The Chronicles of McDonald's Customers
I think Jesse might like this entry - this is my sterotypical binge for the day, just a little something I've noticed in the nine months working at McHell.\
Typical McD Drive-Thru Customers
The Punk: This person believes that he is above everyone, and that he should show no manners and pay no attention or respect to who is taking his order because they're just invisible, indentity-less McDonalds workers.
Confused Parent (Mother or Father): These people have no idea of anything happening in the world around them. Generally driving mini vans and small SUV's, they are most often illiterate, trying to order from sheer memory because they cannot read the menu, much less acknowledge its existence. They are also unaware of the screen next to their car stating what their order is, and after they've ordered three soft tacos with no lettuce and a Whopper, they get on the cell phone to everyone they know and ask if there's anything anyone else wants before they go to Florida for the weekend. These people also tend to take about 5 minutes during a dinner rush to figure out that they want an ice cream cone. In December.
The Infamous Soccer Mom: These women amaze me, as they've hit a revolution: Soccer Moms have evolved to overly huge disel driven SUV's that haul around everything from Karate clubs to Softball to - you guessed it - the soccer team. These women are flustered, drive like a horse that got stung on the ass by a hornet and know exactly what they want because they want those damn yelling creatures out of their precious leather interior designer label Expeditions. Generally, you cannot hear these people because of the decibel level of those damn kids yelling what they want in the background. Soccer Moms sick to the basics, CocaCola with everything, and no one has an opinion because she's tough as steel. In a fit to get the hell out of the drive through cell, these women tend to rear end the person in front of them.
The Crackhead Chick and the Drunk: These people tend to drive through between the hours of 2:30 and 5 a.m. They are tough to understand because they're mostly so high or trashed that they can barely get out coherent words, and generally order around $30 in food for themselves or maybe one other person. Erractically driving, the Crackhead likes to argue with you when you read their order back that Coke and CocaCola are not the same thing in McDonald Land, and generally have a fine dusting of white around their cheeks. The Drunk generally drives a manual transmission, which is not good because after they've run into the wall, taken out their mirror on the window, run over the curb, and nearly taken your arm off while trying to hand you money, they throw it into reverse and wonder why there is a car behind them. Thankfully, these people tend to pass out in the drive through customer parking spots for a few hours.
THE Mom: This woman is vicious, especially during popular Happy Meal Toy times. She has been known to fly off the handle and beat up other customers for a toy for their child, because they've already got 6 of that same one. This woman will fight tooth and nail for whatever her child wants, typically changing her order as many times as her spoiled brat demands. These women typically also drive insanely large SUV's.
The Old Guy: This guy hasn't been to McDonalds in about 30 years or so, and never knows what to order because the menu is too damn far away for his rheumy eyes. He also cannot speak, and when he finally manages to putter up to your window in what is usually a Buick Rendesvouz or some Lincoln heap, he is confounded and probably shouldn't be driving because he looks completely clueless and wonders where he is. These people should be avoided at all times.
The Artsy Chick: These females usually drive VW Beetles or so, with little flowers on their dashboard. They wear berets, and order the most interestingly performed concoctions that I've ever heard of. These people are insanely cool, and should be treated with immense respect due to their courage to a) piss off the grill cooks with thier creations and b) show some individualis. Props to you, Artsy Chicas.
The Scary Old Witch: This person should be shot. She's got rotted out old fangs, smells of formaldahyde, and has threatened to beat you with a cane. This is why all McD employees should be properly equipped with either a pellet gun or a f*ing 30/30.
So Blah!
Typical McD Drive-Thru Customers
The Punk: This person believes that he is above everyone, and that he should show no manners and pay no attention or respect to who is taking his order because they're just invisible, indentity-less McDonalds workers.
Confused Parent (Mother or Father): These people have no idea of anything happening in the world around them. Generally driving mini vans and small SUV's, they are most often illiterate, trying to order from sheer memory because they cannot read the menu, much less acknowledge its existence. They are also unaware of the screen next to their car stating what their order is, and after they've ordered three soft tacos with no lettuce and a Whopper, they get on the cell phone to everyone they know and ask if there's anything anyone else wants before they go to Florida for the weekend. These people also tend to take about 5 minutes during a dinner rush to figure out that they want an ice cream cone. In December.
The Infamous Soccer Mom: These women amaze me, as they've hit a revolution: Soccer Moms have evolved to overly huge disel driven SUV's that haul around everything from Karate clubs to Softball to - you guessed it - the soccer team. These women are flustered, drive like a horse that got stung on the ass by a hornet and know exactly what they want because they want those damn yelling creatures out of their precious leather interior designer label Expeditions. Generally, you cannot hear these people because of the decibel level of those damn kids yelling what they want in the background. Soccer Moms sick to the basics, CocaCola with everything, and no one has an opinion because she's tough as steel. In a fit to get the hell out of the drive through cell, these women tend to rear end the person in front of them.
The Crackhead Chick and the Drunk: These people tend to drive through between the hours of 2:30 and 5 a.m. They are tough to understand because they're mostly so high or trashed that they can barely get out coherent words, and generally order around $30 in food for themselves or maybe one other person. Erractically driving, the Crackhead likes to argue with you when you read their order back that Coke and CocaCola are not the same thing in McDonald Land, and generally have a fine dusting of white around their cheeks. The Drunk generally drives a manual transmission, which is not good because after they've run into the wall, taken out their mirror on the window, run over the curb, and nearly taken your arm off while trying to hand you money, they throw it into reverse and wonder why there is a car behind them. Thankfully, these people tend to pass out in the drive through customer parking spots for a few hours.
THE Mom: This woman is vicious, especially during popular Happy Meal Toy times. She has been known to fly off the handle and beat up other customers for a toy for their child, because they've already got 6 of that same one. This woman will fight tooth and nail for whatever her child wants, typically changing her order as many times as her spoiled brat demands. These women typically also drive insanely large SUV's.
The Old Guy: This guy hasn't been to McDonalds in about 30 years or so, and never knows what to order because the menu is too damn far away for his rheumy eyes. He also cannot speak, and when he finally manages to putter up to your window in what is usually a Buick Rendesvouz or some Lincoln heap, he is confounded and probably shouldn't be driving because he looks completely clueless and wonders where he is. These people should be avoided at all times.
The Artsy Chick: These females usually drive VW Beetles or so, with little flowers on their dashboard. They wear berets, and order the most interestingly performed concoctions that I've ever heard of. These people are insanely cool, and should be treated with immense respect due to their courage to a) piss off the grill cooks with thier creations and b) show some individualis. Props to you, Artsy Chicas.
The Scary Old Witch: This person should be shot. She's got rotted out old fangs, smells of formaldahyde, and has threatened to beat you with a cane. This is why all McD employees should be properly equipped with either a pellet gun or a f*ing 30/30.
So Blah!