[null]
I've never felt so much of a mess in my life. And I'm really trying just to go though it but it's... it's odd. That's the best way to say it. I don't know what more to really say about it.
I'm still trying to earn up to SakuraCon... and I put in another resume to Tabboo... beecause I KNOW if they would just call me in, or just... iunno... I know I can get hired on there! I just know it! Shit... I loved that side of retail, it was fun... and... yeah. But I really need a job. It's not just for SakuraCon... or for KumoriCon next year... It's more of the fact that... that I can prove to myself I'm not just as useless like I feel a tad right now. So I can help out with rent... food... bills... to which unforently will take up all of my paychecks... I already forsee that.
And I know I complain about my life so much... but really... I don't mind the odd yet quite life I live. It's just... sometimes the same thing over and over and over and over and... Well.. you get the picture... get's a bit.. well.. boring.
And then on top of that... of leaving B.T. and other things... I find out B.T's and I's brothers... they died in a crash. the last time I talked to two of the three ended up in a fight and... That all mushes togeather in one lovely mess..
And now my mom all she can think of is her damn self and how pittiful she's doing and... It's pissing me off! And she's all just wanting me to bitch to me more when I really don't need it. That's all she's ever used me for anyways... And... It's just... annoying.
Then I'm never going to see my younger brother again... Thanks to my father. He's made sure of that for my Grandama, so I know it's going to be inforced thirty times stronger with me. all because I just can't like his stupid ass wife! Ass hole to chose some damned... damned outsider WOMAN over his own fleash and blood! I hate to say it... but I guess all I really was to him was... just some figure for his stupid bank account... He always said he loved me...but... this doesn't prove it... not at all.
Then the ex I live with keeps trying to get freash with me, and he knows my situations, and it's just... NO! Shit... how many times can one fuckin' person say no to one goddamn thing!! X.x For everything Holy... I mean... I'm about ready to fuckin' leave just to get away from it... but I have no where else really to go. And unforentetly, that's what stoping me.
But... whatever. I've run out of time for right now...so... I'll just leave it as be.
I know tomorrow is another day, and that I can still make something of it.
I'm still trying to earn up to SakuraCon... and I put in another resume to Tabboo... beecause I KNOW if they would just call me in, or just... iunno... I know I can get hired on there! I just know it! Shit... I loved that side of retail, it was fun... and... yeah. But I really need a job. It's not just for SakuraCon... or for KumoriCon next year... It's more of the fact that... that I can prove to myself I'm not just as useless like I feel a tad right now. So I can help out with rent... food... bills... to which unforently will take up all of my paychecks... I already forsee that.
And I know I complain about my life so much... but really... I don't mind the odd yet quite life I live. It's just... sometimes the same thing over and over and over and over and... Well.. you get the picture... get's a bit.. well.. boring.
And then on top of that... of leaving B.T. and other things... I find out B.T's and I's brothers... they died in a crash. the last time I talked to two of the three ended up in a fight and... That all mushes togeather in one lovely mess..
And now my mom all she can think of is her damn self and how pittiful she's doing and... It's pissing me off! And she's all just wanting me to bitch to me more when I really don't need it. That's all she's ever used me for anyways... And... It's just... annoying.
Then I'm never going to see my younger brother again... Thanks to my father. He's made sure of that for my Grandama, so I know it's going to be inforced thirty times stronger with me. all because I just can't like his stupid ass wife! Ass hole to chose some damned... damned outsider WOMAN over his own fleash and blood! I hate to say it... but I guess all I really was to him was... just some figure for his stupid bank account... He always said he loved me...but... this doesn't prove it... not at all.
Then the ex I live with keeps trying to get freash with me, and he knows my situations, and it's just... NO! Shit... how many times can one fuckin' person say no to one goddamn thing!! X.x For everything Holy... I mean... I'm about ready to fuckin' leave just to get away from it... but I have no where else really to go. And unforentetly, that's what stoping me.
But... whatever. I've run out of time for right now...so... I'll just leave it as be.
I know tomorrow is another day, and that I can still make something of it.