Subtle Changes - Chapter 2 (part 2) - MomoKai
Title: Subtle Changes
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Momoshiro/Kaidoh
Rating: MA
Word count: 58k
Chapters: 1 (part 1) | 1 (part 2) | 2 (part 1) | 2 (part 2) | 2 (part 3) | 2 (part 4)
Summary: They don’t look each other in the eye when they do it.
A/N: Second part. It's a long chapter @_@
“Just come over here already,” Momoshiro whines. He is sitting on his bed facing Kaidoh.
Kaidoh bites down on his lip and frowns at his homework. No, he can’t give into temptation. Momoshiro’s incessant whining won’t sway him anymore. He will be strong, and reject any of his advances or suggestions. After all, Kaidoh’s got homework to do.
But mostly, he’s just a little afraid that Momoshiro might call him gross again.
Just a little.
Not like it really bothers him or something. No, that’s preposterous.
“Come ooon, it’s so late already and I’m about to fall asleep.”
“Then why don’t you go sleep?” Kaidoh responds, deadpan.
“Because!” Momoshiro whines once more. It’s grating on Kaidoh’s nerves. “It’ll ... give me the workout that you told me I need?” he explains hopefully, as if this is reason enough for Kaidoh to engage him.
Well, it might be working. Just a bit. But then Kaidoh remembers what Momoshiro said to him two days ago, then shakes his head and taps his pencil against his notebook. “No, I have homework.” Then, because otherwise it didn’t feel aggressive enough, he says, “And you smell like a dead fish.”
“Fine!” Momoshiro yells. He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Whatever. Not like I wanted to do it anyway. You keep doing your stupid homework.”
Kaidoh rolls his eyes at Momoshiro’s temper tantrum, he can be such an idiot sometimes. “I will.”
“Asshole.”
With that, Kaidoh hopes the argument is settled, and maybe he can actually finish his homework tonight. But knowing Momoshiro, things are never expected; he’s as unpredictable as he comes. Always coming up with these scheming weird plots and just blurting out whatever he feels like it. A stark contrast to the calm and composed Kaidoh, who thinks before he says something. Though when it comes to Momoshiro, he’s probably just as hotheaded as he is. They’ve always been like that. He smiles fondly at the memories they shared together in middle school, getting into so many stupid fights. Heh.
Those childhood memories fade away as soon as Kaidoh hears the rustling of fabric. He perks up his ears, trying not to look over at Momoshiro’s direction, because that would somehow mean he lost the argument or something, so he listens instead. Sounds like Momoshiro’s doing something ... sounds like friction.
“What are you doing?” Kaidoh asks him accusingly, chair turned around to face Momoshiro; he definitely lost.
“What’s it looks like I’m doing?” Momoshiro’s got one hand down his shorts, and it’s moving, stroking the bulge underneath it.
Ew gross-he’s masturbating in front of him? “That’s disgusting,” Kaidoh says.
Momoshiro sticks up his nose, then throws his head back against the wall as he closes his eyes and continues undisturbed. Kaidoh can’t tear his eyes away; Momoshiro is acting completely shameless, no sense of embarrassment at all that he’s doing this directly in front of Kaidoh. Kaidoh finally does pull his eyes away-from his crotch of course-and looks at Momoshiro’s face instead. It’s half covered by the shadows of the room, but like this, when Momoshiro’s eyes are closed, Kaidoh can take the time to look at him without being discovered.
It’s weird, but weird has never held Kaidoh back before, so he studies Momoshiro’s face as it crinkles up in places in tune with his strokes. His eyebrows are stuck in a constant furrow; he seems to be really concentrated on this. His lips are parted slightly, and Kaidoh can hear the breath he takes with them. And when he licks his lips, Kaidoh feels his resolve crumbles to pieces.
The weird mixture of Momoshiro pleasuring himself in front of Kaidoh, while making those ... those ... faces, is actually turning Kaidoh on. Without being touched. This is something Kaidoh should be worried about, but at the moment, he’s kind of focused on Momoshiro right now. Who is there on the bed, touching himself, and Kaidoh wants to be the one to do the touching all of the sudden.
No wait, that’s gross, remember? Kaidoh shakes his head and tries to prevent himself from indulging that odd urge to get up and wrap his own hand around Momoshiro’s ...
No, no-he can’t. Remember last time Kaidoh? What if he just calls him gross again?
Momoshiro is completely oblivious to Kaidoh’s internal struggle, and is determined to keep fondling himself in front of Kaidoh. And pulling weird faces. Oh, and making weird noises. He’s doing it on purpose isn’t he? He’s trying to get Kaidoh to come over and ... and ... it’s working.
So he gets up from his chair, unable to resist the idiot any further. “Dumbass,” Kaidoh says, trying to still keep up the pretense that this is a chore to him. So that Momoshiro won’t know he genuinely wants to.
“Sure took you long enough,” Momoshiro says with a devious smirk once Kaidoh crawls onto the mattress.
Kaidoh doesn’t argue back, instead he lowers his eyes now that Momoshiro is looking at him. No matter how many times they do this, having Momoshiro look at him as he does this is still nerve wrecking. He wraps his fingers around Momoshiro’s wrist, and slowly pulls it out of his shorts. His fingers linger for a bit, slipping away from Momoshiro’s wrist until they touch the inside of his palm, and Kaidoh can feel his adrenaline pumping again. But he quickly retreats them when he remembers Momoshiro finds any sort of touching gross. Then he slips his fingers under the waistband of Momoshiro’s shorts, and when he feels his penis, he grips it, then pulls it out in the open; he gets to work.
Momoshiro’s body is quick to respond to him, and that makes Kaidoh feel satisfied, almost as if he wants to gloat about how much Momoshiro seems to like this. Kaidoh’s the one doing this, Kaidoh’s the one touching him, making him feel these things, making the muscles in his legs tense up, making him claw at the mattress, making him breathe irregularly. And even if Momoshiro is just sitting there, not touching him at all, Kaidoh’s overwhelmed by that pleasant buzzing feeling again. It courses throughout his entire body, and it only becomes stronger.
Kaidoh is a bit amazed by how hard Momoshiro feels in his hand, how he can even feel a slight pulse. Not to mention how much precum Momoshiro is producing; it’s lubricating his entire hand. Kaidoh gets really into it, that he only half hears what Momoshiro says to him.
Huh, what did he say?
Oh, get closer. Right, Momoshiro wants to touch him too.
Wait, he wants to?
An unexplainable flush spreads over Kaidoh’s face, and he moves closer, feeling a lot more daring than before. He positions himself in between Momoshiro’s legs, nudging at them so he spreads them and he can sit down. And then he moves even closer, closer than they’ve ever been before, like Kaidoh’s being pulled by this strange magnetic force. Momoshiro raises his hand, but instead of groping Kaidoh, he pushes it against Kaidoh’s shoulder. There’s not much force there, especially when Momoshiro is so preoccupied as it is, so he ends up just holding onto Kaidoh.
Kaidoh’s heart feels like it’s about to burst out of his throat, it’s racing so fast.
He pumps faster, suddenly feeling energized with a strong and strange power. Momoshiro doesn’t mind, is what Kaidoh’s thinking. He wants to touch him too. He’s not even pulling it away, or calling him gross.
And just when Kaidoh thought this couldn’t get any better, Momoshiro leans forward, almost hesitating, before his forehead bumps against Kaidoh’s. Kaidoh freezes up, even his hand movement stops, and his eyes are wide open, staring at Momoshiro in front of him, whose eyes are closed, but he’s definitely leaning his forehead against Kaidoh’s for support.
Kaidoh doesn’t know what to do. Jerking off had seemed easy-up and down is all you need to know-but now he doesn’t know how to respond. What does Momoshiro suddenly want from him? Does he want to touch Kaidoh ... ?
As Kaidoh dances a little cheerleading routine in his mind, Momoshiro’s hand slips away from his shoulder and falls into his lap, at the same time as his forehead slides down, suddenly going so fast it seems Momoshiro had fallen over. That’s when the cheerleading routine ended with a blast; Momoshiro’s lips brush over Kaidoh’s. His lips zing with a voltage so high, it makes all of Kaidoh’s muscles twitch in response. Then Momoshiro’s lips slide down to his chin ... then his neck ... until he buries his face into Kaidoh’s neck.
Then he snores.
Kaidoh’s body has turned to stone, and his hands and arms-hell his entire body-feels awkward and stiff and inappropriate. Not to mention he feels like he’s on fire.
“... M-Momoshiro?” Kaidoh croaks out.
Momoshiro doesn’t budge, just breathes slowly against Kaidoh’s skin.
Asleep. The dumbass has fallen asleep.
This would have pissed Kaidoh off to no end, except he’s still stuck in that place, with Momoshiro’s half-hard penis still gripped in his hand, and Momoshiro’s lips pressing lightly into the nook of his neck. It’s ... it’s too much. It’s making Kaidoh’s mind spin. Did Momoshiro’s lips really touch his just now? Does that even count as a kiss? They definitely made lip contact … and right now, they’re still touching him, on his neck, and it’s making all of the small hairs stand on end, goosebumps popping up everywhere.
This isn’t right. Momoshiro shouldn’t be ... no, Kaidoh shouldn’t be ... yes, he should push him away and go to bed. The idiot fell asleep. Haha. He can give him hell for it tomorrow, and then it would be a funny memory.
Except Kaidoh doesn’t think it’s funny at all. In fact, he’s feeling things he’s never felt before, and there’s one crystal clear thing going through his mind; Momoshiro’s body feels nice. And then he realizes, he has felt this way before. He’s had Momoshiro’s body against him like this as well, exactly to the way his lips were pressed into his neck.
During their trip to the U-17 camp, which was over four years ago, Kaidoh had to carry Momoshiro around on his back. The idiot had fallen asleep then-something about it being too comfortable-and Kaidoh had to deal with him the entire way like that. Momoshiro’s sleeping body felt warm on his back, and his lips were firmly pressed into his neck, something which made him blush against his own will because it felt weird, but also good, and that made him super awkward about the whole thing. Yet at the same time he was relieved Momoshiro was okay and safe on his back. Kaidoh has always remembered that moment, not because they had gotten into a big fight, not because they were playing a great match, not because Momoshiro said something stupid-no, Kaidoh remembers because back then, he was glad Momoshiro’s hands were hurt, just so he could take care of him and carry him around like this.
Kaidoh secretly likes pandering to Momoshiro.
And this? Where Momoshiro is resting against him again? Just like that one time? Kaidoh feels like he can’t give up this opportunity.
Something stirs up inside of Kaidoh, something warm and fuzzy and it’s sort of fizzling over. His hand lets go of Momoshiro’s now flaccid penis, and instead of using it to push Momoshiro away-to push all of these feelings away-it crawls up Momoshiro’s side until it’s behind his back. Kaidoh snuggles closer to Momoshiro’s body as he embraces him with both his arms, the palm of his hands lay flat against Momoshiro’s back. This feels like something forbidden, something impossible, something dangerous, but Kaidoh’s mind isn’t thinking straight. He’s completely lost to this fluttery current in his stomach. And with Momoshiro asleep right now, Kaidoh is allowed to indulge that feeling he’s repressed so many times before.
He presses his nose into Momoshiro’s neck and inhales his scent, letting out a small sigh afterwards.
Yup, this is definitely creepy.
Any moment now, the gravity of the situation will come rushing back to Kaidoh, and he’ll forever be ashamed of himself.
But not before his lips purse out to touch Momoshiro’s neck, and kisses it lightly.
That’s when reality come back to him. Kaidoh immediately pulls back with a very red face, and puts up his arms as if he’s been put under arrest. Momoshiro’s lifeless body simply slumps up against him even more, and Kaidoh feels like he’s being overrun by a stampede of ants, as his skin is itchy and crawly and the goosebumps just won’t stop. He pushes Momoshiro away and scrambles off of the bed.
Kaidoh takes in deep breaths. He’s panicking, he doesn’t know why he did that. Why? They had rules ... he just broke them ... well technically Momoshiro broke them first-but he continued it. Why did he do that? Why did he ... want to?
“You stupid asshole,” Kaidoh curses against Momoshiro, his voice thick with anxiety.
What did he do!?
Confused and angry at himself at what he did, Kaidoh does what Kaidoh does best; he runs. He runs all night, and doesn’t even get any sleep that day.
oOo
Kaidoh feels like he’s opened Pandora’s box. All of these unexplained feelings have poured out of him, and they won’t stop washing over him each time he thinks of Momoshiro, and what he did to him.
