VM Fic: What’s So Great About Living, Pt. 1/3 (Logan, Dick, Veronica, and many others) NC-17
Title: What’s So Great About Living, Pt. 1/3
Pairing/Character: Logan, Dick, Veronica, other past and present Neptune residents
Word Count: ~11,500 in total
Rating: NC-17 (sex, violence, language, this one’s got it all, baby!)
Summary: Logan’s past haunts him, but his present may be better than he realizes…
Spoilers: Season 3
Disclaimer: If Rob Thomas lets me borrow them, they will be returned in their current pristine condition.
Notes: This fic starts just after the food court fight in 3.20: The Bitch is Back. Many thanks to angst_driven and clevermonikerr for beta-ing, and helping me out with some tough spots. Feedback is always appreciated!
Happiest of birthdays to love_is_epic! Thanks for being the Queen of Fic Finding Missions and for assisting me in my past (and future) LJ design spazzitude, Ronda. :) For that and more, I bring you post-season 3 fic! Now on to the Logan...
After he strode out of the food court, Logan waited. He was a fan of the dramatic exit, but he assumed she would follow him. Moments earlier, they had shared a Look-a look that had him believing that Veronica would be back in his arms, and in his bed, before the day ended. He waited, planning to catch her coming out the door behind him. But she didn’t. He waited for 10 minutes, then realized she wouldn’t be coming. Not yet.
He went to his car for his books and took the opportunity to remove his blood-stained button-down, glad that he was wearing a t-shirt underneath. His professor already thought he was a screw-up-he didn’t need to look like a serial killer too.
In class though, Logan just watched the clock, barely paying attention to the details he would need to know for the final. When it was over, he bolted out the door to see if Veronica would be waiting for him. She wasn’t outside the classroom, and she wasn’t outside the building. Realizing that his phone’s ringer had been off since his morning class, he yanked it out of his pocket, checked the display, and found that the only message was an hours-old text from Dick telling him about yet another frat party later that night.
Logan sat on a nearby bench and rifled through his textbooks, creating a reason to wait there a little bit longer. As the crowd of students began to thin and his adrenaline high slowly evaporated, he accepted that she wouldn’t be coming. He gathered his things and plodded to his car, calling his roommate on the way.
“Hey-I’m not going to make it to that party tonight. I don’t feel like going out.”
“Fuck, man, I thought you were done moping about your lame love life,” Dick hollered over the background noise of the party already getting started at the frat house. “You need to get wasted or get laid. Preferably both. I’m gonna come to the suite and drag your sorry ass out.”
“No, don’t. I’ll come out tomorrow or something. Just not tonight.”
“You suck, dude.”
“Only if you ask me nicely.” Logan hung up before Dick could respond and got behind the wheel of his Range Rover.
While he certainly wasn’t in the mood for a frat party, he dreaded going back to the empty hotel suite alone. He left the music player off and drove home in silence, watching the sun sink down toward the horizon.
Home, he thought derisively. I’ve been living in a goddamned hotel for a year. I don’t even own a fucking couch. His last house hadn’t been much of a home either: He’d had a couch-seven, actually-but he never remembered feeling comfortable there. Every time he walked in the door, he worried whether his father’s temper or his mother’s drunken sorrow would be waiting for him inside.
Logan actually wasn’t surprised when Veronica left him-he’d come to expect that from the important people in his life. But he’d prayed that she would be different. When he was with her, he could finally imagine having a real home, a real family. The loss of that idea made her absence all the more painful.
The sun was almost fully set as he pulled into the Grand parking lot. As he looked for a space, he kept an eye out for Veronica’s Saturn, even though he was pretty sure it wouldn’t be there. He parked and then checked his phone one last time, even though the ringer had been on since he left his last class. With a sigh, he shoved his keys and phone into his pocket and got out of the car.
The sudden, sharp pain in his jaw made him fall back against his door. Blinking hard, he saw Gorya Sorokin’s battered face swimming in front of him.
“‘Someday’ is today, asshole,” Sorokin growled as he threw another punch. Logan put his arms up to swing back, but they were wrenched forcefully behind his back. As Logan was immobilized by one of his goons, Sorokin pummeled him with his fists and feet, kicking and punching as Logan unsuccessfully tried to duck the blows.
“You should have left things alone,” said the voice behind his ear. “You should have taken a lesson from your bitch girlfriend.”
