Spreadin the Xmas Depression
I don't know, this entry is just me letting out some thoughts, without actually writing anything.. if that makes sense. I don't really care if it doesn't. I've never hated myself more, or wanted to turn back time more than now. I've never had to deal with this, and so i don't know how. It's not like you grow up being taught how to handle stuff like this, and I'm a weak person as is. I just want to get in my truck and take off. I don't know where exactly, but I know where I'd end up. I hate this more than anything...I just don't know anything anymore. Who do I talk to now? You are the only person i've ever been 100% comfortable with.. ever. The only person I could relate to, the only one I would do anything for. I'm so stupid. I should've just told you everything, I was so afraid I'd interfere with your life. I guess this is better for you, no more dealing with me being like this... hurting you when you're the last person to deserve it. No more games, tests..nothing. All I have left is hoping and wishing and thinking. I could apologize forever, say I'm sorry every minute, and it still wouldn't be good enough. I love you, I miss you, I hate me.
I said hello I think I'm broken
And though I was only jokin'
It took me by surprise when you agreed
I was tryin' to be clever
For the life of me I never
Would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead
You knew all my lines
You knew all my tricks
You knew how to heal that pain
No medicine can fix
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone
Lookin' back it's still surprisin'
I was sinking you were rising
With a look you caught me in mid-air
Now I know God has His reasons
But sometimes it's hard to see them
When I awake and find that you're not there
You found hope in hopeless
Your made crazy sane
You became the missing link
That helped me break my chains
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone
The bad news is you're gone
I said hello I think I'm broken
And though I was only jokin'
It took me by surprise when you agreed
I was tryin' to be clever
For the life of me I never
Would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead
You knew all my lines
You knew all my tricks
You knew how to heal that pain
No medicine can fix
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone
Lookin' back it's still surprisin'
I was sinking you were rising
With a look you caught me in mid-air
Now I know God has His reasons
But sometimes it's hard to see them
When I awake and find that you're not there
You found hope in hopeless
Your made crazy sane
You became the missing link
That helped me break my chains
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone
The bad news is you're gone