when i was a young boy
fandom: got7
pairing: jb/jinyoung
rating: pg13
notes: remix of symmetrophobic's (能让我的痛)没人看到 for kpop_ficmix 2016
summary: Gryffindors and Slytherins Do Not get along, every one knows this. It's bit unfortunate for Jinyoung and Jaebum, childhood friends sorted into the two rival houses.
Jaebum might not handle it very well.
(Alternately: Jaebum makes overdramatic generalisations and probably writes angsty early teen poetry.)
Jaebum was four when he first met Jinyoung, when his parents sent him off to the nearest wizarding home daycare (with accredited carers capable of dealing with multiple magical explosions caused accidentally by toddlers throwing tantrums). Jaebum ended up in time out after toy cars dropped on the kid-who-stole-his-toys' head, and Jinyoung ended up in time out because he was the one who'd stolen Jaebum's toys.
It was the start of a firm friendship, one forged in fire Jaebum liked to say. Or fifteen minutes of crying in the corridor together, Jinyoung would say. He always was the pragmatic one of the pair.
Their parents knew each other in the vague way that wizarding folk knew other witches and wizards residing in the nearby vicinity; they would nod at each other should they pass each other in Diagon Alley, but they never really had a conversation.
Nevertheless, Jinyoung and Jaebum went from the same daycare to the same local wizarding primary school- Fair Fortune Preparatory-, albeit a year apart, and spent a large amount of the four years spent there together antagonising the gnomes at the far end of the school grounds at break times.
At ten years old, with their teacher constantly talking about the next year when they would start learning magic, Jaebum took some Floo powder without asking his parents and yelled out Jinyoung's address in a fit of concern, not even thinking about whether Jinyoung's fire would be burning.
Luckily, it was, despite it being nearing ten at night, and Jaebum stumbled out the fireplace and tripped over the poker, hissing at the heat of the flames and landing in a small puff of ash on the carpet in front of a wide-eyed blinking Jinyoung, curled up in an armchair with a book.
'Jinyoung?' a voice drifted in from another room. 'What was that?'
'Nothing, mom!' Jinyoung yelled, probably a bit too enthusiastically.
'Nothing? Really? Is that why you screamed?' The voice was coming nearer, and Jinyoung was out of his chair, grabbing Jaebum wrist and shoving him behind it, finger over his lips and hushing him.
'I wanted to poke the fire and fell,' Jinyoung said, and Jaebum assumed his mom had entered the room.
'How on earth did you manage that?'
Jaebum could imagine Jinyoung shrugging, and he heard his mother sigh.
'Alright. Are you okay?'
'Fine' Jinyoung assured her.
'Isn't it about time for you to go to bed?'
'I'm almost finished my book, mom, just a little bit longer?' Jinyoung pleaded.
'Well I suppose it is a Friday. Okay. Don't stay up too late, okay?'
Jaebum heard retreating footsteps and then Jinyoung appeared in front of him, brows creased.
'What are you doing?' he hissed, 'Why are you here? Do your parents know you're here?'
'Where are you going?' Jaebum blurted and Jinyoung looked at him in confusion.
'What?'
'Year after next,' Jaebum clarified, 'Where are you going after Fair Fortune?'
Jinyoung's brow cleared. 'Oh. Hogwarts, probably.'
'Probably?' Jabeum asked, voice urgent.
'My sisters are there, so unless I ask to go somewhere else, then yeah, Hogwarts. Why?' Jinyoung's brow furrowed again. 'Where are you going?' he asked cautiously.
'Hogwarts,' Jaebum said on a sigh of relief.
Jinyoung scowled and punched Jaebum's shoulder. 'Scaring me there. Was that it? Is that why you came here? Why couldn't it have waited until Monday? Or you could have sent an owl, it's not like there's a long flight between our houses.'
'My cousin's going to Durmstrang,' Jaebum admitted, 'And my parents were talking about it at dinner, and they asked me if I wanted to go there as well, and I said no, but then I couldn't sleep and got worried that you weren't going to Hogwarts and- I just needed to know.'
'Your parents don't know you're here, do they?' Jinyoung asked, and Jaebum shook his head sheepishly. 'You're an idiot.'
Jaebum gaped in indignation. 'No, I'm not!'
'We would have seen each other in like, three days, and you have an entire year until you finish at Fair Fortune.'
'Yeah, but then it's an entire year without you there and a whole pile of people a whole school of people I don't know-'
'The majority of your class is probably going to Hogwarts,' Jinyoung interrupted, dead pan.
'-and I'll be all alone and the only thing that will get me through is the thought of you joining me the year after,' Jaebum continued, blithely ignoring him, 'and I just needed to be sure it wouldn't be a empty hope. So I could sleep.'
Jinyoung stared at him, unimpressed. 'Right.'
Jaebum nodded looking at Jinyoung expectantly, and the silence drew out between them. 'I just gave a dramatic spe-' Jaebum started.
'I'm touched, really,' Jinyoung cut him off 'but you're still an idiot. Did you even think about how you're going to get home.'
Jaebum faltered. 'Well. You guys have Floo powder, don't you?'
'What if we've run out?' Jinyoung said impassively, 'What if my parents keep it locked away so their children can't take a handful and Floo themselves somewhere without their knowledge at ten o'clock at night?'
Jaebum frowned. 'Um. I didn't- think of that.'
'Clearly.' Jinyoung heaved a sigh. 'Our Floo powder's on the mantel. You should probably go home before your parents freak.'
Jaebum nodded, and peers over the couch to check that the coast was clear before heading to the fireplace, staring down at the not-quite-dying flames. 'This'll be fun,' he muttered, before grabbing a handfull of Floo powder and standing as near to the flames as he could bear. He turned to shoot a grin at Jinyoung, curled back on his chair. 'Hogwarts, right?' he said and Jinyoung sighed heavily.
'Yes, hyung,' he said, 'Hogwarts.'
And with that, Jaebum declared his address and leapt into the flames as they glowed green from the Floo powder, hearing Jinyoung exclaim about his volume in the second before he span through fireplaces.
The year passed quickly, and his parents said Jinyoung could come along when he went to get his wand, brimming with excitement, only letting go of it when his parents bought them icecream and even then only at Jinyoung's suggestion he not get it dirty.
'You'll write, right?' Jinyoung asked quietly, when they were back at Jaebum's house, his school stuff spread out all over his bedroom floor.
'Of course,' Jaebum said immediately, 'I'll write so much Warbeak will live up to her name and launch an organized attack on me.'
Jinyoung laughed and glanced up to where Jaebum's grey owl sat perched on one o the rafters. 'I still can't believe you named your owl after some horrible pun on some old singer's name.'
Jaebum put his hand over his heart in not-quite-mock offense. 'Celestina Warbeak is a wonderful name, how dare you.'
Jinyoung rolled his eyes trying to hide his smile. 'But you will write?'
'I was being serious,' Jaebum said in reply, 'I'll even send you Howlers so you won't forget the dulcet sound of my voice.' Jaebum framed his face with his hands and batted his eyelashes at Jinyoung, and got a fistful of cloak thrown in his face, and then the two of them were laughing hysterically.
'I'll miss you,' Jinyoung admitted quietly that night, candles extinguished and the two of them curled up in Jaebum's bed.
'I'll miss you the most,' Jaebum replied sleepily.
Dear Jinyoung
Hogwarts Express is just as red as you said it was, and I didn't cry when I said goodbye to my parents, so you owe me five knuts. I met this guy on the train who let me sit in his compartment, his name's Hyunwoo and he's a second year and a Hufflpuff and he was nice. I got a bit lost on the platform so he pointed me towards the lake and we road on boats and it was really cool, and this one guy in another boat was really loud, like REALLY loud and he spoke the entire trip- I think his best friend must have come with him- and everytime his boat tipped to the side he shrieked. And then the castle looked so amazing and so cool and I'm not going to tell you more because you've got to see it for yourself, I want you to have the full experience next year. Unless your sisters already told you what it was like. Anyway.
Hyunwoo waved at me in the Great Hall (a ghost floated through me, this guy with blood all over him, scary as hell- him, not him floating through me that was just like I'd been dunked in ice water like that time you stuffed snow down the back of my shirt) but I probably won't see him much (Hyunwoo not the ghost) because...
I got sorted into Gryffindor!!! So did the really loud guy, he claimed the bed next to mine, his name's Jackson and he's really friendly but so LOUD. You'd probably like him, you talk the same amount. Or you'd hate him. I don't know. You can't like him more than you like me though, okay? I don't know if I'll be that close with him he kind of gives me a headache. But anyway. The common room is really great, it's so warm, and everyone's really nice (except the Slytherins, we had a class with them and I ACCIDENTALLY stood on this guys robe and he glared at me so hard and told me he'd hex me if I didn't watch where I put my feet and that I'm just a dumb Gryffindor. Like how rude. He's dumb. It's been like a week he probably doesn't know any hexes anyway.). The Fat Lady's really bad at singing but she's pretty cool for a painting- I forgot the password the first day and had to wait for someone to come along though. It was a prefect. She was nice.
But the most important part! Well second most important, most important is me getting into GRYFFINDOR but a very close second is the food- it's so good. IT'S SO GOOD. I didn't realise how bad my mom is at cooking until now, I've got to learn how to cook from the house elves. I think I heard a sixth year say to his friend they were going to the kitchens, I've got to find out where they are...
Wish you were here. See you over Christmas.
Your best friend,
Jaebum
Dear Jaebum
The bet was tear up, so if you did that then I don't owe you anything. My sisters said the same thing as you about seeing the castle so I guess I'll get the full experience next year.
That must've been the Bloody Baron- noona says he's the Slytherin ghost and her least favourite- well, second least, she says the Grey Lady actually creeps her out more because she hardly ever speaks and just floats around, but she's the Ravenclaw ghost so she says he has to like her more than the Bloody Baron because she's in Ravenclaw. Also you spelled Hufflepuff wrong.
That's cool! Gryffindor sounds cool- some really cool wizards were in Gryffindor, my sister was telling me- her boyfriend's in Gryffindor, she likes to brag she's dating the next Minister of Magic. I met him over Christmas- I highly doubt it.
