about my hair. I already feel naked without the braids and he just made it worse. On top of this he gets asa's attention and asa comes in my room and makes himself at home. They proceed to talk and i care nothing about what they are talking so i kind of drifted off into my own world. Asa cut his hair and it looks quite good, i bet he thinks i look horrible without my braids. Imused to it but people here aret so i have to brace myself for other peoples reactions. Its sad that i actually care about this kind of shit. I shouldnt. I wont, screw that i only like a few people that i associate with anyway. So with all of that said i relaized that im afraid that no oneis going to ever compare to the old gang at hoe, old gang hehehehe. Ill never truly be myself around any other people and no one will ever love me as much as they do. Its a sad realization because i want to be comfortable around other people but i know that i will never be. I was never completely comfortable around my lackey friends either. Im going to try to stop being so uptight around other people, but its going to be a struggle.