On the Way! Or There Already, Whatever
We're off to the gem show now. We (or at least I) had a good time at my aunt and uncle's house. While my aunt was at her class we went out to dinner (Outback, yum), and I played some games with my cousins after dinner for a couple of hours. I forgot how uncomfortable sitting on the floor for hours is.
My cousin Abigail is such a sweet girl. She's only ten years old, but she is already very smart. From what she tells me, and my own observations, she is obviously quite popular at school, but you can tell that she won't turn into one of those bitchy popular girls. Good upbringing, especially by her mom. She and her brother don't always get along, but that seems to be the nature of brother/sister relationships when you're young. They bug each other, though, so it's equal I guess.
Things went quite well until this morning before we left, when I got into a fight with my mom. Well, that's not quite true. Let me explain.
Quite a long time ago (couple of months, I think), we were out to dinner at Olive Garden. I got some dish with sausage in it (I think it was one of those limited time things), and I remarked that the sausage was good (or something to that effect). So mom says, "Oh, speaking of sausage..." Now, at this point, what do you expect her to talk about? Sausage, right? Nope. She goes on to mention that Arby's has a new reuben sandwich. A reuben, which obviously doesn't contain sausage, as reubens are made of corned beef (or, apparently turkey as well, if you are Arby's). Not that this makes any difference, but I don't think that Arby's even serves sausage.
Now, anyone who has spent an extended period of time with me and had any kind of long conversation with me probably knows that I like the "speaking of" segue. It is very handy when you are talking about something and you are reminded about some related thing/event/person. For example (off the top of my head):
Person A: Do you watch Lost?
Person B: Yeah, that show rocks!
Person A: Did you see the season finale?
Person A: Yeah, wasn't it good? I can't wait until next season!
Person B: Oh, speaking of Lost, Matthew Fox is on the Tonight Show tomorrow.
So, the point of this segue (as illustrated above is that the thing you are speaking of (Lost above) should relate to the thing you mention after (Matthew Fox). This example works because Matthew Fox is on Lost. You can really use this segue in lots of different ways, as long at both parts are related. When mom did it, she clearly misued it. Sausage and reubens aren't related. And don't give me any crap about how both have meat, which is just too tenuous a connection for "speaking of" (and which Mom didn't try to offer).
Now, my problem with Mom's use of this segue stems mostly from the fact that there is a perfectly useful segue in existence that would have worked just as well. Namely, "that reminds me." In fact, this phrase would have worked better, since it actually makes sense in context. I explained this to mom, and how I thought it was silly to use an incorrect expression when there was an existing one that suited your purpose perfectly. It was more gramatically correct, and sounded better (I sort of think that blatant misuse of the language, when the misuse doesn't make any logical sense, and when it's obvious you think you're not misusing, makes you look a bit stupid, and can be embarrassing). She didn't understand where I was coming from at all, and wouldn't try to understand (at least it didn't seem like she was trying from my POV). She just said it was ok for her to do it if she wanted to. She didn't care that she was misusing my segue in such a blatant way. Not that I told her it was my segue, but still. She also laughed at me, which I hate, since I think it is mean for your mother to laugh at you, especially when she knows you were made fun of for many years at school. Laughing at your jokes or something silly you did is ok, but laughing at your point of view is not.
So, cut to Monday, when we were on the way to Charlotte. She is talking about the gem show and the heat, and she says, "I hope it's not this hot there; I'll be sweating like a stuck pig.". I was thinking WTF does that mean? I told her that the expression was just "sweating like a pig", and that she was probably confusing it with "bleeding like a stuck pig". She claimed to have never heard this expression, which is fine, but when I explained to her what the two expressions meant, she said "so what, can't I make up my own expression?". Sure, fine with me, but I'd expect an expression to make at least a bit of sense. When you stick a pig (like with something sharp), it doesn't sweat, it bleeds (or if it's not that hurt, it probably cries or something and tries to hurt you or run away), so the observer has no idea what you're trying to convey. Are you saying you'll sweat a ton, like a pig would, or are you saying you'll sweat so much you'll bleed (impossible, I say!)? It doesn't make sense. I explained to her that it didn't make logical sense, and that it made her sound dumb when she said it (misusing the expression in an obvious way--mixing your metaphors like that--makes you sound like you don't know what you're talking about, IMO). I kept trying to get her to see that it made her sound ignorant, which makes me feel as though others would think me ignorant by extension if they heard her say it in my presence without correction. Hey, I never said my mind worked in totally normal ways!
