"Hard Light"
This is the first Red Dwarf fic that I wrote, or at least wrote and then dared to post. I've also made a fan fic banner for it, located here: http://celiaequus.deviantart.com/gallery/31894270#/d4spnwg
Here's the fic!
“Hard Light”
The morning after they left Legion behind, Arnold Rimmer awoke to the proper sensation of sheets beneath his bare legs and hands. He could almost believe that he would find creases in his cheek from the pillowcase.
Slowly, he sat up. His naked feet hit the floor with two soft thunks, and he marvelled at the things he had barely experienced in the past few years, let alone the last three million-odd years. (Very odd, come to that.)
Right now, finding Red Dwarf was secondary. Those other times he had ‘felt’, the privilege had been taken away so soon, and he only had bad memories associated with them. He was determined to make the most of this before it was stolen from him yet again.
Over the few years with his crew-mates, he had come to treasure something more than food, drink, and similar material pleasures. Something meant - mattered - more to him now, and that was touch. And one person in particular.
An hour later Rimmer had chosen an outfit. With his new feelings of liberation and carpe diem, he had chosen jeans, a dark green t-shirt, and his favourite sneakers. There wasn’t enough room for proper exercise on the Starbug, but space boots would undoubtedly look too formal.
“Holly, where is everyone?” he asked. Then he remembered. It had been automatic. In his excitement, he had completely forgotten that Holly was still on the missing ship.
He sighed. Well, he knew where Kryten would be, at least. Then he would take it from there.
“Oh! Good morning, sir,” Kryten said. He paused in his laundry-folding. “Is there something I can do for you?”
“It’s a beautiful day, my friend,” Rimmer said, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “Isn’t life a wonderful thing? I mean, even after death there is life. Brilliant!”
“Uh, yes, sir,” Kryten said, shifting a little. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Hard light, Kryten. Kryters, my old friend. I feel like we’re truly brothers now.” He was grinning stupidly. “We are better than alive! We are tactile, yet indestructible.” The mechanoid just stared at him. “Well, I can’t stay around and chat all day. Must go and find the others.”
To Kryten’s amazement, Rimmer turned him into a proper hug, kissed him on both cheeks, then virtually skipped out of the room, headed for the cockpit.
“Good morning… Cat!” Rimmer chirped as soon as he saw who was in the pilot’s chair. “Lovely day, isn’t it? God, don’t you just love space?”
“More and more,” Cat said, leaning away as Rimmer stood beside him. “What’s up with you, bud?”
“Bud.” Rimmer was rocking back and forth, hands clasped behind his back and still smiling. “That’s right. We’re all friends. Buddies. Pals. Yes, life is truly marvellous.”
“Have you eaten any triple-strength catnip lately, Goalpost Head? `Cause you’re acting weird.”
The hologram laughed. “Ah, one of your amusing nicknames for me. That shows true friendship, doesn’t it? We really must get to know each other better.”
With those words he yanked Cat out of his seat into an enthusiastic, back-slapping hug. He only had time to kiss one cheek before the Cat shoved him away and cowered in the chair.
“Not that much better,” he said, hackles reaching for the sky faster than someone at gun-point. Rimmer frowned for a few seconds, then it dawned on him, and he laughed again.
“I don’t mean like that, matey,” he said. “But I’m flattered.”
Still in good humour, he saluted Cat, and then sauntered out of the cockpit, leaving his feline crew-mate wiping his cheek.
Rimmer bumped into Lister in the hallway.
“Don’t you look chipper,” Lister said. “Buzzed about the hard-light light bee?”
“I know something’s bound to happen to ruin things for me again, so I’m taking advantage of this while I still can. Oh, Listy, it’s the best thing that’s happened to me since… well, since I met you.”
Still on a high, he embraced Lister last of all. However, when he pulled back he followed his feelings, and instead touched his lips to Lister’s. It was meant to be brief - likely to be his only kiss with the man, he wanted it to matter more - and he tried to step away.
Dave Lister had something else in mind.
Rimmer’s back met the corridor wall, but a hand buried in his short, curly hair protected his head from injury. It was unnecessary, but very nice. Very nice indeed. Much like the lips now attacking the corners of his mouth, and the other hand caressing his side. It made him feel precious; it made him feel wanted.