Logan whipped around to face his second attacker and put his hands around his throat, but a blinding pain in his side made him drop to his knees. Someone kicked him again and he fell face down onto the pavement. He heard laughter and departing footsteps as he put his hand in something warm and wet pooling beneath him.
I’m losing blood, he thought. I need to stay awake. He struggled to stand, but could barely lift his cheek from the asphalt. Trying to shout only made him cough. I should try to stay awake. I should… As the seconds ticked by, the pain began to recede. Logan slowly felt lighter, more peaceful. What am I trying for? There’s nothing for me here anyway. It’s all so hard. It would be easier to just let go…let…go… Logan closed his eyes.
*~*~*~*
“Hello, son.”
Logan froze at the sound of the voice-the voice that sounded so friendly to some, but that hid unfathomable anger. The voice he still heard in his nightmares.
He turned to face his father. “Aaron.”
“Whatever happened to ‘Dad’?” Aaron stepped toward him, arms outstretched.
Logan moved a few paces back. “I like to forget that I’m related to you.”
“Is that any way to treat your old man?”
“Where are we?”
Aaron shrugged. “Does it matter?”
“Well, I know I’m no angel, but I hope I haven’t ended up in the same place as you for eternity.”
His father’s face contorted with rage. “You ungrateful bastard! I gave you everything! Everything! And all you ever gave me was trouble.”
“I’m sorry that beating the shit out of me every week was such a challenge for you.”
“You deserved every one of those beatings. You’re a lazy, smart-mouthed, useless waste of space. You brought them on yourself.”
“I didn’t…”
“It’s all your fault, you know. It was all your trouble at school that pushed your mother to kill herself. And if you weren’t always bringing that slutty girlfriend of yours around the house…” Aaron began moving closer to him. Logan tried to lift his arms to defend himself, but they wouldn’t move.
“You think you can take me? You’re still just a kid. A snotty little brat.”
“Dad…”
“All you’ve brought anyone is pain and suffering.” His father’s face was now inches from his. “Everyone would have been better off if you had never been born.” Aaron’s hands slipped around his throat and began to squeeze…
Logan woke with a gasp and his throat throbbed painfully. He looked around frantically at the white walls, trying to tune out the agitating beeping sound that was boring into his brain. The face of Keith Mars suddenly loomed over him.
“Hey, you’re awake,” Keith said calmly but jovially.
“Mr. Mars,” Logan croaked. His voice was gravelly and it hurt to talk. “What…”
“Don’t try to talk too much yet, son,” Keith said gently, patting him on the shoulder. “They just took the ventilation tube out yesterday so your throat's going to be sore. Here, let me get you some water.” He poured a cup from a pitcher on a nearby table and put a straw into it. Logan tried to reach for it, but couldn’t lift his arms.
Keith held the cup and straw while Logan drank. “That any better?”
Logan cleared his throat. “A little,” he whispered. “Where are we?”
“Neptune Memorial. Do you remember anything?”
The hospital? Logan glanced around the room, taking in the various monitors and their many tubes and wires that were mostly attached to him in some way. He shook his head.
“You were attacked by Gorya Sorokin and his friends in the hotel parking lot. Gorya stabbed you in your right side,” Keith explained.
Logan shifted his weight and tried to look at his side. The hospital gown covered everything, but he could feel the thickness of a large bandage there. He looked at Keith questioningly. “What did he…” He began to cough, and Keith gave him the water again.
He put the cup down and pulled a chair up to Logan’s hospital bed. “Luckily, hotel security saw the attack on the monitors and called an ambulance. You were brought here for emergency surgery.” He paused and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “Son, they had to remove your right kidney.” At Logan’s look of alarm, he added quickly, “But the doctors say you’re going to be fine, as long as you manage to keep the other one.”
“That’s comforting,” Logan rasped.
“It should be, if you knew what you put us through!” Keith chuckled, but even in Logan’s haze, he could tell Keith was just faking the lightheartedness. “After the surgery, you were in a coma for almost two weeks. You finally came out of it yesterday, thank God, but you’ve been asleep since then-they’ve got you on a lot of morphine. You had some cracked ribs that are healing up on their own, and you sprained your shoulder pretty badly too,” Keith added, gesturing to the sling on Logan’s right arm.
Logan blinked at the ceiling, trying to take in all the information. He tried to sit up a little straighter, but between the sling on one arm and the IV in the other, he couldn’t move much. Keith hopped out of his chair to raise the head of the bed, then sat back down.
