Fifth and Final No
Title: Fifth and Final No, Jayne's Song
Series: Finding
Sub-Series: Five Times No
Characters: Jayne/River, Mal, crew
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post-BDM, five years after Miranda, after Fourth No.
Disclaimer: Firefly owns me, I own words
Notes: Finally!!! It is done, the Five No's are done! For the prompt so kindly, patiently waited for by
bookaddict43 . She is the soul of patience! And a great gal too! And for
jaynedancing for asking how it would go if Jayne lost control on Mal, so I went down the path to see it happen. The lyrics are by Jim Steinmann, sung by Meat Loaf, my guilty pleasure. This is a song arc that hopefully will flow more smoothly. Concrit is much appreciated.
All Jayne/River stories are in the same storyline no matter when they appear.
Five No's Organizational Post
Had to split into two posts... lj being tweaky. Part Two
Jayne’s Song
I’m in the middle of nowhere
Near the end of the line
But there’s a border to somewhere waiting
And there’s a tankful of time
Oh give me just another moment to see the light of the day
And take me to another land where I don’t have to stay
~*~
Later:
She stroked his brow, felt the dryness of heat burning the moisture from his skin. He was still, movements all slowed to unnatural quiesscence. Time had wrought its damages on them all but when she had these minutes of quiet with him after another crisis she savored the hope watching him just be gave her.
He dreamt of her, saw her as all the things that the daytime hid. When he slept he could see that his daylight decisions were driven by old nightmares and banked fires flaring at winds that gusted past. Trembling, he grasped for her, paws where hands usually were. He smelt the oak and apple scents that misted on the dampness coating him. Heat burned them to dryness within moments.
~*~
Earlier:
“Jayne! We got a job, need you to be armed up and ready.” Mal barked down into the bunk. Rolling over with an irritated grumble, Jayne took in the time on the alarm. He rolled onto his back, pillow pulled down over his face, cursing muffled by the fabric. He had fallen into restless sleep three hours earlier, knew he needed to get more sleep than that. The hollering of Kaylee and Simon had kept him up until midnight, then River curling into his arms, burrowing down to find peace kept him up until 2:00 am in the deepest part of dark night. When Inara docked at 2:30 he popped awake again. Her shuttle latches clanged loudly through the near silent ship.
River woke at 5:00, eyes wide and worried. He tightened his arms around her; spooned her against him when she stirred. She had never been able to come awake after a bad dream without him waking as well.
“What is it xiâo que? To early ta be getting’ up…” he mumbled into her hair.
“Nightmares… Reavers.” She whispered, her mouth against his arm, trying to not cry out loud.
He held her, breathed through her hair. “No Reavers here now… will do what we always do when we see ‘em.”
She snuffled, smiled a little at his confidence. Knew it was mostly sleepy musings. His warmth flooded her, made even her feet feel the heat of comfort. She smiled again, let her nightmare drift away and dozed back to sleep, dreaming of flying over landscapes of green. Watching her night’s protector haunt all the dark recesses, keeping her safe to soar.
Mal’s orders jerked Jayne to consciousness somewhat faster than he preferred, not to mention the Captain’s penchant for scheduling jobs at the crack of dawn. To be fair it was 8:00 am, but it was still far earlier than Jayne would have chosen. He liked a chance to go and scout a drop zone before an exchange. See what the environment would offer for help or hindrance.
“Come on crazy person, wake up.” Jayne nudged River gently as he scooted out of bed. Drew his pants up as he stood, belt buckled and armed up before she even stirred.
“Come on now, Mal’s gonna be all manner a’ put out as it is… gotta be gettin’ goin’ now.” He grumbled less kindly as he pulled his shirt over his head, voice muffled through the cotton.
“Waking requires a systematic restart of all conscious sequences.” River mumbled sleepily.
“Don’t got time fer that, gotta skip a few steps.” He tossed her pants and a blousy shirt on her head and climbed out of their bunk without a backward glance.