Oh how he wishes he could close that box. To shove it all away, locked to infinity, underneath a dusty bed that no one ever looks under anymore. Push it away to a dark, dark place, because Kaidoh’s going kind of insane with this, this … plague.
But no matter how hard he tries to forget, tries to ignore it, Kaidoh knows what he did-remembers it with perfect clarity, really-and most importantly, he keeps wanting to do it again. Every time he looks at Momoshiro, he just wants to reach out and touch him, to have the tips of his fingers brush over the smooth skin at the back of his neck, to have those lips touch his own again … these disgusting thoughts and aching needs just won’t stop.
And the worst part of it all-or maybe it’s a blessing in disguise-is that Momoshiro is completely oblivious to it. He doesn’t remember what happened that night when he fell asleep. He probably thinks he got a good night’s sleep out of it, he doesn’t know what Kaidoh did. He doesn’t know their lips touched. He doesn’t know that Kaidoh impulsively embraced him, and now he’s stuck with all of these feelings that give him goosebumps each time Momoshiro so much as looks at him.
Stupid idiot. It’s all his fault. If he hadn’t fallen asleep then … then he could have stopped Kaidoh from pushing the no touching rule. Maybe even have called him gross to get him to back off. Yeah. If only he had stayed awake.
Unable to really look Momoshiro in the eye anymore, or even say anything to him, Kaidoh goes out of his way to prevent running into the idiot, and keeps running later and later so that they won’t be alone together in a room. In essence, he’s trying to run away from this melting pot of creepy crawlies in his stomach, and thinks that by just running a lot, this will actually work. He doesn’t know what else to do. So he avoids Momoshiro like he does actually have the plague. It’s because Kaidoh feels like if Momoshiro did that thing with him again, like nothing ever happened, Kaidoh’s carefully constructed wall might crack under pressure. It might just make all of the curses flood out of Pandora’s box with full force. It would be chaos, unexpected, and Kaidoh doesn’t like either of those. He likes the expected, he likes order-and damnit, why can’t Momoshiro just go away and leave him alone? It’s all his fault he’s stuck with these feelings, and he doesn’t even seem to realize what he did.
Kaidoh trains a lot more than usual, filling up all of his free time with running, lifting weights, and more running. He knows he’s literally running away from Momoshiro, sometimes he even ducks behind a potted plant if he spots him in the hallways, but Kaidoh really has no clue what else he can do. If Momoshiro talks to him, Kaidoh might just reveal everything, everything that he did to Momoshiro that night, and everything that’s still bottled up inside of him.
Momoshiro might just find out that Kaidoh is aching to touch him in the most disgusting places, and it’s so wrong, so damn shameful, so Kaidoh can’t let Momoshiro know. He can’t, simply can’t.
Kaidoh is completely disgusted with himself for having these feelings, and at night it’s eating away at him, as Momoshiro sleeps on the other side of the room. So close, yet so far.
It’s one thing to do the thing that they do, Kaidoh can grasp it on a very instinctual level-something primal and hormonal powered. It’s another to have this humming sensation buzz through his entire skin anytime he senses Momoshiro is near him, and he’s filled with this inexplicably need to have Momoshiro closer, to touch him, to feel him, to simply be with him.
Kaidoh simply just doesn’t know what to do anymore. So he ignores Momoshiro, for as long as he can.
He doesn’t know how long that will last, as Momoshiro knows something is up, and this makes Kaidoh even more anxious. What if Momoshiro tries to demand why he’s purposely avoiding him? What if Momoshiro corners him somewhere where he can’t escape? Then he won’t have a choice but to look at Momoshiro, and Kaidoh dreads the day that will happen, as he can’t prepare himself for the unexpected. Everything with Momoshiro always feels like Kaidoh is wading into enemy territory blindfolded. He feels naked and without armour, and Momoshiro is holding all the guns.
Stupid bastard.
Yet, despite all of his running away, and ducking behind furniture whenever Momoshiro is in sight-Kaidoh can’t help but secretly leer at Momoshiro anyway. When his club goes running through campus again, Kaidoh slips away from the group and hides behind the tennis club house. He can feel his heart beat faster, and his mind is screaming at him to let it go, and go back to his club activities, but Kaidoh can’t help but what to see him again. It’s super frustrating, and totally annoying, but Kaidoh’s a puppet to these feelings, and all of his strings are being pulled that he has no control over. So he secretly stares at the tennis club members going about their business.
Then he spots Momoshiro, wearing his regular jacket, and looking extremely pissed off. Kaidoh feels his heart bang repeatedly against his ribcage, almost painfully so, and he feels this flush spread across his cheeks.
What the hell is he doing? Spying on Momoshiro … just how low can Kaidoh go?
He seriously needs to stop this. These stupid goosebumpy feelings should also disappear, at once.
And then suddenly, Kaidoh’s staring right into Momoshiro’s eyes.
He saw him.
Oh fuck.
Flustered like never before (and that includes the time when he had to explain to Momoshiro to ‘do that thing again’), Kaidoh turns beet red and skitters away at hyperspeed-as fast as his feet can take him. Momoshiro gives chase. An alarm rings hard in Kaidoh’s mind, and thankfully, he’s an expert at running, because he easily leaves Momoshiro behind, who just curses at him instead because he can’t catch up to Kaidoh. Thank god Kaidoh loves to run.
When Kaidoh comes to a stop, his heart is still beating a thousand miles per minute; it just won’t calm down at all. Great. Kaidoh’s sure Momoshiro will want to question him on this. That day he dreaded where Momoshiro would confront him? That’s probably today. Kaidoh gulps loudly and tries to empty his mind by running the entire day.
Or at least, Kaidoh kind of wishes it was the entire day, but he’s tired, and he actually does need to get back to his room because he’s still got some notes he needs to read over for a test, and he hates not being prepared for a test. So a little after midnight, Kaidoh finally returns to their dormroom, feeling like he’s dragging lead around, with how heavy his legs suddenly feel. There’s an unpleasant weight rotting in the pit of his stomach that just won’t go away. It’s the anticipation. The anticipation of seeing Momoshiro again, and knowing this won’t end well.
Kaidoh just prays Momoshiro is asleep, since he seems to be good at that.
Carefully, Kaidoh approaches the door, softly turns the handle, and opens the door. It’s dark inside, and for a small moment in time, Kaidoh breathes out a sigh of relief; Momoshiro’s asleep.
That sigh of relief turns into a gasp of surprise when Kaidoh gets flung back at the door, feeling hands grab at his shirt angrily. He doesn’t need to see to know who those hands belong to.
“What the hell Kaidoh! You’re avoiding me!” Momoshiro yells right into Kaidoh’s face.
Uhh, uhh. Kaidoh’s kind of shell shocked here.
For a week he managed to carefully avoid being too close to Momoshiro. His carefully constructed barricade against Momoshiro’s advances held up for a week, and now that idiot came barreling straight through like it was nothing. Kaidoh can already feel it, the surges of feelings threatening to surface and bubble over. It starts pulsating from the point where Momoshiro’s hands are curled around Kaidoh’s shirt, a warm and prickly kind of feeling runs through his chest, down his arms and back, leaving him with this chill crawling down his spine.
It’s been so long. No. He can’t think like that. Kaidoh must prevail, he must remember to ignore these fizzly sensations as much as possible.
“You never come home this late,” Momoshiro growls at him, completely unaware of the effect he’s having on Kaidoh.
Why is it only Kaidoh that’s like this? Why is Momoshiro so damn stupid? Can’t he pick up the giant clue of leave Kaidoh the fuck alone? That’s all he wanted. And maybe, just maybe, Kaidoh would stop feeling so mushy and weird, and then they could act normal again like always.
This? This is far from normal.
“I-I …” Kaidoh stutters. His voice doesn’t want to come out of his throat anymore, aside from embarrassing squeaky noises because he’s feeling squeamish in Momoshiro’s hold.
Then Momoshiro pushes even harder against his chest-his entire body pressing with it, and Kaidoh’s legs suddenly feel like jelly. That’s too much touching! Kaidoh’s mind is like a whirlwind of emotions and contradictions. Contradictions, because one half is telling him he hates being this close to Momoshiro, and the other half is telling him he likes being this close. It’s too damn confusing, and annoying, and Kaidoh’s getting palpitations.
Kaidoh tries to get himself to talk through sheer willpower alone, and it’s working. Sort of. “I … was running.” He manages to sound like his usual grouchy self, or at least he hopes it sounds like it, unlike the ball of nerves he feels on the inside. “A-at the club.” Now if only he could stop making himself shake through willpower, then that would be fantastic. Unfortunately, Momoshiro’s body heat only serves to make him tremble more. Even Momoshiro’s breath that’s so close to his face is making him feel woozy.
Especially like this, in the dark where he can’t see, Kaidoh’s senses are heightened that it’s making everything seem more heart pounding than it really is. Or maybe it’s always been like this.
“Liar. What were you doing at the tennis courts today, huh?”
Well Momoshiro wasn’t supposed to see that! Kaidoh bites his lip and tries to think of a good explanation that doesn’t involve the words spying or stalking. Because he totally wasn’t. However, since he can’t come up with anything, he just growls instead out of frustration, then finally regains the feeling back in his arms, and he tries to pry Momoshiro’s hands off of him. “What’s it to you, asshole!” he fires back, though sounding a lot more confident than he actually feels. He hopes Momoshiro will fall for this confident front.
“When you’re watching me, of course it’s my business to know why!” Momoshiro says.
“S-stupid!” He wasn’t supposed to see that at all! “I wasn’t w-watching you. Dumbass.” Perhaps if Kaidoh can insult Momoshiro a bit more, than maybe he’ll really believe Kaidoh wasn’t spying on him. Maybe it’ll make Kaidoh believe it himself as well. That he never tried to look for Momoshiro, that he never wanted to see his face just because.
But he did. And it’s making his insides feel all syrupy.
Momoshiro tilts his face and leans in closer. Kaidoh sucks in a breath and suddenly holds still , completely afraid of moving as that might open Pandora’s box completely, and he will want to act on his stupid urges. Momoshiro’s so close it’s overwhelming him, it’s making him short of breath because he’s freaking out a bit. Kaidoh turns his head away, afraid it might be written all over his face if Momoshiro looked at him up close like this.
“Then why were you there?” Momoshiro asks.
“B-because the club was running around campus.” That, at least, is not a lie. “Now let me go!” Kaidoh almost pleads. If Momoshiro continues to keep him trapped like this against the door, with their bodies suffocating each other, then Kaidoh might just … he might just …
“No!” Momoshiro presses his knuckles into Kaidoh’s chest even tighter. Kaidoh sucks in a breath of air as he can feel his chest explode in stupid confetti, like there’s a festival being held inside of him, and they’re just about to start the countdown for the fireworks. Kaidoh can’t let that happen-he can’t let Momoshiro even have an inkling of knowing what Kaidoh is feeling, he must control these emotions!
He desperately tries to get away from Momoshiro again, trying his best not to look at him either, as that would simply add fuel to the fire. Don’t look … just don’t look. Then maybe Kaidoh can escape. Escape Momoshiro and these weird creepy vibrations in his stomach.
“Why won’t you even look at me? Are you seriously that pissed off because of last time?”
Kaidoh lets out a puff of air that’s sounds like a cross between annoyance and defeat. That giant anvil floating above Momoshiro’s head-the big fucking clue that Kaidoh was hiding without much success-Momoshiro just completely ignored it. Total obliviousness. Momoshiro wouldn’t be able to read this situation even if Kaidoh had a red blinking beacon strapped to his forehead that displayed everything he was feeling for Momoshiro at the moment.
And for now, Momoshiro’s obliviousness to his inner turmoil is enough for Kaidoh’s blood to run cold, and it’s making his fluttery heart quiet down. Instead he’s left feeling a bit resentful, like Momoshiro isn’t good at picking up hints, like for some reason, he should have, even though Kaidoh’s been trying so hard to hide it, to escape from it. So finally he manages to break free from this idiotic guy who kept him trapped against the door. Kaidoh immediately springs away, fleeing towards the middle of the room while pulling his bandana over his face to cover it.
Frustrated, ashamed, annoyed and slightly jittery-Kaidoh’s heart isn’t sticking to just one emotion. It’s just chaos.