Make friends, you idiot, talk to the friendly guy. I'll send him a letter, I swear, do I have to do everything for you? I'll be there in a year, then you can ignore everyone else again. So don't like them too much. But make friends with your housemates, otherwise they're going to think you're weird. They wouldn't be wrong, but not in the Death Eater kind of way. Don't be a loner. You do have a habit of not looking where you're putting your feet- remember when you stood on your own robes and almost killed yourself falling down the stairs? It's a good thing my mom was there with a cushioning spell.
Find the kitchens and then show them to me. Or we can look for them together next year.
School was really boring, the gnomes haven't learned any new curse words. Mrs Lee's cat got into a fight with one of them again, though, so that was funny.
Miss you. See you Christmas where you can't impress me with all the spells you've learned because you're at home.
Your best friend,
Jinyoung
J-
History of Magic is really boring. You'd probably love it.
-J
You did not need to send me a letter about that. Think about poor Warbeak. We live so far away from Hogwarts. Was that gravy on the parchment? I hope it was gravy.
Jinyoung
I HATE YOU DID YOU HAVE TO SEND ME A HOWLER FOR MY BIRTHDAY THAT WAS SO UNNECESSARY YOUR VOICE IS HORRIBLE NEVER SING AGAIN
J- I loved it. Thank you. Your voice was great. It just arrived while I was sleeping and Warbeak dropped it on my face. It's a more reasonable time now. Howlers are a horrible way to wake up. Also thank you for the present, it's such a cool galaxy model. I promise I only opened it now and not the day after you left for Hogwarts and it hasn't been revolving on my book shelf for two weeks.
Miss you
Jinyoung
JIRONGIE
I know, I know, it's February already, and I told you I'd write as soon as I got back to school, it was just really busy and Jackson- I told you about him- screwed up while practicing Charms in our room and made the floor like three hundred degrees and my socks actually burnt a bit and we were all stuck on our beds and it was like nine o clock and of course we didn't have our owls and we didn't know how to fix it because we didn't know what he'd done obviously so we had to just yell and hope someone would hear us but the walls are quite thick and even Jackson's foghorn voice didn't get anyone and then Younghyun (I told you about him too) accio'd this old spell book he got given that he uses as a prop to keep his trunk open after this one time his cat got trapped in it- stupid, really, the cat's adorable and I don't want to know what's he's got in his trunk. She sleeps on my bed a lot. I've named her Nora. He was calling her Nobbity which is honestly an insult to such a beautiful cat. Luckily, Nora's caught on. Anyway. So he accio'd the book and found an amplifying charm so he cast Sonorus on Jackson because he's already the loudest and I almost fell off my bed when he yelled then, Nora jumped like a metre into the air and jumped off the bed and then jumped again when her feet touched the floor and then ran and jumped on Younghyun's bed because it was the closest and climbed his leg so then he was yelling too- it was very loud. Prefects came and started yelling at us until we explained the situation, so they got a teacher who gave us a lecture. All of us. As if it was all of our faults. So unfair.
Apparently news spread and Ravenclaw also heard Jackson yell and somehow the Slytherins heard about it, and they kept making snide comments about it and this one guy like walked past the Gryffindor table as Jackson was talking and was like 'Oh he doesn't know how to remove the amplification charm' and his friend was like 'well, they are dumb Gryffs,what do you expect' and?????? wow Slytherins suck, Jackson just like shut up and looked really bleak and like okay I'm not that close to him and he is loud that's still so rude and uncalled for? He's not harming anyone he's just enthusiastic and honestly I would not have been as hype as I was for the Quidditch games as I was if it weren't for him and you know how much I like Quidditch. It's Slytherin vs Gryffindor this weekend I'm going to cheer like never before because honestly, Merlin strike those damn snakes down.
Slytherins suck, man.
Miss you
Jaebum
Hyung!
Thought you'd forgotten about me (what a funny joke, as if that could happen).
That sounds... eventful. Of course you'd adopt a cat, I was honestly surprised when you said you were going to take Warbeak instead of begging your parents for a cat. Guess you got the best of both, huh?
You couldn't care less about Quidditch. You fell asleep when we went to go watch Puddlemere vs the Cannons. I bonded with your father that game.
Jinyoung
Okay, 1. I decided to take Warbeak with me so I can write to you, you ungrateful bastard. 2. My dad's allergic, why do you think I don't already have a cat.
Exactly, so when I say I was hype for the game- and I was really hype for the game, face painting and cheering and everything- you must know how impressive that is.
I have a eleven inch Transfiguration essay that I have to do.
Jaebum
PS Gryffindor won the match ha, take that Slytherin!
PPS Happy Valentine's Day for tomorrow. Which is when you will get this. So. Happy Valentine's Day. I was going to send you some cockroach clusters but then I remembered I'm not allowed to go to Hogsmeade yet.
1. There are school owls. 2. I know he's allergic that's why you'd have to beg.
Very impressive. This Jackson guy deserves a medal. I'm amazed. Did you wear a lion hat? Please tell me you had a mane. I would pay to see that.
Happy Valentine's Day. Enjoy the cockroach clusters.
Hope you crushed the essay.
Jinyoung
Valentine's Day at Hogwarts is scary this dwarf walked up to me dressed as cupid and started singing to me apparently someone sent me a Valentine? It was horrible. I would honestly take cockroach clusters over that. Thanks for those, by the way. I threw them at some Slytherins. They didn't know it was me it was great.
I'm still scarred from the Valentine. Trust me, you don't ever want a dwarf singing an offkey love song to you while you're waiting outside Charms.
Jaebum
PS no I did not have a mane
Jaebum
You left your Potions book at my house. Your holiday homework sucks. Anyway, thought you might need the book.
Jinyoung
Here I thought you were writing because you missed me. Thanks. I was going crazy looking for it, I actually dumped my entire trunk out. Younghyun was horrified. Nora was ecstatic. Have to admit I put off packing the trunk until she got out, she just looked so cute sleeping in there.
Miss you already
Jaebum
It's literally been like ten days Jaebum. At least give it two weeks.
You like that cat more than you like most people.
Not more than I like youuuuuuu
Gross
Your owl hates you. Making him fly all this way for one word.
Jaebum spent half the summer at Jinyoung's house, with Jinyoung's mother laughingly bemoaning the amount the two preteens ate. He went with Jinyoungg to Diagon Alley, watching him choose his wand, and only being slightly disappointed when they had neither the same core nor wood for their wands. He offered comments on all the books and subjects, and the teachers he'd have, and come September, they were on Platform 9 3/4 together, their parents chatting mildly behind them as Jinyoung's sisters oscillated between coddling him and looking for their own friends. Jaebum hadn't made the train trip to Hogwarts since the first time, having Floo'd through to the Three Broomsticks with his dad for the holiday trips, and he'd slept for most of the train trip back at the end of the previous year- his room had decided to have an impromptu and informal end of first year party after the feast the night before and none of them had slept.
It was very different to the first year. Jinyoung's sisters insisted they sit with them, and a few of their friends joined them, so their compartment was full and loud and the constant cooing had Jinyoung scowling and sinking lower into his seat. He loved attention, but hated being babied, and Jaebum couldn't stop laughing at him.
'What house do you think you'll be in?' Jaebum asked, as if he hadn't asked this more than once over the holidays.
'I don't know,' Jinyoung replied impatiently, 'Just like the other twelve times you've asked me.'
'Okay, well. What house do you want to be in?' Jaebum rephrased.
Jinyoung sighed at the eager look on Jaebum's face.
'Ravenclaw,' his sister shot over her shoulder and Jaebum bristled.
'Gryffindor,' he insisted, 'So he'll be with me.'
His declaration was met with a chorus of coo's and laughter about how cute they were and Jaebum sulked briefly in his seat.
'You do want to be in Gryffindor, right?' he asked Jinyoung quietly. 'With me?'
'Of course,' Jinyoung said, 'But we'll still be friends no matter what house I'm in, right?'
Jaebum nodded. 'Unless it's Slytherin,' he added, 'I don't think I could ever be friends with a Slytherin.' He grins at Jinyoung, who lets out a weak laugh.
Jinyoung got sorted into Slytherin.
Jaebum gaped up at the stage, aghast, as the Sorting Hat was removed from Jinyoung's head, and he shakily moved towards the cheering Slytherin table, only belatedly looking over to the Gryffindor table, eyes darting frantically until he met Jaebum's gaze. They held eye contact for all of three seconds before someone threw an arm around his shoulder and he disappeared from Jaebum's sight into a mass of green and silver.
'We're still friends, right?' Jinyoung asked worriedly two days later, having called Jaebum's name as they left the Great Hall after lunch.
Jaebum was acutely aware of the glances thrown their way from the passing students, of the whispers he was sure were wondering why a lion and a snake were talking amicably. 'Yeah' he said, 'Of course.'
Jinyoung breathed a sigh of relief. 'Thank Merlin. When I didn't hear from you-'
'It was two days,' Jaebum interrupted with a weak grin, 'At least give it two weeks.'
'I suppose it is busy at the beginning of the year,' Jinyoung allowed. 'I lost the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom yesterday.'
'Ah, yeah,' Jaebum laughed, 'that one does tend to move around.'
They saw each other as often as possible after that, and Jaebum would never admit to steering their meetings into places less frequented by other students- it was too loud, he told himself. He never introduced him to his other friends either- the time was never right, he told himself. They were both busy, had different schedules. Jackson got onto the Quidditch team, so he was busy with training. One day.
They both stayed at Hogwarts over the Easter holidays, finding a classroom to sit and do their homework in, Jinyoung asking Jaebum for help every now and then, and Jaebum could delude himself into thinking nothing had changed.
In some ways, nothing had. They were still close, Jaebum would still send him notes every so often about things that occurred to him, Jinyoung would still send back spelling corrections. He still asked Jinyoung what he should choose for third year- and regretted it when he suggested Arithmancy. It just wasn't as Jaebum thought it would be when Jinyoung came to Hogwarts. No one really knew they were friends- at least, not on Jaebum's side.
He didn't sit with Jinyoung on the train ride at the end of the year.
And then it was Jaebum's third year, and him and Jinyoung shared a compartment on the Hogwarts Express back to school, chatting just as before, things having slowly shifted back over the long summer holidays and it was only when they got changed and Jaebum saw a flash of silver and gold that the same sinking feeling he'd had the entirety of the previous year crept up on him. Jinyoung gave him a look and asked if he was okay, and Jaebum just forced a smile.