The mule ride was tense with unsaid words and uncomfortable thoughts. Mal knew Jayne and River shared the nights, shared the guarding of his back, shared more than he truly conjured he would ever understand. All three things and more made him antsy when they were on a new planet. Uncertain of who he would be dealing with.
Back on the ship, Simon and Kaylee were having some kind of fight about Core versus Rim as far as Mal could figure and that was an argument he wanted no part of. Inara had been taking Advocate’s jobs where they presented themselves; flying Serenity in the Black. She had told Mal he was being a stubborn jackass as he recalled for not automatically thinking that she should be their back up pilot. He hadn’t gotten that far in his thinking when she had surprised him with her logic. Course, her being logical actually fit with her demeanor most times. Zoë was the only one on the ship who wasn’t making Mal near to pulling his hair out.
Job was bound to go sour with all the tension surrounding the crew, River could feel it past her contentment at having finally broken through to Jayne and found the man inside. Even Jayne was a swirl of messiness. His usual unreadablity was still revealing more than River had seen in her closest forays. It worried her and made her skin itch. Mal’s barely concealed nervous cheek twitch made her nerves jangle.
Jayne watched the tree line for hidden dangers as they sped to town where their contact had promised to meet them for a hello and ‘Let’s get a look at each other’ greet. He felt River tensing and relaxing next to him. Her body shifting from ready alert to what he thought of as her meditative state and back again.
Zoë drove while Mal fidgeted quietly. They all knew this wasn’t going to go well. When the bullets exploded against the side of the mule and Zoë slung the little hovercraft into a blocking maneuver they all reacted instantly with return fire. None of them were even surprised.
Mal shot anyone he could see, exasperated. River sighted quietly down the length of the elegant barrel of a beautiful 30 aught six rifle Jayne had outfitted with a shoulder guard to reduce recoil for her. Zoë drove like a woman possessed. Jayne had his LeMat in his left, Vera cradled on his right hip. Both iron weapons sang with more joy than the rest of them could muster… An oddly out of balance fight where two guns showed the most investment in the action.
~*~
“What the gorramn hell was that back there!” Mal nearly shouted at Jayne.
“Weren’t nothin’ a good recon wouldn’t a found.” Jayne barked back as he threw another bundle of wrapped weapons down from the mule to Zoë’s waiting hands. The cargo bay smelled of moist vegetation and cordite. The firefight had followed them home after the initial shoot out and retrieval of the merchandise.
“That ain’t what I’m talking about and you ruttin’ well know it!” Veins on Mal’s forehead stood out in pure hostile anger.
“Job’s done, what’s it matter how?” Jayne snarled back.
“Matters cause you near got us all killed with that maneuver of yours, throwing Albatross back into the mule in the middle of negotiating.”
“They were gonna turn on ya anyways Mal. Not exactly unusual.” Jayne turned away dismissively.
Mal grabbed the big man’s shoulder and spun him back around brusquely. “I wasn’t done.”
“Yeah, well I was.” Jayne snapped back.
Mal’s right fist started a path upwards that was blurred to anyone watching. Jayne felt his head snap back, heard the crunch of his teeth before he felt the bloom of pain behind his eyes. Reaction took over and he was on the smaller man without reflection.
Kaylee shrieked first as the two men tumbled against the mule, the machine rocking wildly in the air above her head. Zoë dropped the package she had been stowing as she heard the unmistakable grunt of Mal when he was hit.
Zoë called for Simon curtly, “Doc, we’re going to have a need for your services soon.”
Unusually for Mal he had no comments to make in the forth and back of blows the men were exchanging. More worrying than that was Jayne’s total lack of expression. Neither Mal nor Jayne acknowledged anyone else. They were both intent on the other.
“Simon, might want to be hurrying just a touch.” Zoë called as she kept trying to get a sense of the flow of the fight. An ebb and flow of blows and grunts punctuated the circling of the combatants. These were men Zoë had fought beside for years, had brawled with and been in firefights too innumerable to count. This was the first time they were going at each other with seriousness, barehanded. And she had never been more certain that one of them would end up dead.