Though, Kaidoh should be glad. Momoshiro’s too much of an idiot to have known, to have sensed the change. He noticed something alright, but apparently he thinks Kaidoh’s pissed. No, he’s not. Well, maybe he is, but he’s pissed off at the way he’s feeling-he’s not necessarily pissed at Momoshiro. Wait, scratch that. He’s always pissed off at Momoshiro. He’s the one that made him feel these weird jumpy feelings in the first place! But … no, pissed isn’t the word he’d use to describe this … this thing. Conflicted, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed-those fit much better.
“No, you idiot. I’m not mad.” Kaidoh sighs and buries his face into his bandana. It’s hard to keep standing up straight, as Kaidoh’s had all of his energy sapped right out of him, just from this brief encounter with Momoshiro’s hands and warm body.
And yet he still secretly longs to feel it again. But that’s disgusting, and gross. He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. Momoshiro is an idiot anyway, why would he want to feel him up like some kind of pervert? Kaidoh’s got standards and morals.
“Yeah right-you haven’t even spoken more than a few words to me in the past week,” says Momoshiro with a snarl. “Obviously you’re pissed.”
Kaidoh snaps. “Shut up! It’s your fault anyway!” He lunges at Momoshiro and roughly shoves him up against the door this time.
“What-how’s it my fault!?” Momoshiro retaliates immediately, never being one to back down from an accusation.
Kaidoh huffs in his face. “You shouldn’t have fallen asleep, you stupid asshole.” There, he said it. After a week of running away from Momoshiro, he’s said it. Momoshiro shouldn’t have fallen asleep, then maybe Kaidoh wouldn’t be stuck here wishing that Momoshiro did it again, so he could secretly hold him.
Kaidoh almost wants to throw up at those disgusting mushy thoughts entering his mind. The close proximity to Momoshiro’s stupidity is messing up his judgement. Suddenly whatever looked like a seriously bad idea last week, doesn’t seem like such a bad idea right now. Especially since Kaidoh’s touching him again, and it’s starting to feel good once more.
And that’s bad. Kaidoh should let go of Momoshiro, but for some reason, his muscles are still tightly clenched, and refusing to budge or listen to him. His body doesn’t want to be separated from Momoshiro again.
“Whatever, I was tired, and it felt good, you can’t blame me for that,” Momoshiro mumbles.
Kaidoh blinks a few times; he’s never heard Momoshiro say anything like that about what they do. He almost wants to ask; does it really feel good for you? Because it feels good for him. Really good. But again, it’s not about that. Kaidoh’s not angry, just terribly confused, and well, getting a bit less confused the longer he stays this close and pressed up against Momoshiro.
“It’s not …” Kaidoh starts, pausing as he tries to formulate his thoughts when they’re being run over by something else, something more heart pounding. Maybe he can still escape these feelings, maybe he can still pull back-it’s not too late, he hasn’t yet done anything out of the ordinary. Picking a fight with Momoshiro is one of the most normal things he could have done, so it’s not too late. Kaidoh hasn’t yet pulled any funny business. He can still salvage the situation. He sighs. “Just don’t fall asleep again,” he warns. Because that might obliterate his defense against Momoshiro completely, and he’d welcome Momoshiro with open arms. And that’s not right.
Kaidoh pushes his fist into Momoshiro’s chest, hopefully this will make him turn back to normal. Maybe his fuzzy feelings will stop. “Dumbass,” he says.
Momoshiro starts to wriggle under his body, and Kaidoh clamps his mouth shut. “Okay, I get it-you wanted some too, fine, here you go, I’m sorry for forgetting you,” he says.
Wait what?
Kaidoh flinches back with a shriek as he feels Momoshiro’s hand reach for his shorts and try to grope him. “W-what are you doing!?” he asks in an utterly frantic voice.
No-he can’t! If Momoshiro … if Momoshiro …! No, he can’t touch him right now. That’s dangerous Kaidoh needs some time alone away from this idiot to clear his thoughts and try to find a way to get rid of this disgusting desire to rub himself all over Momoshiro and make him shut up by covering his mouth with his.
Kaidoh’s eyes grow large. His thoughts are getting weirder! Did he seriously just think about kissing this stupid foul mouthed idiot whose hand seems to be stroking Kaidoh through his shorts!?
“Ah,” Kaidoh chokes out, frazzled at the sudden contact, and the weird thoughts messing him up. “What are you …” he says again, but this time, his bite has disappeared. He’s tired of holding back, Kaidoh can’t seem to anymore, as his body wants to do nothing more than to surrender to these sensations, and to focus on the warmth that’s spreading around inside of him as Momoshiro’s hand gets stronger and more dominant.
“What’s it looks like? Here, I’ll do you as an apology for falling asleep last time.”
Kaidoh starts to blush until his ears are red too, and it’s making his heart thump painfully hard against his chest. Momoshiro is just too dimwitted. He can’t even figure out why Kaidoh’s so flustered, and why he avoided him for a week. He thinks Kaidoh’s mad because … Momoshiro didn’t jerk him off because he fell asleep?
Hah, if only that were actually the truth. Then Kaidoh could deal with it. Then he’d be angry at Momoshiro, punch him in the face, and then get on with his life.
But that’s not why Kaidoh’s so … that’s not why he feels drained, like Momoshiro is sapping the energy out of him. He slumps forwards-his knees finally breaking down-and leans against Momoshiro for support, their heads knocking together slightly. He knows he shouldn’t. He knows Momoshiro will push him away and call him gross, but right now? Kaidoh’s iron will and well trained discipline has disappeared, all because Momoshiro’s here with him, touching him, talking to him.
Momoshiro is such an idiot. He’s stupid. A moron. Oblivious. And yet Kaidoh wants nothing more than to be with him just like this.
“Do you want me to hold you up or something? You seem kind of weak,” says Momoshiro in a tone that sounds like he’s talking about the weather. He chuckles lightly. “Or do you really feel that good I’m making you weak to your knees?”
“D-don’t say things like that so shamelessly,” Kaidoh sputters. But his cheeks are red, and his breath is going haywire. Yes. Momoshiro is making him feel weak to his knees. Momoshiro is making him feel good. But not for the reasons he thinks. And while Momoshiro’s hand on the growing bulge in his shorts does feel like a relief he hasn’t experienced in a while, Kaidoh’s most overwhelmed by the fact that their bodies are touching everywhere. He can feel Momoshiro’s muscles contract and relax as he moves his hand up and down. He can feel his breath hit his cheeks like an annoying heatwave. Except it’s not annoying. It’s intoxicating. Kaidoh closes his eyes and parts his lips to take in bigger breaths.
Yeah. Momoshiro makes him feel good.
And right now, even after he tried so hard to run away from it, Kaidoh gives up on fighting it. What’s the point anyway; it would keep on nagging him until he gave in either way. Might as well do it now, when Momoshiro seems intent on touching him all on his own accord, and he isn’t pushing Kaidoh away this time, and Kaidoh won’t let that chance slip away.
And being this close again, with Momoshiro’s chest at his fingertips, Kaidoh’s once more losing the battle against his stupid mushy feelings-his control is steadily slipping, and his heart is beating in a way that tells Kaidoh this is what he wants. This is what he’s been wanting for the entire week; Momoshiro.
Just. Momoshiro.
“Fine, I’ll shut up. Enjoy,” says Momoshiro, whose voice is ringing right through Kaidoh’s ears. He’s super close. Momoshiro’s hand suddenly slips inside of his boxers, and makes contact with his already hard penis and Kaidoh visibly shudders at the connection.
Enjoy … Kaidoh’s allowed to enjoy this? He knows what Momoshiro is thinking, that Kaidoh just wants to get off, but that’s not it … that’s not what it is this time. It’s different this time. It’s not arousal, it’s something ... else. It’s a desire. A desire to want to be close to Momoshiro, and after a week of denial and avoidance, Kaidoh finally gives into that notion.
He can’t resist the idiot for too long, not when Momoshiro’s hand is tempting him, and Kaidoh can feel Momoshiro’s breath on his cheeks. His entire body shakes with a thrumming sensation when Momoshiro’s pace picks up, making longer and faster strokes. The combination of the sexual pleasure and his desire to have Momoshiro close to him, is enough to make Kaidoh forget about any kind of rule Momoshiro might have had before. So he leans against Momoshiro, completely taken over by this foreign need to be closer, and rests his chin on Momoshiro’s shoulder, where he can smell his sweat, and for once, Kaidoh isn’t complaining about the stench. Instead, it’s a bit comforting, like knowing that this is Momoshiro who is with him, and no one else.
Kaidoh fans out his fingers against Momoshiro’s chest, liking the way he can feel his heartbeat thump against the tips of his fingers. It’s going fast, too. He wonders if Momoshiro realizes how fast his is going, he could probably break some kind of record with it, it’s insane how fast it is. Almost painful. But there’s nothing painful about the way he’s molding into Momoshiro’s body like it’s all he ever wanted, like he’s allowed to. And for once, Momoshiro isn’t pushing him away. He’s not even calling him gross. No he’s … allowing Kaidoh to do as he pleases, and that is enough for Kaidoh to shut down all his thinking, all of his fears and anxiety, and just enjoy the proximity and the fumbling down his pants.
When Momoshiro’s head moves a bit, Kaidoh turns his as well, resting his cheek against Momoshiro’s neck, and breathing down on him like he’s short on oxygen. There’s not enough oxygen in this room, not when they’re doing this, not when Kaidoh feels like he’s on fire, and Momoshiro is fueling his flames.
Like he’s tumbling down a hill, Kaidoh becomes increasingly more excited at Momoshiro’s hand stroking him. Touching him in ways that’s never felt this good before. Maybe it’s because it’s been a week since Kaidoh’s last felt him like this. Or maybe it’s because his other fluttery feelings are making everything feel extra good. Or maybe it’s because Momoshiro is allowed him to use his body as support, to touch without any repercussions. Or maybe it’s a combination of all three; and it feels amazing. Kaidoh can’t even help it when he starts whining out small gasps against Momoshiro’s neck, unable to breathe normally at all anymore.
Kaidoh’s unable to control anything at the moment, he lets himself go whether he wants to or not. And that means letting Momoshiro see this embarrassing side of him. That side where he’s under Momoshiro’s complete control, where he’s almost begging for Momoshiro to continue. He claws at Momoshiro’s arm with his other hand, and without intending to, rubs his hips closer to Momoshiro’s hand, and in turn, also Momoshiro’s hips.
The slick noises of Momoshiro’s hand sliding over his sticky penis should be embarrassing Kaidoh-as well as the noises that Momoshiro seems to be drawing out of him-but it’s not. Instead Kaidoh just feels good, overwhelmed really.
It’s the only thing on his mind right now, and it’s the only thing keeping him standing up. Or maybe that’s Momoshiro. But right now, Momoshiro really is the only thing on his mind at the moment. Kaidoh feels swept away by him, like this big ocean wave, and now he’s drowning, soaking into his scent, his body-everything.
Kaidoh’s breathing gets harsher, his voice gets louder, and he squeezes his eyes tight to prevent himself from outright pressing his lips against Momoshiro’s neck. It’s the last shred of control he still has; to hold himself back from doing something so momentarily stupid, he’s sure Momoshiro wouldn’t ever forgive him for it. Even if he really wants to do it, and his lips are throbbing, and his heart is pounding like his feet hitting the pavement when he runs. Except this is better than running. He might not ever say it out loud, but he’ll take this any day over running, to be with Momoshiro, to do this, to touch him, to have him touch Kaidoh in return.
The room seems to be closing in on them, and Kaidoh feels like they’re the only two people on earth like this. He continues to grind his hips into Momoshiro, and his hands are desperately holding onto him so he won’t break down completely. As he does this, he can hear Momoshiro’s ragged breathing against his ear, it’s making his ear feel scalding hot, as if being grazed by hot steam. Momoshiro sounds just as frazzled as well, like he has no control over this either. It makes Kaidoh feel even better; Momoshiro is feeling the same way. He’s overwhelmed too. Maybe.
It’s enough to send Kaidoh’s hormones into overdrive, and he drives his body into Momoshiro’s as he groans out loud in pleasure. Suddenly he feels Momoshiro’s body shake, and even his voice is shaky as he grunts out something unintelligible. Kaidoh doesn’t have time to figure out what he said, as Momoshiro pinches the tip of his penis, and that’s it for Kaidoh.