“The good news, aside from the fact that you’re still with us, is that Sorokin and his friend committed attempted murder in full view of the Grand security cameras, so the whole thing was recorded. The trial isn’t until next month, but they’re being held until then and they’re expected to be put away for a long time. When they were arrested, the cops found drugs and an unregistered weapon in the car.”
A chill ran down Logan’s spine as he realized that Sorokin had also had a gun. Suddenly, getting stabbed didn’t seem so bad.
“Plus, my sources tell me that the Gorya’s mob family has completely disowned him for committing a major crime over a petty grudge between college students-especially when one is something of a public figure like yourself. Too much bad press.”
Logan cleared his throat. “Mob? I guess Veronica wasn’t kidding.”
“She told me why you beat up Sorokin. Son, you can’t keep going around trying to solve your problems with your fists.” Before Logan could respond, Keith continued, “But I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if I was in your shoes.”
Looking down at his hands, Logan noticed that the cuts he’d had on his knuckles from beating up Sorokin, and Piz the day before, were just faint pink lines on his skin. It felt strange, since it seemed to him as though the fights had just happened.
“I don’t think I’ve ever really thanked you,” Keith said.
“For beating a guy up?” Logan asked, his voice beginning to return somewhat. “All in a day’s work.”
“Not just that. You found her in the parking garage after she was drugged-I know her head was partly shaved, so I know what might have happened if you hadn’t gotten to her in time. She kept it from me but I saw the police report.”
Logan looked down guiltily. He had wanted Veronica to tell her dad about that.
“And you went up to the hotel roof last year when Cassidy Casablancas…” Keith paused for a moment and tried to compose himself. “That night could have turned out very differently if you hadn’t been there.”
“She called, I came,” Logan shrugged.
“You always do, and because of that, you saved my little girl’s life. Mine too, because if anything had happened to her…” Keith said hoarsely. “And if I know my daughter, there were probably other times that I don’t even know about. Yet.”
He rubbed his hand down his face. “I’ve been kind of hard on you in the past, but I hope you know that I was just trying to look out for Veronica. It just seemed like trouble was always following you around, and I was afraid for her safety.”
Logan nodded slightly. “I know.”
“But most of that trouble wasn’t your fault,” Keith continued. “You’ve had to deal with way more tragedy than anyone your age should, and I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding about that. I should have tried to help you more instead of throwing you out of my house-you didn’t deserve that.”
“It’s OK.” Logan looked down and picked at the hem of the sheet. “I understand.”
“Son, if you’re ever in trouble again, I hope you know that you can come to me, regardless of whether you and Veronica happen to be dating that week or not.”
“Sure…”
“I mean it,” Keith said emphatically. “You’re a better man than I’ve given you credit for. Better than you’ve given yourself credit for, too, I think. But at the same time, you’re still just a kid. I care about what happens to you and I don’t want anything like this-” he pointed at the monitor tracking Logan’s heart rate “-happening again. You will call me.”
Logan chuckled at the implied threat in Keith’s kind offer. “OK, Mr. Mars.” He remembered the election tomorrow…wait-two weeks ago? “Or should I call you Sheriff?”
Keith smiled ruefully. “No, things didn’t go my way. It’s a long story-let’s just say that trouble tends to follow my daughter around too.”
“Tell me about it,” Logan replied. “Sorry I wasn’t able to cast my vote for you.”
“Well, you had a good excuse, what with the coma and all,” Keith said, a grin spreading across his face once again. “Speaking of Veronica, I’d better go call her and Dick and tell them you’re up. They’re going to be really mad at me.”
“Why?”
“Those two have been taking shifts staying with you-one or both of them has been here almost every minute for the last two weeks. I finally got them to go home and get some real rest by saying I’d take a shift, and that’s when you choose to come back to the land of the living. They’re going to be pissed.”
Logan laughed, and it made him cough a little. “One of them is always pissed at me about something. Trust me, you can’t win.”
Keith chuckled. “I have to go to the lobby to use my cell phone, but I’ll tell the nurses you’re conscious and maybe they’ll bring you some real food.”
“Thanks, Sheriff.”
*~*~*~*
“Duncan?”
His friend turned to face him. “You weren’t supposed to find me.”
“Yeah, you did a great job of making yourself disappear,” Logan joked uneasily. “How’s your daughter?”
“You weren’t supposed to find me,” Duncan said angrily.
“Hey, I won’t tell anyone. I can keep a secret.”
“You’d better.”