Zoë wished dearly for River to be present, knew the young woman was the only one on the ship who could snap Jayne back to awareness. But River had gone with Inara to misdirect pursuers from town. It was just her, Simon, and Kaylee.
“SIMON!” She called louder as Mal started to droop, forearms not coming up as quickly to block blows aimed to his head, legs trembling from repeated efforts at maintaining his balance against the onslaught of all of Jayne’s force and unexamined will. Mal’s years of brawling had not been a match for Jayne’s size and experience doing the same.
Zoë snapped up a length of pipe, close enough to being a bludgeon and tried to find a break to swing in and attempt to drop Jayne. Simon finally appeared, auto-injector in hand. “Got that filled Doc.?” Zoë asked, slightly out of breath without having been able to slip in to deliver a single blow to the dangerously out of control mercenary.
“Yes, but I need to get skin contact to dope him.” Simon’s eyes flitted back and forth between Mal and Jayne.
“I’ll get you in, but you gotta be ready, won’t get a second chance once we get involved.” Zoë had seen that Jayne was totally focused on Mal, had ignored her moving around them. He was intent on one thing only. Killing Mal with his bare hands.
Zoë stepped in, shifted under a wild swing from Mal pushing up and sideways with her shoulder to move Mal out of the path of the pipe she swirled crushingly against Jayne, missing his head, catching him in the shoulder instead.
~*~
Now:
A wordless bellow of pain split the air, sound crushing against his nerves. Jayne shrugged off the attack and doubled around Zoë, pinning Mal against the swaying mule. Wordless, he pummeled Mal, fists crunching against skin, bone and muscle with no regard for damage.
Mal slipped bonelessly down the slope of the mule’s sidewall. Zoë half tackled Jayne as he reached down towards her fallen Captain. Simon leapt in close, over Mal and emptied the auto-injector into the big man’s arm.
Jayne twisted around swiftly, sending both Zoë and Simon sprawling. He reached back around to haul Mal back up by the collar. Almost upright, he swayed, dropped Mal again. Floundered against the mule, shaking his head, hands grabbing the side-rail for support. A bestial growl passed his lips as he pushed himself brusquely around to lunge towards Simon and Zoë. They manage to scramble out of the way as Jayne finally fell heavily to the deck.
~*~
River cried out loud, voice thin and scared before grabbing Inara by the shoulder, stopping their progress through a crowded market. “We must return… crisis has erupted from unexpected quarter…”
“River? What is happening?” Inara was concerned; River, five years after Miranda, was not prone to sudden outbursts in public. She had remade herself after the horror of the Reaver battle into a woman of poise and calm. Had centered herself in the maelstrom of emotions that surrounded them all. Centered herself on Jayne Inara thought with a quirked lip. She had no more time to spare for her curiousities in that regard as River pulled them both through the crowd as swiftly as possible.
“River! Slow down, what has happened.” Inara tried to get answers as they sped down a side alley towards the docks.
“The bear has come free; lions and bears don’t play nicely… need to have their natures gentled by protectiveness.” River blurted out breathlessly as she pulled Inara into a faster run.
The two women made their way to Serenity in minutes; minutes too late to stop the end of the battle that River had sensed.
Jayne was sprawled across the deck, legs and arms akimbo. He had clearly fallen in mid-motion. Mal was crumbled in a heap nearby. Zoë was dusting herself off as she moved to see to her fallen Captain.
Simon was still getting to his feet from near the stairs, face displaying pain and surprise. Kaylee was helping him, arm under his.
Inara stopped in shock as River flew to Jayne’s side. Zoë glanced towards Simon, nodding curtly, “May want to be hurrying a bit their Doc. This here ain’t a picnic.”
Inara shifted into motion at that. Coming to the aide of Zoë and Simon hovering over an unconscious Mal. Zoë glanced up quickly. “Need to be moving him to the infirmary.”
River shook her head when Zoë looked her way. Kaylee went to the younger woman’s side.
