lost in confusion...
lost in a sea of emotions that fight to consume my heart.. and swollow my soul. Well tahts what it feels like anyway.... feels like i have embraced something hat is going to swollow me and never let me go... I found out today a very important person in my life may be suffering from a type of cancer... and i don't know what to do... i don't know what i can can do, if anything, to help... it seems that everytime i think life will go my way.. it turns around and kicks me in the teeth.. I can't do anyhting.. and i hate it beyond all else... i have discovered that this new emotion fucks with your mind... and i haven't really thought about it to much.. but im not sure i like the way it messes with my thinking and feelings. But i guess thats life...
I also found out last night that a good friend of mine might be pregnant.. and shes scared out of her mind... she dosen't know what to do.. but she knows im there.. I think i need to really think about what that entails... cos she knows that i'll be there... and afterwhat she said... i find myself hopeing she is... but for my own reasons... for her sake.. i hope shes not.. shes not ready for that responsibility.. at all... but i would love to be the daddy.. and i know i would be.. and thats why i would hope she was... god im prattleing.. im in a VERY strange mood... its a mixture of everything... from irritation to bouncey-hyperness... i wanna go out and just walk and hang out with my friends... but i don't think that's gonna happen... its sunday and most of them are either still asleep.. or loungeing in there underwear today cos its so damn hot.. speaking of which.. my AC went out.. so its now 87* and rising in the hosue.... its 92* and rising out side... and omg... its to much heat for this time of year....not to mention that im horny as hell, sot that just compouinds things even more.. i think im going to go and eat some watermelon.. or find some ice cream...or a cold shower... i'll be back later... Smurf ya Later
I also found out last night that a good friend of mine might be pregnant.. and shes scared out of her mind... she dosen't know what to do.. but she knows im there.. I think i need to really think about what that entails... cos she knows that i'll be there... and afterwhat she said... i find myself hopeing she is... but for my own reasons... for her sake.. i hope shes not.. shes not ready for that responsibility.. at all... but i would love to be the daddy.. and i know i would be.. and thats why i would hope she was... god im prattleing.. im in a VERY strange mood... its a mixture of everything... from irritation to bouncey-hyperness... i wanna go out and just walk and hang out with my friends... but i don't think that's gonna happen... its sunday and most of them are either still asleep.. or loungeing in there underwear today cos its so damn hot.. speaking of which.. my AC went out.. so its now 87* and rising in the hosue.... its 92* and rising out side... and omg... its to much heat for this time of year....not to mention that im horny as hell, sot that just compouinds things even more.. i think im going to go and eat some watermelon.. or find some ice cream...or a cold shower... i'll be back later... Smurf ya Later