Alive

[chacokisses1]

I'm bleeding like I've never bled before
I'm shedding skin but I don't feel sore
sometimes it's the only thing that gets me by.

I an real, I am fake.
I can't change for my own sake.
If I don't sleep, I'll never wake,
I won't wake up, no I'll never breathe again.

Giving in and letting go,
the memories, they never flow
in a comprehensive matter.

The walls are bleeding,
I hear them screaming,
and everything begins to splatter.

Let me tell you how I feel, let me tell you what I see,
but the words I need, they aren't coming to me.
I need you to be, I need you to need,
I need you to be the one who needs me.

You warm my hands, tell me all you can,
leaving out the worst for your own sake.

truth doesn't exist when all you know is lies.

could you tell me how you feel?
what you want? what you need?
could you tell me you need me?

can you show me all the things that I refuse to see?

could you break me down?
spin me round? shake the ground?
could you keep me around?

when I float away could you hold me down?

I ask questions not knowing answers
I'll never know what you're going to say
or at least, what you're not afraid to these days.

the words cower in your head and only the brave ones escape.

I need to know you're weak, I need to hear you're weak.
the words you've never said are spinning in my head,
but I need to hear them from the mouth next to me

for them to be real.

your words are lukewarm,
I wish they'd burn.
or maybe even scold.

to show me that I can feel the weight of them,
instead of letting them pass over my head.

or maybe we're both just dead.