“How is he?” Kaylee asked softly, helping River roll the big man onto his back, straightening his legs as they wrestled with his mass.
“Do not know, time stopped moving. Clouds fill all the spaces, banishes awareness.” River cradled Jayne’s head on her lap.
“He just went all crazy-like, weren’t nothin’ any one a’ us could do.” Kaylee knelt down next to River.
“I know. The circling finally spiralled to a center point. No further descent was possible.” River gently stroked Jayne’s brow furrowed in unconsciousness. He groaned softly, more a whisper of a sound than anything audible.
Zoë interrupted them, “We need to be getting’ off this here rock, the Doc will see to him when he’s done with the Captain.”
River nodded, dipped her head to brush her lips over Jayne’s still knotted brow. “I will return to you soon. Stay in the fields, do not go down the paths that lead to choices you are not ready to make yet.”
Kaylee offered a hand for River to get up. “Think he heard you?” The mechanic wasn’t sure what River had meant to with her words, but had gotten used to the odd way the younger woman talked.
“He always hears, knows where to find the places to watch and not be found.”
~*~
He knew he was unconscious, knew he had been within the last breathes of finishing what he had started. He had meant to kill Mal, had meant for the other man to feel the last of his life fade. Part of him rejoiced in cruelness at that thought; more reasonable parts of his thinking made him recoil with recognition of his last straw of sanity fleeing.
Fields and forests spread to the horizon in his dream state. Green swards clothed the soft hollows and hills. He walked, not as a man, but as the bear with bright blue eyes. The bear his xiâo que saw him as. He scented the air, no one was near. It was his own fur brushing past bushes that filled his ears with sound. Except it was silent. If he listened intently enough he could hear leaves rustling in the still air, see the grass growing even as he walked through it.
He sighed, finally calm. The press to fight had left him. He was done. Here he could spend his days in peace. It was tempting to let himself glide into this place. He wanted to be done with the nightmares, the burn of blood in his veins. He wanted to not have to feel anymore.
~*~
Series: Finding
Sub-Series: Five Times No
Characters: Jayne/River, Mal, crew
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post-BDM, five years after Miranda, after Fourth No.
Disclaimer: Firefly owns me, I own words
Notes: Finally!!! It is done, the Five No's are done! For the prompt so kindly, patiently waited for by
bookaddict43 . She is the soul of patience! And a great gal too! And for
jaynedancing for asking how it would go if Jayne lost control on Mal, so I went down the path to see it happen. The lyrics are by Jim Steinmann, sung by Meat Loaf, my guilty pleasure. This is a song arc that hopefully will flow more smoothly. Concrit is much appreciated.
All Jayne/River stories are in the same storyline no matter when they appear.
Five No's Organizational Post
Had to split into two posts... lj being tweaky. Part Two
Jayne’s Song
I’m in the middle of nowhere
Near the end of the line
But there’s a border to somewhere waiting
And there’s a tankful of time
Oh give me just another moment to see the light of the day
And take me to another land where I don’t have to stay
~*~
Later:
She stroked his brow, felt the dryness of heat burning the moisture from his skin. He was still, movements all slowed to unnatural quiesscence. Time had wrought its damages on them all but when she had these minutes of quiet with him after another crisis she savored the hope watching him just be gave her.
He dreamt of her, saw her as all the things that the daytime hid. When he slept he could see that his daylight decisions were driven by old nightmares and banked fires flaring at winds that gusted past. Trembling, he grasped for her, paws where hands usually were. He smelt the oak and apple scents that misted on the dampness coating him. Heat burned them to dryness within moments.
~*~
Earlier:
“Jayne! We got a job, need you to be armed up and ready.” Mal barked down into the bunk. Rolling over with an irritated grumble, Jayne took in the time on the alarm. He rolled onto his back, pillow pulled down over his face, cursing muffled by the fabric. He had fallen into restless sleep three hours earlier, knew he needed to get more sleep than that. The hollering of Kaylee and Simon had kept him up until midnight, then River curling into his arms, burrowing down to find peace kept him up until 2:00 am in the deepest part of dark night. When Inara docked at 2:30 he popped awake again. Her shuttle latches clanged loudly through the near silent ship.
