(no subject)
Sooo... i don't know. i'm just down and i don't know what to do. i can't talk to ANYONE literally because either they a)just don't give a rats ass [i can't blame them] b)they won't understand cause they don't know the half of it [not their fault] or c) they'll become upset/worried. i don't know.. theres so many.. stupid.. people.. and stupid things that just could have and should have been avoided. i don't know. I wish i could rewind back to .. hm.. lets say.. grade 9, the beginning. Oh how great i would make things now. Life would be effin perfect, or at least i'd be happy most of the time. I would have you i would have them, and them too.. and we would be happy and get out and actually do stuff together and enjoy spending time together.. and i wouldn't have those extras tagging around and ruining my life. I would be healthy, both physically and mentally.. I would be happy. I would be 'obedient' and be passing all my classes, n' looking forward to graduating...fuck why did i go and look at that stupid fucking site, why did i attempt to call? Why didn't i just close the page, turn off the phone, and just.. not torment myself further. oh right, i know why, because im a fucking dumbass. i want my happy story with my happy fucking ending. but most of all i just want to be happy.