Breath is knocked out of him as his orgasm fills up his entire body. Kaidoh chokes out for oxygen, and his eyes are open, staring into the dark, unfocused. He feels himself emptying right into Momoshiro’s hand, and everything else gets dirty and sticky down there, but he doesn’t care, his need to be clean all the time suddenly forgotten. Kaidoh feels fucking fantastic, and his entire body agrees. It unwinds, like he’s just gotten rid of a very tight knot in the muscles of his shoulders, and he leans his head on Momoshiro’s neck, which is sweaty and warm, and he can feel Momoshiro’s pulsepoint right there.
They’re breathing as if they both had their fill, it’s almost like they’re having a conversation with their breaths. And that’s when Kaidoh vaguely realizes that Momoshiro … well, he apparently came too. Kaidoh didn’t even do anything. Yet for some reason, that makes him smile a little, like this is proof of how much Momoshiro liked it. And if Momoshiro liked it, despite Kaidoh breaking one of their rules, then it’s okay. Everything’s okay.
Kaidoh sighs contently.
Alas, this blissful state where Kaidoh was allowed to touch Momoshiro as much as he wanted doesn’t last much longer. Because Momoshiro suddenly shoves him away.
“G-get off, you’re too sticky,” he grumbles at him.
Kaidoh feels his control returning to him, and he glares at Momoshiro’s silhouette, blaming him for everything that happened right now. Like he broke this magical moment where Kaidoh could pretend he was living in a fantasy. A fantasy where everything was okay, and he could touch Momoshiro and not get pushed away for it.. He hisses and turns away from Momoshiro, embarrassed to even be in front of him right now, after he displayed so much raw emotion.
He’s just lucky the room was dark, because otherwise, Momoshiro would have seen it on Kaidoh’s face as clear as day.
That Kaidoh … to Momoshiro … that maybe he …
oOo
Kaidoh tries not to think about it.
Not that it helps. He thinks about it all the time.
When he’s running, when he’s in class, when he’s studying, when he’s sleeping, and yes, even when they’re doing it. It’s always on his mind. These leftover feelings he’s been stuck with ever since that day, they’ve been gnawing at him, eating away at him until he’s once more confronted by it. It’s impossible to ignore, especially when Momoshiro seems to have gotten even hornier. Perhaps it’s to make up for lost time, so he just humps Kaidoh like a bunny that has no real aim. It’s how Momoshiro always acts; without a real purpose or reason behind his actions. He simply does it, reasons be damned.
This would have been fine, had Kaidoh felt the same way. That he was humping Momoshiro as well just because he had this hormonal urge to satisfy, and that was it. Then he’d been on the same playing field as Momoshiro, that it didn’t mean anything, that it was just … two guys jerking each other off. He knows that’s how Momoshiro sees it-because he was the one to come up with those rules in the first place-but unfortunately, that’s not how it is for Kaidoh anymore.
To him, doing this with Momoshiro, isn’t just because he wants someone to touch his dick. In fact, Kaidoh would have been horrified had he ever even thought about someone else touching him in that place just a few months ago. But now, when he’s been doing it so much, Kaidoh knows it’s not because of that reason. It can’t be anyone else but Momoshiro. It has to be Momoshiro. Only Momoshiro is the one that Kaidoh would ever even allow to come near him in the first place, much less touch him in the most private of places.
Why?
Well. Kaidoh doesn’t know why.
Which is why he thinks about it all the time.
He tries to suppress these weird urges and feelings when it comes to Momoshiro, because even Kaidoh, who is rather inexperienced himself, knows that this is not what Momoshiro had in mind when he proposed the idea in the first place. That this is not ‘normal’. And clearly, Momoshiro doesn’t feel the same way at all. So he can’t ever let Momoshiro find out, even though Kaidoh always feels like it’s stamped on his forehead, like this big bright message that could be read as clear as day. Fortunately, Momoshiro is as dense as always, and they never look each other in the eye when they do it anyway.
Good. Kaidoh would fear his secrets would be found out if Momoshiro did look at him. Kaidoh can’t resist his iron stare; it makes him feel weak in the knees. It also pisses Kaidoh off because he doesn’t like the reactions Momoshiro causes, like somehow this makes Momoshiro have all the cards, and Kaidoh is helpless and can’t do anything about it. He really can’t do anything about it, and it’s frustrating.
Especially since Momoshiro won’t leave him alone.
Kaidoh is torn on whether he should be happy of angry about this fact. His stupid mushy urges want him to stick to Momoshiro like glue, but the better part of his brain tells him this is stupid, and he is stupid, and Momoshiro is stupid too, so why the fuck is he feeling like this?
Then again, Kaidoh is unable to resist Momoshiro’s advances. Momoshiro has him at his beck and call, literally.
All Momoshiro has to do is beckon at him as he runs around on campus, and then-instead of doing it in the privacy of their own room-they start dry humping each other behind the tennis clubhouse.
It’s mortifying, it’s completely shameful, and yet Kaidoh will happily run over and do it.
Sometimes, Kaidoh just punches himself in the face, and hopes that will knock out all of his stupid feelings. It doesn’t work, of course, and he’s left with a swollen cheek and Momoshiro just has one more reason to make fun of his puffer fish face.
Kaidoh doesn’t understand why Momoshiro suddenly can’t keep it in his pants and has to do it as soon as he sees Kaidoh, even if that means they have to do it outside where they can be caught, but he’s not really complaining. Or well, he is, but not out loud. Kaidoh simply goes along with it, since he craves it, too. Craves the closeness of Momoshiro’s body.
Every time they do it, Kaidoh is unable to resist the urge to touch Momoshiro again, and he keeps pushing his boundaries more and more. Something good came out of that day, because Momoshiro lets Kaidoh get away with a whole lot more this time.
One of his greatest fears, being pushed away and get called gross, hasn’t happened yet.
Instead, Kaidoh is able to rest his hand on top of Momoshiro’s shoulder. He doesn’t have enough courage to touch Momoshiro anywhere else yet with his hand, besides the obvious, so he keeps it there. He uses the excuse that it’s for support and it stabilizes them as they frantically move their other hands up and down. And when they’re outside, well Kaidoh goes a little trigger happy. Because they have to be discreet and hide away from public view, they sort of press up against one another against the wall. It makes Kaidoh’s mind all hazy and even if they don’t always finish up (they usually only have about two to three minutes until Kaidoh has to return to his club), being able to touch Momoshiro’s body like this is enough to satisfy him.
That, and Momoshiro makes sure to finish them off at night-obviously he’s not satisfied.
Kaidoh’s too much of a wuss to get that close to Momoshiro when they’re alone in their room. That still seems off limits, despite him pushing said limits.
So when they’re out there, Kaidoh simply buries his head into Momoshiro’s shoulder and breathes in his scent. It relaxes him and yet at the same time, rejuvenates him with so much energy that he doesn’t know what to do with it. So he just uses it to grind his hips into Momoshiro’s, since he seems to like that part of this arrangement. Kaidoh prays every day that Momoshiro won’t notice what he’s doing when they do this. That he’s secretly brushing his lips up against his collarbone, dying to kiss his skin for real, or how his fingers are digging hard into Momoshiro’s chest and arms, or how he keeps inhaling Momoshiro’s scent from the spikes that fall on the back of his neck.
It’s gross. Super gross, and Kaidoh feels dirty for doing it. But he does it anyway.
It’s a conflict that Kaidoh doesn’t quite know how to deal with. He knows he’s not supposed to do this, much less want it, and yet his body feels so good when he gives into the cravings. Momoshiro’s body moving against him in that sweaty and unhinged matter probably feels even better than running. No, not probably-it really does.
And Kaidoh’s hooked on this feeling.
But when they’re apart, Kaidoh can reign in on these impulses, and look at the situation objectively. That is to say, he can analyze them, feel guilty about it, and then do it all over again like nothing’s ever changed.
Then again, things did change, didn’t they? They’re doing it outside now … Kaidoh is allowed to touch some parts of Momoshiro … and Momoshiro seems more intent on doing it as often as possible.
Sometimes, they even do it twice a day. In the morning, that is.
oOo
“Wakey, wakey, snakey, snakey!” Something jabs at Kaidoh’s chest, and he groans out loud, awakening from his sleep.
Kaidoh’s eyes pop open, and he sees Momoshiro sitting on top of him, a big smile on his face, and pushing his hands into Kaidoh’s chest. Completely overwhelmed by this sneak attack, Kaidoh doesn’t know what else to do with this explosion of goose bumps appearing on his skin other than to punch the object of his affections, right on his left cheek.
“Yaah!” Momoshiro cries out in pain, but still manages to stay on top of Kaidoh. “What the hell Kaidoh!? What was that for! Is that your first reaction to everything!?” He pounds Kaidoh’s chest with his fist in return.
Kaidoh hisses, hoping his blush on his cheeks isn’t too noticeable. Maybe Momoshiro will mistake it for anger instead, and not because he’s feeling giddy at waking up to find Momoshiro straddling him like this. “It is when the first thing I see is your face in the morning.”
Momoshiro suddenly stops rubbing his cheek, and he curls his fingers into Kaidoh’s tanktop. The places where their skin touches starts to warm up, like a heater in the middle of the winter. “What’s that, Mamushi, are you saying you just want to punch my face!?”
“I always do.” And Kaidoh wants to do more than to punch it. Way more. Things that would disgust Momoshiro, so he would never ever do it. Now if only Momoshiro would be so kind to get off of his body, because right now … it’s kind of giving him morning wood here. And that’s even more embarrassing.
“You know, tomorrow, I’ll just wake you up by punching you in the face as well, how’s that? It’s only fair.” Momoshiro loosens his grip on Kaidoh’s top, and leans back with a smug face.
“How about you wake me up like a normal person?” Kaidoh growls back. It’s not like he really hates waking up like this … there’s something about Momoshiro’s weight on top of him that drives him kind of nuts. No, he doesn’t hate waking up like this.
“I did-but you didn’t respond, so here I am.” Momoshiro grins at him, a toothy one that makes Kaidoh feel even more heat spread across his cheeks. He looks so damn stupid with that grin, so carefree and happy, it’s a look Kaidoh would never admit to liking out loud, but he secretly enjoys it. “You should be happy I woke you up, since it’s almost time for class.”
Kaidoh suddenly snaps out of his daze and he rushes to sit up straight, eyes widened and scanning for his alarm clock. It says 8:34. What the hell-he has his alarm set at 5 AM, why didn’t it go off?
Momoshiro bashfully scratches his cheek. “I might have accidentally stumbled over the cord in the middle of the night when I went to go pee.”
Then Kaidoh returns his gaze on Momoshiro, glaring this time. “Fucking asshole, you did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I totally did it on purpose, all because I wanted to wake you up myself-that’s totally what I wanted,” Momoshiro says with an exaggerated tone. And even though Kaidoh knows he’s being sarcastic, the thought that Momoshiro would want to wake Kaidoh up like this leaves his heart pounding pleasantly.
“Shut up, get off. I need to go to class,” Kaidoh says instead, but he’s not pushing Momoshiro away. It’s kind of hard.
The erection in his shorts, that is, buried away underneath his blanket where Momoshiro can’t see it, but Kaidoh can definitely feel it. Stupid hormones. Stupid Momoshiro.
“Hey, hey, where’s my thank you? I woke you up when I could have just let you stay asleep!” Momoshiro says indignantly, like he’s expecting some kind of reward.
Kaidoh bits his lips to prevent himself from saying anything stupid, like, thank you. Which he’ll never do. “You were the one that made me late in the first place! How about getting an apology from you, huh?” he argues back.
Momoshiro rolls his eyes, then pokes Kaidoh’s chest with his index finger. “Yeah well, before you leave, how about I make it up with this.” And then, to show what he means, Momoshiro pushes himself forward to crush Kaidoh’s hips with his own weight.
Kaidoh can feel even more blood rushing to his face now, especially since Momoshiro happened to rub right over his already hard penis, which is happy to finally get some attention. Traitor. “W-what-n-now?” Kaidoh chokes out, feeling flabbergasted. They’ve never done it right when he woke up …
“Shut up and lie down,” Momoshiro says in a confident voice, before he pushes his hand against Kaidoh’s chest to force him to lie back down against his pillow, and he does without putting up much of a fight.
So that was the day Momoshiro decided morning jerk-off routines are the best way to start the day. Kaidoh can’t say he has anything to complain about, since Momoshiro wakes him up just like this most of the time since that time.