River woke at 5:00, eyes wide and worried. He tightened his arms around her; spooned her against him when she stirred. She had never been able to come awake after a bad dream without him waking as well.
“What is it xiâo que? To early ta be getting’ up…” he mumbled into her hair.
“Nightmares… Reavers.” She whispered, her mouth against his arm, trying to not cry out loud.
He held her, breathed through her hair. “No Reavers here now… will do what we always do when we see ‘em.”
She snuffled, smiled a little at his confidence. Knew it was mostly sleepy musings. His warmth flooded her, made even her feet feel the heat of comfort. She smiled again, let her nightmare drift away and dozed back to sleep, dreaming of flying over landscapes of green. Watching her night’s protector haunt all the dark recesses, keeping her safe to soar.
Mal’s orders jerked Jayne to consciousness somewhat faster than he preferred, not to mention the Captain’s penchant for scheduling jobs at the crack of dawn. To be fair it was 8:00 am, but it was still far earlier than Jayne would have chosen. He liked a chance to go and scout a drop zone before an exchange. See what the environment would offer for help or hindrance.
“Come on crazy person, wake up.” Jayne nudged River gently as he scooted out of bed. Drew his pants up as he stood, belt buckled and armed up before she even stirred.
“Come on now, Mal’s gonna be all manner a’ put out as it is… gotta be gettin’ goin’ now.” He grumbled less kindly as he pulled his shirt over his head, voice muffled through the cotton.
“Waking requires a systematic restart of all conscious sequences.” River mumbled sleepily.
“Don’t got time fer that, gotta skip a few steps.” He tossed her pants and a blousy shirt on her head and climbed out of their bunk without a backward glance.
The mule ride was tense with unsaid words and uncomfortable thoughts. Mal knew Jayne and River shared the nights, shared the guarding of his back, shared more than he truly conjured he would ever understand. All three things and more made him antsy when they were on a new planet. Uncertain of who he would be dealing with.
Back on the ship, Simon and Kaylee were having some kind of fight about Core versus Rim as far as Mal could figure and that was an argument he wanted no part of. Inara had been taking Advocate’s jobs where they presented themselves; flying Serenity in the Black. She had told Mal he was being a stubborn jackass as he recalled for not automatically thinking that she should be their back up pilot. He hadn’t gotten that far in his thinking when she had surprised him with her logic. Course, her being logical actually fit with her demeanor most times. Zoë was the only one on the ship who wasn’t making Mal near to pulling his hair out.
Job was bound to go sour with all the tension surrounding the crew, River could feel it past her contentment at having finally broken through to Jayne and found the man inside. Even Jayne was a swirl of messiness. His usual unreadablity was still revealing more than River had seen in her closest forays. It worried her and made her skin itch. Mal’s barely concealed nervous cheek twitch made her nerves jangle.
Jayne watched the tree line for hidden dangers as they sped to town where their contact had promised to meet them for a hello and ‘Let’s get a look at each other’ greet. He felt River tensing and relaxing next to him. Her body shifting from ready alert to what he thought of as her meditative state and back again.
Zoë drove while Mal fidgeted quietly. They all knew this wasn’t going to go well. When the bullets exploded against the side of the mule and Zoë slung the little hovercraft into a blocking maneuver they all reacted instantly with return fire. None of them were even surprised.
Mal shot anyone he could see, exasperated. River sighted quietly down the length of the elegant barrel of a beautiful 30 aught six rifle Jayne had outfitted with a shoulder guard to reduce recoil for her. Zoë drove like a woman possessed. Jayne had his LeMat in his left, Vera cradled on his right hip. Both iron weapons sang with more joy than the rest of them could muster… An oddly out of balance fight where two guns showed the most investment in the action.