“Lister?” he murmured as soon as his mouth was free.
“Call me Dave.”
“Uh, Dave…”
“Been wantin’ this for ages, man. But not out here.”
“N-no. List… I mean, Dave…”
“C’mon. Don’t want to wait, do yeh?”
Not pausing for an answer, he dragged Rimmer the short distance to their bedroom. He shut the door, and then pushed the hologram into the metal. Once again, Rimmer found himself being kissed fiercely. Their tongues met within moments, and he gasped into Lister’s mouth as he felt hands tug at his trousers.
Smeg, he thought.
Lister awoke disoriented. A glance at the clock showed that he had an hour before he was due to take over from the Cat, unless anything came up.
At his last thought he almost chuckled. Rimmer’s arm was still lying across his body, his head tucked onto Lister’s shoulder. The warmth of hard-light could almost convince him that his lover was only a hologram. But there was that distinctive ‘H’ on the pale forehead, and he sighed.
For all his jokes about Rimmer being the coward on the ship, he had shown a lot of bravery in making the first move. Enlightened twenty-third century guy Lister may be, but that meant nothing when the man he loved… well, hated him. It looked like this wasn’t the case, though. A dopey smile graced Lister’s face as he stroked Rimmer’s bare back. Now he could finally confess his feelings, something he hadn’t actually done yet.
If he wanted to spend more time with Rimmer, he would have to check to see if everything was going all right, just in case he had been called while he was asleep, or too busy to notice.
“I’ll be back soon,” he whispered, and he kissed the hologram just above his mark. He gently moved the arm and stray leg aside, stood as quietly as possible, and pulled his clothes on. Grateful - for once - that he didn’t have to ask Holly to open the door, he sneaked out and went to the cockpit.
“Hey,” he said. Kryten and Cat were running things well, apparently. “How are things?”
“Creepy,” Cat said, and he shuddered. “The smeghead’s gone space crazy!”
“What d’you mean?”
“Well, sir, he’s been going around the ship, hugging everyone,” Kryten told him.
“R-really?”
“And kissing us, too,” Cat said, making a face. “I still can’t get rid of the feeling.”
“He… he kissed you?” Lister asked. It was a good thing Kryten and Cat were facing forwards, or they would have seen his stricken expression.
“Both of us,” Kryten said. “Took us quite by surprise.”
“That’s one word for it,” Cat muttered.
“So it wasn’t just me,” Lister said. His shoulders drooped. “I’ll see you later.”
Rimmer reached out as he awoke, hoping that it hadn’t all been a dream. When he couldn’t find Lister he sat up, blinking rapidly. Then it hit him. He was alone. Again.
He pulled the blanket over his lap as he swivelled around. His eyes swept over the clothes littering the floor, a trail from the door to the bed. There was the proof that it had really happened, and that he had been abandoned. If it wasn’t so mortifying and heart-breaking…
He was fretting so much that he didn’t even notice Lister’s return until a hand touched his shoulder. He jerked away automatically, clutching the sheet higher as he looked up. It was a relief when he saw who it was.
“Where were you?” he blurted out.
“In the cockpit.” Lister blushed. “Uh, I was just checking on things.”
“Oh.” He smiled down at his lap. So he hadn’t been cast off. “I…”
“I’m so sorry, Arnold.”
“What?” The smile disappeared. “Why?”
“This shouldn’t have happened.” Lister covered his eyes. “I’m really embarrassed now. It was just that…”
Rimmer stared at him, not hearing his words. It was a good thing holograms couldn’t cry; even better that he hadn’t told him how he really felt. It may not have meant anything to Lister, but it meant everything to him. No amount of apologies could fix this.
“Could you… could you look away?” he asked, interrupting Lister’s babble. “I need to get dressed.”
“Y-yeah, man. Of course.”
Rimmer’s mind kept yelling at his body to hurry up, but it felt like he was moving through molasses. He wanted to throw himself at Lister, beg him not to do this, even order him as the superior officer. There was no point, though. No smegging point.