She kept saying she understood, but 20 minutes later when I tried to explain it again with a totally unrelated expression, we got this:
Me: Ok, do you know the expression "silent as a tomb"?
Mom: Yes.
Me: You know what it means, right?
Mom: Yeah, it means very quiet.
Me: Right. So, say someone said "silent as a headstone". What would you think?
Mom: I wouldn't care.
And there is the problem right there. I was trying to get her to see that I think it makes the person who is misusing the expression (and probably heard it wrong or from someone who didn't understand it, and probably thinks it is the right think to say) look ignorant, even stupid. Unless the new expression makes logial sense, which none of these have. I guess mom doesn't care if other people think she is stupid. I'm not saying she is, but she doesn't understand my point of view on this, which is that saying these things wrong (and where they don't make sense) looks dumb. And it makes those around you look dumb. I am a very sensitive girl, believe it or not, and don't like to look stupid unless I am directly responsible for it.
So, this morning, when I was getting ready to leave, I think Abigail was asking her mom about Jonathan (her brother) running track, and Barbara (her mom) responded with a comment about how he'd have to get on a better diet that gave him more energy and stuff. She said "Man cannot live on sharp cheddar and chocolate alone." IMO, that is the right way to invent your own expression. It's a play on the existing one, but it works in other ways as well. It also makes sense. Plus, it's funny. Mom tells Barbara not to let me hear her, and so I went to stop her talking, since I didn't feel as though everyone had to hear the story from someone who wasn't understanding my POV. Mom said she understood me, but from her earlier comments, it's obvious she didn't. And I didn't want to get into it with her again, so I told her not to bother. She just puts me in a bad mood.
Wow, I feel like I've been writing this forever. Now to edit it so I am not rambling and so it actually makes sense to someone else and then to post it. At the gem show no less! The Cingular/AT&T merger gave me a couple of bars on my signal, which is awesome. But it is boiling out here, so I've got to find somewhere to cool off. Maybe we'll go to lunch.
My cousin Abigail is such a sweet girl. She's only ten years old, but she is already very smart. From what she tells me, and my own observations, she is obviously quite popular at school, but you can tell that she won't turn into one of those bitchy popular girls. Good upbringing, especially by her mom. She and her brother don't always get along, but that seems to be the nature of brother/sister relationships when you're young. They bug each other, though, so it's equal I guess.
Things went quite well until this morning before we left, when I got into a fight with my mom. Well, that's not quite true. Let me explain.
Quite a long time ago (couple of months, I think), we were out to dinner at Olive Garden. I got some dish with sausage in it (I think it was one of those limited time things), and I remarked that the sausage was good (or something to that effect). So mom says, "Oh, speaking of sausage..." Now, at this point, what do you expect her to talk about? Sausage, right? Nope. She goes on to mention that Arby's has a new reuben sandwich. A reuben, which obviously doesn't contain sausage, as reubens are made of corned beef (or, apparently turkey as well, if you are Arby's). Not that this makes any difference, but I don't think that Arby's even serves sausage.
Now, anyone who has spent an extended period of time with me and had any kind of long conversation with me probably knows that I like the "speaking of" segue. It is very handy when you are talking about something and you are reminded about some related thing/event/person. For example (off the top of my head):
Person A: Do you watch Lost?
Person B: Yeah, that show rocks!
Person A: Did you see the season finale?
Person A: Yeah, wasn't it good? I can't wait until next season!
Person B: Oh, speaking of Lost, Matthew Fox is on the Tonight Show tomorrow.
So, the point of this segue (as illustrated above is that the thing you are speaking of (Lost above) should relate to the thing you mention after (Matthew Fox). This example works because Matthew Fox is on Lost. You can really use this segue in lots of different ways, as long at both parts are related. When mom did it, she clearly misued it. Sausage and reubens aren't related. And don't give me any crap about how both have meat, which is just too tenuous a connection for "speaking of" (and which Mom didn't try to offer).