~*~
“What the gorramn hell was that back there!” Mal nearly shouted at Jayne.
“Weren’t nothin’ a good recon wouldn’t a found.” Jayne barked back as he threw another bundle of wrapped weapons down from the mule to Zoë’s waiting hands. The cargo bay smelled of moist vegetation and cordite. The firefight had followed them home after the initial shoot out and retrieval of the merchandise.
“That ain’t what I’m talking about and you ruttin’ well know it!” Veins on Mal’s forehead stood out in pure hostile anger.
“Job’s done, what’s it matter how?” Jayne snarled back.
“Matters cause you near got us all killed with that maneuver of yours, throwing Albatross back into the mule in the middle of negotiating.”
“They were gonna turn on ya anyways Mal. Not exactly unusual.” Jayne turned away dismissively.
Mal grabbed the big man’s shoulder and spun him back around brusquely. “I wasn’t done.”
“Yeah, well I was.” Jayne snapped back.
Mal’s right fist started a path upwards that was blurred to anyone watching. Jayne felt his head snap back, heard the crunch of his teeth before he felt the bloom of pain behind his eyes. Reaction took over and he was on the smaller man without reflection.
Kaylee shrieked first as the two men tumbled against the mule, the machine rocking wildly in the air above her head. Zoë dropped the package she had been stowing as she heard the unmistakable grunt of Mal when he was hit.
Zoë called for Simon curtly, “Doc, we’re going to have a need for your services soon.”
Unusually for Mal he had no comments to make in the forth and back of blows the men were exchanging. More worrying than that was Jayne’s total lack of expression. Neither Mal nor Jayne acknowledged anyone else. They were both intent on the other.
“Simon, might want to be hurrying just a touch.” Zoë called as she kept trying to get a sense of the flow of the fight. An ebb and flow of blows and grunts punctuated the circling of the combatants. These were men Zoë had fought beside for years, had brawled with and been in firefights too innumerable to count. This was the first time they were going at each other with seriousness, barehanded. And she had never been more certain that one of them would end up dead.
Zoë wished dearly for River to be present, knew the young woman was the only one on the ship who could snap Jayne back to awareness. But River had gone with Inara to misdirect pursuers from town. It was just her, Simon, and Kaylee.
“SIMON!” She called louder as Mal started to droop, forearms not coming up as quickly to block blows aimed to his head, legs trembling from repeated efforts at maintaining his balance against the onslaught of all of Jayne’s force and unexamined will. Mal’s years of brawling had not been a match for Jayne’s size and experience doing the same.
Zoë snapped up a length of pipe, close enough to being a bludgeon and tried to find a break to swing in and attempt to drop Jayne. Simon finally appeared, auto-injector in hand. “Got that filled Doc.?” Zoë asked, slightly out of breath without having been able to slip in to deliver a single blow to the dangerously out of control mercenary.
“Yes, but I need to get skin contact to dope him.” Simon’s eyes flitted back and forth between Mal and Jayne.
“I’ll get you in, but you gotta be ready, won’t get a second chance once we get involved.” Zoë had seen that Jayne was totally focused on Mal, had ignored her moving around them. He was intent on one thing only. Killing Mal with his bare hands.
Zoë stepped in, shifted under a wild swing from Mal pushing up and sideways with her shoulder to move Mal out of the path of the pipe she swirled crushingly against Jayne, missing his head, catching him in the shoulder instead.
~*~
Now:
A wordless bellow of pain split the air, sound crushing against his nerves. Jayne shrugged off the attack and doubled around Zoë, pinning Mal against the swaying mule. Wordless, he pummeled Mal, fists crunching against skin, bone and muscle with no regard for damage.
Mal slipped bonelessly down the slope of the mule’s sidewall. Zoë half tackled Jayne as he reached down towards her fallen Captain. Simon leapt in close, over Mal and emptied the auto-injector into the big man’s arm.