“I’ll be going then,” he said. He straightened his shirt as he slipped past Lister and out the door.
Legion’s device helped them find Red Dwarf within days. It was surprisingly uninhabited, and it took a while to coax Holly out. He was back to his original face, only it was redder than usual.
“Gordon Bennett, can’t a computer get some rest around here?” he complained, his first words to them.
“You have had over two hundred years of rest,” Rimmer said. He was scowling at the computer. “Mind telling us what happened?”
“See you can touch things,” Holly said, eyes shifting back and forth.
“Don’t avoid the question, you senile old pile of pixels and programming!”
“Nice alliteration, sir,” Kryten said.
Rimmer’s glare intensified. “Shut it, you gimboid. Holly, where have you been all this time?”
“So much for being chummy,” Cat said, elbowing Lister.
“Well, it was like this,” Holly said. “I thought it was about time to get over Hilly. Decided to change before you came back to make it a nice surprise, see?”
“I don’t know about that, buddy,” Cat said. “It was nice to see a woman’s face that wasn’t trying to trick us, especially a pretty one.”
Holly gave him a withering look. “Never knew you felt that way about me, Cat.” He turned back to Rimmer, who was turning more scarlet every minute. “Long story short, when I changed again it left me a bit disoriented. The Dwarf must’ve drifted. I forgot which direction you’d gone in and went searching. By the time I got back, you were gone.”
“Kryten, remind me to get a computer upgrade sometime very soon,” Rimmer said.
“`Ere, hang on a minute! Don’t you remember Queeg?”
“You invented Queeg,” he said. “Or did you forget that as well?”
Holly frowned, then his expression cleared. “Oh, yeah. That’s right. But the principle’s the same.” Rimmer rolled his eyes as the Cat and Kryten began to relate their various adventures.
Lister tried to pay attention and participate, but he kept glancing at Rimmer. Every time the hologram’s eyes moved in his direction he looked away, and attempted to contribute to the discussion. The memories of their time together both aroused and disgusted him. The more he thought about it, the more he remembered. Rimmer had said ‘no’ at least once, and he had taken a lot of coaxing to become an active participant. Lister had taken the man he adored against his will, more than once had taken advantage of his fragile emotional state. It was no wonder Rimmer no longer talked to him and avoided touching him. Now that Lister knew he hadn’t been singled out, Rimmer’s bewilderment at the time made so much horrible sense.
“So you two are finally together, then?”
His eyes snapped up to see Holly looking at both of them.
“What?” Rimmer asked, swivelling around on the chair.
“Gordon Bennett, I made you into a hologram, didn’t I?” The ‘blood’ left Rimmer’s face. “I’ve known all along that you were in love with Dave, ages before he went into the stasis chamber. Arn, is something wrong?” He looked at Lister. “I thought… well, you kept looking at each other. I thought you were together.”
Rimmer tensed. It was Lister’s only clue that he was about to flee, and he barely made it to the door in time.
“Wait, man,” he said, holding the hologram’s arm in a death grip. Holly’s apologies and excuses were background noise as he turned Rimmer around.
“It shouldn’t be any surprise,” he muttered. “Not after the other day.”
“Then why did you kiss all of us like that?” Lister asked.
“Like what? I only kissed them on the cheek,” he replied. “You were different.”
“I was different?”
“Always.” It came out as a tremulous whisper, but they all heard it.
“Thank God,” Lister said, cupping Rimmer’s face and pulling him into a desperate kiss.
Holly made fireworks appear on his screen, Kryten sniffled and wiped his eyes in joy, and the Cat grinned.
“Hey, you know what?” he said. “They can’t have kids. Isn’t that great?”
“Why do you say that, sir?” Kryten asked, trying to recover from the romantic display. It was like something from an episode of Androids.
“Even I can’t rock the ‘baby vomit’ look.”
“It won’t stop them from trying,” Holly said. The kiss was still going, and it was getting more intense.