Part 3
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Momoshiro/Kaidoh
Rating: MA
Word count: 58k
Chapters: 1 (part 1) | 1 (part 2) | 2 (part 1) | 2 (part 2) | 2 (part 3) | 2 (part 4)
Summary: They don’t look each other in the eye when they do it.
A/N: Second part. It's a long chapter @_@
“Just come over here already,” Momoshiro whines. He is sitting on his bed facing Kaidoh.
Kaidoh bites down on his lip and frowns at his homework. No, he can’t give into temptation. Momoshiro’s incessant whining won’t sway him anymore. He will be strong, and reject any of his advances or suggestions. After all, Kaidoh’s got homework to do.
But mostly, he’s just a little afraid that Momoshiro might call him gross again.
Just a little.
Not like it really bothers him or something. No, that’s preposterous.
“Come ooon, it’s so late already and I’m about to fall asleep.”
“Then why don’t you go sleep?” Kaidoh responds, deadpan.
“Because!” Momoshiro whines once more. It’s grating on Kaidoh’s nerves. “It’ll ... give me the workout that you told me I need?” he explains hopefully, as if this is reason enough for Kaidoh to engage him.
Well, it might be working. Just a bit. But then Kaidoh remembers what Momoshiro said to him two days ago, then shakes his head and taps his pencil against his notebook. “No, I have homework.” Then, because otherwise it didn’t feel aggressive enough, he says, “And you smell like a dead fish.”
“Fine!” Momoshiro yells. He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Whatever. Not like I wanted to do it anyway. You keep doing your stupid homework.”
Kaidoh rolls his eyes at Momoshiro’s temper tantrum, he can be such an idiot sometimes. “I will.”
“Asshole.”
With that, Kaidoh hopes the argument is settled, and maybe he can actually finish his homework tonight. But knowing Momoshiro, things are never expected; he’s as unpredictable as he comes. Always coming up with these scheming weird plots and just blurting out whatever he feels like it. A stark contrast to the calm and composed Kaidoh, who thinks before he says something. Though when it comes to Momoshiro, he’s probably just as hotheaded as he is. They’ve always been like that. He smiles fondly at the memories they shared together in middle school, getting into so many stupid fights. Heh.
Those childhood memories fade away as soon as Kaidoh hears the rustling of fabric. He perks up his ears, trying not to look over at Momoshiro’s direction, because that would somehow mean he lost the argument or something, so he listens instead. Sounds like Momoshiro’s doing something ... sounds like friction.
“What are you doing?” Kaidoh asks him accusingly, chair turned around to face Momoshiro; he definitely lost.
“What’s it looks like I’m doing?” Momoshiro’s got one hand down his shorts, and it’s moving, stroking the bulge underneath it.
Ew gross-he’s masturbating in front of him? “That’s disgusting,” Kaidoh says.
Momoshiro sticks up his nose, then throws his head back against the wall as he closes his eyes and continues undisturbed. Kaidoh can’t tear his eyes away; Momoshiro is acting completely shameless, no sense of embarrassment at all that he’s doing this directly in front of Kaidoh. Kaidoh finally does pull his eyes away-from his crotch of course-and looks at Momoshiro’s face instead. It’s half covered by the shadows of the room, but like this, when Momoshiro’s eyes are closed, Kaidoh can take the time to look at him without being discovered.
It’s weird, but weird has never held Kaidoh back before, so he studies Momoshiro’s face as it crinkles up in places in tune with his strokes. His eyebrows are stuck in a constant furrow; he seems to be really concentrated on this. His lips are parted slightly, and Kaidoh can hear the breath he takes with them. And when he licks his lips, Kaidoh feels his resolve crumbles to pieces.
The weird mixture of Momoshiro pleasuring himself in front of Kaidoh, while making those ... those ... faces, is actually turning Kaidoh on. Without being touched. This is something Kaidoh should be worried about, but at the moment, he’s kind of focused on Momoshiro right now. Who is there on the bed, touching himself, and Kaidoh wants to be the one to do the touching all of the sudden.
No wait, that’s gross, remember? Kaidoh shakes his head and tries to prevent himself from indulging that odd urge to get up and wrap his own hand around Momoshiro’s ...
No, no-he can’t. Remember last time Kaidoh? What if he just calls him gross again?
Momoshiro is completely oblivious to Kaidoh’s internal struggle, and is determined to keep fondling himself in front of Kaidoh. And pulling weird faces. Oh, and making weird noises. He’s doing it on purpose isn’t he? He’s trying to get Kaidoh to come over and ... and ... it’s working.
So he gets up from his chair, unable to resist the idiot any further. “Dumbass,” Kaidoh says, trying to still keep up the pretense that this is a chore to him. So that Momoshiro won’t know he genuinely wants to.
“Sure took you long enough,” Momoshiro says with a devious smirk once Kaidoh crawls onto the mattress.
Kaidoh doesn’t argue back, instead he lowers his eyes now that Momoshiro is looking at him. No matter how many times they do this, having Momoshiro look at him as he does this is still nerve wrecking. He wraps his fingers around Momoshiro’s wrist, and slowly pulls it out of his shorts. His fingers linger for a bit, slipping away from Momoshiro’s wrist until they touch the inside of his palm, and Kaidoh can feel his adrenaline pumping again. But he quickly retreats them when he remembers Momoshiro finds any sort of touching gross. Then he slips his fingers under the waistband of Momoshiro’s shorts, and when he feels his penis, he grips it, then pulls it out in the open; he gets to work.
Momoshiro’s body is quick to respond to him, and that makes Kaidoh feel satisfied, almost as if he wants to gloat about how much Momoshiro seems to like this. Kaidoh’s the one doing this, Kaidoh’s the one touching him, making him feel these things, making the muscles in his legs tense up, making him claw at the mattress, making him breathe irregularly. And even if Momoshiro is just sitting there, not touching him at all, Kaidoh’s overwhelmed by that pleasant buzzing feeling again. It courses throughout his entire body, and it only becomes stronger.
Kaidoh is a bit amazed by how hard Momoshiro feels in his hand, how he can even feel a slight pulse. Not to mention how much precum Momoshiro is producing; it’s lubricating his entire hand. Kaidoh gets really into it, that he only half hears what Momoshiro says to him.
Huh, what did he say?
Oh, get closer. Right, Momoshiro wants to touch him too.
Wait, he wants to?
An unexplainable flush spreads over Kaidoh’s face, and he moves closer, feeling a lot more daring than before. He positions himself in between Momoshiro’s legs, nudging at them so he spreads them and he can sit down. And then he moves even closer, closer than they’ve ever been before, like Kaidoh’s being pulled by this strange magnetic force. Momoshiro raises his hand, but instead of groping Kaidoh, he pushes it against Kaidoh’s shoulder. There’s not much force there, especially when Momoshiro is so preoccupied as it is, so he ends up just holding onto Kaidoh.
Kaidoh’s heart feels like it’s about to burst out of his throat, it’s racing so fast.
He pumps faster, suddenly feeling energized with a strong and strange power. Momoshiro doesn’t mind, is what Kaidoh’s thinking. He wants to touch him too. He’s not even pulling it away, or calling him gross.
And just when Kaidoh thought this couldn’t get any better, Momoshiro leans forward, almost hesitating, before his forehead bumps against Kaidoh’s. Kaidoh freezes up, even his hand movement stops, and his eyes are wide open, staring at Momoshiro in front of him, whose eyes are closed, but he’s definitely leaning his forehead against Kaidoh’s for support.
Kaidoh doesn’t know what to do. Jerking off had seemed easy-up and down is all you need to know-but now he doesn’t know how to respond. What does Momoshiro suddenly want from him? Does he want to touch Kaidoh ... ?
As Kaidoh dances a little cheerleading routine in his mind, Momoshiro’s hand slips away from his shoulder and falls into his lap, at the same time as his forehead slides down, suddenly going so fast it seems Momoshiro had fallen over. That’s when the cheerleading routine ended with a blast; Momoshiro’s lips brush over Kaidoh’s. His lips zing with a voltage so high, it makes all of Kaidoh’s muscles twitch in response. Then Momoshiro’s lips slide down to his chin ... then his neck ... until he buries his face into Kaidoh’s neck.
Then he snores.
Kaidoh’s body has turned to stone, and his hands and arms-hell his entire body-feels awkward and stiff and inappropriate. Not to mention he feels like he’s on fire.
“... M-Momoshiro?” Kaidoh croaks out.
Momoshiro doesn’t budge, just breathes slowly against Kaidoh’s skin.
Asleep. The dumbass has fallen asleep.
This would have pissed Kaidoh off to no end, except he’s still stuck in that place, with Momoshiro’s half-hard penis still gripped in his hand, and Momoshiro’s lips pressing lightly into the nook of his neck. It’s ... it’s too much. It’s making Kaidoh’s mind spin. Did Momoshiro’s lips really touch his just now? Does that even count as a kiss? They definitely made lip contact … and right now, they’re still touching him, on his neck, and it’s making all of the small hairs stand on end, goosebumps popping up everywhere.
This isn’t right. Momoshiro shouldn’t be ... no, Kaidoh shouldn’t be ... yes, he should push him away and go to bed. The idiot fell asleep. Haha. He can give him hell for it tomorrow, and then it would be a funny memory.
Except Kaidoh doesn’t think it’s funny at all. In fact, he’s feeling things he’s never felt before, and there’s one crystal clear thing going through his mind; Momoshiro’s body feels nice. And then he realizes, he has felt this way before. He’s had Momoshiro’s body against him like this as well, exactly to the way his lips were pressed into his neck.
During their trip to the U-17 camp, which was over four years ago, Kaidoh had to carry Momoshiro around on his back. The idiot had fallen asleep then-something about it being too comfortable-and Kaidoh had to deal with him the entire way like that. Momoshiro’s sleeping body felt warm on his back, and his lips were firmly pressed into his neck, something which made him blush against his own will because it felt weird, but also good, and that made him super awkward about the whole thing. Yet at the same time he was relieved Momoshiro was okay and safe on his back. Kaidoh has always remembered that moment, not because they had gotten into a big fight, not because they were playing a great match, not because Momoshiro said something stupid-no, Kaidoh remembers because back then, he was glad Momoshiro’s hands were hurt, just so he could take care of him and carry him around like this.
Kaidoh secretly likes pandering to Momoshiro.
And this? Where Momoshiro is resting against him again? Just like that one time? Kaidoh feels like he can’t give up this opportunity.
Something stirs up inside of Kaidoh, something warm and fuzzy and it’s sort of fizzling over. His hand lets go of Momoshiro’s now flaccid penis, and instead of using it to push Momoshiro away-to push all of these feelings away-it crawls up Momoshiro’s side until it’s behind his back. Kaidoh snuggles closer to Momoshiro’s body as he embraces him with both his arms, the palm of his hands lay flat against Momoshiro’s back. This feels like something forbidden, something impossible, something dangerous, but Kaidoh’s mind isn’t thinking straight. He’s completely lost to this fluttery current in his stomach. And with Momoshiro asleep right now, Kaidoh is allowed to indulge that feeling he’s repressed so many times before.
He presses his nose into Momoshiro’s neck and inhales his scent, letting out a small sigh afterwards.
Yup, this is definitely creepy.
Any moment now, the gravity of the situation will come rushing back to Kaidoh, and he’ll forever be ashamed of himself.
But not before his lips purse out to touch Momoshiro’s neck, and kisses it lightly.
That’s when reality come back to him. Kaidoh immediately pulls back with a very red face, and puts up his arms as if he’s been put under arrest. Momoshiro’s lifeless body simply slumps up against him even more, and Kaidoh feels like he’s being overrun by a stampede of ants, as his skin is itchy and crawly and the goosebumps just won’t stop. He pushes Momoshiro away and scrambles off of the bed.
Kaidoh takes in deep breaths. He’s panicking, he doesn’t know why he did that. Why? They had rules ... he just broke them ... well technically Momoshiro broke them first-but he continued it. Why did he do that? Why did he ... want to?
“You stupid asshole,” Kaidoh curses against Momoshiro, his voice thick with anxiety.
What did he do!?
Confused and angry at himself at what he did, Kaidoh does what Kaidoh does best; he runs. He runs all night, and doesn’t even get any sleep that day.
oOo
Kaidoh feels like he’s opened Pandora’s box. All of these unexplained feelings have poured out of him, and they won’t stop washing over him each time he thinks of Momoshiro, and what he did to him.
