Someday I'll Explain
I make this mistake all the time, where when I know something, so long as I'm not keeping it a secret, I assume that everyone else knows. I make this mistake where if something stays the same for long enough, I don't feel the need to say it. I have this silly, stupid impression that small things mean as much to other people as they do to me, that the way I hold eye contact, or the way I phrase something makes my intention clear. I always think, when I brush around a subject, when I imply it with this or that statement, that everyone else understands. I am honest in every way that it is possible to be, and I keep nothing a secret, but there are many things that I leave unsaid. Sometimes I think things are better, less hurtful or more meaningful, when they are unsaid.
I'm wrong. People don't understand me, don't notice my thousand wordless declarations of love. I'm not delicate, my love is casual, hard to hurt, doesn't take a lot of tending. But I am sensitive to the mundane things, and I make the mistake of thinking that this or that gesture speaks as loudly to other people as it does to me.
And in those mistakes, I've hurt the two people who I love most.
I'm wrong. People don't understand me, don't notice my thousand wordless declarations of love. I'm not delicate, my love is casual, hard to hurt, doesn't take a lot of tending. But I am sensitive to the mundane things, and I make the mistake of thinking that this or that gesture speaks as loudly to other people as it does to me.
And in those mistakes, I've hurt the two people who I love most.