“Wait a moment,” Cat said. “When they were missing the other day, you don’t think they were… in the shared bedroom?” Kryten looked away, clearly remembering the laundry. The Cat yowled, making everybody jump. “I knew I smelt something funny! I need a long, long shower! I’ll see you monkeys sometime next week.” As he passed Lister and Rimmer, still holding each other, he glared at them. “Don’t you have a room of your own?” They nodded. “Then use it!”
“Will do,” Lister said. He led Rimmer away, holding his hand. Rimmer smiled goofily.
“Thanks, Holly!” he called. “Kryten, cancel that upgrade!”
Here's the fic!
“Hard Light”
The morning after they left Legion behind, Arnold Rimmer awoke to the proper sensation of sheets beneath his bare legs and hands. He could almost believe that he would find creases in his cheek from the pillowcase.
Slowly, he sat up. His naked feet hit the floor with two soft thunks, and he marvelled at the things he had barely experienced in the past few years, let alone the last three million-odd years. (Very odd, come to that.)
Right now, finding Red Dwarf was secondary. Those other times he had ‘felt’, the privilege had been taken away so soon, and he only had bad memories associated with them. He was determined to make the most of this before it was stolen from him yet again.
Over the few years with his crew-mates, he had come to treasure something more than food, drink, and similar material pleasures. Something meant - mattered - more to him now, and that was touch. And one person in particular.
An hour later Rimmer had chosen an outfit. With his new feelings of liberation and carpe diem, he had chosen jeans, a dark green t-shirt, and his favourite sneakers. There wasn’t enough room for proper exercise on the Starbug, but space boots would undoubtedly look too formal.
“Holly, where is everyone?” he asked. Then he remembered. It had been automatic. In his excitement, he had completely forgotten that Holly was still on the missing ship.
He sighed. Well, he knew where Kryten would be, at least. Then he would take it from there.
“Oh! Good morning, sir,” Kryten said. He paused in his laundry-folding. “Is there something I can do for you?”
“It’s a beautiful day, my friend,” Rimmer said, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “Isn’t life a wonderful thing? I mean, even after death there is life. Brilliant!”
“Uh, yes, sir,” Kryten said, shifting a little. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Hard light, Kryten. Kryters, my old friend. I feel like we’re truly brothers now.” He was grinning stupidly. “We are better than alive! We are tactile, yet indestructible.” The mechanoid just stared at him. “Well, I can’t stay around and chat all day. Must go and find the others.”
To Kryten’s amazement, Rimmer turned him into a proper hug, kissed him on both cheeks, then virtually skipped out of the room, headed for the cockpit.
“Good morning… Cat!” Rimmer chirped as soon as he saw who was in the pilot’s chair. “Lovely day, isn’t it? God, don’t you just love space?”
“More and more,” Cat said, leaning away as Rimmer stood beside him. “What’s up with you, bud?”
“Bud.” Rimmer was rocking back and forth, hands clasped behind his back and still smiling. “That’s right. We’re all friends. Buddies. Pals. Yes, life is truly marvellous.”
“Have you eaten any triple-strength catnip lately, Goalpost Head? `Cause you’re acting weird.”
The hologram laughed. “Ah, one of your amusing nicknames for me. That shows true friendship, doesn’t it? We really must get to know each other better.”
With those words he yanked Cat out of his seat into an enthusiastic, back-slapping hug. He only had time to kiss one cheek before the Cat shoved him away and cowered in the chair.
“Not that much better,” he said, hackles reaching for the sky faster than someone at gun-point. Rimmer frowned for a few seconds, then it dawned on him, and he laughed again.
“I don’t mean like that, matey,” he said. “But I’m flattered.”
Still in good humour, he saluted Cat, and then sauntered out of the cockpit, leaving his feline crew-mate wiping his cheek.
Rimmer bumped into Lister in the hallway.
“Don’t you look chipper,” Lister said. “Buzzed about the hard-light light bee?”
“I know something’s bound to happen to ruin things for me again, so I’m taking advantage of this while I still can. Oh, Listy, it’s the best thing that’s happened to me since… well, since I met you.”
Still on a high, he embraced Lister last of all. However, when he pulled back he followed his feelings, and instead touched his lips to Lister’s. It was meant to be brief - likely to be his only kiss with the man, he wanted it to matter more - and he tried to step away.