Logan was surprised at the threatening tone. “You know,” he said softly, “you could have told me you were leaving. I would have helped.”
“I couldn’t trust you,” Duncan scoffed.
“DK, you can always trust me. We’ve been friends since kindergarten.”
“Until your dad fucked and killed my sister,” Duncan snarled.
“But you know I had nothing to do with that,” Logan stammered. “I wouldn’t…I loved her.”
“So you moved in on the girl I loved the minute I left town and kept it a secret from me. How long was I gone this time before you made your move?”
“I didn’t…she…”
“You were good for a laugh when we were kids,” Duncan said scornfully. “But I wasn’t about to trust you with anything important.” He turned and walked toward a door that appeared nearby.
“Duncan, come on, man. Talk to me. Aren’t you even going to say goodbye?”
The door slammed…
Logan woke with a start to the sound of a metal tray crashing to the floor.
“Fuck!” Dick scrambled to pick up the dishes that had scattered across the tile. “Oh man, sorry I woke you up, dude.”
“It’s OK.” Logan squinted against the room’s bright light, disoriented from his sudden awakening. “What’s going on?”
“Mr. Mars said you woke up so I came over, but you were out cold again. The nurse brought your dinner and I was gonna steal your pudding,” Dick explained matter-of-factly. “But I tripped on the bottom of the tray thing.”
“Stealthy,” Logan whispered.
“At least I saved the pudding.” Dick held up the cup triumphantly and dropped back into his chair. “Too bad the spoon hit the germy hospital floor.” He shrugged, peeling off the lid and dipping his finger in. “You look like shit, dude.”
“Losing a kidney will do that,” Logan said.
“Yeah, that sucks,” Dick said. He held up a pudding-covered finger. “Want some?”
“No, thanks,” Logan said, trying not to recoil too obviously. “Can you just get me that water?” He tilted his head toward the cup Keith Mars had left.
“Oh! Sure,” Dick said, leaping out of the chair. He slurped his finger clean and wiped it dry on his shorts before picking up the water cup. “Here-should I-” He waggled the cup back and forth, not sure what to do.
“Can you hold it for me? Even on a good day, I’m kind of a spaz with my left hand.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Dick held the cup in one hand and the straw in the other, and guided it carefully toward his friend’s mouth. “Good? Is that enough?”
Logan nodded and swallowed. “Thanks.”
Dick put the cup down and slid back into his seat. He picked up the pudding cup and starting eating with his fingers again. “Hey, dude, if you were going to get into it with that guy, why didn’t you call me? I could’ve backed you up.”
“I didn’t exactly plan to go after him,” Logan explained. “We were in the food court, and he was the one who-”
“I know what he did. I got the whole story from Ronnie,” Dick said. “But she said that the guy threatened you. You should’ve let me know.”
Logan half-shrugged. “I didn’t really think he’d do anything. Guess I was wrong on that one.”
“Yeah, you were,” Dick said seriously. “You...I should’ve…” He stopped and stared at the floor.
“What? Come on, man. Talk to me,” Logan said softly.
“I was at some stupid fucking party while you were getting your insides scooped out with a switchblade,” Dick said, his voice breaking. “I should have been there to help you.”
Logan looked at him with concern. “Dick, you couldn’t have known. I didn’t know that fucker was going to try and actually kill me. I’ve had death threats before, but most of them weren’t serious.”
“I’m not joking about this!” Dick said, his eyes filling with angry tears. “I thought we were bros-we’re supposed to have each other’s backs. You’ve always had mine, but you’ve gotta let me have yours too.”
Logan was stunned into silence by Dick’s outburst. While their relationship often seemed based on crude humor and lighthearted insults, Logan knew it was more than that. However, they’d rarely acknowledged it-at least, not when they were both sober. After a moment, he said simply, “I’m sorry, man. I’ll ask for help next time.”
Dick swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “You’d better. I gotta help you stay in one piece. You’re all I’ve got left, asshole.”
Logan smiled. “You always say the sweetest things.”
“Fuck you.” Dick laughed a little, then shook his head as if to rid himself of the excess emotion and his floppy bangs fell over his eyes. He pushed them to the side with a brush of his fingers.
Just then, a nurse entered and saw the remains of Logan’s food on the floor. “I was just coming in to see how you did with your dinner, but it doesn’t look like things went well.”
“My bad, Joanne,” Dick said. “I knocked it over before he could eat it.” The nurse looked at him like he was a naughty schoolboy.
