You're the Reason, pt. 3: Packing
A/N: Well, we're almost at the point of departure, though not quite. Soon. Honestly, part of the problem is I still haven't figured out what to do with them once they get back to Fairview! lol
“I just don’t understand how you can possibly already be done packing,” Katherine shot at Robin from where she stood at the bed, folding clothes neatly and placing them in one of her many suitcases. “You bought far more clothes and things than I did and still managed to get everything into two bags and two carry-ons. And one of your carry-ons is a purse!” Robin shrugged from the desk chair where she observed Katherine’s harried packing.
“Well, sweetie, you have to remember, my clothes consist of far less material than yours do.” Katherine paused.
“That’s true. I do really enjoy that about your clothes,” she smiled.
“Also, I came with less.”
“Not that much less.”
“Also-“
“- There’s another ‘also’?”
“Well,” Robin hesitated, only beginning again when Katherine finally looked at her expectantly. “Now, you know I love you, all of you, everything about you.” Katherine placed her hands on her hips slowly, her folding and packing completely forgotten.
“Yes?”
“It’s just that, um, you’re a little, you know, OCD.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m just saying, that’s the third time you’ve packed that bag. It’s no wonder it’s taking you so long.”
“Well…” huffed Katherine,” I just want to make sure nothing wrinkles.”
“Katherine, we’re not leaving until tomorrow, and then we’re traveling clear through the next day. Everything’s going to wrinkle no matter how exactly you fold it.”
“But it doesn’t have to.”
“Yes, actually, it does.”
“Well, that’s unacceptable.”
“Katherine! You can’t control everything!”
“Don’t you think I know that?!” Katherine snapped at Robin. A heavy silence hung in the air. Katherine and Robin stared at each other across the space between them. Finally, Robin broke the silence.
“Please don’t yell at me,” he voice quavered a bit with emotion, betraying how much Katherine’s raised voice upset her.
“I’m sorry,” Katherine said as she angrily went back to her packing, folding a pair of pants with unnecessary vengeance.
“What is this really about because it’s certainly not about packing.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Katherine.”
“I don’t know,” Katherine signed in frustration. “I guess I’m just dreading going back a little.”
“Look, if you’re not sure...” Robin trailed off.
“No! No, it’s nothing like that.” Katherine dropped the shirt she was holding and quickly went over to Robin, lifting her face gently until Robin was looking at her. She smiled at Robin tenderly, and Robin returned her smile tentatively. “I am sorry.” Robin’s smile became more sure, and she reached up to take Katherine’s hands in hers.
“What is it, honey?” Katherine looked down at their clasped hands, running her thumbs over the back of Robin’s hands. “Katherine?” Katherine looked back up at Robin.
“I’m… I’m kind of scared,” Katherine’s voice broke as she made her confession, and Robin stood and took the redhead in her arms, tenderly stroking her hair.
“Of what?”
“I don’t know,” Katherine heaved a sigh. “It’s not that I care what they think of me, of us because I love you and want to be with you, and that is all that matters.” Robin squeezed Katherine a little bit tighter.
“I do love to hear you say that.” Katherine pulled back so she could look at Robin.
“What?”
“That you love me.” They smiled at each other then kissed, lingering for just a big. “Katherine, what’s the matter?” Katherine looked up at Robin with tears in her eyes.
“I’m just not sure I know how to be, well, me without that strong, steady front to protect me. Without actively creating and presenting a very certain image of myself to people.”
“What about your breakdown? That didn’t exactly fit this persona you’re talking about.”
“Well, no, I suppose not. But it was directly related to it, it was just the inability to continue it. And when I came out on the other side, all I had to do was go back to the mask to show everyone I was fine. Easy.”
“Easy?”
“Yeah. Well, until you, of course.” Robin laughed, easing some of Katherine’s tension, the way she always did. “And now I’m perfectly happy to just go on, only concerned about what you think of me. That’s fine, more than. I just… don’t know how to act around everyone else.” Robin placed her hand against Katherine’s cheek, running her thumb along Katherine’s bottom lip before kissing her softly.
“Act like you.”
“I’m not sure I know who that is anymore.”
“Are you yourself with me?”
“Yes, of course,” Katherine smiled broadly. “Probably more so than I’ve ever been before.”
“Well, now, correct me if this sounds crazy, but why not be that Katherine with your friends?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why not?”
“It’s just,” Katherine sighed, “it’s just that I feel safe with you, and that’s why I can be me. Because I trust you with me, to take care of me. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to risk entrusting them, too.” Katherine looked up in time to see a tear race down each of Robin’s cheeks, which she quickly wiped away. “What? Did I say something wrong?” Robin quickly kissed her, briefly deepening it before sniffling her tears away. “What was that for?”
“Thank you. For trusting me. For saying I make you feel safe.”
“You do,” Katherine shrugged.
“No one’s ever trusted me with anything before, much less something as important as keeping them safe.” Robin ran her fingers along Katherine’s jaw, down her chin, pausing before kissing Katherine again quickly. “I hope you know that feeling’s mutual.” Katherine smiled.
“I do now.” She took a deep breath. “Robin, what if I’m not strong enough?”
“Then we’ll leave again,” Robin answered. “Look, I already know how committed you are to us. You showed me that by suggesting we leave the first time. If it turns out you can only be this real, true version of you away from Fairview, well, then, we’ll just find someplace else to go where you’re comfortable.”
“What about you? You need to be ok with wherever we go, too. And you like Fairview.”
“True. But I like you better. I’ll be happy wherever you’re happy.” Katherine pulled Robin to her, kissing her fiercely, passionately. When Katherine showed no intention of stopping, Robin finally gently pushed Katherine back slightly. “What about your packing?”
Katherine went over to the bed, threw the remainder of her clothes into her bag, zipped it shut, and threw her bags on the floor. She went back and dragged a laughing Robin to the bed, pushing her back onto the bed and crawling on top of her. Katherine immediately went to work on Robin’s neck, gently sucking, licking and kissing her way up and down its length.
“What about your clothes? They’re going to wrinkle horribly,” Robin managed between gasps. Katherine paused and gazed steadily into Robin’s eyes. A crooked smile graced her lips.
“Guess that’s beyond my control.” Robin managed a short burst of laughter before she was silenced by Katherine once again kissing her deeply, the quickly wrinkling clothes long forgotten.