[Fic] That Place We Cannot Reach - Chapter 31
Two days before the said week was over, Kame gathered his bandmates and had them sit down around the table to announce them his decision. He had spent many hours thinking and trying to find the solution to the problem, the solution that would please everyone. In the end, he had to give up and admit that there was no such solution. He would have to let one side down.
But he refused to do that as well. What he wanted was to let them understand how important it was for him to go back once more, to explain things on the other side as well. After all the anger, his friends were finally starting to deal with the current situation. The world Kame had created and the people living there deserved an explanation as well.
“I want to go back.”
He said those words with a steady voice and this time, none of them were taken by surprise. They were definitely expecting that statement, even though it clearly didn’t leave them pleased. Kame sat down across them and put his elbows on the table, waiting for a response. When he didn’t receive one, he took a deep breath and continued.
“I made you worry and I caused distress and chaos. And I regret that. I regret that I pushed you away when I was trying to do the complete opposite. I was an idiot who gave into his unsorted feelings instead of trying to put everything in order with your help. But now that I’ve spent time with you again and I’ve been given the time I needed to think clearly, I’ve reached a decision. I have to go back and take care of my duties there.”
“Which means that you’re still not over what happened.” Maru replied and Kame tilted his head.
“Maybe not in the way you mean it. But this is something I created. It’s my responsibility. I need to be there to face the consequences of my actions. I will come back again after the scheduled 3 days. But just like you learned the truth, they have to know as well.”
“You’re right on that.” Ueda stated, drawing circles with his finger on the table. “But this is not the only reason for your need to go back, right?”
“Well…I don’t want us to fight again.” Kame replied quietly. “You know that I want to go back because I miss…those waiting for me. But this time, I want you to trust me. I will clear things out there before I come back, I promise.”
“I trust you.” Junno replied with a small smile. “It’s complicated, you’ve…messed up, but since we decided to make a new start, I decide that I will believe in you.”
“I believe in him as well, but that’s not the point here.” Maru added and Kame nodded. He knew where this would lead to; it was the same question he was posing to himself. Was he going to go back for one last time? Or would he go back and forth again? Was he going to end up just like Juri? Too determined to end this once and for all and then too scared to do it? “The point is, will you still have that bright face you finally showed us this week when you come back?”
“I know what I did wrong. I know what really made me so moody here. You’re not a burden, I don’t ever want you to think like that. This time, I have what it needs to properly balance both worlds and make it out of there sane.”
“Sane?” Ueda repeated with a chuckle. “You’re taking it too far now.”
“In any case…” Kame lowered his head. “I want to go back. Please. That world is my creation, I have to take responsibility for it. They deserve a proper explanation…and an apology.”
“3 days, right?” Junno asked.
“Yes. 3 days.”
“I guess we can try.”
Kame gave them a smile of gratitude and sat back with a small sigh of relief. He had actually expected more conflictions between them; he wasn’t sure he would manage to get their approval so quickly. But maybe the days they had spent together had changed not only him, but them as well. Maybe they were reaching a point where it was ok for them to spend more time alone, if it meant keeping their group and their friendship alive. Or maybe they just wanted to be over with that chapter in their lives in order to be able to walk forward. Whatever it was, it was working and Kame found himself too impatient to go back.
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“There you are.”
Jin looked up from his music sheets and smiled in dejection.
“Were you looking for me?”
“Not me, your…KAT-TUN.” Juri replied, glancing around the room. “Why are the lights off?”
“It’s still bright enough and I don’t want them to distract me.”
“Are you writing a song?”
“I’m done with writing, I just wanted to play it a bit…to calm myself down.”
“…I saw Tackey, and he didn’t look very pleased.”
“Yeah, we were fighting until half an hour ago.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s complaining that Real Face should be in a CD release, but with Kame gone…”
Juri bit his lip. What an irony, Kame holding back KAT-TUN…
“Ok. Just…I only wanted to let you know. I’ll leave you alone now.”