Dave Lister had something else in mind.
Rimmer’s back met the corridor wall, but a hand buried in his short, curly hair protected his head from injury. It was unnecessary, but very nice. Very nice indeed. Much like the lips now attacking the corners of his mouth, and the other hand caressing his side. It made him feel precious; it made him feel wanted.
“Lister?” he murmured as soon as his mouth was free.
“Call me Dave.”
“Uh, Dave…”
“Been wantin’ this for ages, man. But not out here.”
“N-no. List… I mean, Dave…”
“C’mon. Don’t want to wait, do yeh?”
Not pausing for an answer, he dragged Rimmer the short distance to their bedroom. He shut the door, and then pushed the hologram into the metal. Once again, Rimmer found himself being kissed fiercely. Their tongues met within moments, and he gasped into Lister’s mouth as he felt hands tug at his trousers.
Smeg, he thought.
Lister awoke disoriented. A glance at the clock showed that he had an hour before he was due to take over from the Cat, unless anything came up.
At his last thought he almost chuckled. Rimmer’s arm was still lying across his body, his head tucked onto Lister’s shoulder. The warmth of hard-light could almost convince him that his lover was only a hologram. But there was that distinctive ‘H’ on the pale forehead, and he sighed.
For all his jokes about Rimmer being the coward on the ship, he had shown a lot of bravery in making the first move. Enlightened twenty-third century guy Lister may be, but that meant nothing when the man he loved… well, hated him. It looked like this wasn’t the case, though. A dopey smile graced Lister’s face as he stroked Rimmer’s bare back. Now he could finally confess his feelings, something he hadn’t actually done yet.
If he wanted to spend more time with Rimmer, he would have to check to see if everything was going all right, just in case he had been called while he was asleep, or too busy to notice.
“I’ll be back soon,” he whispered, and he kissed the hologram just above his mark. He gently moved the arm and stray leg aside, stood as quietly as possible, and pulled his clothes on. Grateful - for once - that he didn’t have to ask Holly to open the door, he sneaked out and went to the cockpit.
“Hey,” he said. Kryten and Cat were running things well, apparently. “How are things?”
“Creepy,” Cat said, and he shuddered. “The smeghead’s gone space crazy!”
“What d’you mean?”
“Well, sir, he’s been going around the ship, hugging everyone,” Kryten told him.
“R-really?”
“And kissing us, too,” Cat said, making a face. “I still can’t get rid of the feeling.”
“He… he kissed you?” Lister asked. It was a good thing Kryten and Cat were facing forwards, or they would have seen his stricken expression.
“Both of us,” Kryten said. “Took us quite by surprise.”
“That’s one word for it,” Cat muttered.
“So it wasn’t just me,” Lister said. His shoulders drooped. “I’ll see you later.”
Rimmer reached out as he awoke, hoping that it hadn’t all been a dream. When he couldn’t find Lister he sat up, blinking rapidly. Then it hit him. He was alone. Again.
He pulled the blanket over his lap as he swivelled around. His eyes swept over the clothes littering the floor, a trail from the door to the bed. There was the proof that it had really happened, and that he had been abandoned. If it wasn’t so mortifying and heart-breaking…
He was fretting so much that he didn’t even notice Lister’s return until a hand touched his shoulder. He jerked away automatically, clutching the sheet higher as he looked up. It was a relief when he saw who it was.
“Where were you?” he blurted out.
“In the cockpit.” Lister blushed. “Uh, I was just checking on things.”
“Oh.” He smiled down at his lap. So he hadn’t been cast off. “I…”
“I’m so sorry, Arnold.”
“What?” The smile disappeared. “Why?”
“This shouldn’t have happened.” Lister covered his eyes. “I’m really embarrassed now. It was just that…”
Rimmer stared at him, not hearing his words. It was a good thing holograms couldn’t cry; even better that he hadn’t told him how he really felt. It may not have meant anything to Lister, but it meant everything to him. No amount of apologies could fix this.
“Could you… could you look away?” he asked, interrupting Lister’s babble. “I need to get dressed.”
“Y-yeah, man. Of course.”