Now, my problem with Mom's use of this segue stems mostly from the fact that there is a perfectly useful segue in existence that would have worked just as well. Namely, "that reminds me." In fact, this phrase would have worked better, since it actually makes sense in context. I explained this to mom, and how I thought it was silly to use an incorrect expression when there was an existing one that suited your purpose perfectly. It was more gramatically correct, and sounded better (I sort of think that blatant misuse of the language, when the misuse doesn't make any logical sense, and when it's obvious you think you're not misusing, makes you look a bit stupid, and can be embarrassing). She didn't understand where I was coming from at all, and wouldn't try to understand (at least it didn't seem like she was trying from my POV). She just said it was ok for her to do it if she wanted to. She didn't care that she was misusing my segue in such a blatant way. Not that I told her it was my segue, but still. She also laughed at me, which I hate, since I think it is mean for your mother to laugh at you, especially when she knows you were made fun of for many years at school. Laughing at your jokes or something silly you did is ok, but laughing at your point of view is not.
So, cut to Monday, when we were on the way to Charlotte. She is talking about the gem show and the heat, and she says, "I hope it's not this hot there; I'll be sweating like a stuck pig.". I was thinking WTF does that mean? I told her that the expression was just "sweating like a pig", and that she was probably confusing it with "bleeding like a stuck pig". She claimed to have never heard this expression, which is fine, but when I explained to her what the two expressions meant, she said "so what, can't I make up my own expression?". Sure, fine with me, but I'd expect an expression to make at least a bit of sense. When you stick a pig (like with something sharp), it doesn't sweat, it bleeds (or if it's not that hurt, it probably cries or something and tries to hurt you or run away), so the observer has no idea what you're trying to convey. Are you saying you'll sweat a ton, like a pig would, or are you saying you'll sweat so much you'll bleed (impossible, I say!)? It doesn't make sense. I explained to her that it didn't make logical sense, and that it made her sound dumb when she said it (misusing the expression in an obvious way--mixing your metaphors like that--makes you sound like you don't know what you're talking about, IMO). I kept trying to get her to see that it made her sound ignorant, which makes me feel as though others would think me ignorant by extension if they heard her say it in my presence without correction. Hey, I never said my mind worked in totally normal ways!
She kept saying she understood, but 20 minutes later when I tried to explain it again with a totally unrelated expression, we got this:
Me: Ok, do you know the expression "silent as a tomb"?
Mom: Yes.
Me: You know what it means, right?
Mom: Yeah, it means very quiet.
Me: Right. So, say someone said "silent as a headstone". What would you think?
Mom: I wouldn't care.
And there is the problem right there. I was trying to get her to see that I think it makes the person who is misusing the expression (and probably heard it wrong or from someone who didn't understand it, and probably thinks it is the right think to say) look ignorant, even stupid. Unless the new expression makes logial sense, which none of these have. I guess mom doesn't care if other people think she is stupid. I'm not saying she is, but she doesn't understand my point of view on this, which is that saying these things wrong (and where they don't make sense) looks dumb. And it makes those around you look dumb. I am a very sensitive girl, believe it or not, and don't like to look stupid unless I am directly responsible for it.
So, this morning, when I was getting ready to leave, I think Abigail was asking her mom about Jonathan (her brother) running track, and Barbara (her mom) responded with a comment about how he'd have to get on a better diet that gave him more energy and stuff. She said "Man cannot live on sharp cheddar and chocolate alone." IMO, that is the right way to invent your own expression. It's a play on the existing one, but it works in other ways as well. It also makes sense. Plus, it's funny. Mom tells Barbara not to let me hear her, and so I went to stop her talking, since I didn't feel as though everyone had to hear the story from someone who wasn't understanding my POV. Mom said she understood me, but from her earlier comments, it's obvious she didn't. And I didn't want to get into it with her again, so I told her not to bother. She just puts me in a bad mood.
Wow, I feel like I've been writing this forever. Now to edit it so I am not rambling and so it actually makes sense to someone else and then to post it. At the gem show no less! The Cingular/AT&T merger gave me a couple of bars on my signal, which is awesome. But it is boiling out here, so I've got to find somewhere to cool off. Maybe we'll go to lunch.