Oh how he wishes he could close that box. To shove it all away, locked to infinity, underneath a dusty bed that no one ever looks under anymore. Push it away to a dark, dark place, because Kaidoh’s going kind of insane with this, this … plague.
But no matter how hard he tries to forget, tries to ignore it, Kaidoh knows what he did-remembers it with perfect clarity, really-and most importantly, he keeps wanting to do it again. Every time he looks at Momoshiro, he just wants to reach out and touch him, to have the tips of his fingers brush over the smooth skin at the back of his neck, to have those lips touch his own again … these disgusting thoughts and aching needs just won’t stop.
And the worst part of it all-or maybe it’s a blessing in disguise-is that Momoshiro is completely oblivious to it. He doesn’t remember what happened that night when he fell asleep. He probably thinks he got a good night’s sleep out of it, he doesn’t know what Kaidoh did. He doesn’t know their lips touched. He doesn’t know that Kaidoh impulsively embraced him, and now he’s stuck with all of these feelings that give him goosebumps each time Momoshiro so much as looks at him.
Stupid idiot. It’s all his fault. If he hadn’t fallen asleep then … then he could have stopped Kaidoh from pushing the no touching rule. Maybe even have called him gross to get him to back off. Yeah. If only he had stayed awake.
Unable to really look Momoshiro in the eye anymore, or even say anything to him, Kaidoh goes out of his way to prevent running into the idiot, and keeps running later and later so that they won’t be alone together in a room. In essence, he’s trying to run away from this melting pot of creepy crawlies in his stomach, and thinks that by just running a lot, this will actually work. He doesn’t know what else to do. So he avoids Momoshiro like he does actually have the plague. It’s because Kaidoh feels like if Momoshiro did that thing with him again, like nothing ever happened, Kaidoh’s carefully constructed wall might crack under pressure. It might just make all of the curses flood out of Pandora’s box with full force. It would be chaos, unexpected, and Kaidoh doesn’t like either of those. He likes the expected, he likes order-and damnit, why can’t Momoshiro just go away and leave him alone? It’s all his fault he’s stuck with these feelings, and he doesn’t even seem to realize what he did.
Kaidoh trains a lot more than usual, filling up all of his free time with running, lifting weights, and more running. He knows he’s literally running away from Momoshiro, sometimes he even ducks behind a potted plant if he spots him in the hallways, but Kaidoh really has no clue what else he can do. If Momoshiro talks to him, Kaidoh might just reveal everything, everything that he did to Momoshiro that night, and everything that’s still bottled up inside of him.
Momoshiro might just find out that Kaidoh is aching to touch him in the most disgusting places, and it’s so wrong, so damn shameful, so Kaidoh can’t let Momoshiro know. He can’t, simply can’t.
Kaidoh is completely disgusted with himself for having these feelings, and at night it’s eating away at him, as Momoshiro sleeps on the other side of the room. So close, yet so far.
It’s one thing to do the thing that they do, Kaidoh can grasp it on a very instinctual level-something primal and hormonal powered. It’s another to have this humming sensation buzz through his entire skin anytime he senses Momoshiro is near him, and he’s filled with this inexplicably need to have Momoshiro closer, to touch him, to feel him, to simply be with him.
Kaidoh simply just doesn’t know what to do anymore. So he ignores Momoshiro, for as long as he can.
He doesn’t know how long that will last, as Momoshiro knows something is up, and this makes Kaidoh even more anxious. What if Momoshiro tries to demand why he’s purposely avoiding him? What if Momoshiro corners him somewhere where he can’t escape? Then he won’t have a choice but to look at Momoshiro, and Kaidoh dreads the day that will happen, as he can’t prepare himself for the unexpected. Everything with Momoshiro always feels like Kaidoh is wading into enemy territory blindfolded. He feels naked and without armour, and Momoshiro is holding all the guns.
Stupid bastard.
Yet, despite all of his running away, and ducking behind furniture whenever Momoshiro is in sight-Kaidoh can’t help but secretly leer at Momoshiro anyway. When his club goes running through campus again, Kaidoh slips away from the group and hides behind the tennis club house. He can feel his heart beat faster, and his mind is screaming at him to let it go, and go back to his club activities, but Kaidoh can’t help but what to see him again. It’s super frustrating, and totally annoying, but Kaidoh’s a puppet to these feelings, and all of his strings are being pulled that he has no control over. So he secretly stares at the tennis club members going about their business.
Then he spots Momoshiro, wearing his regular jacket, and looking extremely pissed off. Kaidoh feels his heart bang repeatedly against his ribcage, almost painfully so, and he feels this flush spread across his cheeks.
What the hell is he doing? Spying on Momoshiro … just how low can Kaidoh go?
He seriously needs to stop this. These stupid goosebumpy feelings should also disappear, at once.
And then suddenly, Kaidoh’s staring right into Momoshiro’s eyes.
He saw him.
Oh fuck.
Flustered like never before (and that includes the time when he had to explain to Momoshiro to ‘do that thing again’), Kaidoh turns beet red and skitters away at hyperspeed-as fast as his feet can take him. Momoshiro gives chase. An alarm rings hard in Kaidoh’s mind, and thankfully, he’s an expert at running, because he easily leaves Momoshiro behind, who just curses at him instead because he can’t catch up to Kaidoh. Thank god Kaidoh loves to run.
When Kaidoh comes to a stop, his heart is still beating a thousand miles per minute; it just won’t calm down at all. Great. Kaidoh’s sure Momoshiro will want to question him on this. That day he dreaded where Momoshiro would confront him? That’s probably today. Kaidoh gulps loudly and tries to empty his mind by running the entire day.
Or at least, Kaidoh kind of wishes it was the entire day, but he’s tired, and he actually does need to get back to his room because he’s still got some notes he needs to read over for a test, and he hates not being prepared for a test. So a little after midnight, Kaidoh finally returns to their dormroom, feeling like he’s dragging lead around, with how heavy his legs suddenly feel. There’s an unpleasant weight rotting in the pit of his stomach that just won’t go away. It’s the anticipation. The anticipation of seeing Momoshiro again, and knowing this won’t end well.
Kaidoh just prays Momoshiro is asleep, since he seems to be good at that.
Carefully, Kaidoh approaches the door, softly turns the handle, and opens the door. It’s dark inside, and for a small moment in time, Kaidoh breathes out a sigh of relief; Momoshiro’s asleep.
That sigh of relief turns into a gasp of surprise when Kaidoh gets flung back at the door, feeling hands grab at his shirt angrily. He doesn’t need to see to know who those hands belong to.
“What the hell Kaidoh! You’re avoiding me!” Momoshiro yells right into Kaidoh’s face.
Uhh, uhh. Kaidoh’s kind of shell shocked here.
For a week he managed to carefully avoid being too close to Momoshiro. His carefully constructed barricade against Momoshiro’s advances held up for a week, and now that idiot came barreling straight through like it was nothing. Kaidoh can already feel it, the surges of feelings threatening to surface and bubble over. It starts pulsating from the point where Momoshiro’s hands are curled around Kaidoh’s shirt, a warm and prickly kind of feeling runs through his chest, down his arms and back, leaving him with this chill crawling down his spine.
It’s been so long. No. He can’t think like that. Kaidoh must prevail, he must remember to ignore these fizzly sensations as much as possible.
“You never come home this late,” Momoshiro growls at him, completely unaware of the effect he’s having on Kaidoh.
Why is it only Kaidoh that’s like this? Why is Momoshiro so damn stupid? Can’t he pick up the giant clue of leave Kaidoh the fuck alone? That’s all he wanted. And maybe, just maybe, Kaidoh would stop feeling so mushy and weird, and then they could act normal again like always.
This? This is far from normal.
“I-I …” Kaidoh stutters. His voice doesn’t want to come out of his throat anymore, aside from embarrassing squeaky noises because he’s feeling squeamish in Momoshiro’s hold.
Then Momoshiro pushes even harder against his chest-his entire body pressing with it, and Kaidoh’s legs suddenly feel like jelly. That’s too much touching! Kaidoh’s mind is like a whirlwind of emotions and contradictions. Contradictions, because one half is telling him he hates being this close to Momoshiro, and the other half is telling him he likes being this close. It’s too damn confusing, and annoying, and Kaidoh’s getting palpitations.
Kaidoh tries to get himself to talk through sheer willpower alone, and it’s working. Sort of. “I … was running.” He manages to sound like his usual grouchy self, or at least he hopes it sounds like it, unlike the ball of nerves he feels on the inside. “A-at the club.” Now if only he could stop making himself shake through willpower, then that would be fantastic. Unfortunately, Momoshiro’s body heat only serves to make him tremble more. Even Momoshiro’s breath that’s so close to his face is making him feel woozy.
Especially like this, in the dark where he can’t see, Kaidoh’s senses are heightened that it’s making everything seem more heart pounding than it really is. Or maybe it’s always been like this.
“Liar. What were you doing at the tennis courts today, huh?”
Well Momoshiro wasn’t supposed to see that! Kaidoh bites his lip and tries to think of a good explanation that doesn’t involve the words spying or stalking. Because he totally wasn’t. However, since he can’t come up with anything, he just growls instead out of frustration, then finally regains the feeling back in his arms, and he tries to pry Momoshiro’s hands off of him. “What’s it to you, asshole!” he fires back, though sounding a lot more confident than he actually feels. He hopes Momoshiro will fall for this confident front.
“When you’re watching me, of course it’s my business to know why!” Momoshiro says.
“S-stupid!” He wasn’t supposed to see that at all! “I wasn’t w-watching you. Dumbass.” Perhaps if Kaidoh can insult Momoshiro a bit more, than maybe he’ll really believe Kaidoh wasn’t spying on him. Maybe it’ll make Kaidoh believe it himself as well. That he never tried to look for Momoshiro, that he never wanted to see his face just because.
But he did. And it’s making his insides feel all syrupy.
Momoshiro tilts his face and leans in closer. Kaidoh sucks in a breath and suddenly holds still , completely afraid of moving as that might open Pandora’s box completely, and he will want to act on his stupid urges. Momoshiro’s so close it’s overwhelming him, it’s making him short of breath because he’s freaking out a bit. Kaidoh turns his head away, afraid it might be written all over his face if Momoshiro looked at him up close like this.
“Then why were you there?” Momoshiro asks.
“B-because the club was running around campus.” That, at least, is not a lie. “Now let me go!” Kaidoh almost pleads. If Momoshiro continues to keep him trapped like this against the door, with their bodies suffocating each other, then Kaidoh might just … he might just …
“No!” Momoshiro presses his knuckles into Kaidoh’s chest even tighter. Kaidoh sucks in a breath of air as he can feel his chest explode in stupid confetti, like there’s a festival being held inside of him, and they’re just about to start the countdown for the fireworks. Kaidoh can’t let that happen-he can’t let Momoshiro even have an inkling of knowing what Kaidoh is feeling, he must control these emotions!
He desperately tries to get away from Momoshiro again, trying his best not to look at him either, as that would simply add fuel to the fire. Don’t look … just don’t look. Then maybe Kaidoh can escape. Escape Momoshiro and these weird creepy vibrations in his stomach.
“Why won’t you even look at me? Are you seriously that pissed off because of last time?”
Kaidoh lets out a puff of air that’s sounds like a cross between annoyance and defeat. That giant anvil floating above Momoshiro’s head-the big fucking clue that Kaidoh was hiding without much success-Momoshiro just completely ignored it. Total obliviousness. Momoshiro wouldn’t be able to read this situation even if Kaidoh had a red blinking beacon strapped to his forehead that displayed everything he was feeling for Momoshiro at the moment.
And for now, Momoshiro’s obliviousness to his inner turmoil is enough for Kaidoh’s blood to run cold, and it’s making his fluttery heart quiet down. Instead he’s left feeling a bit resentful, like Momoshiro isn’t good at picking up hints, like for some reason, he should have, even though Kaidoh’s been trying so hard to hide it, to escape from it. So finally he manages to break free from this idiotic guy who kept him trapped against the door. Kaidoh immediately springs away, fleeing towards the middle of the room while pulling his bandana over his face to cover it.
Frustrated, ashamed, annoyed and slightly jittery-Kaidoh’s heart isn’t sticking to just one emotion. It’s just chaos.
