Eek . . oooh lordy here we go!!
Hello!!
Its been a werid last few days. Its been an emotional last few days!! I'm Dating shawn and that fact is kind of um . . . hurting other people. So i've been upset for the last few days!!
It seems all I'm good at is hurting people. I'm so sick and tired of having to make decisions based on other peoples feelings and i'm sick and tired of having to choose between people I care about!! Why can't Life be simple? Why can't I just like one person? Why can't i make a decision and not hurt people? Is that my destiny in life is to make other people hurt because i'm selfish? No thats bull because if anything i'm not selfish i'm just plain human!!
God I just wish I wasn't hurting people!! I've cried more over this than I have over my dad leaving.
It was so hard for me yesterday. I hung out with Paul at the mall and I like him a lot . . and I know that me being with shawn is hurting him and thats killing me.
After Paul left I hung out with Jeff. He's my Ex as you all know and He's actually takin it really well. He's been the best about it and we've still got an awesome friendship. I'm so happy about that, but i can still tell that it hurts him too. There will be times when he's looking at me and it looks like he's gunna cry.
So I had to work at 6 until 9 and guess who all hung out together. Paul, Jeff and Shawn!! Yup isn't that great? No it was killing me!! I'd love for them to all be friends and Shawn and Jeff seemed to hit it off . . I don't know about Paul b/c he left before I got off work but I just Geeez!!
So after I got out of work Jeff and Shawn Hung out at my house until around 12:30. Wow I just idk what i'm doing what i'm going to do its just so fucking confusing and i'm dying here!! Just shoot me now and get it over with because I know this isn't going to end pretty!!!!
So to sum it up if you didn't understand my crazy rantings . . . Jeff had me, Paul wants me and Shawn has me . . . and I care for all of them!!! Why can't life just be easy???
Its been a werid last few days. Its been an emotional last few days!! I'm Dating shawn and that fact is kind of um . . . hurting other people. So i've been upset for the last few days!!
It seems all I'm good at is hurting people. I'm so sick and tired of having to make decisions based on other peoples feelings and i'm sick and tired of having to choose between people I care about!! Why can't Life be simple? Why can't I just like one person? Why can't i make a decision and not hurt people? Is that my destiny in life is to make other people hurt because i'm selfish? No thats bull because if anything i'm not selfish i'm just plain human!!
God I just wish I wasn't hurting people!! I've cried more over this than I have over my dad leaving.
It was so hard for me yesterday. I hung out with Paul at the mall and I like him a lot . . and I know that me being with shawn is hurting him and thats killing me.
After Paul left I hung out with Jeff. He's my Ex as you all know and He's actually takin it really well. He's been the best about it and we've still got an awesome friendship. I'm so happy about that, but i can still tell that it hurts him too. There will be times when he's looking at me and it looks like he's gunna cry.
So I had to work at 6 until 9 and guess who all hung out together. Paul, Jeff and Shawn!! Yup isn't that great? No it was killing me!! I'd love for them to all be friends and Shawn and Jeff seemed to hit it off . . I don't know about Paul b/c he left before I got off work but I just Geeez!!
So after I got out of work Jeff and Shawn Hung out at my house until around 12:30. Wow I just idk what i'm doing what i'm going to do its just so fucking confusing and i'm dying here!! Just shoot me now and get it over with because I know this isn't going to end pretty!!!!
So to sum it up if you didn't understand my crazy rantings . . . Jeff had me, Paul wants me and Shawn has me . . . and I care for all of them!!! Why can't life just be easy???