(no subject)
Its December, and i just finished the 1st semester of my sophemore year. funny thing is, sooo many things have already changed. i have seen an entire other side to people, and some for the good, while most for the bad. i moved in an apartment with 3 of my best friends. and while 2 of them are still my best friends, the 1 that was supposed to be my true has definitely become distant. that damn phrase, "if you move in with your best friend you wont be best friends anymore" is so true. not only that, but some of my other friends have become so distant. one has turned into a tool, while the other got a girlfriend and basically shut out all his old friends which sucks, because i was one of them. i cant say im totally content with where i am right now, because im not. still being treated the same by guys and im so sick of it. im so tired of guys not taking me seriously. im tired of it. none of my guy friends take me seriously, they barely even treat me like im a girl. i know ive always been more of a guys girl, like i prefer to drink beer and watch football and talk about sports. i think the greatest date ever would be to a Cowboys game. but seriously, when they ask me why i dont have a boyfriend i just want to be like, well you wouldnt date me so what makes you think other guys will? but whatever. i have literally gotten to the point where i dont try anymore, at all. i gave it a shot again this semester and got shot down waay to many times to give it another go around. so im just gonna stick with what i do best, and thats hanging out with my friends, drinking beer, watching football, and of course playing golf. but, im sure we will see how long this lasts. i have been so edgy lately too, especially with my close friends and i dont mean to be that way, but i get so frustrated about little things and i hate that i do. i never say anything about it, i just hope my retarded feelings pass over so that way i dont cause anything bad to happen because of my stupid thoughts. like, im glad its christmas break, but at the same time, im kind of ready for the semester to start back up already. dont get me wrong, i love the holiday season. but since im staying here in Denton most of the time, i sit on my ass. i would go back home, but i barely even hang out with my friends there anymore (not like i got really close to them anyways). and i love my family to death, but they are only 30 minutes away from me, so i dont have to spend my entire time with them. honestly, i just want something fucking exciting to happen. im sick of the same ol same ol. sitting and waiting for some douchebag guy to come around, waiting for the next big party to happen, waiting for my friends to come around and be like man i am so sorry for being such a douche....i just need something new, different, EXCITING. uuuhhhh yah we will see if that happens.