They were sitting in a secluded nook at the edge of the forest in February, scarves up to their noses and coats over their robes, warming charms cast and a little ball of fire floating between them for extra warmth, conversation having lulled.
'That girl who gave you a rose on Valentine's Day was cute,' Jinyoung said, apropos of nothing. 'You should ask her out.'
'You think she was cute?' Jaebum asked, and Jinyoung shrugged.
'Didn't you? Half the guys in the corridor were glaring at you.'
'She's a Ravenclaw,' Jaebum said instead of answering.
'So's the first year you adopted.'
'Tutored.'
'Right. You tutored a Ravenclaw. She's one of the best looking girls in your year, you know.'
'I think I like guys,' Jaebum blurted, and the silence stretched out between them.
'Oh,' Jinyoung said carefully.
'I mean. I don't really know. Girls are nice to look at, but I don't know if I want to do anything with them.'
Jinyoung's silent for a few moments, and Jaebum's about to start talking again when: 'So you want to do things with guys?'
Jaebum could feel his cheeks turning red as he sputtered. 'That's not what I- I mean- No- I don't think so, not yet-'
'Not yet?' Jinyoung said.
'I don't know!' Jaebum said loudly, to cover his embarrassment. 'I just- I just think I like guys. Maybe. Possibly.'
Jinyoung eyed him shrewdly. 'You know, if you didn't want to ask her out, you could just say that.'
'I'm not- that's not why I'm saying this.'
'You think you like guys.'
'Yeah.'
'How long?'
Jaebum shrugged. 'A year? Maybe. Like I said, I'm not sure.'
Jinyoung was silent again for a few moments, and when he spoke, his words were measured. 'I think... if you're thinking it, you probably are. At least in some sort of way.'
Jaebum was worried he'd ruined things after that, as the air between them changed, something in the way Jinyoung looked at him. Jinyoung never said anything.
He was good at not saying anything, Jaebum found out.
'And then that fucking Slytherin was like, oh whoops, my bad, let me clear that for you and removed the ink, but his spell removed all the ink on the parchment, didn't it,' Jaebum fumed, storming around the empty classroom he'd met Jinyoung in. 'Thirteen inches of essay removed. Completely gone. And you know he did it on purpose, that asshole knew exactly what he was doing.'
'Why, because he's a Slytherin?' Jinyoung asked tiredly, and Jaebum's hackles rose again.
'Exactly! Stupid fucking asshole of a snake, good for nothing conniving evil doers, the lot of them,' Jaebum spat, anger clouding his vision.
'Evil doers? Wow,' Jinyoung said mildly, 'I'm flattered.'
'What?' Jaebum said, brows furrowing in confusion.
'You know, it's really great how you constantly make generalised and disparaging remarks about my house all the time,' Jinyoung said coldly, meeting Jaebum's eyes.
Jaebum felt like he'd walked through a ghost, the green and silver seeming to jump out at him from Jinyoung's uniform. 'I-'
'I have to go' Jinyoung said, slipping off the desk he was sitting on and heading towards the door.
'Why?' Jaebum asked, and Jinyoung flashed him a saccharine smile that didn't reach his eyes.
'Evil plans with my housemates,' he said sweetly, 'Weekly ritual, can't be missed.'
With that, Jaebum was left alone in the classroom, lead in his stomach.
He pulled Jinyoung aside four days later, down some dead end corridor no one ventured down because of a noisy suit of armour.
'About the other day-'
'Where you called me and my whole house evil?' Jinyoung cut him off. 'Or are you talking about another day?'
'I didn't mean you,' Jaebum explained desperately, 'You're none of those things. You're-'
'Different?' Jinyoung supplied. 'Because you actually know me?'
Jaebum opened his mouth and closed.
'You can't have it both ways, Jaebum. You can't hate all Slytherins and still be friends with me.'
'But-'
'There isn't any but about it, Jaebum,' Jinyoung cut him off. 'You're obsessed. Ever since you came to Hogwarts, it's been oh, Slytherin this, Slytherin that, Slytherins are arrogant, Slytherins are rude, Slytherins are the scum of the earth. I thought when I got sorted into Slytherin and you said we were still friends, you'd realise that's not necessarily the case, and you'd stop. But no, it's been a year and a half of you putting down my house anyone time that one guy in your class who doesn't like you does something. And yeah, he's a dick. That doesn't mean all of Slytherin are horrible. There are assholes in Gryffindor as well.'
'Oh yeah?' Jaebum challenged, urge to defend himself and his house rising, words falling out of his mouth impulsively. 'Like who?'
Jinyoung's eyes flashed dangerously. 'You, for one,' he spat.
Jaebum bristled. 'I am not-'
'I beg to differ. Your prejudice against Slytherin is completely ridiculous, and I've tried to ignore it, hoping it'd go away but it's just gotten worse. I can't keep ignoring it, it's starting to fuck with me.'
It was the first time Jaebum heard Jinyoung swear, but something in the way the word fell off his tongue made him think it wasn't the first time he had.
'How would it-' Jaebum started, and Jinyoung cut him off with derisive laughter.
'How? You insult my house, and by extension, me, at every turn. You won't even be seen in public with me.'
'That's not true,' Jaebum sputtered, and Jinyoung raised an eyebrow.
'I'm not dumb. I can count on one hand the times we've hung out where people can openly see us, or that you've greeted me in passing with your housemates around. The second one's easy, because it's exactly never. Am I your dirty little secret, Jaebum?' Jinyoung's voice was cold and cutting, and Jaebum felt the shame curl in his stomach.
'I never wanted you to feel like that.'
'There you go again, not thinking things through,' Jinyoung snapped, and Jaebum feels the anger calcify in him.
'Maybe I'm the one who is thinking things through,' he said, 'What would my housemates think if they saw me talking to a Slytherin? What would your housemates think?'
'Who cares?' Jinyoung shot back.
'I care!'
Jinyoung's silent for a few moments. 'Well, there it is,' he said, voice calm and collected. 'You care. You care that I'm a Slytherin.'
'I didn't say th-'
'I can read between the lines, Jaebum.'
'Jinyoung-'
'Jaebum-hyung!' A bright voice made Jaebum whip around.
'Youngjae!' he exclaimed, instinctively stepping in front of Jinyoung to greet the Ravenclaw. 'What are you doing this side of the castle?'
Youngjae blinked at him. 'The Ravenclaw Tower is in this corridor.'
'Oh, right,' Jaebum laughed weakly, 'Yeah, I knew that.'
'Are you hiding me?' Jinyoung's voice floated from behind him. 'Really, Jaebum? You're that cowardly? And here I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave.' Jaebum closed his eyes as Youngjae peered around him curiously. 'Wonpil was right,' he muttered, 'It's useless trying to be friends with a Gryffindor. Stubborn, headstrong, blockheaded brutes, all of you.' He sighed and Jaebum heard his robes rustle as he straightened up. When he spoke again, his voice was clear.
'Fuck this,' he said, 'I'm going to make things easier for you. You don't have to worry anymore, you no longer have a Slytherin friend.'
Jaebum was frozen as Jinyoung brushed past him, striding down the corridor.
'Ah, hyung,' Youngjae started after Jinyoung's footsteps had faded, 'Sounds like you-'
'Don't,' Jaebum said, 'Not now. Not ever.'
'Okay,' Youngjae said, 'So I'm just going to go.'
Jaebum nodded as Youngjae walked away, shooting glances back at Jaebum over his shoulder, and then Jaebum was alone.
'Well, my dear,' a quavery voice said behind him, and he glanced over to see a portrait of a old witch, hair white as snow and glasses perched on her nose. 'To put it delicately, you fucked that up.'
'Thanks,' Jaebum said dryly, 'Really needed that.'
'Anytime, dear.' She gave him a warm smile and Jaebum marched off, vowing to never return to that part of the castle again.
Jinyoung was very good at pretending Jaebum didn't exist, he found as Jinyoung brushed past him with nary a glance, his smile not even slipping as he chatted to his fellow Slytherins, and Jaebum's ire grew, fuelled by his guilt, until he shed everything green from his room over Easter, throwing it in a pile outside his door, and screaming into his pillow.
Slytherins were all the same, he decided with a grim finality as he stared blankly up at his ceiling. Backstabbing, fairweather people who couldn't give enough of a crap about a friendship to try and make it work.
The next few years went smoothly enough if you didn't count Jinyoung getting onto the Quidditch team and outflying every one else on the field (Jaebum didn't, he didn't even notice him, he told himself, and he definitely did not go to more Quidditch matches than before), or when he passed Jinyoung in the corridor at the beginning of his fifth year and saw Jinyoung start a little at the sight of the prefects badge on his chest, and his eyes flickered up to Jaebum's and it almost looked like he was about to say something before Jaebum brushed passed him forcefully (completely normally, Jaebum told himself, he didn't even realise it was Jinyoung, it didn't count), or that time at the beginning of Jaebum's sixth year where Jinyoung came back from the summer having had a growth spurt, sunkissed skin and robes fitting nicely and Jaebum's mouth went dry as he stared across the Great Hall to where Jinyoung was laughing with his friends, unable to look away until Jackson jostled the table reaching to greet someone and knocked the gravy boat over (that definitely didn't count, Jaebum was sure of it, he was just amazed at how obnoxiously green the Slytherin flag looked that year), or that time his cousin snuck in some Firewhiskey over Christmas and they got riproaringly drunk and Jaebum ended up crying at a green patch on his cousin's sleeve, blubbering incomprehensibly, scribbling a mostly unintelligible (he hoped) letter and getting pecked by Warbeak as he tried to attach it to her before hanging out the window and waving after her tearfully as she flew off (there was no reply or acknowledgement on Jinyoung's part, so Jaebum was pretty sure that never happened).
As far as Jaebum was concerned, Jinyoung didn't exist, and the entirety of the Slytherin house were scumbags not worthy of the slightest iota of his respect.
So when Jackson started sneaking glances at a certain red-headed Slytherin, Jaebum was quick to get vocal about his disapproval about the Slytherin house in general. It was for his own protection really, Jaebum was just being a good friend.
It wasn't like Jackson was subtle, either, as much as he liked to think he was, sighing thoughts at stupid hours of the night when Jaebum was trying to sleep, something about good and evil and Jaebum groaned; the thought far too familiar for him to be comfortable with.