Though, Kaidoh should be glad. Momoshiro’s too much of an idiot to have known, to have sensed the change. He noticed something alright, but apparently he thinks Kaidoh’s pissed. No, he’s not. Well, maybe he is, but he’s pissed off at the way he’s feeling-he’s not necessarily pissed at Momoshiro. Wait, scratch that. He’s always pissed off at Momoshiro. He’s the one that made him feel these weird jumpy feelings in the first place! But … no, pissed isn’t the word he’d use to describe this … this thing. Conflicted, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed-those fit much better.
“No, you idiot. I’m not mad.” Kaidoh sighs and buries his face into his bandana. It’s hard to keep standing up straight, as Kaidoh’s had all of his energy sapped right out of him, just from this brief encounter with Momoshiro’s hands and warm body.
And yet he still secretly longs to feel it again. But that’s disgusting, and gross. He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. Momoshiro is an idiot anyway, why would he want to feel him up like some kind of pervert? Kaidoh’s got standards and morals.
“Yeah right-you haven’t even spoken more than a few words to me in the past week,” says Momoshiro with a snarl. “Obviously you’re pissed.”
Kaidoh snaps. “Shut up! It’s your fault anyway!” He lunges at Momoshiro and roughly shoves him up against the door this time.
“What-how’s it my fault!?” Momoshiro retaliates immediately, never being one to back down from an accusation.
Kaidoh huffs in his face. “You shouldn’t have fallen asleep, you stupid asshole.” There, he said it. After a week of running away from Momoshiro, he’s said it. Momoshiro shouldn’t have fallen asleep, then maybe Kaidoh wouldn’t be stuck here wishing that Momoshiro did it again, so he could secretly hold him.
Kaidoh almost wants to throw up at those disgusting mushy thoughts entering his mind. The close proximity to Momoshiro’s stupidity is messing up his judgement. Suddenly whatever looked like a seriously bad idea last week, doesn’t seem like such a bad idea right now. Especially since Kaidoh’s touching him again, and it’s starting to feel good once more.
And that’s bad. Kaidoh should let go of Momoshiro, but for some reason, his muscles are still tightly clenched, and refusing to budge or listen to him. His body doesn’t want to be separated from Momoshiro again.
“Whatever, I was tired, and it felt good, you can’t blame me for that,” Momoshiro mumbles.
Kaidoh blinks a few times; he’s never heard Momoshiro say anything like that about what they do. He almost wants to ask; does it really feel good for you? Because it feels good for him. Really good. But again, it’s not about that. Kaidoh’s not angry, just terribly confused, and well, getting a bit less confused the longer he stays this close and pressed up against Momoshiro.
“It’s not …” Kaidoh starts, pausing as he tries to formulate his thoughts when they’re being run over by something else, something more heart pounding. Maybe he can still escape these feelings, maybe he can still pull back-it’s not too late, he hasn’t yet done anything out of the ordinary. Picking a fight with Momoshiro is one of the most normal things he could have done, so it’s not too late. Kaidoh hasn’t yet pulled any funny business. He can still salvage the situation. He sighs. “Just don’t fall asleep again,” he warns. Because that might obliterate his defense against Momoshiro completely, and he’d welcome Momoshiro with open arms. And that’s not right.
Kaidoh pushes his fist into Momoshiro’s chest, hopefully this will make him turn back to normal. Maybe his fuzzy feelings will stop. “Dumbass,” he says.
Momoshiro starts to wriggle under his body, and Kaidoh clamps his mouth shut. “Okay, I get it-you wanted some too, fine, here you go, I’m sorry for forgetting you,” he says.
Wait what?
Kaidoh flinches back with a shriek as he feels Momoshiro’s hand reach for his shorts and try to grope him. “W-what are you doing!?” he asks in an utterly frantic voice.
No-he can’t! If Momoshiro … if Momoshiro …! No, he can’t touch him right now. That’s dangerous Kaidoh needs some time alone away from this idiot to clear his thoughts and try to find a way to get rid of this disgusting desire to rub himself all over Momoshiro and make him shut up by covering his mouth with his.
Kaidoh’s eyes grow large. His thoughts are getting weirder! Did he seriously just think about kissing this stupid foul mouthed idiot whose hand seems to be stroking Kaidoh through his shorts!?
“Ah,” Kaidoh chokes out, frazzled at the sudden contact, and the weird thoughts messing him up. “What are you …” he says again, but this time, his bite has disappeared. He’s tired of holding back, Kaidoh can’t seem to anymore, as his body wants to do nothing more than to surrender to these sensations, and to focus on the warmth that’s spreading around inside of him as Momoshiro’s hand gets stronger and more dominant.
“What’s it looks like? Here, I’ll do you as an apology for falling asleep last time.”
Kaidoh starts to blush until his ears are red too, and it’s making his heart thump painfully hard against his chest. Momoshiro is just too dimwitted. He can’t even figure out why Kaidoh’s so flustered, and why he avoided him for a week. He thinks Kaidoh’s mad because … Momoshiro didn’t jerk him off because he fell asleep?
Hah, if only that were actually the truth. Then Kaidoh could deal with it. Then he’d be angry at Momoshiro, punch him in the face, and then get on with his life.
But that’s not why Kaidoh’s so … that’s not why he feels drained, like Momoshiro is sapping the energy out of him. He slumps forwards-his knees finally breaking down-and leans against Momoshiro for support, their heads knocking together slightly. He knows he shouldn’t. He knows Momoshiro will push him away and call him gross, but right now? Kaidoh’s iron will and well trained discipline has disappeared, all because Momoshiro’s here with him, touching him, talking to him.
Momoshiro is such an idiot. He’s stupid. A moron. Oblivious. And yet Kaidoh wants nothing more than to be with him just like this.
“Do you want me to hold you up or something? You seem kind of weak,” says Momoshiro in a tone that sounds like he’s talking about the weather. He chuckles lightly. “Or do you really feel that good I’m making you weak to your knees?”
“D-don’t say things like that so shamelessly,” Kaidoh sputters. But his cheeks are red, and his breath is going haywire. Yes. Momoshiro is making him feel weak to his knees. Momoshiro is making him feel good. But not for the reasons he thinks. And while Momoshiro’s hand on the growing bulge in his shorts does feel like a relief he hasn’t experienced in a while, Kaidoh’s most overwhelmed by the fact that their bodies are touching everywhere. He can feel Momoshiro’s muscles contract and relax as he moves his hand up and down. He can feel his breath hit his cheeks like an annoying heatwave. Except it’s not annoying. It’s intoxicating. Kaidoh closes his eyes and parts his lips to take in bigger breaths.
Yeah. Momoshiro makes him feel good.
And right now, even after he tried so hard to run away from it, Kaidoh gives up on fighting it. What’s the point anyway; it would keep on nagging him until he gave in either way. Might as well do it now, when Momoshiro seems intent on touching him all on his own accord, and he isn’t pushing Kaidoh away this time, and Kaidoh won’t let that chance slip away.
And being this close again, with Momoshiro’s chest at his fingertips, Kaidoh’s once more losing the battle against his stupid mushy feelings-his control is steadily slipping, and his heart is beating in a way that tells Kaidoh this is what he wants. This is what he’s been wanting for the entire week; Momoshiro.
Just. Momoshiro.
“Fine, I’ll shut up. Enjoy,” says Momoshiro, whose voice is ringing right through Kaidoh’s ears. He’s super close. Momoshiro’s hand suddenly slips inside of his boxers, and makes contact with his already hard penis and Kaidoh visibly shudders at the connection.
Enjoy … Kaidoh’s allowed to enjoy this? He knows what Momoshiro is thinking, that Kaidoh just wants to get off, but that’s not it … that’s not what it is this time. It’s different this time. It’s not arousal, it’s something ... else. It’s a desire. A desire to want to be close to Momoshiro, and after a week of denial and avoidance, Kaidoh finally gives into that notion.
He can’t resist the idiot for too long, not when Momoshiro’s hand is tempting him, and Kaidoh can feel Momoshiro’s breath on his cheeks. His entire body shakes with a thrumming sensation when Momoshiro’s pace picks up, making longer and faster strokes. The combination of the sexual pleasure and his desire to have Momoshiro close to him, is enough to make Kaidoh forget about any kind of rule Momoshiro might have had before. So he leans against Momoshiro, completely taken over by this foreign need to be closer, and rests his chin on Momoshiro’s shoulder, where he can smell his sweat, and for once, Kaidoh isn’t complaining about the stench. Instead, it’s a bit comforting, like knowing that this is Momoshiro who is with him, and no one else.
Kaidoh fans out his fingers against Momoshiro’s chest, liking the way he can feel his heartbeat thump against the tips of his fingers. It’s going fast, too. He wonders if Momoshiro realizes how fast his is going, he could probably break some kind of record with it, it’s insane how fast it is. Almost painful. But there’s nothing painful about the way he’s molding into Momoshiro’s body like it’s all he ever wanted, like he’s allowed to. And for once, Momoshiro isn’t pushing him away. He’s not even calling him gross. No he’s … allowing Kaidoh to do as he pleases, and that is enough for Kaidoh to shut down all his thinking, all of his fears and anxiety, and just enjoy the proximity and the fumbling down his pants.
When Momoshiro’s head moves a bit, Kaidoh turns his as well, resting his cheek against Momoshiro’s neck, and breathing down on him like he’s short on oxygen. There’s not enough oxygen in this room, not when they’re doing this, not when Kaidoh feels like he’s on fire, and Momoshiro is fueling his flames.
Like he’s tumbling down a hill, Kaidoh becomes increasingly more excited at Momoshiro’s hand stroking him. Touching him in ways that’s never felt this good before. Maybe it’s because it’s been a week since Kaidoh’s last felt him like this. Or maybe it’s because his other fluttery feelings are making everything feel extra good. Or maybe it’s because Momoshiro is allowed him to use his body as support, to touch without any repercussions. Or maybe it’s a combination of all three; and it feels amazing. Kaidoh can’t even help it when he starts whining out small gasps against Momoshiro’s neck, unable to breathe normally at all anymore.
Kaidoh’s unable to control anything at the moment, he lets himself go whether he wants to or not. And that means letting Momoshiro see this embarrassing side of him. That side where he’s under Momoshiro’s complete control, where he’s almost begging for Momoshiro to continue. He claws at Momoshiro’s arm with his other hand, and without intending to, rubs his hips closer to Momoshiro’s hand, and in turn, also Momoshiro’s hips.
The slick noises of Momoshiro’s hand sliding over his sticky penis should be embarrassing Kaidoh-as well as the noises that Momoshiro seems to be drawing out of him-but it’s not. Instead Kaidoh just feels good, overwhelmed really.
It’s the only thing on his mind right now, and it’s the only thing keeping him standing up. Or maybe that’s Momoshiro. But right now, Momoshiro really is the only thing on his mind at the moment. Kaidoh feels swept away by him, like this big ocean wave, and now he’s drowning, soaking into his scent, his body-everything.
Kaidoh’s breathing gets harsher, his voice gets louder, and he squeezes his eyes tight to prevent himself from outright pressing his lips against Momoshiro’s neck. It’s the last shred of control he still has; to hold himself back from doing something so momentarily stupid, he’s sure Momoshiro wouldn’t ever forgive him for it. Even if he really wants to do it, and his lips are throbbing, and his heart is pounding like his feet hitting the pavement when he runs. Except this is better than running. He might not ever say it out loud, but he’ll take this any day over running, to be with Momoshiro, to do this, to touch him, to have him touch Kaidoh in return.
The room seems to be closing in on them, and Kaidoh feels like they’re the only two people on earth like this. He continues to grind his hips into Momoshiro, and his hands are desperately holding onto him so he won’t break down completely. As he does this, he can hear Momoshiro’s ragged breathing against his ear, it’s making his ear feel scalding hot, as if being grazed by hot steam. Momoshiro sounds just as frazzled as well, like he has no control over this either. It makes Kaidoh feel even better; Momoshiro is feeling the same way. He’s overwhelmed too. Maybe.
It’s enough to send Kaidoh’s hormones into overdrive, and he drives his body into Momoshiro’s as he groans out loud in pleasure. Suddenly he feels Momoshiro’s body shake, and even his voice is shaky as he grunts out something unintelligible. Kaidoh doesn’t have time to figure out what he said, as Momoshiro pinches the tip of his penis, and that’s it for Kaidoh.
