!!
Wow, i haven't updated in almost three months. It's hard to imagine! I've been sooo busy! Working working working. I hate money...but you need money to live and to do anything. So...i must make it! I started a new job at Fiddleahead Farms in Somersworth. I'm a cashier. I like it...much better than Home Depot. Being a sales specialist at Home DePOT was not a suitable job for me. We didn't quite mesh! I pretty much dreaded going to work. Now...of course that's pretty normal becuz it's not like people like going to work...but ya know i dreaded it more than usual. Anyway...i don't mind work at Fiddlehead's. I'm still working at Curves too and that's pretty good for the most part.
I am planning on moving out by the end of January. I will be moving to an apartment in Dover. It will be central and that'll be good because i won't b using much gas since everything will be located right there conveniently for me. It won't be like where i'm living now...out in the boonies. I'm excited for the changes that will take place. I hope it will be an eventful move and one filled with much growth.
It's amazing what life sometimes hurls at you. Sometimes it feels like i'm in a warzone and i'm doging land mines or something. I probably shouldn't compare my life to that though..because i have never experienced being in a warzone (nor do i wish to). I'm sure what the soliders have to go through in those times are much worse than i can imagine. But analogy wise...that's how it sometimes feels. Like an emotional warzone so to speak. Always being careful as to where to step...and when you step on a land mine KA-BOOM! Thankfully..unlike in reality...most of the times the pains from emotional landminds can be fixed.
It's so hard when you're fighting so hard to keep something and it feels like it's just not quite good enough. It's always one step behind. It's so emotionally exhausting and painful when you're giving your all and you want so badly for the person to see how much you care and they just don't grasp it. Because they are too far beyond emotional distress and despair and heartache to even entertain the idea that someone could care so much to protect and give their all to keep them alive. And then after all of that and standing right by there side until they are atleast calmed down...that i didn't do this or didn't do that. And from then on for the rest of the night nothing i do is right and every little thing i do or don't do is taken the wrong way and causes another argument and then stabs my heart causing me to cry causing them to ger angry because i'm crying, causing me to get defensive and feel like crying even more becuz they are getting angry.
Anyway, main thing is...we get over it and can start over. So that's always good.
Christmas is this coming weekend...that;s crazy ! It came soo fast! It jus like snuck up. I'm short on the dollaz but i'm sure it will still be a great Christmas none the less. Seeing as it's not about the gifts anyway and i'm just happy to spend time with my sis and fam. all of us together. and being able to see friends that i don't really get to see during the normal yeaR...since most of you are off to college. I'm thankful for the new pple that i have met this past year tho. Especially Mike. :) He's brightened many of my days and comforted me many a time. MUAH
Anyway, i'll try to update again soon...hopefully it won't be another 3 months...i don't expect it to be tho! Anyway...lots of love to you all and a
VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR...
I am planning on moving out by the end of January. I will be moving to an apartment in Dover. It will be central and that'll be good because i won't b using much gas since everything will be located right there conveniently for me. It won't be like where i'm living now...out in the boonies. I'm excited for the changes that will take place. I hope it will be an eventful move and one filled with much growth.
It's amazing what life sometimes hurls at you. Sometimes it feels like i'm in a warzone and i'm doging land mines or something. I probably shouldn't compare my life to that though..because i have never experienced being in a warzone (nor do i wish to). I'm sure what the soliders have to go through in those times are much worse than i can imagine. But analogy wise...that's how it sometimes feels. Like an emotional warzone so to speak. Always being careful as to where to step...and when you step on a land mine KA-BOOM! Thankfully..unlike in reality...most of the times the pains from emotional landminds can be fixed.
It's so hard when you're fighting so hard to keep something and it feels like it's just not quite good enough. It's always one step behind. It's so emotionally exhausting and painful when you're giving your all and you want so badly for the person to see how much you care and they just don't grasp it. Because they are too far beyond emotional distress and despair and heartache to even entertain the idea that someone could care so much to protect and give their all to keep them alive. And then after all of that and standing right by there side until they are atleast calmed down...that i didn't do this or didn't do that. And from then on for the rest of the night nothing i do is right and every little thing i do or don't do is taken the wrong way and causes another argument and then stabs my heart causing me to cry causing them to ger angry because i'm crying, causing me to get defensive and feel like crying even more becuz they are getting angry.
Anyway, main thing is...we get over it and can start over. So that's always good.
Christmas is this coming weekend...that;s crazy ! It came soo fast! It jus like snuck up. I'm short on the dollaz but i'm sure it will still be a great Christmas none the less. Seeing as it's not about the gifts anyway and i'm just happy to spend time with my sis and fam. all of us together. and being able to see friends that i don't really get to see during the normal yeaR...since most of you are off to college. I'm thankful for the new pple that i have met this past year tho. Especially Mike. :) He's brightened many of my days and comforted me many a time. MUAH
Anyway, i'll try to update again soon...hopefully it won't be another 3 months...i don't expect it to be tho! Anyway...lots of love to you all and a
VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR...