Comments | ceslas: Prompt: Shot

ceslas

Prompt: Shot

May 05, 2007 22:32

Title: Shot
Series: Finding
Sub-Series: Firefly 100 series that follow Aftermath
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post-BDM
Characters: Jayne/River
Disclaimer: Firefly owns me, I own words
Notes: 100 words drabbles that grew from one to two to.... I credit
( Read more... )

finding, firefly100, jayne/river

Comments 11

razycrandomgirl May 6 2007, 02:49:32 UTC

and it leaves me wondering... I can't wait for the next prompt. woohoo!
Oh I found this song today it said to me
"River/Jayne" .... from her perspective. I want to send it to you but I'm all worried about if the singers voice will annoy you. I know you dig a specific sound ... But I think it's nice. -hopes-

ceslas May 6 2007, 02:52:14 UTC

Wonderin' os good >:0) Bein' as how this is between Aftermath and Five Kisses... well, may not be an easy road, but you know they get down it...

Love to hear what song you are thinking of...

razycrandomgirl May 6 2007, 03:47:58 UTC

Sent. :-) hope you find something in it.

ever_obsessed May 6 2007, 13:37:38 UTC

Ah... I loved the helpless feeling here, the quickly twisting tenseness, and the feel of his point of view, straight and sort of fragile at the same time, if that makes any sense. God, you make me look bad - so perfect, seriously, especially the use of 'trickle' and 'whisper,' and the inability to withdraw, terrifying by itself.

ceslas May 7 2007, 02:35:28 UTC

Oh darlin'! It is comments like yours that spur writers to try to achieve more! I cannot tell you how grateful I am to your always excellent pulling to the fore of elements that I hoped were effective!

bookaddict43 May 6 2007, 13:53:20 UTC

Poor Jayne not being able to move. But poor River too with her thinking it all her fault :(

ceslas May 7 2007, 02:32:51 UTC

It is so soon after Miranda, that River is still trying to integrate real with past, present and future... I hope this will end up linking to the beginning of Five Kisses eventually. Jayne needs to go through his darkness to get there, so this will be challenging to navigate effectively... Thanks for all you do to support that!

romanceguru May 9 2007, 05:31:42 UTC

Wow, you can completely feel Jayne's impairment and his frustration at being trapped inside his own head. Very nice. : )

ceslas May 10 2007, 02:00:02 UTC

Thank you! That means alot from you... I am glad the frustration came through. Jayne is not a man who can settle being trapped...

universal fiddle2 June 15 2007, 15:32:08 UTC

There is a wonderful universal truth here...that in giving in, letting, new possibilities emerge. In Jayne's case he has to be crushed to be able to allow it. Even more interesting in River's case, you show her desire to be direct, not the ultra compressed, fast speed, ethereal, but the woman - honest and present. The whole world, from the Alliance to her brother WANT her so badly...your instinct about why it is Jayne...that she trusts someone who does not have ulterior motives, only deep, interior ones...that seems on the mark to me, dear rider/writer.

Re: universal ceslas June 21 2007, 06:06:01 UTC

In Jayne's case he has to be crushed to be able to allow it. Even more interesting in River's case, you show her desire to be direct, not the ultra compressed, fast speed, ethereal, but the woman - honest and present.

Wow, nice description of the road they are taking, willingly or not.

Indeed, what I think I find the most attractive, the most desireable about Jayne is his internal spaces, the way the 'verse has crafted a place inside him that is stable, strong and receiving, and he doesn't know it at all. She seems so drawn to that, a moth to a flame, magnet to lodestone.