Breath is knocked out of him as his orgasm fills up his entire body. Kaidoh chokes out for oxygen, and his eyes are open, staring into the dark, unfocused. He feels himself emptying right into Momoshiro’s hand, and everything else gets dirty and sticky down there, but he doesn’t care, his need to be clean all the time suddenly forgotten. Kaidoh feels fucking fantastic, and his entire body agrees. It unwinds, like he’s just gotten rid of a very tight knot in the muscles of his shoulders, and he leans his head on Momoshiro’s neck, which is sweaty and warm, and he can feel Momoshiro’s pulsepoint right there.
They’re breathing as if they both had their fill, it’s almost like they’re having a conversation with their breaths. And that’s when Kaidoh vaguely realizes that Momoshiro … well, he apparently came too. Kaidoh didn’t even do anything. Yet for some reason, that makes him smile a little, like this is proof of how much Momoshiro liked it. And if Momoshiro liked it, despite Kaidoh breaking one of their rules, then it’s okay. Everything’s okay.
Kaidoh sighs contently.
Alas, this blissful state where Kaidoh was allowed to touch Momoshiro as much as he wanted doesn’t last much longer. Because Momoshiro suddenly shoves him away.
“G-get off, you’re too sticky,” he grumbles at him.
Kaidoh feels his control returning to him, and he glares at Momoshiro’s silhouette, blaming him for everything that happened right now. Like he broke this magical moment where Kaidoh could pretend he was living in a fantasy. A fantasy where everything was okay, and he could touch Momoshiro and not get pushed away for it.. He hisses and turns away from Momoshiro, embarrassed to even be in front of him right now, after he displayed so much raw emotion.
He’s just lucky the room was dark, because otherwise, Momoshiro would have seen it on Kaidoh’s face as clear as day.
That Kaidoh … to Momoshiro … that maybe he …
oOo
Kaidoh tries not to think about it.
Not that it helps. He thinks about it all the time.
When he’s running, when he’s in class, when he’s studying, when he’s sleeping, and yes, even when they’re doing it. It’s always on his mind. These leftover feelings he’s been stuck with ever since that day, they’ve been gnawing at him, eating away at him until he’s once more confronted by it. It’s impossible to ignore, especially when Momoshiro seems to have gotten even hornier. Perhaps it’s to make up for lost time, so he just humps Kaidoh like a bunny that has no real aim. It’s how Momoshiro always acts; without a real purpose or reason behind his actions. He simply does it, reasons be damned.
This would have been fine, had Kaidoh felt the same way. That he was humping Momoshiro as well just because he had this hormonal urge to satisfy, and that was it. Then he’d been on the same playing field as Momoshiro, that it didn’t mean anything, that it was just … two guys jerking each other off. He knows that’s how Momoshiro sees it-because he was the one to come up with those rules in the first place-but unfortunately, that’s not how it is for Kaidoh anymore.
To him, doing this with Momoshiro, isn’t just because he wants someone to touch his dick. In fact, Kaidoh would have been horrified had he ever even thought about someone else touching him in that place just a few months ago. But now, when he’s been doing it so much, Kaidoh knows it’s not because of that reason. It can’t be anyone else but Momoshiro. It has to be Momoshiro. Only Momoshiro is the one that Kaidoh would ever even allow to come near him in the first place, much less touch him in the most private of places.
Why?
Well. Kaidoh doesn’t know why.
Which is why he thinks about it all the time.
He tries to suppress these weird urges and feelings when it comes to Momoshiro, because even Kaidoh, who is rather inexperienced himself, knows that this is not what Momoshiro had in mind when he proposed the idea in the first place. That this is not ‘normal’. And clearly, Momoshiro doesn’t feel the same way at all. So he can’t ever let Momoshiro find out, even though Kaidoh always feels like it’s stamped on his forehead, like this big bright message that could be read as clear as day. Fortunately, Momoshiro is as dense as always, and they never look each other in the eye when they do it anyway.
Good. Kaidoh would fear his secrets would be found out if Momoshiro did look at him. Kaidoh can’t resist his iron stare; it makes him feel weak in the knees. It also pisses Kaidoh off because he doesn’t like the reactions Momoshiro causes, like somehow this makes Momoshiro have all the cards, and Kaidoh is helpless and can’t do anything about it. He really can’t do anything about it, and it’s frustrating.
Especially since Momoshiro won’t leave him alone.
Kaidoh is torn on whether he should be happy of angry about this fact. His stupid mushy urges want him to stick to Momoshiro like glue, but the better part of his brain tells him this is stupid, and he is stupid, and Momoshiro is stupid too, so why the fuck is he feeling like this?
Then again, Kaidoh is unable to resist Momoshiro’s advances. Momoshiro has him at his beck and call, literally.
All Momoshiro has to do is beckon at him as he runs around on campus, and then-instead of doing it in the privacy of their own room-they start dry humping each other behind the tennis clubhouse.
It’s mortifying, it’s completely shameful, and yet Kaidoh will happily run over and do it.
Sometimes, Kaidoh just punches himself in the face, and hopes that will knock out all of his stupid feelings. It doesn’t work, of course, and he’s left with a swollen cheek and Momoshiro just has one more reason to make fun of his puffer fish face.
Kaidoh doesn’t understand why Momoshiro suddenly can’t keep it in his pants and has to do it as soon as he sees Kaidoh, even if that means they have to do it outside where they can be caught, but he’s not really complaining. Or well, he is, but not out loud. Kaidoh simply goes along with it, since he craves it, too. Craves the closeness of Momoshiro’s body.
Every time they do it, Kaidoh is unable to resist the urge to touch Momoshiro again, and he keeps pushing his boundaries more and more. Something good came out of that day, because Momoshiro lets Kaidoh get away with a whole lot more this time.
One of his greatest fears, being pushed away and get called gross, hasn’t happened yet.
Instead, Kaidoh is able to rest his hand on top of Momoshiro’s shoulder. He doesn’t have enough courage to touch Momoshiro anywhere else yet with his hand, besides the obvious, so he keeps it there. He uses the excuse that it’s for support and it stabilizes them as they frantically move their other hands up and down. And when they’re outside, well Kaidoh goes a little trigger happy. Because they have to be discreet and hide away from public view, they sort of press up against one another against the wall. It makes Kaidoh’s mind all hazy and even if they don’t always finish up (they usually only have about two to three minutes until Kaidoh has to return to his club), being able to touch Momoshiro’s body like this is enough to satisfy him.
That, and Momoshiro makes sure to finish them off at night-obviously he’s not satisfied.
Kaidoh’s too much of a wuss to get that close to Momoshiro when they’re alone in their room. That still seems off limits, despite him pushing said limits.
So when they’re out there, Kaidoh simply buries his head into Momoshiro’s shoulder and breathes in his scent. It relaxes him and yet at the same time, rejuvenates him with so much energy that he doesn’t know what to do with it. So he just uses it to grind his hips into Momoshiro’s, since he seems to like that part of this arrangement. Kaidoh prays every day that Momoshiro won’t notice what he’s doing when they do this. That he’s secretly brushing his lips up against his collarbone, dying to kiss his skin for real, or how his fingers are digging hard into Momoshiro’s chest and arms, or how he keeps inhaling Momoshiro’s scent from the spikes that fall on the back of his neck.
It’s gross. Super gross, and Kaidoh feels dirty for doing it. But he does it anyway.
It’s a conflict that Kaidoh doesn’t quite know how to deal with. He knows he’s not supposed to do this, much less want it, and yet his body feels so good when he gives into the cravings. Momoshiro’s body moving against him in that sweaty and unhinged matter probably feels even better than running. No, not probably-it really does.
And Kaidoh’s hooked on this feeling.
But when they’re apart, Kaidoh can reign in on these impulses, and look at the situation objectively. That is to say, he can analyze them, feel guilty about it, and then do it all over again like nothing’s ever changed.
Then again, things did change, didn’t they? They’re doing it outside now … Kaidoh is allowed to touch some parts of Momoshiro … and Momoshiro seems more intent on doing it as often as possible.
Sometimes, they even do it twice a day. In the morning, that is.
oOo
“Wakey, wakey, snakey, snakey!” Something jabs at Kaidoh’s chest, and he groans out loud, awakening from his sleep.
Kaidoh’s eyes pop open, and he sees Momoshiro sitting on top of him, a big smile on his face, and pushing his hands into Kaidoh’s chest. Completely overwhelmed by this sneak attack, Kaidoh doesn’t know what else to do with this explosion of goose bumps appearing on his skin other than to punch the object of his affections, right on his left cheek.
“Yaah!” Momoshiro cries out in pain, but still manages to stay on top of Kaidoh. “What the hell Kaidoh!? What was that for! Is that your first reaction to everything!?” He pounds Kaidoh’s chest with his fist in return.
Kaidoh hisses, hoping his blush on his cheeks isn’t too noticeable. Maybe Momoshiro will mistake it for anger instead, and not because he’s feeling giddy at waking up to find Momoshiro straddling him like this. “It is when the first thing I see is your face in the morning.”
Momoshiro suddenly stops rubbing his cheek, and he curls his fingers into Kaidoh’s tanktop. The places where their skin touches starts to warm up, like a heater in the middle of the winter. “What’s that, Mamushi, are you saying you just want to punch my face!?”
“I always do.” And Kaidoh wants to do more than to punch it. Way more. Things that would disgust Momoshiro, so he would never ever do it. Now if only Momoshiro would be so kind to get off of his body, because right now … it’s kind of giving him morning wood here. And that’s even more embarrassing.
“You know, tomorrow, I’ll just wake you up by punching you in the face as well, how’s that? It’s only fair.” Momoshiro loosens his grip on Kaidoh’s top, and leans back with a smug face.
“How about you wake me up like a normal person?” Kaidoh growls back. It’s not like he really hates waking up like this … there’s something about Momoshiro’s weight on top of him that drives him kind of nuts. No, he doesn’t hate waking up like this.
“I did-but you didn’t respond, so here I am.” Momoshiro grins at him, a toothy one that makes Kaidoh feel even more heat spread across his cheeks. He looks so damn stupid with that grin, so carefree and happy, it’s a look Kaidoh would never admit to liking out loud, but he secretly enjoys it. “You should be happy I woke you up, since it’s almost time for class.”
Kaidoh suddenly snaps out of his daze and he rushes to sit up straight, eyes widened and scanning for his alarm clock. It says 8:34. What the hell-he has his alarm set at 5 AM, why didn’t it go off?
Momoshiro bashfully scratches his cheek. “I might have accidentally stumbled over the cord in the middle of the night when I went to go pee.”
Then Kaidoh returns his gaze on Momoshiro, glaring this time. “Fucking asshole, you did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I totally did it on purpose, all because I wanted to wake you up myself-that’s totally what I wanted,” Momoshiro says with an exaggerated tone. And even though Kaidoh knows he’s being sarcastic, the thought that Momoshiro would want to wake Kaidoh up like this leaves his heart pounding pleasantly.
“Shut up, get off. I need to go to class,” Kaidoh says instead, but he’s not pushing Momoshiro away. It’s kind of hard.
The erection in his shorts, that is, buried away underneath his blanket where Momoshiro can’t see it, but Kaidoh can definitely feel it. Stupid hormones. Stupid Momoshiro.
“Hey, hey, where’s my thank you? I woke you up when I could have just let you stay asleep!” Momoshiro says indignantly, like he’s expecting some kind of reward.
Kaidoh bits his lips to prevent himself from saying anything stupid, like, thank you. Which he’ll never do. “You were the one that made me late in the first place! How about getting an apology from you, huh?” he argues back.
Momoshiro rolls his eyes, then pokes Kaidoh’s chest with his index finger. “Yeah well, before you leave, how about I make it up with this.” And then, to show what he means, Momoshiro pushes himself forward to crush Kaidoh’s hips with his own weight.
Kaidoh can feel even more blood rushing to his face now, especially since Momoshiro happened to rub right over his already hard penis, which is happy to finally get some attention. Traitor. “W-what-n-now?” Kaidoh chokes out, feeling flabbergasted. They’ve never done it right when he woke up …
“Shut up and lie down,” Momoshiro says in a confident voice, before he pushes his hand against Kaidoh’s chest to force him to lie back down against his pillow, and he does without putting up much of a fight.
So that was the day Momoshiro decided morning jerk-off routines are the best way to start the day. Kaidoh can’t say he has anything to complain about, since Momoshiro wakes him up just like this most of the time since that time.
Part 3