(no subject)
I wonder how long it will take me to all this through my head? How long before I don't automatically think it's him when I see a text message come on my phone? Then have to remind myself it can't be. It never will be again. I'd say the hurt starts all over again. But it has not stopped, so that does not work. How long before I DON'T manage to find almost every lyric of a song that reminds me of him. How long before I can actually go more than 5 minutes without him popping back into my head for some reason, and have to fight the tears. Because people don't know how to handle me like that. I have to be happy go lucky Jo...
I have had two modes this last week. Either I just clam up and can't say a damn thing. Close off from everything in order to deal with it and give them the jo they want.. Or I start talking and can't seem to shut up. Everything just comes pouring out. Sorry Teresa. heh. But thanks for being there....
I just got my computer back again last night. I went on myspace and found a friend request from his best friend in Germany. She and I have now spent the last 24 hours trying to say so many things, and not really getting ANY of it out. heh. And we keep apologising and saying that the other probably thinks we are nuts. It would be comical in any other setting.
But it is nice... She is a part of him. And we both have a lot of the same emotions. She seems sweet. MAybe some good, another friendship can come out of this... We will see.
I have had two modes this last week. Either I just clam up and can't say a damn thing. Close off from everything in order to deal with it and give them the jo they want.. Or I start talking and can't seem to shut up. Everything just comes pouring out. Sorry Teresa. heh. But thanks for being there....
I just got my computer back again last night. I went on myspace and found a friend request from his best friend in Germany. She and I have now spent the last 24 hours trying to say so many things, and not really getting ANY of it out. heh. And we keep apologising and saying that the other probably thinks we are nuts. It would be comical in any other setting.
But it is nice... She is a part of him. And we both have a lot of the same emotions. She seems sweet. MAybe some good, another friendship can come out of this... We will see.