Of course, none of Jaebum's efforts paid off, as Jackson stared pitifully after the red head Slytherin every time he passed him, and it was only when Jaebum cornered him one evening to tell him how useless it was, how he should never ever trust a Slytherin, never get involved with a Slytherin-
'-because they're not to be trusted, okay? Slytherins will drop you like a hot potato as soon as the next best thing comes along, and you'll be left wondering what in Merlin's name you did wrong,' Jaebum told him sternly (Jaebum knew what he did wrong, it ate at him whenever he let himself think about it, but he couldn't- wouldn't- stop; he was nothing if not stubborn, and he was very good at convincing himself that blame was at the very least shared, if not Jinyoung's fault entirely for getting sorted into Slytherin in the first place- but he wouldn't think about that).
'Hyung, I don't think that's t-'
'No, it is,' Jaebum insisted (it had to be), 'They'll act like it's not, because they're manipulative and conniving, but it's not worth it, you might as well give up now-'
'We're dating.'
Jaebum deflated as the air rushed out of his lungs. 'What?' he gasped, hoping he'd heard wrong.
'It's been two months,' Jackson told him, face serious, 'And Mark's not any of those things. I'm telling you, he's not.'
'Two months,' Jaebum said faintly, stepping back blindly until he hit his bed and sat down abruptly.
'Hyung, are you okay?' Jackson asked, concerned, and Jaebum looked up at him.
'Am I-? No, I am not! Jackson, you're dating a-' Jaebum cut himself off as he realised he was yelling, his next words being hissed as if they were swear words at a family gathering. 'You're dating a Slytherin.'
'Yeah' Jackson agreed readily, 'I am. Don't worry, hyung, we're very discreet.'
Jaebum didn't know how to classify the sound that tore from his throat but he's pretty sure it was desperate and he wanted to yell, wanted to tell Jackson that that wouldn't work, it would still end the same, Gryffindors and Slytherins can't be together; it doesn't work. But he couldn't, nothing would pass his lips, a lump in his throat he couldn't force words around.
So when, two or three months later, when Jackson got a letter from what he recognised as Mark's owl, and went serious, barely cracking a smile while insisting he was fine, Jaebum felt vindicated. He felt horrible for Jackson, but he had warned him.
Jackson showed him the letter later that night, drapes drawn around his bed, and Jaebum's eyes flickered over the terse note. He patted Jackson on the shoulder as his friend wrung his hands.
'I mean, it's fine,' Jackson said, as if trying to convince himself (Jaebum would recognise that tactic anywhere). 'He didn't say we're broken up, so it's just... a little break, right? One cancelled date is nothing, really, in the grand scheme of things.' Jaebum nodded in false placation, face grim.
Jackson picked up Nora from where she'd been sleeping at the foot of Jaebum's bed when he got back, and while Jaebum would normally complain about the loss of his personal foot warmer (Yugyeom had said that Hufflepuff had feet warmers at the bottom of their beds, and Jaebum had never been more jealous. Yugyeom had been very confused when they told him that wasn't the case in any of the other houses), but as he watched Jackson traipse to his bed, arms wrapped around a yawning Nora as if she were a teddy bear, he decided magnanimously that Jackson needed the extra comfort tonight.
Jaebum sighed. He knew it would come to this. Sure, the letter might have said nothing about taking a break or anything, but Jaebum thought that was even more cruel, because now Jackson would just be left with that tiny bit of hope, and Mark would just never contact him again, and that was probably the plan all along, to break Jackson's heart in the slowest way possible. And now Jackson was going to pine away and develop trust issues and would never form a meaningful relationship, and he'd end up dating people who didn't care about him, who took advantage of his kind nature and broken soul, because Jackson will believe that's all he deserves, and after being tossed aside again and again, he'd sink into depression and steal a child to have someone he can love, someone who loves him, and he'll be caught and arrested because he's so blinded by heartbreak and he's never been subtle, and he'll waste away in Azkaban for attacking the Auror who came to get the child, half crazed by loneliness, and he'll die early, and it will all be because of Park Jin- Mark Tuan being a devious, evil, conniving snake.
That was part of why he refused Jackson's request to borrow his owl a few weeks later. That, and he was not encouraging a relationship with a Slytherin.
And then-
'You knew one too, didn't you?'
'You really- wait, what?' Jaebum looked up at Jackson in confusion, thrown from his train of thought of vehement refusal. 'One what?'
'That Slytherin sixth-year? Black hair, likes to talk quite a bit, the 'best seeker Slytherins seen in decades'?' Jackson said, not qquite as confidently as normal and Jaebum's blood ran cold. How did he- He's lost, back in his second year where him and Jinyoung were still fine, still talking and something that feels a lot like regret swells in his chest. 'What was his name? Park Jinyou-'
'Drop it,' Jaebum said sharply, Jackson saying his name making it all the more real, despite him describing Jinyoung in a way that left Jaebum no doubt who he was talking about. The feeling in his chest grew more suffocating. 'And I don't know what you're talking about,' he added. Deny, deny, deny. He was good at that.
Jackson doesn't drop it. 'You guys used to be friends before you came to this school, right? Until you got sorted to Gryffindor and he got into Slythe-'
'I said drop it,' Jaebum hissed, slamming his book shut, the panic at hearing his history thrown back at him clawing at his skin. That's when the anger rose, the urge to fight back. 'Look, if the guy wants you to forget there was ever a thing between the two of you, how about you make things easier for yourself and just do what he says? Because it’s probably for the best, isn’t it?' He threw the book down and plunged them into darkness by blowing at the candle with whatever air he could gather from his lungs and yanked the drapes shut. He tried to breath, assaulted by memories, confusion swirling with the myriad of other emotions fighting for dominance in his chest. How did he know? How could he know? Jaebum had always been so careful, had never met Jinyoung where his housemates could see, and if Jackson had known all this time, why had he only brought it up now and not mentioned it at the time? No one had ever witnessed Jinyoung and him interact; no one he knew anyw- Youngjae. Jaebum closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. Of course Youngjae would have dug more into it. He'd never mentioned it to Jaebum again, but he could never let sleeping dogs lie, could never ignore a mystery. He was a Ravenclaw, after all.
Not for the first time, Jaebum thought the Hogwarts school motto was written purely as a warning to Ravenclaws (Youngjae said it was written for Gryffindors, and Jaebum said that for a Ravenclaw, he was being very literal).
He didn't sleep much that night.
He was on tenterhooks the next day until it became clear Jackson wasn't going to say anything more on the subject, and Jaebum finally managed to breath easy again.
Of course, that effort was blown out of the water a few weeks later, when Jackson didn't come back to the dorm one night. That in itself didn't cause Jaebum respiratory problems, as Jackson had spent more than one night in the Hospital Wing in his career at Hogwarts, but when Jaebum turned to ask him what had happened the next day, hearing rumours about him getting jumped by Slytherins (or running into a rogue centaur, depending on who you listened to), he cut himself off at the sight of the green and silver around his neck.
Jaebum turned away, as if not seeing it will make it go away, and started focussing on his breathing. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Repeat.
He heard the background noise of Jackson mumbling the story with a mouthful of crumbs, and Yugyeom saying he didn't know Jackson was in Slytherin and that comment did not help matters at all, and then the deep breathing wasn't working anymore.
'Does anyone have a paper bag?' he asked desperately and tried to be insulted when the only reaction he got was Youngjae shushing him.
He was going into a full on panic when Mark appeared and sat down next to Jackson, red and gold wrapped around his neck, and Jaebum couldn't take this; only vaguely aware of Bambam's concerned glances, because this- what was happening right in front of him- it didn't happen, it couldn't happen, he'd spent seven years convincing himself of this fact, and what was Jackson doing he can't just alter Jaebum's reality like that.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping it would help. 'Why am I alive?' he asked the universe in general, unable to comprehend the scene before him- and all the implications-
Someone kicked him in the back, and Jaebum turned around, ready to snap at whoever dared to do that, but all his words died on his as he stared up at Jinyoung, sunlight catching on his hair and making him look ethereal and oh crap, Jaebum couldn't breath again.
He only had a few seconds to deal with that before Jinyoung leaned down, and Jaebum couldn't move, couldn't talk, was completely frozen as Jinyoung's face drew nearer and nearer, and Jaebum could feel his heartbeat and then Jinyoung's lips pressed against his and Jaebum was pretty sure the world stopped.
And then Jinyoung was shooting a thumbs up at Mark- how many people knew, holy shit- and Jaebum could hear his heartbeat thundering in his ears, and there were so many thoughts whirling around in his head that he couldn't settle on one so he just stopped thinking. Stopped thinking and started doing, and it's like the floodgates had broken as he scrambled to his feet and ran after Jinyoung.
He realised a few steps before he caught up to him that he didn't know what to say, but then, Jinyoung hadn't said anything either, so Jaebum followed his lead and grabbed his arm to swing him around, not wasting any time before sealing his lips to Jinyoung's. Jinyoung laughed a little into Jaebum's mouth before he was kissing back enthusiastically, and Jaebum didn't know when this had become a thing (on Jinyoung's part, anyway) but he wasn't complaining, because if he was honest with himself, and he rarely was, he'd been wanting this for a very long time.
A part of him realised that Jackson was going to give him an earful as he pulled Jinyoung even closer, desperate in a way he wasn't sure he'd ever felt before, because he had lectured him on this very thing, and he's pretty sure he was currently performing the most blatant public display of affection in the history of the school and people were probably staring, but he couldn't bring himself to care, not when everything inside of him that he'd built up over the years was crumbling more and more with every second he was kissing Jinyoung, and Jinyoung was kissing back.
His breathing was ragged when they broke apart, Jaebum leaning his forehead against Jinyoung's, the younger's chest heaving as well. 'You've got a lot of nerve,' Jaebum whispers hoarsely, thumb caressing Jinyoung's cheek, 'Coming up and kissing me like that. How very Gryffindor of you.'
Jinyoung laughed, and Jaebum hadn't fully realised how much he'd missed it. 'Oh, I got your letter last year,' he murmured, 'Not the best penmanship, but I could make out enough.'