Jayne twisted around swiftly, sending both Zoë and Simon sprawling. He reached back around to haul Mal back up by the collar. Almost upright, he swayed, dropped Mal again. Floundered against the mule, shaking his head, hands grabbing the side-rail for support. A bestial growl passed his lips as he pushed himself brusquely around to lunge towards Simon and Zoë. They manage to scramble out of the way as Jayne finally fell heavily to the deck.
~*~
River cried out loud, voice thin and scared before grabbing Inara by the shoulder, stopping their progress through a crowded market. “We must return… crisis has erupted from unexpected quarter…”
“River? What is happening?” Inara was concerned; River, five years after Miranda, was not prone to sudden outbursts in public. She had remade herself after the horror of the Reaver battle into a woman of poise and calm. Had centered herself in the maelstrom of emotions that surrounded them all. Centered herself on Jayne Inara thought with a quirked lip. She had no more time to spare for her curiousities in that regard as River pulled them both through the crowd as swiftly as possible.
“River! Slow down, what has happened.” Inara tried to get answers as they sped down a side alley towards the docks.
“The bear has come free; lions and bears don’t play nicely… need to have their natures gentled by protectiveness.” River blurted out breathlessly as she pulled Inara into a faster run.
The two women made their way to Serenity in minutes; minutes too late to stop the end of the battle that River had sensed.
Jayne was sprawled across the deck, legs and arms akimbo. He had clearly fallen in mid-motion. Mal was crumbled in a heap nearby. Zoë was dusting herself off as she moved to see to her fallen Captain.
Simon was still getting to his feet from near the stairs, face displaying pain and surprise. Kaylee was helping him, arm under his.
Inara stopped in shock as River flew to Jayne’s side. Zoë glanced towards Simon, nodding curtly, “May want to be hurrying a bit their Doc. This here ain’t a picnic.”
Inara shifted into motion at that. Coming to the aide of Zoë and Simon hovering over an unconscious Mal. Zoë glanced up quickly. “Need to be moving him to the infirmary.”
River shook her head when Zoë looked her way. Kaylee went to the younger woman’s side.
“How is he?” Kaylee asked softly, helping River roll the big man onto his back, straightening his legs as they wrestled with his mass.
“Do not know, time stopped moving. Clouds fill all the spaces, banishes awareness.” River cradled Jayne’s head on her lap.
“He just went all crazy-like, weren’t nothin’ any one a’ us could do.” Kaylee knelt down next to River.
“I know. The circling finally spiralled to a center point. No further descent was possible.” River gently stroked Jayne’s brow furrowed in unconsciousness. He groaned softly, more a whisper of a sound than anything audible.
Zoë interrupted them, “We need to be getting’ off this here rock, the Doc will see to him when he’s done with the Captain.”
River nodded, dipped her head to brush her lips over Jayne’s still knotted brow. “I will return to you soon. Stay in the fields, do not go down the paths that lead to choices you are not ready to make yet.”
Kaylee offered a hand for River to get up. “Think he heard you?” The mechanic wasn’t sure what River had meant to with her words, but had gotten used to the odd way the younger woman talked.
“He always hears, knows where to find the places to watch and not be found.”
~*~
He knew he was unconscious, knew he had been within the last breathes of finishing what he had started. He had meant to kill Mal, had meant for the other man to feel the last of his life fade. Part of him rejoiced in cruelness at that thought; more reasonable parts of his thinking made him recoil with recognition of his last straw of sanity fleeing.
Fields and forests spread to the horizon in his dream state. Green swards clothed the soft hollows and hills. He walked, not as a man, but as the bear with bright blue eyes. The bear his xiâo que saw him as. He scented the air, no one was near. It was his own fur brushing past bushes that filled his ears with sound. Except it was silent. If he listened intently enough he could hear leaves rustling in the still air, see the grass growing even as he walked through it.
He sighed, finally calm. The press to fight had left him. He was done. Here he could spend his days in peace. It was tempting to let himself glide into this place. He wanted to be done with the nightmares, the burn of blood in his veins. He wanted to not have to feel anymore.
~*~