I think "everyone wants to be there" is an important point, worth calling out from the more general "commonality of purpose". And I had entirely missed "glad that everyone else is there", which does seem important. Thanks.
What are your in-laws criteria for a successful and valuable Seder? And, do you think your presence satisfies those criteria?I think a primary goal is that of family reunion. That makes it important for Dani to be there; I don't know about me. The father-in-law's wife's kids and their families are usually there (one skipped last year), so I guess that's a data point. (Well, they're there on their side of the family's night.) There are people who miss due to juggling multiple families (for example, my sister-in-law is divorced, so her kids aren't always at the same seder she is), but other than that, people come
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(Wow, I see on rereading that the typos were stalking me last night and winning. Sorry 'bout that.)
I suspect that some of them feel intimidated by me. They're Jews because they were born to it but are pretty much secular, and here's this weirdo who chose to join (and not for a socially-conventional reason like marriage) and who actually buys into it (and seems to know a lot). That's got to be a little off-putting to them in and of itself
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What are your in-laws criteria for a successful and valuable Seder? And, do you think your presence satisfies those criteria?I think a primary goal is that of family reunion. That makes it important for Dani to be there; I don't know about me. The father-in-law's wife's kids and their families are usually there (one skipped last year), so I guess that's a data point. (Well, they're there on their side of the family's night.) There are people who miss due to juggling multiple families (for example, my sister-in-law is divorced, so her kids aren't always at the same seder she is), but other than that, people come ( ... )
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I suspect that some of them feel intimidated by me. They're Jews because they were born to it but are pretty much secular, and here's this weirdo who chose to join (and not for a socially-conventional reason like marriage) and who actually buys into it (and seems to know a lot). That's got to be a little off-putting to them in and of itself ( ... )
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