“Is he coming back?” Jin asked before Juri could leave the room. It was getting harder and harder to believe it. After waiting for a couple of days, Juri had finally approached Jin, telling him about everything that taken place before his arrival in this world. He had told him about the 1-week-deal, about how Kame had fought with his friends, about how he would try his best to come back…Jin hadn’t really responded; in fact, he had left the room completely speechless and he hadn’t talked to Juri again. So it was only normal for Juri to be surprised now that he was actually asking about it.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you think?”
“I think…he can make his bandmates see what good he saw in this world. But I can’t tell if that means he’s coming back or not.”
Jin sighed and placed his guitar next to him. He remained like that for a few moments, then grabbed the papers and threw them to the air, cursing loudly. Juri stepped back, his head bumping on the door. It was difficult for him too, but he could tell how frustrated Jin was with the whole situation. Maybe he was also angry with Kame, even though he would probably never admit it…which was a bit normal, but it still didn’t help with the situation.
He mumbled a quiet apology and opened the door, slipping outside slowly. He didn’t want to be present there anymore; it was his last day here. Tomorrow, he would go back, hopefully to a bright present. And he didn’t want Jin’s bad mood to cloud his own sadness. The week he had spent here, aside from the random moments of guilt for what he had done, was one of the best ever since he had first stepped into this world. He wanted to go back and see that Kame had managed to clear things with the others, to see that he could return to Jin without major problems. But that was just one of his wishes, and it wasn’t even the biggest one, so he couldn’t spend the whole day dwelling on it.
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Not knowing when to expect him was actually a bonus for Kame. As much as he was dying inside to go back the moment Juri returned and handed him the rings, he forced himself to be mature and act according to what was right, and not to what his heart was screaming. He spent one more day with KAT-TUN and they rearranged their schedule so that he wouldn’t be needed in any urgent meeting. After he was done with his own responsibilities, he locked himself in his room again and did what he had to do.
And naturally, when he stepped back into his dream world, when he heard his own steps down the familiar corridor, when he saw that other reflection of his younger self in the mirror…it was night again, but this time, no one was waiting for him. It was kinda normal, he had to admit it. Not that he didn’t believe Jin could spend hours out there waiting for him, but he had to have more important things to do, right?
Yet when he opened the door to the room, Jin was still awake, sorting out some papers. Kame didn’t even have to speak and Jin had already turned around with an expression full of hope. When he saw him, he stood up, but didn’t walk up to him. Kame glanced at him in confusion, but Jin still refused to move.
“Are you still going to be there? If I take another step, will you still be there?”
“Jin, what are you saying?”
“I’m not even sure if I’ve fallen asleep or if you’re really back.”
“Jin, I’m here. I’m back.”
“So…is it ok for me to take another step?”
Kame smiled, and instead of replying, he walked up to him and wrapped his arms around his neck, giving him a peck on the lips. Jin was tense at first, but when he finally realized that he wasn’t dreaming, he hugged him back tightly and buried his face in his hair, breathing in his scent hungrily.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t come back…”
“I managed to buy us some time.” Kame confessed quietly, his hands roaming up and down Jin’s back. “I missed you.”
“Me too.” Jin pulled back a bit, only to meet his lips and give him a needy kiss and Kame pushed him back to the desk, pressing his body on his, his fingers sliding down, under his tanktop. He didn’t want to answer to any questions tonight, he didn’t want to face another hardship. He just wanted to be with Jin like this, without words. And it didn’t really look like Jin wanted something different.
“Tell me you’re not leaving again tomorrow.” He heard his voice in his ear and he shook his head with another smile.
“I’m not going anywhere. Bed?”
Jin grinned and lifted him in his embrace, only to practically throw him on the bed seconds later. With a chuckle, Kame reached out to him and pulled him down for a new kiss, his fingers traveling in his hair. Jin then moved lower, to the tender skin of his neck and bit on it gently, smirking at the sound of Kame’s soft groan.
“I hope you didn’t come back only for this.”
“Do you really think I’d do such a thing?”
“No.” Jin shook his head, his eyes searching for Kame’s once. “I know you came back because you missed us. And because you feel responsible for this mess.”
