Age of Bronze
I just read the first two volumes of Age of Bronze. Um...well...Eric Shanower obviously did do a lot of research. He really tries hard to include all the super obscure details of Trojan War mythology that most people are totally unaware of, like Theseus kidnapping Helen and Agamemnon killing Clytemnestra's first husband. And the art is sexily accurate to bronze age Mediterranean archaeology. Achilles has a BOAR TUSK HELMET. I fucking love boar tusk helmets. And all the men wear those super attractive Minoan kilt things.
Also, there is Achilles/Patroclus. So, you see, I really WANT to like it.
The problem is that the dialogue is fucking terrible. Like, really bad. The characters all sound like they're in a modern soap opera.
Exhibit A:
Achilles: Is that you Patroclus?
Patroclus: Yes. Achilles?
Achilles: Yes. What are you doing out here?
Patroclus: It's too hot to sleep. And I've been thinking...
Achilles: About what?
Patroclus: Well...about leaving Skyros.
Achilles: Leaving! Why? You can't go!
Patroclus: Achilles, the way Lycomedes looks at me...and Deidamia, she's so...Look, you know as well as I do that no one wants me to stay.
Achilles: I do! I...
Patroclus: What?
Achilles: I, uh...
Patroclus: WHAT?
*Achilles kisses him*
So, +100 points for Achilles and Patroclus making out, but -1,000,000 for having them sound like a couple of college bros trying to decide whether or not to stay the weekend in Tahoe. I mean, possibly I'm overreacting because I spend a lot of time reading heroic speeches in dactylic hexameter, but I find this unpleasantly jarring.
Also, Achilles' hair color is wrong, which is bizarre considering the level of accuracy otherwise. I'm not going to lie, Mr. Shanower's Achilles with long dark is pretty attractive. In fact, he looks a lot like the Prince of the Lilies fresco, which is what I'm guessing his character design is based on. But Achilles' hair is supposed to be REDDISH-GOLD. This is not a difficult fact to discover. The whole point of calling him Pyrrha when he was disguised as a girl was because his hair is the color of fire (pyr in Greek). Not that Achilles' hair color is like a deal-breaker for me, it's just a weird mistake.
Something that actually bothers me about the plot on a thematic level is the total removal of the gods from the action. In Mr. Shanower's own words:
I've gone so far as to shove the gods offstage--not an original move on my part in retelling this story, it's been in and out of fashion for centuries--but a decision which I think is relevant to this twenty-first century world where so many are quick to look beyond themselves for answers or to assign blame. I've chosen to downplay the supernatural element in order to emphasize the human element.
Please excuse me while I vomit into this trashcan. Again, this is just me, but I find the interaction between divine and mortal identities to be one of the most compelling and profound parts of the Iliad. The tragedy and the beauty of human life are actively exemplified by being shown in opposition to the immortal existence of the gods. Because the gods live forever, none of their actions have irrevocable consequences. When Aphrodite cheats on her husband, the result is some temporary hilarious embarrassment for her and Ares. But when Helen does the same thing, thousands of people die fighting in a epic war. And because the gods have nothing to risk, nothing they do ultimately matters one way or the other. Therefore, although human life is filled with pain, misery, and death, it is humans and only humans who can attain heroic glory, because they have everything to lose.
Also, I like fate as a plot device. No one does Inevitable Tragic Destiny like the Greeks.
But apparently Mr. Shanower does not agree. Well, whatever.
Also, there is Achilles/Patroclus. So, you see, I really WANT to like it.
The problem is that the dialogue is fucking terrible. Like, really bad. The characters all sound like they're in a modern soap opera.
Exhibit A:
Achilles: Is that you Patroclus?
Patroclus: Yes. Achilles?
Achilles: Yes. What are you doing out here?
Patroclus: It's too hot to sleep. And I've been thinking...
Achilles: About what?
Patroclus: Well...about leaving Skyros.
Achilles: Leaving! Why? You can't go!
Patroclus: Achilles, the way Lycomedes looks at me...and Deidamia, she's so...Look, you know as well as I do that no one wants me to stay.
Achilles: I do! I...
Patroclus: What?
Achilles: I, uh...
Patroclus: WHAT?
*Achilles kisses him*
So, +100 points for Achilles and Patroclus making out, but -1,000,000 for having them sound like a couple of college bros trying to decide whether or not to stay the weekend in Tahoe. I mean, possibly I'm overreacting because I spend a lot of time reading heroic speeches in dactylic hexameter, but I find this unpleasantly jarring.
Also, Achilles' hair color is wrong, which is bizarre considering the level of accuracy otherwise. I'm not going to lie, Mr. Shanower's Achilles with long dark is pretty attractive. In fact, he looks a lot like the Prince of the Lilies fresco, which is what I'm guessing his character design is based on. But Achilles' hair is supposed to be REDDISH-GOLD. This is not a difficult fact to discover. The whole point of calling him Pyrrha when he was disguised as a girl was because his hair is the color of fire (pyr in Greek). Not that Achilles' hair color is like a deal-breaker for me, it's just a weird mistake.
Something that actually bothers me about the plot on a thematic level is the total removal of the gods from the action. In Mr. Shanower's own words:
I've gone so far as to shove the gods offstage--not an original move on my part in retelling this story, it's been in and out of fashion for centuries--but a decision which I think is relevant to this twenty-first century world where so many are quick to look beyond themselves for answers or to assign blame. I've chosen to downplay the supernatural element in order to emphasize the human element.
Please excuse me while I vomit into this trashcan. Again, this is just me, but I find the interaction between divine and mortal identities to be one of the most compelling and profound parts of the Iliad. The tragedy and the beauty of human life are actively exemplified by being shown in opposition to the immortal existence of the gods. Because the gods live forever, none of their actions have irrevocable consequences. When Aphrodite cheats on her husband, the result is some temporary hilarious embarrassment for her and Ares. But when Helen does the same thing, thousands of people die fighting in a epic war. And because the gods have nothing to risk, nothing they do ultimately matters one way or the other. Therefore, although human life is filled with pain, misery, and death, it is humans and only humans who can attain heroic glory, because they have everything to lose.
Also, I like fate as a plot device. No one does Inevitable Tragic Destiny like the Greeks.
But apparently Mr. Shanower does not agree. Well, whatever.