Mister
As of yesterday, Medicare officially knows me as male. While this is more for practical reasons (testosterone can only be prescribed to males under Medicare, which makes sense) but internally this feels huge. The government, or at least a part of it, knows I'm a man. It feels so official. Just with a quick change on my profile, I've gone from an F to an M. And it was so easy to change! I just went to the Medicare office and handed over my card and the letter from my psychiatrist approving me for hormone treatment and officially diagnosing me with gender dysphoria. Bam. If only it were all that easy.
I don't think the woman at the Medicare office was used to anyone being so happy to fill out paperwork. But I can't help it, I'm just sharing my excitement with everyone. I went to the dentist the other day and they had a field for preferred name and I also mentioned I prefer to go by male pronouns. They put that in the notes and made sure the dentist knew and I spent the time in the waiting room laughing with the woman at the desk about bureaucracy and hormones and puberty. I can't help but be open about all this, because I find it fascinating and exciting and I'm fucking bouncing on my feet about how cool all this is. The pathologist taking my blood noted I was getting my testosterone levels checked and I mentioned it's so I can start treatment and she was stoked for me. I could never be closeted as trans. Maybe once the physical changes slow down and I'm being seen as male most of the time, it won't come up. But right now, it's something I think about so much and I can't help but share that.
This means that I'm officially a month away from starting T. I got my blood test as well, which hopefully will all be clear and normal and the only barrier now between me and starting treatment is time. And sadly there's nothing I can do to hurry that up, so I'll just make the most of this time. I guess in a month I'll be starting puberty again, and all that comes with it. Lucky J! She gets to deal with mood swings and frustration and me being a massive sook! But at the same time, she'll get to see me change day by day.
I took my "Before" photos today. I technically should have done that before I started lifting, but whatever, not like 5 sessions will have made much difference to my body. But it's so motivating to have Before photos and having no idea what the After will look like. It's so weird. I'm an adult, and I'm going to look sound and feel really different 12 months from now. Knowing it's only my hard work that will result in the changes I want is kind of scary. But all the more reason to LIFT! Lifting is also helping my mental health. When I find myself wanting to not be sober lifting replaces that need with an endorphin high and a sense of achievement. So there's not much downside there. I just need to remember it's worth the discomfort and the energy and the effort.
Outside of transitioning, real life stress is creeping back in. Money sucks. Well, a lack of money sucks. Living pay cheque to pay cheque is endless. A few big expenses coming up and I'm not entirely sure how we'll make that happen. But we'll plod on. Always do. We've been through way worse and we're still kicking.
I've got a pretty kickass weekend lined up, super keen for that. As always, got awesome people around me, got awesome tunes to listen to, got the silliest dog in the world. Life isn't so hard.
I don't think the woman at the Medicare office was used to anyone being so happy to fill out paperwork. But I can't help it, I'm just sharing my excitement with everyone. I went to the dentist the other day and they had a field for preferred name and I also mentioned I prefer to go by male pronouns. They put that in the notes and made sure the dentist knew and I spent the time in the waiting room laughing with the woman at the desk about bureaucracy and hormones and puberty. I can't help but be open about all this, because I find it fascinating and exciting and I'm fucking bouncing on my feet about how cool all this is. The pathologist taking my blood noted I was getting my testosterone levels checked and I mentioned it's so I can start treatment and she was stoked for me. I could never be closeted as trans. Maybe once the physical changes slow down and I'm being seen as male most of the time, it won't come up. But right now, it's something I think about so much and I can't help but share that.
This means that I'm officially a month away from starting T. I got my blood test as well, which hopefully will all be clear and normal and the only barrier now between me and starting treatment is time. And sadly there's nothing I can do to hurry that up, so I'll just make the most of this time. I guess in a month I'll be starting puberty again, and all that comes with it. Lucky J! She gets to deal with mood swings and frustration and me being a massive sook! But at the same time, she'll get to see me change day by day.
I took my "Before" photos today. I technically should have done that before I started lifting, but whatever, not like 5 sessions will have made much difference to my body. But it's so motivating to have Before photos and having no idea what the After will look like. It's so weird. I'm an adult, and I'm going to look sound and feel really different 12 months from now. Knowing it's only my hard work that will result in the changes I want is kind of scary. But all the more reason to LIFT! Lifting is also helping my mental health. When I find myself wanting to not be sober lifting replaces that need with an endorphin high and a sense of achievement. So there's not much downside there. I just need to remember it's worth the discomfort and the energy and the effort.
Outside of transitioning, real life stress is creeping back in. Money sucks. Well, a lack of money sucks. Living pay cheque to pay cheque is endless. A few big expenses coming up and I'm not entirely sure how we'll make that happen. But we'll plod on. Always do. We've been through way worse and we're still kicking.
I've got a pretty kickass weekend lined up, super keen for that. As always, got awesome people around me, got awesome tunes to listen to, got the silliest dog in the world. Life isn't so hard.