Jaebum groaned, only partly in mortification. 'Fuck,' he rasped, and sealed their lips together again.
pairing: jb/jinyoung
rating: pg13
notes: remix of symmetrophobic's (能让我的痛)没人看到 for kpop_ficmix 2016
summary: Gryffindors and Slytherins Do Not get along, every one knows this. It's bit unfortunate for Jinyoung and Jaebum, childhood friends sorted into the two rival houses.
Jaebum might not handle it very well.
(Alternately: Jaebum makes overdramatic generalisations and probably writes angsty early teen poetry.)
Jaebum was four when he first met Jinyoung, when his parents sent him off to the nearest wizarding home daycare (with accredited carers capable of dealing with multiple magical explosions caused accidentally by toddlers throwing tantrums). Jaebum ended up in time out after toy cars dropped on the kid-who-stole-his-toys' head, and Jinyoung ended up in time out because he was the one who'd stolen Jaebum's toys.
It was the start of a firm friendship, one forged in fire Jaebum liked to say. Or fifteen minutes of crying in the corridor together, Jinyoung would say. He always was the pragmatic one of the pair.
Their parents knew each other in the vague way that wizarding folk knew other witches and wizards residing in the nearby vicinity; they would nod at each other should they pass each other in Diagon Alley, but they never really had a conversation.
Nevertheless, Jinyoung and Jaebum went from the same daycare to the same local wizarding primary school- Fair Fortune Preparatory-, albeit a year apart, and spent a large amount of the four years spent there together antagonising the gnomes at the far end of the school grounds at break times.
At ten years old, with their teacher constantly talking about the next year when they would start learning magic, Jaebum took some Floo powder without asking his parents and yelled out Jinyoung's address in a fit of concern, not even thinking about whether Jinyoung's fire would be burning.
Luckily, it was, despite it being nearing ten at night, and Jaebum stumbled out the fireplace and tripped over the poker, hissing at the heat of the flames and landing in a small puff of ash on the carpet in front of a wide-eyed blinking Jinyoung, curled up in an armchair with a book.
'Jinyoung?' a voice drifted in from another room. 'What was that?'
'Nothing, mom!' Jinyoung yelled, probably a bit too enthusiastically.
'Nothing? Really? Is that why you screamed?' The voice was coming nearer, and Jinyoung was out of his chair, grabbing Jaebum wrist and shoving him behind it, finger over his lips and hushing him.
'I wanted to poke the fire and fell,' Jinyoung said, and Jaebum assumed his mom had entered the room.
'How on earth did you manage that?'
Jaebum could imagine Jinyoung shrugging, and he heard his mother sigh.
'Alright. Are you okay?'
'Fine' Jinyoung assured her.
'Isn't it about time for you to go to bed?'
'I'm almost finished my book, mom, just a little bit longer?' Jinyoung pleaded.
'Well I suppose it is a Friday. Okay. Don't stay up too late, okay?'
Jaebum heard retreating footsteps and then Jinyoung appeared in front of him, brows creased.
'What are you doing?' he hissed, 'Why are you here? Do your parents know you're here?'
'Where are you going?' Jaebum blurted and Jinyoung looked at him in confusion.
'What?'
'Year after next,' Jaebum clarified, 'Where are you going after Fair Fortune?'
Jinyoung's brow cleared. 'Oh. Hogwarts, probably.'
'Probably?' Jabeum asked, voice urgent.
'My sisters are there, so unless I ask to go somewhere else, then yeah, Hogwarts. Why?' Jinyoung's brow furrowed again. 'Where are you going?' he asked cautiously.
'Hogwarts,' Jaebum said on a sigh of relief.
Jinyoung scowled and punched Jaebum's shoulder. 'Scaring me there. Was that it? Is that why you came here? Why couldn't it have waited until Monday? Or you could have sent an owl, it's not like there's a long flight between our houses.'
'My cousin's going to Durmstrang,' Jaebum admitted, 'And my parents were talking about it at dinner, and they asked me if I wanted to go there as well, and I said no, but then I couldn't sleep and got worried that you weren't going to Hogwarts and- I just needed to know.'
'Your parents don't know you're here, do they?' Jinyoung asked, and Jaebum shook his head sheepishly. 'You're an idiot.'
Jaebum gaped in indignation. 'No, I'm not!'
'We would have seen each other in like, three days, and you have an entire year until you finish at Fair Fortune.'
'Yeah, but then it's an entire year without you there and a whole pile of people a whole school of people I don't know-'
'The majority of your class is probably going to Hogwarts,' Jinyoung interrupted, dead pan.
'-and I'll be all alone and the only thing that will get me through is the thought of you joining me the year after,' Jaebum continued, blithely ignoring him, 'and I just needed to be sure it wouldn't be a empty hope. So I could sleep.'
Jinyoung stared at him, unimpressed. 'Right.'
Jaebum nodded looking at Jinyoung expectantly, and the silence drew out between them. 'I just gave a dramatic spe-' Jaebum started.
'I'm touched, really,' Jinyoung cut him off 'but you're still an idiot. Did you even think about how you're going to get home.'
Jaebum faltered. 'Well. You guys have Floo powder, don't you?'
'What if we've run out?' Jinyoung said impassively, 'What if my parents keep it locked away so their children can't take a handful and Floo themselves somewhere without their knowledge at ten o'clock at night?'
Jaebum frowned. 'Um. I didn't- think of that.'
'Clearly.' Jinyoung heaved a sigh. 'Our Floo powder's on the mantel. You should probably go home before your parents freak.'
Jaebum nodded, and peers over the couch to check that the coast was clear before heading to the fireplace, staring down at the not-quite-dying flames. 'This'll be fun,' he muttered, before grabbing a handfull of Floo powder and standing as near to the flames as he could bear. He turned to shoot a grin at Jinyoung, curled back on his chair. 'Hogwarts, right?' he said and Jinyoung sighed heavily.
'Yes, hyung,' he said, 'Hogwarts.'
And with that, Jaebum declared his address and leapt into the flames as they glowed green from the Floo powder, hearing Jinyoung exclaim about his volume in the second before he span through fireplaces.
The year passed quickly, and his parents said Jinyoung could come along when he went to get his wand, brimming with excitement, only letting go of it when his parents bought them icecream and even then only at Jinyoung's suggestion he not get it dirty.
'You'll write, right?' Jinyoung asked quietly, when they were back at Jaebum's house, his school stuff spread out all over his bedroom floor.
'Of course,' Jaebum said immediately, 'I'll write so much Warbeak will live up to her name and launch an organized attack on me.'
Jinyoung laughed and glanced up to where Jaebum's grey owl sat perched on one o the rafters. 'I still can't believe you named your owl after some horrible pun on some old singer's name.'
Jaebum put his hand over his heart in not-quite-mock offense. 'Celestina Warbeak is a wonderful name, how dare you.'
Jinyoung rolled his eyes trying to hide his smile. 'But you will write?'
'I was being serious,' Jaebum said in reply, 'I'll even send you Howlers so you won't forget the dulcet sound of my voice.' Jaebum framed his face with his hands and batted his eyelashes at Jinyoung, and got a fistful of cloak thrown in his face, and then the two of them were laughing hysterically.
'I'll miss you,' Jinyoung admitted quietly that night, candles extinguished and the two of them curled up in Jaebum's bed.
'I'll miss you the most,' Jaebum replied sleepily.
Dear Jinyoung
Hogwarts Express is just as red as you said it was, and I didn't cry when I said goodbye to my parents, so you owe me five knuts. I met this guy on the train who let me sit in his compartment, his name's Hyunwoo and he's a second year and a Hufflpuff and he was nice. I got a bit lost on the platform so he pointed me towards the lake and we road on boats and it was really cool, and this one guy in another boat was really loud, like REALLY loud and he spoke the entire trip- I think his best friend must have come with him- and everytime his boat tipped to the side he shrieked. And then the castle looked so amazing and so cool and I'm not going to tell you more because you've got to see it for yourself, I want you to have the full experience next year. Unless your sisters already told you what it was like. Anyway.
Hyunwoo waved at me in the Great Hall (a ghost floated through me, this guy with blood all over him, scary as hell- him, not him floating through me that was just like I'd been dunked in ice water like that time you stuffed snow down the back of my shirt) but I probably won't see him much (Hyunwoo not the ghost) because...
I got sorted into Gryffindor!!! So did the really loud guy, he claimed the bed next to mine, his name's Jackson and he's really friendly but so LOUD. You'd probably like him, you talk the same amount. Or you'd hate him. I don't know. You can't like him more than you like me though, okay? I don't know if I'll be that close with him he kind of gives me a headache. But anyway. The common room is really great, it's so warm, and everyone's really nice (except the Slytherins, we had a class with them and I ACCIDENTALLY stood on this guys robe and he glared at me so hard and told me he'd hex me if I didn't watch where I put my feet and that I'm just a dumb Gryffindor. Like how rude. He's dumb. It's been like a week he probably doesn't know any hexes anyway.). The Fat Lady's really bad at singing but she's pretty cool for a painting- I forgot the password the first day and had to wait for someone to come along though. It was a prefect. She was nice.
But the most important part! Well second most important, most important is me getting into GRYFFINDOR but a very close second is the food- it's so good. IT'S SO GOOD. I didn't realise how bad my mom is at cooking until now, I've got to learn how to cook from the house elves. I think I heard a sixth year say to his friend they were going to the kitchens, I've got to find out where they are...
Wish you were here. See you over Christmas.
Your best friend,
Jaebum
Dear Jaebum
The bet was tear up, so if you did that then I don't owe you anything. My sisters said the same thing as you about seeing the castle so I guess I'll get the full experience next year.
That must've been the Bloody Baron- noona says he's the Slytherin ghost and her least favourite- well, second least, she says the Grey Lady actually creeps her out more because she hardly ever speaks and just floats around, but she's the Ravenclaw ghost so she says he has to like her more than the Bloody Baron because she's in Ravenclaw. Also you spelled Hufflepuff wrong.
That's cool! Gryffindor sounds cool- some really cool wizards were in Gryffindor, my sister was telling me- her boyfriend's in Gryffindor, she likes to brag she's dating the next Minister of Magic. I met him over Christmas- I highly doubt it.