“It’s OK,” Logan offered. “I’m not really hungry. Just thirsty.”
Joanne looked at the water pitcher and said, “I’ll see about getting you some juice then, so we can get a few more calories into you. Your girlfriend keeps telling us that you’re getting too thin. Your whole family has really been looking out for you.” She patted Dick on the shoulder on her way out.
Logan raised an eyebrow. “Family?”
“If anyone asks, I’m your brother-in-law,” Dick explained in a loud whisper. “They only let family or your emergency contacts in the ICU, and since Veronica and her dad are your emergency contacts,” Dick paused to roll his eyes, “we told them I was your family.”
“Good thinking.” Logan held out a weak fist. Dick bumped it with his own as gently as he could manage. “So you finally married Trina. I always hoped you two crazy kids would make a go of it.”
“Sure, why not? She’s definitely my type-hot and bitchy.” Dick waggled his eyebrows. “Speaking of which, Ronnie’s gonna be pissed again.”
“She’s gonna be pissed if you keep calling her Ronnie,” Logan said. “She hates that.”
“Duh, that’s why I do it,” Dick said with quick laugh. “Ronnie and me, we’re good though. We’ve been bonding over your comatose ass. But this time she’s gonna be pissed that she missed you waking up. After Mr. Mars left, she waited in here for a few hours while you were still asleep, but she had to go do something at school.”
He ran his finger around the inside of the pudding cup to get the last of the tapioca out. After licking off his finger, he raised the empty cup over his head and tried to shoot it into the garbage can across the room. It banked off the wall, clipped the edge of the can, then skittered to the floor.
“Damn. So close,” Dick said. He leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on Logan’s bed, folding his hands across his chest and ignoring his friend’s pointed look at the fallen cup.
“So, the nurses think Veronica’s my girlfriend?” Logan asked as nonchalantly as he could.
“It was easier to let them think that than try to explain…whatever it is that you are. Plus, the way she was constantly harping on them about you, I could see why they would think that.”
“Why? What was she doing?”
“Just being generally annoying. You know,” Dick switched to a high, screechy voice. “‘Where are his latest labs? He’s getting too thin! When are you moving him? Why didn’t you tell me you changed his medication? What’s his output?’”
“My output?”
“Your piss, dude.”
Logan made a face. “So glad that was a topic of conversation.”
“Hey, it’s important! Did you know that your kidneys make piss?” Dick asked incredulously.
“I did.” Logan nodded and his friend looked impressed.
“Huh. Look at you, Mr. Pre-Med. Anyway, she’s just stressed, I guess, but she’s not making a lot of friends around here. They fuckin’ love me though. I bring ‘em coffee in the mornings to make up for Ronnie’s bullshit so they don’t kick us out.”
Logan grinned, wishing he’d been awake to witness all of that: Veronica and Dick caring for a comatose patient had the makings of a wacky sitcom. Then his smile faded. “Piz probably isn’t too happy about her spending all her time here.”
Dick shook his head. “Dude! The things you miss when you’re unconscious. The Polack is out of the picture.” He made a “poof” motion with his hands.
“Oh really? What happened?” Logan asked.
“Way to sound casual there, bro. I almost believed it for a half a second,” Dick scoffed. “She wasn’t exactly about to hold hands and share with me, but I know she dumped him that same day after you clobbered that Russian fucker. She was coming over to our place that night and she saw them loading you into the ambulance.”
“Veronica was there?” Logan remembered waiting all day for her to come to him.
“Yeah, and she freaked the fuck out. I could barely understand her when she called me.” Dick sat quietly for a moment. “That was a long fuckin’ night, man.”
“I’m sorry,” Logan said.
“Don’t,” Dick said. “It’s over and you’re gonna be OK.” He glanced at his watch. “Ronnie’s probably done by now-I should call her and tell her to come back.”
Logan shook his head wearily. “I’m getting really tired. Can you just tell her I’m all right, and I’ll see her tomorrow?”
“Will do.” Dick stood up and pulled out his cell phone as he headed for the door.
“Aren’t you even going to say goodbye?” Logan said with a smirk.
“I’m just going out to make the call, but I’ll be back in a few. It’s my night to sleep over.” Dick patted his backpack on the couch in the corner. “Brought my jammies and toothbrush and everything. You need anything before I go? Water?”
Logan shook his head as his eyes started to close.
“Nighty-night, dude,” said his friend.
*~*~*~*
On to Part 2...