When I was younger, it was generally imparted on me that I was somehow broken and needed to strive to be "normal." To fit in. So I worked hard to find stability in myself and my life, and got to a place of profound health and well-being (better than even THEY imagined)...and discovered that a good majority of the people around me, including those ( Read more... )

A computerized bike is on--feet on the pedals, pushing, circling, increasing the tempo to increase the speed. Legs move like pistons, accelerate, work against the resistance. Then finally, the pace begins to slow. Before the bike can come to a motionless rest, the feet and legs suddenly withdraw, leaving the bike spinning on its own accord. The ( Read more... )

I watched "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" for the first time, late last night/early morning.

Memory is an eccentric creature. Most of the time mine lays dormant in the corner of some dark cave, hibernating and gathering moss. I never go visit. I used to live in that cave, and I'm already way too familiar with it's slimy nooks and crannies.

But ( Read more... )

Looking at words from the past is weird. When I was younger I violently criticized my past self, but at this point I feel a benign, funny curiosity towards my own history. I don't know many people who have shifted this much. Each point on my timeline is distinct, marking a very clear moment in a very specific chapter of my life. It's like ( Read more... )

This is the bread I make most weeks:


( Read more... )

It's like my current life aspiration is to become an alcoholic.

I shouldn't say that. It's flippant, a joke...nowhere near reality since I have a glass or two of wine with dinner a few nights a week. But compared to the teetotaler I was a few years ago, it's a sharp turn in the pattern of my life. A distinct change from the person who always needed ( Read more... )