Make friends, you idiot, talk to the friendly guy. I'll send him a letter, I swear, do I have to do everything for you? I'll be there in a year, then you can ignore everyone else again. So don't like them too much. But make friends with your housemates, otherwise they're going to think you're weird. They wouldn't be wrong, but not in the Death Eater kind of way. Don't be a loner. You do have a habit of not looking where you're putting your feet- remember when you stood on your own robes and almost killed yourself falling down the stairs? It's a good thing my mom was there with a cushioning spell.
Find the kitchens and then show them to me. Or we can look for them together next year.
School was really boring, the gnomes haven't learned any new curse words. Mrs Lee's cat got into a fight with one of them again, though, so that was funny.
Miss you. See you Christmas where you can't impress me with all the spells you've learned because you're at home.
Your best friend,
Jinyoung
J-
History of Magic is really boring. You'd probably love it.
-J
You did not need to send me a letter about that. Think about poor Warbeak. We live so far away from Hogwarts. Was that gravy on the parchment? I hope it was gravy.
Jinyoung
I HATE YOU DID YOU HAVE TO SEND ME A HOWLER FOR MY BIRTHDAY THAT WAS SO UNNECESSARY YOUR VOICE IS HORRIBLE NEVER SING AGAIN
J- I loved it. Thank you. Your voice was great. It just arrived while I was sleeping and Warbeak dropped it on my face. It's a more reasonable time now. Howlers are a horrible way to wake up. Also thank you for the present, it's such a cool galaxy model. I promise I only opened it now and not the day after you left for Hogwarts and it hasn't been revolving on my book shelf for two weeks.
Miss you
Jinyoung
JIRONGIE
I know, I know, it's February already, and I told you I'd write as soon as I got back to school, it was just really busy and Jackson- I told you about him- screwed up while practicing Charms in our room and made the floor like three hundred degrees and my socks actually burnt a bit and we were all stuck on our beds and it was like nine o clock and of course we didn't have our owls and we didn't know how to fix it because we didn't know what he'd done obviously so we had to just yell and hope someone would hear us but the walls are quite thick and even Jackson's foghorn voice didn't get anyone and then Younghyun (I told you about him too) accio'd this old spell book he got given that he uses as a prop to keep his trunk open after this one time his cat got trapped in it- stupid, really, the cat's adorable and I don't want to know what's he's got in his trunk. She sleeps on my bed a lot. I've named her Nora. He was calling her Nobbity which is honestly an insult to such a beautiful cat. Luckily, Nora's caught on. Anyway. So he accio'd the book and found an amplifying charm so he cast Sonorus on Jackson because he's already the loudest and I almost fell off my bed when he yelled then, Nora jumped like a metre into the air and jumped off the bed and then jumped again when her feet touched the floor and then ran and jumped on Younghyun's bed because it was the closest and climbed his leg so then he was yelling too- it was very loud. Prefects came and started yelling at us until we explained the situation, so they got a teacher who gave us a lecture. All of us. As if it was all of our faults. So unfair.
Apparently news spread and Ravenclaw also heard Jackson yell and somehow the Slytherins heard about it, and they kept making snide comments about it and this one guy like walked past the Gryffindor table as Jackson was talking and was like 'Oh he doesn't know how to remove the amplification charm' and his friend was like 'well, they are dumb Gryffs,what do you expect' and?????? wow Slytherins suck, Jackson just like shut up and looked really bleak and like okay I'm not that close to him and he is loud that's still so rude and uncalled for? He's not harming anyone he's just enthusiastic and honestly I would not have been as hype as I was for the Quidditch games as I was if it weren't for him and you know how much I like Quidditch. It's Slytherin vs Gryffindor this weekend I'm going to cheer like never before because honestly, Merlin strike those damn snakes down.
Slytherins suck, man.
Miss you
Jaebum
Hyung!
Thought you'd forgotten about me (what a funny joke, as if that could happen).
That sounds... eventful. Of course you'd adopt a cat, I was honestly surprised when you said you were going to take Warbeak instead of begging your parents for a cat. Guess you got the best of both, huh?
You couldn't care less about Quidditch. You fell asleep when we went to go watch Puddlemere vs the Cannons. I bonded with your father that game.
Jinyoung
Okay, 1. I decided to take Warbeak with me so I can write to you, you ungrateful bastard. 2. My dad's allergic, why do you think I don't already have a cat.
Exactly, so when I say I was hype for the game- and I was really hype for the game, face painting and cheering and everything- you must know how impressive that is.
I have a eleven inch Transfiguration essay that I have to do.
Jaebum
PS Gryffindor won the match ha, take that Slytherin!
PPS Happy Valentine's Day for tomorrow. Which is when you will get this. So. Happy Valentine's Day. I was going to send you some cockroach clusters but then I remembered I'm not allowed to go to Hogsmeade yet.
1. There are school owls. 2. I know he's allergic that's why you'd have to beg.
Very impressive. This Jackson guy deserves a medal. I'm amazed. Did you wear a lion hat? Please tell me you had a mane. I would pay to see that.
Happy Valentine's Day. Enjoy the cockroach clusters.
Hope you crushed the essay.
Jinyoung
Valentine's Day at Hogwarts is scary this dwarf walked up to me dressed as cupid and started singing to me apparently someone sent me a Valentine? It was horrible. I would honestly take cockroach clusters over that. Thanks for those, by the way. I threw them at some Slytherins. They didn't know it was me it was great.
I'm still scarred from the Valentine. Trust me, you don't ever want a dwarf singing an offkey love song to you while you're waiting outside Charms.
Jaebum
PS no I did not have a mane
Jaebum
You left your Potions book at my house. Your holiday homework sucks. Anyway, thought you might need the book.
Jinyoung
Here I thought you were writing because you missed me. Thanks. I was going crazy looking for it, I actually dumped my entire trunk out. Younghyun was horrified. Nora was ecstatic. Have to admit I put off packing the trunk until she got out, she just looked so cute sleeping in there.
Miss you already
Jaebum
It's literally been like ten days Jaebum. At least give it two weeks.
You like that cat more than you like most people.
Not more than I like youuuuuuu
Gross
Your owl hates you. Making him fly all this way for one word.
Jaebum spent half the summer at Jinyoung's house, with Jinyoung's mother laughingly bemoaning the amount the two preteens ate. He went with Jinyoungg to Diagon Alley, watching him choose his wand, and only being slightly disappointed when they had neither the same core nor wood for their wands. He offered comments on all the books and subjects, and the teachers he'd have, and come September, they were on Platform 9 3/4 together, their parents chatting mildly behind them as Jinyoung's sisters oscillated between coddling him and looking for their own friends. Jaebum hadn't made the train trip to Hogwarts since the first time, having Floo'd through to the Three Broomsticks with his dad for the holiday trips, and he'd slept for most of the train trip back at the end of the previous year- his room had decided to have an impromptu and informal end of first year party after the feast the night before and none of them had slept.
It was very different to the first year. Jinyoung's sisters insisted they sit with them, and a few of their friends joined them, so their compartment was full and loud and the constant cooing had Jinyoung scowling and sinking lower into his seat. He loved attention, but hated being babied, and Jaebum couldn't stop laughing at him.
'What house do you think you'll be in?' Jaebum asked, as if he hadn't asked this more than once over the holidays.
'I don't know,' Jinyoung replied impatiently, 'Just like the other twelve times you've asked me.'
'Okay, well. What house do you want to be in?' Jaebum rephrased.
Jinyoung sighed at the eager look on Jaebum's face.
'Ravenclaw,' his sister shot over her shoulder and Jaebum bristled.
'Gryffindor,' he insisted, 'So he'll be with me.'
His declaration was met with a chorus of coo's and laughter about how cute they were and Jaebum sulked briefly in his seat.
'You do want to be in Gryffindor, right?' he asked Jinyoung quietly. 'With me?'
'Of course,' Jinyoung said, 'But we'll still be friends no matter what house I'm in, right?'
Jaebum nodded. 'Unless it's Slytherin,' he added, 'I don't think I could ever be friends with a Slytherin.' He grins at Jinyoung, who lets out a weak laugh.
Jinyoung got sorted into Slytherin.
Jaebum gaped up at the stage, aghast, as the Sorting Hat was removed from Jinyoung's head, and he shakily moved towards the cheering Slytherin table, only belatedly looking over to the Gryffindor table, eyes darting frantically until he met Jaebum's gaze. They held eye contact for all of three seconds before someone threw an arm around his shoulder and he disappeared from Jaebum's sight into a mass of green and silver.
'We're still friends, right?' Jinyoung asked worriedly two days later, having called Jaebum's name as they left the Great Hall after lunch.
Jaebum was acutely aware of the glances thrown their way from the passing students, of the whispers he was sure were wondering why a lion and a snake were talking amicably. 'Yeah' he said, 'Of course.'
Jinyoung breathed a sigh of relief. 'Thank Merlin. When I didn't hear from you-'
'It was two days,' Jaebum interrupted with a weak grin, 'At least give it two weeks.'
'I suppose it is busy at the beginning of the year,' Jinyoung allowed. 'I lost the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom yesterday.'
'Ah, yeah,' Jaebum laughed, 'that one does tend to move around.'
They saw each other as often as possible after that, and Jaebum would never admit to steering their meetings into places less frequented by other students- it was too loud, he told himself. He never introduced him to his other friends either- the time was never right, he told himself. They were both busy, had different schedules. Jackson got onto the Quidditch team, so he was busy with training. One day.
They both stayed at Hogwarts over the Easter holidays, finding a classroom to sit and do their homework in, Jinyoung asking Jaebum for help every now and then, and Jaebum could delude himself into thinking nothing had changed.
In some ways, nothing had. They were still close, Jaebum would still send him notes every so often about things that occurred to him, Jinyoung would still send back spelling corrections. He still asked Jinyoung what he should choose for third year- and regretted it when he suggested Arithmancy. It just wasn't as Jaebum thought it would be when Jinyoung came to Hogwarts. No one really knew they were friends- at least, not on Jaebum's side.
He didn't sit with Jinyoung on the train ride at the end of the year.
And then it was Jaebum's third year, and him and Jinyoung shared a compartment on the Hogwarts Express back to school, chatting just as before, things having slowly shifted back over the long summer holidays and it was only when they got changed and Jaebum saw a flash of silver and gold that the same sinking feeling he'd had the entirety of the previous year crept up on him. Jinyoung gave him a look and asked if he was okay, and Jaebum just forced a smile.