“I am responsible for this mess, but can we not talk about it tonight? You’re the only one I want to occupy myself with right now…”
“I don’t care what happened there, I won’t let you go before those stupid 3 days pass…”
“I’ll be counting on it.” Kame whispered and Jin nodded, keeping himself steady with one hand as the other one made its way to the younger’s zipper, pulling it down carefully. He had missed Kame like this, and he had tried very hard to be understanding, but now that Kame was offering himself to him like that, he couldn’t be meek anymore. His teeth found Kame’s neck again, then moved to his collarbone, and with every new bite, Kame’s breath came out short and greedy. It wasn’t just his body; his heart was also yearning for it, maybe more than the previous time. Maybe more than ever before.
He sat up, almost shaking from the anticipation and the lust, and Jin helped him get rid of his top. Soon, more clothes followed, and then the heated touches came. Both of them were touching and groping like there was no tomorrow, and Kame pressed his lips hard against Jin’s chest, his tongue trailing down to his stomach afterwards. It was his turn to earn a moan from him, and that small victory made his heart jump and his erection grow. Sometimes, he managed to convince himself that it was ok to lock all his needs for sex in the back of his mind or something, but right now, he was only human. And this was his world, he could indulge in it and get carried away.
“Do you need me here?” he let out as Jin pushed him down on the mattress again, pulling his loose pants away from him. He nodded with a weird spark in his eyes and grabbed a fistful of his head, forcing Kame to arch his body and expose more skin to him.
“You have no idea.”
And how nice it felt to hear that…Kame hadn’t planned to turn out so sensitive in front of Jin, especially after he had finally managed to pick up his pieces and make up for the chaos he had created in his own reality, but his emotions had overflowed his body, making him unable to keep a straight face. He closed his eyes as Jin trapped one of his nipples between his lips and his hands reached blindly for his lover’s jeans. He wanted to have him closer, to feel his hot skin against his own, to taste his already sweaty shoulders and then allow himself to become even more aroused. It was weird, he was usually pretty abstemious when he hadn’t done it for a while, but something had changed tonight.
“Take it off.” He panted as Jin’s mouth moved southwards, down to his belly and then even lower, pressing hard against his pelvic bones. “Take everything off, Jin…”
Jin returned to his lips upon hearing that, teasing Kame’s tongue with his own for a bit, but he didn’t let him wait much longer. His dexterous fingers moved to his own jeans, and once he had unbuttoned them, it was only a matter a time before Kame saw them being tossed on the floor. He pulled back, away from Jin, only to sneak under the covers, and Jin followed him with a chuckle.
“Pretty shy, aren’t you?”
“You know that’s not it…”
“I know.”
“Hurry up…”
His hand moved on its own accord, stroking Jin’s manhood over his boxers and the older one bit back a moan. He liked it that way, he liked the way Kame’s hand felt against the fabric and he enjoyed the friction. He let him tease him for a couple of minutes and then grabbed his hands and held them above his head. Kame peered up at him in anticipation and Jin leaned down again and trapped his bottom lip between his teeth, licking and biting in his own flirtatious way. A throaty moan escaped Kame’s mouth, but Jin covered it with his own seconds later, stealing another kiss.
It was amazing, it almost felt magical. Kame had almost forgotten how dizzy and excited those small actions made him. He was writhing under the slightest touch, already moving his hips impatiently. He barely sensed Jin stripping him of the last piece of cloth, his erratic breath on the man’s neck arousing him even more. He was way too lost though to figure out whether Jin was also completely naked or not.
He snapped his eyes open suddenly, when Jin let go of his hands. It was stupid, but for a split second, he was afraid that all of this had just been a dream and that he would wake up alone and miserable. But no, Jin was still there, his face above his, looking at him with passion and tenderness…it brought faded memories in his mind and he wrapped his arms around Jin’s neck, clinging onto him like a kid who didn’t want to get separated from his mother. Jin noticed the sudden change, but he didn’t say a word. Instead, he kissed his forehead and gave him an encouraging look. There was nothing to say anyway; they could communicate without words. They have always been able to do so.
