Writer's Block: Are women or men bigger cheats?
Chaeting has a number of aspects, theres the simple thrill of the risk, the hidden game, there is the fulfillment of some thing that may be lacking in the original relationship. In some cases a second relationship provides a sence of completeness, all relationships are a matter of compromise, sometimes the compromise leads to blandness. I'm not saying that having an affier is right, but the drivers behind it go far beyond lust and ego. I used to condemn my father for his philandering, but just as the old Indian say goes "Do not judge a man till you have walked a mile in his moccasins", so now, as some one who has had affairs and extramarital encounters with men and women. I realise that maybe he was not as bad as I thought.
On the issue of not getting caught, getting caught is the gamble. When you lay all your chips on the table, you have to be willing to accept the consequencs of getting caught, however othen gamble is not just moeny its your spoces heart, trust and love, its your family and the future of your kids that you gambe, that is the dark inescapable arrogrance of secret affairs. If there is no risk, yes more people will have affairs and flings. The two are not the same.
The worst thing to do in an affair is to string the other person alomng, telling them you will leave your curent partner to be with them, then just stretching things out and out, there also needs to a friendship that goes beyond the sex for an affiar to have real mening, if its just lust then its just a fling.
Many marriages fail when people expect their partner to be everything, often we cant find that in asingle person, in some cases affairs provide a vent that allows a relationship to breath by removing some of the pressure or fustration.
But what of the original marriage, in all fairness I realse that many women would have divorced me or murdered me by now, however few men would have been able to put up with my wife as long as I have. Sometimes you have to know and accept your limitations, yes we both still care for each other and take pride that we've lasted for so long. My wife knows about my affairs she also knows the reasons and knows that I'm bisexual, while we are able to function well as friends we are often sexualy out of sync.
Is marriage defunct. I dont think so, but I think it needs to be redfined beyond traditional perspectives. I believe there is room for all types of poligimous, and homo/ bi sexual relationships as well as more complex monogamous relationships, this includes sepertae houses and even celibate marriages. You don't need to walk down an aisle and all that, to me its a waste of money and effort. However commited relationships and a depth of friendship counts for so much more.
On the issue of not getting caught, getting caught is the gamble. When you lay all your chips on the table, you have to be willing to accept the consequencs of getting caught, however othen gamble is not just moeny its your spoces heart, trust and love, its your family and the future of your kids that you gambe, that is the dark inescapable arrogrance of secret affairs. If there is no risk, yes more people will have affairs and flings. The two are not the same.
The worst thing to do in an affair is to string the other person alomng, telling them you will leave your curent partner to be with them, then just stretching things out and out, there also needs to a friendship that goes beyond the sex for an affiar to have real mening, if its just lust then its just a fling.
Many marriages fail when people expect their partner to be everything, often we cant find that in asingle person, in some cases affairs provide a vent that allows a relationship to breath by removing some of the pressure or fustration.
But what of the original marriage, in all fairness I realse that many women would have divorced me or murdered me by now, however few men would have been able to put up with my wife as long as I have. Sometimes you have to know and accept your limitations, yes we both still care for each other and take pride that we've lasted for so long. My wife knows about my affairs she also knows the reasons and knows that I'm bisexual, while we are able to function well as friends we are often sexualy out of sync.
Is marriage defunct. I dont think so, but I think it needs to be redfined beyond traditional perspectives. I believe there is room for all types of poligimous, and homo/ bi sexual relationships as well as more complex monogamous relationships, this includes sepertae houses and even celibate marriages. You don't need to walk down an aisle and all that, to me its a waste of money and effort. However commited relationships and a depth of friendship counts for so much more.