They were sitting in a secluded nook at the edge of the forest in February, scarves up to their noses and coats over their robes, warming charms cast and a little ball of fire floating between them for extra warmth, conversation having lulled.
'That girl who gave you a rose on Valentine's Day was cute,' Jinyoung said, apropos of nothing. 'You should ask her out.'
'You think she was cute?' Jaebum asked, and Jinyoung shrugged.
'Didn't you? Half the guys in the corridor were glaring at you.'
'She's a Ravenclaw,' Jaebum said instead of answering.
'So's the first year you adopted.'
'Tutored.'
'Right. You tutored a Ravenclaw. She's one of the best looking girls in your year, you know.'
'I think I like guys,' Jaebum blurted, and the silence stretched out between them.
'Oh,' Jinyoung said carefully.
'I mean. I don't really know. Girls are nice to look at, but I don't know if I want to do anything with them.'
Jinyoung's silent for a few moments, and Jaebum's about to start talking again when: 'So you want to do things with guys?'
Jaebum could feel his cheeks turning red as he sputtered. 'That's not what I- I mean- No- I don't think so, not yet-'
'Not yet?' Jinyoung said.
'I don't know!' Jaebum said loudly, to cover his embarrassment. 'I just- I just think I like guys. Maybe. Possibly.'
Jinyoung eyed him shrewdly. 'You know, if you didn't want to ask her out, you could just say that.'
'I'm not- that's not why I'm saying this.'
'You think you like guys.'
'Yeah.'
'How long?'
Jaebum shrugged. 'A year? Maybe. Like I said, I'm not sure.'
Jinyoung was silent again for a few moments, and when he spoke, his words were measured. 'I think... if you're thinking it, you probably are. At least in some sort of way.'
Jaebum was worried he'd ruined things after that, as the air between them changed, something in the way Jinyoung looked at him. Jinyoung never said anything.
He was good at not saying anything, Jaebum found out.
'And then that fucking Slytherin was like, oh whoops, my bad, let me clear that for you and removed the ink, but his spell removed all the ink on the parchment, didn't it,' Jaebum fumed, storming around the empty classroom he'd met Jinyoung in. 'Thirteen inches of essay removed. Completely gone. And you know he did it on purpose, that asshole knew exactly what he was doing.'
'Why, because he's a Slytherin?' Jinyoung asked tiredly, and Jaebum's hackles rose again.
'Exactly! Stupid fucking asshole of a snake, good for nothing conniving evil doers, the lot of them,' Jaebum spat, anger clouding his vision.
'Evil doers? Wow,' Jinyoung said mildly, 'I'm flattered.'
'What?' Jaebum said, brows furrowing in confusion.
'You know, it's really great how you constantly make generalised and disparaging remarks about my house all the time,' Jinyoung said coldly, meeting Jaebum's eyes.
Jaebum felt like he'd walked through a ghost, the green and silver seeming to jump out at him from Jinyoung's uniform. 'I-'
'I have to go' Jinyoung said, slipping off the desk he was sitting on and heading towards the door.
'Why?' Jaebum asked, and Jinyoung flashed him a saccharine smile that didn't reach his eyes.
'Evil plans with my housemates,' he said sweetly, 'Weekly ritual, can't be missed.'
With that, Jaebum was left alone in the classroom, lead in his stomach.
He pulled Jinyoung aside four days later, down some dead end corridor no one ventured down because of a noisy suit of armour.
'About the other day-'
'Where you called me and my whole house evil?' Jinyoung cut him off. 'Or are you talking about another day?'
'I didn't mean you,' Jaebum explained desperately, 'You're none of those things. You're-'
'Different?' Jinyoung supplied. 'Because you actually know me?'
Jaebum opened his mouth and closed.
'You can't have it both ways, Jaebum. You can't hate all Slytherins and still be friends with me.'
'But-'
'There isn't any but about it, Jaebum,' Jinyoung cut him off. 'You're obsessed. Ever since you came to Hogwarts, it's been oh, Slytherin this, Slytherin that, Slytherins are arrogant, Slytherins are rude, Slytherins are the scum of the earth. I thought when I got sorted into Slytherin and you said we were still friends, you'd realise that's not necessarily the case, and you'd stop. But no, it's been a year and a half of you putting down my house anyone time that one guy in your class who doesn't like you does something. And yeah, he's a dick. That doesn't mean all of Slytherin are horrible. There are assholes in Gryffindor as well.'
'Oh yeah?' Jaebum challenged, urge to defend himself and his house rising, words falling out of his mouth impulsively. 'Like who?'
Jinyoung's eyes flashed dangerously. 'You, for one,' he spat.
Jaebum bristled. 'I am not-'
'I beg to differ. Your prejudice against Slytherin is completely ridiculous, and I've tried to ignore it, hoping it'd go away but it's just gotten worse. I can't keep ignoring it, it's starting to fuck with me.'
It was the first time Jaebum heard Jinyoung swear, but something in the way the word fell off his tongue made him think it wasn't the first time he had.
'How would it-' Jaebum started, and Jinyoung cut him off with derisive laughter.
'How? You insult my house, and by extension, me, at every turn. You won't even be seen in public with me.'
'That's not true,' Jaebum sputtered, and Jinyoung raised an eyebrow.
'I'm not dumb. I can count on one hand the times we've hung out where people can openly see us, or that you've greeted me in passing with your housemates around. The second one's easy, because it's exactly never. Am I your dirty little secret, Jaebum?' Jinyoung's voice was cold and cutting, and Jaebum felt the shame curl in his stomach.
'I never wanted you to feel like that.'
'There you go again, not thinking things through,' Jinyoung snapped, and Jaebum feels the anger calcify in him.
'Maybe I'm the one who is thinking things through,' he said, 'What would my housemates think if they saw me talking to a Slytherin? What would your housemates think?'
'Who cares?' Jinyoung shot back.
'I care!'
Jinyoung's silent for a few moments. 'Well, there it is,' he said, voice calm and collected. 'You care. You care that I'm a Slytherin.'
'I didn't say th-'
'I can read between the lines, Jaebum.'
'Jinyoung-'
'Jaebum-hyung!' A bright voice made Jaebum whip around.
'Youngjae!' he exclaimed, instinctively stepping in front of Jinyoung to greet the Ravenclaw. 'What are you doing this side of the castle?'
Youngjae blinked at him. 'The Ravenclaw Tower is in this corridor.'
'Oh, right,' Jaebum laughed weakly, 'Yeah, I knew that.'
'Are you hiding me?' Jinyoung's voice floated from behind him. 'Really, Jaebum? You're that cowardly? And here I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave.' Jaebum closed his eyes as Youngjae peered around him curiously. 'Wonpil was right,' he muttered, 'It's useless trying to be friends with a Gryffindor. Stubborn, headstrong, blockheaded brutes, all of you.' He sighed and Jaebum heard his robes rustle as he straightened up. When he spoke again, his voice was clear.
'Fuck this,' he said, 'I'm going to make things easier for you. You don't have to worry anymore, you no longer have a Slytherin friend.'
Jaebum was frozen as Jinyoung brushed past him, striding down the corridor.
'Ah, hyung,' Youngjae started after Jinyoung's footsteps had faded, 'Sounds like you-'
'Don't,' Jaebum said, 'Not now. Not ever.'
'Okay,' Youngjae said, 'So I'm just going to go.'
Jaebum nodded as Youngjae walked away, shooting glances back at Jaebum over his shoulder, and then Jaebum was alone.
'Well, my dear,' a quavery voice said behind him, and he glanced over to see a portrait of a old witch, hair white as snow and glasses perched on her nose. 'To put it delicately, you fucked that up.'
'Thanks,' Jaebum said dryly, 'Really needed that.'
'Anytime, dear.' She gave him a warm smile and Jaebum marched off, vowing to never return to that part of the castle again.
Jinyoung was very good at pretending Jaebum didn't exist, he found as Jinyoung brushed past him with nary a glance, his smile not even slipping as he chatted to his fellow Slytherins, and Jaebum's ire grew, fuelled by his guilt, until he shed everything green from his room over Easter, throwing it in a pile outside his door, and screaming into his pillow.
Slytherins were all the same, he decided with a grim finality as he stared blankly up at his ceiling. Backstabbing, fairweather people who couldn't give enough of a crap about a friendship to try and make it work.
The next few years went smoothly enough if you didn't count Jinyoung getting onto the Quidditch team and outflying every one else on the field (Jaebum didn't, he didn't even notice him, he told himself, and he definitely did not go to more Quidditch matches than before), or when he passed Jinyoung in the corridor at the beginning of his fifth year and saw Jinyoung start a little at the sight of the prefects badge on his chest, and his eyes flickered up to Jaebum's and it almost looked like he was about to say something before Jaebum brushed passed him forcefully (completely normally, Jaebum told himself, he didn't even realise it was Jinyoung, it didn't count), or that time at the beginning of Jaebum's sixth year where Jinyoung came back from the summer having had a growth spurt, sunkissed skin and robes fitting nicely and Jaebum's mouth went dry as he stared across the Great Hall to where Jinyoung was laughing with his friends, unable to look away until Jackson jostled the table reaching to greet someone and knocked the gravy boat over (that definitely didn't count, Jaebum was sure of it, he was just amazed at how obnoxiously green the Slytherin flag looked that year), or that time his cousin snuck in some Firewhiskey over Christmas and they got riproaringly drunk and Jaebum ended up crying at a green patch on his cousin's sleeve, blubbering incomprehensibly, scribbling a mostly unintelligible (he hoped) letter and getting pecked by Warbeak as he tried to attach it to her before hanging out the window and waving after her tearfully as she flew off (there was no reply or acknowledgement on Jinyoung's part, so Jaebum was pretty sure that never happened).
As far as Jaebum was concerned, Jinyoung didn't exist, and the entirety of the Slytherin house were scumbags not worthy of the slightest iota of his respect.
So when Jackson started sneaking glances at a certain red-headed Slytherin, Jaebum was quick to get vocal about his disapproval about the Slytherin house in general. It was for his own protection really, Jaebum was just being a good friend.
It wasn't like Jackson was subtle, either, as much as he liked to think he was, sighing thoughts at stupid hours of the night when Jaebum was trying to sleep, something about good and evil and Jaebum groaned; the thought far too familiar for him to be comfortable with.
