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The Fifth Myth of the Creation
It started as a game among the cats. In the era before the Great Conglomeration, when felines ruled the never-ending-dark, a moment of mischief occurred inside the cracks between the various Realms of Real Places. This fleeting incident of rascality, deemed insignificant by the perpetrators, is what brought about the fifth creation of the world.
The chief instigator of the mischief was a cat who went by the nominal description of ‘fat-face-long-claws’. He had been, by all accounts, thoroughly bored - which, it should be noted, is deeply unhealthy for any feline species. (As an aside to this story, we would recommend that you keep a particularly close eye on your pets from now on.) As a result of this aforementioned ennui, fat-face-long-claws dared black-feet-sharp-teeth to hide short-tail’s beloved collection of porcelain mice. Black-feet-sharp-teeth, being in possession of the proper quantity of feline pride, was quite unable to decline the challenge, and less than two minutes later the newly-appropriated porcelain mice were being employed as chess pieces. This is generally the moment that the infamous Dare Game of the Cats is said to have begun.
To say that short-tail was unimpressed would not cover the extent to which his fury spiralled across the never-ending-dark - in fact, the ferocity of short-tail was later described by eyewitnesses as the embodiment of a nuclear-powered fur ball. In spite of this legendary ire, short-tail was a notorious coward. A previous incident with a dog and a lawnmower had not only left him the unfortunate designation of ‘short-tail’, but also a terrible fear of both confrontation and lawnmowers. Interestingly, the history books suggest that the dog was forgiven.
Being such a coward, short-tail didn’t seek his own retaliation. Instead, he dared tortoise-face-little-claws to eat the offending chess board - a challenge that delighted tortoise-face-little-claws, who was perpetually seeking out new types of food.
Fat-face-long-claws, who had been on the verge of winning his third successive game, was thoroughly affronted by this turn of events. With barely a hesitation, he dared tortoise-face-little-claws to swallow the porcelain mice.
Not long after this had occurred, short-tail took a pair of nail clippers to fat-face-long-claw’s right paw. Short-tail painted the clippings black and hung them from a string around his neck.
It was then that fat-face-long-claws stole a lawnmower from the nearest Realm of Real Things and chased short-tail to the very edge of the never-ending-dark. Short-tail may or may not have deserved this, but either way, it didn’t take him long to come up with an appropriate act of revenge - he dared tortoise-face-little-claws to eat the offending lawnmower. Tortoise-face-little-claws was only too delighted to oblige.
You may or may not be aware of this, but it is a well-documented fact that cats have an exceedingly short attention span. Following the unfortunate demise of the lawnmower, both fat-face-long-claws and short-tail were content to shake tails and proceed with their regular schedule of sofa-time and sleep. Nothing more was said between either of them with regard to the Dare Game.
Tortoise-face-little-claws, however, was not so fortunate - and it is to him that the cause of the Fifth Creation is attributed. It has been reported that lawnmowers are not designed for general feline consumption - although tortoise-face-little-claws had displayed a remarkable level of cluelessness in this respect. Some twenty-two minutes after the end of the Dare Game, he began to feel remarkably questionable. Another ten minutes passed, and tortoise-face-little-claws began to expand entirely uncontrollably. His mewling protests were both futile and increasingly difficult to understand.
The fifth time the world began, it was born amidst the explosion of an over-full cat. The two-legs who came later would refer to this moment as the Big Bang. Tortoise-face-little-claws, however, would not refer to it as anything at all, and seconds before his demise, he had the terrible thought that the lawnmower hadn’t even tasted particularly good.
Read the rest of Cemetaria:
The Graveyard: One | Two | Three | Four | Five
The Library of Myths: The First Myth | The Second Myth | The Third Myth | The Fourth Myth | The Fifth Myth
The Traveller's Tales: One | Two | Three
The Second Library of Myths: The First Myth | The Second Myth | The Third Myth | The Fourth Myth | The Fifth Myth
It started as a game among the cats. In the era before the Great Conglomeration, when felines ruled the never-ending-dark, a moment of mischief occurred inside the cracks between the various Realms of Real Places. This fleeting incident of rascality, deemed insignificant by the perpetrators, is what brought about the fifth creation of the world.