He entered with a slow but steady push, and Kame closed his eyes again, bringing their faces close once more for another, reassuring kiss. There was a fight taking place inside him; a fight that was hurting him, but he didn’t want it to stop. Making it stop meant choosing a side. Jin, the Jin he always wanted was here, with him…but Kame’s true self was waiting for him in reality and he couldn’t allow his sexual gratification to take that away from him…
But Jin’s thrusts soon became faster, and he found that spot that drove Kame crazy, and every sane thought of his jumped out of the window. He held tighter onto Jin, trying to match his pace. There was no more talking between then; just the sound of breaths that came out shorter and louder as they approached their climax. Kame totally lost control of his own body, Jin’s thrusts driving him closer to the edge. He could feel his lips teasing his earlobe and he knew that he wasn’t going to last long.
Then again, he didn’t really want it to last. He just wanted to feel like this even for a minute. Jin had given him what he wanted, what he had missed badly. It was ok if it was to end now. They had the night to themselves, they could do anything they wanted…it didn’t just have to be sex. He found release seconds later, gritting his teeth so that no sound would escape his lips. The sight of that somehow made Jin even more agitated and after a few more thrusts, he came as well, unwilling to keep his own voice down. He forced himself to remain in the same position until he caught his breath, and until Kame felt safe enough with his own self to let go of him.
When he finally lied beside him, Kame didn’t let him utter a word. He sneaked in his arms and stroked his hair, and when Jin opened his mouth, he put his fingers on his lips with a small smile.
“Can we not? Not for about 10 minutes? I want to properly enjoy this.”
Jin was left with his mouth open for a few seconds, then shrugged nonchalantly and covered them better with the sheets. It wasn’t like he wanted to say anything significant either; he just felt like talking, like words would bring them even closer. But it was ok, if Kame wanted silence…it was ok.
They had many hours ahead of them, anyway. Serious conversations could wait a bit.
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In the end, they didn’t have to say anything. They spent the whole night making love and managed to fall asleep a couple of hours before sunrise. Eventually they were woken up by a loud knock on the door and Maru’s voice.
“Jin, if you manage to be late once more, Tackey will kick us out of the school for good! If you don’t open the door in 10 seconds, I’m coming in!”
Kame groaned and hid his face in the pillow, while Jin frowned and grabbed one of his shoes, throwing it on the door.
“You don’t want to come in right now, so shut up!” he yelled with a hoarse voice. “Give us 10 minutes!”
“…us?” Maru’s worried voice was heard outside the room. “Jin, are you drunk?”
“Get up.” Kame nudged him. “He’s going to find out sooner or later.”
“I wanted to sleep more…”
“Yeah, but it sounds like we have work to do.”
“Jin, who are you talking to?”
This time, Jin growled and stood up, fishing his jeans from the floor. Kame watched in amusement with eyes half-closed, and covered his head with the pillow the moment the door was opened.
“Will I ever get some peace around here?”
“You’re…what are you…oh shit.”
“Yeah.” Jin nodded, giving him a sadistic smile upon seeing his shocked expression. Maru glanced at the bed and then back at him.
“When did-“
“Last night. Can you wait 10 minutes now?”
“…fine.” Maru sighed. “I’ll go tell the others.”
“Good.” Jin closed the door to his face and then turned to look at Kame, who finally let himself laugh from the bottom of his heart and yelped in excitement when Jin jumped on the bed again.
“Don’t even think about it, we’re getting dressed.”
“Won’t we even shower first?”
“If we shower together, 10 minutes won’t be enough.” Kame let said with a warning tone and Jin smirked.
“I’m not that greedy.”
“Yeah, right. Which is why you’re going to get in there first and do no more than 5 minutes.” Kame chuckled and kicked him on the floor. “Hurry up.”
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A/N: Anyone here? *waves* Ok yeah, I'm sorry (again) for the way too long delay. I'm in the middle of exams (hopefully my last, since that's the last semester) and I was also very very confused and frustrated because I kinda lost the point of what I was trying to write. Honestly, this fic has been tormenting me a lot (in a good way of course), because I know how I want to end it, but those in-between chapters are very hard to write XD For those of you who're still here and wondering what's happening, the plot is reaching the end (2 or 3 more chapters are left). I'll do my best now that I have a few days free before my next exam to finish the next chapter as soon as possible^^ Once again, sorry!