Of course, none of Jaebum's efforts paid off, as Jackson stared pitifully after the red head Slytherin every time he passed him, and it was only when Jaebum cornered him one evening to tell him how useless it was, how he should never ever trust a Slytherin, never get involved with a Slytherin-
'-because they're not to be trusted, okay? Slytherins will drop you like a hot potato as soon as the next best thing comes along, and you'll be left wondering what in Merlin's name you did wrong,' Jaebum told him sternly (Jaebum knew what he did wrong, it ate at him whenever he let himself think about it, but he couldn't- wouldn't- stop; he was nothing if not stubborn, and he was very good at convincing himself that blame was at the very least shared, if not Jinyoung's fault entirely for getting sorted into Slytherin in the first place- but he wouldn't think about that).
'Hyung, I don't think that's t-'
'No, it is,' Jaebum insisted (it had to be), 'They'll act like it's not, because they're manipulative and conniving, but it's not worth it, you might as well give up now-'
'We're dating.'
Jaebum deflated as the air rushed out of his lungs. 'What?' he gasped, hoping he'd heard wrong.
'It's been two months,' Jackson told him, face serious, 'And Mark's not any of those things. I'm telling you, he's not.'
'Two months,' Jaebum said faintly, stepping back blindly until he hit his bed and sat down abruptly.
'Hyung, are you okay?' Jackson asked, concerned, and Jaebum looked up at him.
'Am I-? No, I am not! Jackson, you're dating a-' Jaebum cut himself off as he realised he was yelling, his next words being hissed as if they were swear words at a family gathering. 'You're dating a Slytherin.'
'Yeah' Jackson agreed readily, 'I am. Don't worry, hyung, we're very discreet.'
Jaebum didn't know how to classify the sound that tore from his throat but he's pretty sure it was desperate and he wanted to yell, wanted to tell Jackson that that wouldn't work, it would still end the same, Gryffindors and Slytherins can't be together; it doesn't work. But he couldn't, nothing would pass his lips, a lump in his throat he couldn't force words around.
So when, two or three months later, when Jackson got a letter from what he recognised as Mark's owl, and went serious, barely cracking a smile while insisting he was fine, Jaebum felt vindicated. He felt horrible for Jackson, but he had warned him.
Jackson showed him the letter later that night, drapes drawn around his bed, and Jaebum's eyes flickered over the terse note. He patted Jackson on the shoulder as his friend wrung his hands.
'I mean, it's fine,' Jackson said, as if trying to convince himself (Jaebum would recognise that tactic anywhere). 'He didn't say we're broken up, so it's just... a little break, right? One cancelled date is nothing, really, in the grand scheme of things.' Jaebum nodded in false placation, face grim.
Jackson picked up Nora from where she'd been sleeping at the foot of Jaebum's bed when he got back, and while Jaebum would normally complain about the loss of his personal foot warmer (Yugyeom had said that Hufflepuff had feet warmers at the bottom of their beds, and Jaebum had never been more jealous. Yugyeom had been very confused when they told him that wasn't the case in any of the other houses), but as he watched Jackson traipse to his bed, arms wrapped around a yawning Nora as if she were a teddy bear, he decided magnanimously that Jackson needed the extra comfort tonight.
Jaebum sighed. He knew it would come to this. Sure, the letter might have said nothing about taking a break or anything, but Jaebum thought that was even more cruel, because now Jackson would just be left with that tiny bit of hope, and Mark would just never contact him again, and that was probably the plan all along, to break Jackson's heart in the slowest way possible. And now Jackson was going to pine away and develop trust issues and would never form a meaningful relationship, and he'd end up dating people who didn't care about him, who took advantage of his kind nature and broken soul, because Jackson will believe that's all he deserves, and after being tossed aside again and again, he'd sink into depression and steal a child to have someone he can love, someone who loves him, and he'll be caught and arrested because he's so blinded by heartbreak and he's never been subtle, and he'll waste away in Azkaban for attacking the Auror who came to get the child, half crazed by loneliness, and he'll die early, and it will all be because of Park Jin- Mark Tuan being a devious, evil, conniving snake.
That was part of why he refused Jackson's request to borrow his owl a few weeks later. That, and he was not encouraging a relationship with a Slytherin.
And then-
'You knew one too, didn't you?'
'You really- wait, what?' Jaebum looked up at Jackson in confusion, thrown from his train of thought of vehement refusal. 'One what?'
'That Slytherin sixth-year? Black hair, likes to talk quite a bit, the 'best seeker Slytherins seen in decades'?' Jackson said, not qquite as confidently as normal and Jaebum's blood ran cold. How did he- He's lost, back in his second year where him and Jinyoung were still fine, still talking and something that feels a lot like regret swells in his chest. 'What was his name? Park Jinyou-'
'Drop it,' Jaebum said sharply, Jackson saying his name making it all the more real, despite him describing Jinyoung in a way that left Jaebum no doubt who he was talking about. The feeling in his chest grew more suffocating. 'And I don't know what you're talking about,' he added. Deny, deny, deny. He was good at that.
Jackson doesn't drop it. 'You guys used to be friends before you came to this school, right? Until you got sorted to Gryffindor and he got into Slythe-'
'I said drop it,' Jaebum hissed, slamming his book shut, the panic at hearing his history thrown back at him clawing at his skin. That's when the anger rose, the urge to fight back. 'Look, if the guy wants you to forget there was ever a thing between the two of you, how about you make things easier for yourself and just do what he says? Because it’s probably for the best, isn’t it?' He threw the book down and plunged them into darkness by blowing at the candle with whatever air he could gather from his lungs and yanked the drapes shut. He tried to breath, assaulted by memories, confusion swirling with the myriad of other emotions fighting for dominance in his chest. How did he know? How could he know? Jaebum had always been so careful, had never met Jinyoung where his housemates could see, and if Jackson had known all this time, why had he only brought it up now and not mentioned it at the time? No one had ever witnessed Jinyoung and him interact; no one he knew anyw- Youngjae. Jaebum closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. Of course Youngjae would have dug more into it. He'd never mentioned it to Jaebum again, but he could never let sleeping dogs lie, could never ignore a mystery. He was a Ravenclaw, after all.
Not for the first time, Jaebum thought the Hogwarts school motto was written purely as a warning to Ravenclaws (Youngjae said it was written for Gryffindors, and Jaebum said that for a Ravenclaw, he was being very literal).
He didn't sleep much that night.
He was on tenterhooks the next day until it became clear Jackson wasn't going to say anything more on the subject, and Jaebum finally managed to breath easy again.
Of course, that effort was blown out of the water a few weeks later, when Jackson didn't come back to the dorm one night. That in itself didn't cause Jaebum respiratory problems, as Jackson had spent more than one night in the Hospital Wing in his career at Hogwarts, but when Jaebum turned to ask him what had happened the next day, hearing rumours about him getting jumped by Slytherins (or running into a rogue centaur, depending on who you listened to), he cut himself off at the sight of the green and silver around his neck.
Jaebum turned away, as if not seeing it will make it go away, and started focussing on his breathing. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Repeat.
He heard the background noise of Jackson mumbling the story with a mouthful of crumbs, and Yugyeom saying he didn't know Jackson was in Slytherin and that comment did not help matters at all, and then the deep breathing wasn't working anymore.
'Does anyone have a paper bag?' he asked desperately and tried to be insulted when the only reaction he got was Youngjae shushing him.
He was going into a full on panic when Mark appeared and sat down next to Jackson, red and gold wrapped around his neck, and Jaebum couldn't take this; only vaguely aware of Bambam's concerned glances, because this- what was happening right in front of him- it didn't happen, it couldn't happen, he'd spent seven years convincing himself of this fact, and what was Jackson doing he can't just alter Jaebum's reality like that.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping it would help. 'Why am I alive?' he asked the universe in general, unable to comprehend the scene before him- and all the implications-
Someone kicked him in the back, and Jaebum turned around, ready to snap at whoever dared to do that, but all his words died on his as he stared up at Jinyoung, sunlight catching on his hair and making him look ethereal and oh crap, Jaebum couldn't breath again.
He only had a few seconds to deal with that before Jinyoung leaned down, and Jaebum couldn't move, couldn't talk, was completely frozen as Jinyoung's face drew nearer and nearer, and Jaebum could feel his heartbeat and then Jinyoung's lips pressed against his and Jaebum was pretty sure the world stopped.
And then Jinyoung was shooting a thumbs up at Mark- how many people knew, holy shit- and Jaebum could hear his heartbeat thundering in his ears, and there were so many thoughts whirling around in his head that he couldn't settle on one so he just stopped thinking. Stopped thinking and started doing, and it's like the floodgates had broken as he scrambled to his feet and ran after Jinyoung.
He realised a few steps before he caught up to him that he didn't know what to say, but then, Jinyoung hadn't said anything either, so Jaebum followed his lead and grabbed his arm to swing him around, not wasting any time before sealing his lips to Jinyoung's. Jinyoung laughed a little into Jaebum's mouth before he was kissing back enthusiastically, and Jaebum didn't know when this had become a thing (on Jinyoung's part, anyway) but he wasn't complaining, because if he was honest with himself, and he rarely was, he'd been wanting this for a very long time.
A part of him realised that Jackson was going to give him an earful as he pulled Jinyoung even closer, desperate in a way he wasn't sure he'd ever felt before, because he had lectured him on this very thing, and he's pretty sure he was currently performing the most blatant public display of affection in the history of the school and people were probably staring, but he couldn't bring himself to care, not when everything inside of him that he'd built up over the years was crumbling more and more with every second he was kissing Jinyoung, and Jinyoung was kissing back.
His breathing was ragged when they broke apart, Jaebum leaning his forehead against Jinyoung's, the younger's chest heaving as well. 'You've got a lot of nerve,' Jaebum whispers hoarsely, thumb caressing Jinyoung's cheek, 'Coming up and kissing me like that. How very Gryffindor of you.'
Jinyoung laughed, and Jaebum hadn't fully realised how much he'd missed it. 'Oh, I got your letter last year,' he murmured, 'Not the best penmanship, but I could make out enough.'
Jaebum groaned, only partly in mortification. 'Fuck,' he rasped, and sealed their lips together again.