The chief instigator of the mischief was a cat who went by the nominal description of ‘fat-face-long-claws’. He had been, by all accounts, thoroughly bored - which, it should be noted, is deeply unhealthy for any feline species. (As an aside to this story, we would recommend that you keep a particularly close eye on your pets from now on.) As a result of this aforementioned ennui, fat-face-long-claws dared black-feet-sharp-teeth to hide short-tail’s beloved collection of porcelain mice. Black-feet-sharp-teeth, being in possession of the proper quantity of feline pride, was quite unable to decline the challenge, and less than two minutes later the newly-appropriated porcelain mice were being employed as chess pieces. This is generally the moment that the infamous Dare Game of the Cats is said to have begun.
To say that short-tail was unimpressed would not cover the extent to which his fury spiralled across the never-ending-dark - in fact, the ferocity of short-tail was later described by eyewitnesses as the embodiment of a nuclear-powered fur ball. In spite of this legendary ire, short-tail was a notorious coward. A previous incident with a dog and a lawnmower had not only left him the unfortunate designation of ‘short-tail’, but also a terrible fear of both confrontation and lawnmowers. Interestingly, the history books suggest that the dog was forgiven.
Being such a coward, short-tail didn’t seek his own retaliation. Instead, he dared tortoise-face-little-claws to eat the offending chess board - a challenge that delighted tortoise-face-little-claws, who was perpetually seeking out new types of food.
Fat-face-long-claws, who had been on the verge of winning his third successive game, was thoroughly affronted by this turn of events. With barely a hesitation, he dared tortoise-face-little-claws to swallow the porcelain mice.
Not long after this had occurred, short-tail took a pair of nail clippers to fat-face-long-claw’s right paw. Short-tail painted the clippings black and hung them from a string around his neck.
It was then that fat-face-long-claws stole a lawnmower from the nearest Realm of Real Things and chased short-tail to the very edge of the never-ending-dark. Short-tail may or may not have deserved this, but either way, it didn’t take him long to come up with an appropriate act of revenge - he dared tortoise-face-little-claws to eat the offending lawnmower. Tortoise-face-little-claws was only too delighted to oblige.
You may or may not be aware of this, but it is a well-documented fact that cats have an exceedingly short attention span. Following the unfortunate demise of the lawnmower, both fat-face-long-claws and short-tail were content to shake tails and proceed with their regular schedule of sofa-time and sleep. Nothing more was said between either of them with regard to the Dare Game.
Tortoise-face-little-claws, however, was not so fortunate - and it is to him that the cause of the Fifth Creation is attributed. It has been reported that lawnmowers are not designed for general feline consumption - although tortoise-face-little-claws had displayed a remarkable level of cluelessness in this respect. Some twenty-two minutes after the end of the Dare Game, he began to feel remarkably questionable. Another ten minutes passed, and tortoise-face-little-claws began to expand entirely uncontrollably. His mewling protests were both futile and increasingly difficult to understand.
The fifth time the world began, it was born amidst the explosion of an over-full cat. The two-legs who came later would refer to this moment as the Big Bang. Tortoise-face-little-claws, however, would not refer to it as anything at all, and seconds before his demise, he had the terrible thought that the lawnmower hadn’t even tasted particularly good.
Read the rest of Cemetaria:
The Graveyard: One | Two | Three | Four | Five
The Library of Myths: The First Myth | The Second Myth | The Third Myth | The Fourth Myth | The Fifth Myth
The Traveller's Tales: One | Two | Three
The Second Library of Myths: The First Myth | The Second Myth | The Third Myth | The Fourth Myth | The Fifth Myth