Rimmer’s mind kept yelling at his body to hurry up, but it felt like he was moving through molasses. He wanted to throw himself at Lister, beg him not to do this, even order him as the superior officer. There was no point, though. No smegging point.
“I’ll be going then,” he said. He straightened his shirt as he slipped past Lister and out the door.
Legion’s device helped them find Red Dwarf within days. It was surprisingly uninhabited, and it took a while to coax Holly out. He was back to his original face, only it was redder than usual.
“Gordon Bennett, can’t a computer get some rest around here?” he complained, his first words to them.
“You have had over two hundred years of rest,” Rimmer said. He was scowling at the computer. “Mind telling us what happened?”
“See you can touch things,” Holly said, eyes shifting back and forth.
“Don’t avoid the question, you senile old pile of pixels and programming!”
“Nice alliteration, sir,” Kryten said.
Rimmer’s glare intensified. “Shut it, you gimboid. Holly, where have you been all this time?”
“So much for being chummy,” Cat said, elbowing Lister.
“Well, it was like this,” Holly said. “I thought it was about time to get over Hilly. Decided to change before you came back to make it a nice surprise, see?”
“I don’t know about that, buddy,” Cat said. “It was nice to see a woman’s face that wasn’t trying to trick us, especially a pretty one.”
Holly gave him a withering look. “Never knew you felt that way about me, Cat.” He turned back to Rimmer, who was turning more scarlet every minute. “Long story short, when I changed again it left me a bit disoriented. The Dwarf must’ve drifted. I forgot which direction you’d gone in and went searching. By the time I got back, you were gone.”
“Kryten, remind me to get a computer upgrade sometime very soon,” Rimmer said.
“`Ere, hang on a minute! Don’t you remember Queeg?”
“You invented Queeg,” he said. “Or did you forget that as well?”
Holly frowned, then his expression cleared. “Oh, yeah. That’s right. But the principle’s the same.” Rimmer rolled his eyes as the Cat and Kryten began to relate their various adventures.
Lister tried to pay attention and participate, but he kept glancing at Rimmer. Every time the hologram’s eyes moved in his direction he looked away, and attempted to contribute to the discussion. The memories of their time together both aroused and disgusted him. The more he thought about it, the more he remembered. Rimmer had said ‘no’ at least once, and he had taken a lot of coaxing to become an active participant. Lister had taken the man he adored against his will, more than once had taken advantage of his fragile emotional state. It was no wonder Rimmer no longer talked to him and avoided touching him. Now that Lister knew he hadn’t been singled out, Rimmer’s bewilderment at the time made so much horrible sense.
“So you two are finally together, then?”
His eyes snapped up to see Holly looking at both of them.
“What?” Rimmer asked, swivelling around on the chair.
“Gordon Bennett, I made you into a hologram, didn’t I?” The ‘blood’ left Rimmer’s face. “I’ve known all along that you were in love with Dave, ages before he went into the stasis chamber. Arn, is something wrong?” He looked at Lister. “I thought… well, you kept looking at each other. I thought you were together.”
Rimmer tensed. It was Lister’s only clue that he was about to flee, and he barely made it to the door in time.
“Wait, man,” he said, holding the hologram’s arm in a death grip. Holly’s apologies and excuses were background noise as he turned Rimmer around.
“It shouldn’t be any surprise,” he muttered. “Not after the other day.”
“Then why did you kiss all of us like that?” Lister asked.
“Like what? I only kissed them on the cheek,” he replied. “You were different.”
“I was different?”
“Always.” It came out as a tremulous whisper, but they all heard it.
“Thank God,” Lister said, cupping Rimmer’s face and pulling him into a desperate kiss.
Holly made fireworks appear on his screen, Kryten sniffled and wiped his eyes in joy, and the Cat grinned.
“Hey, you know what?” he said. “They can’t have kids. Isn’t that great?”
“Why do you say that, sir?” Kryten asked, trying to recover from the romantic display. It was like something from an episode of Androids.
“Even I can’t rock the ‘baby vomit’ look.”
“It won’t stop them from trying,” Holly said. The kiss was still going, and it was getting more intense.
“Wait a moment,” Cat said. “When they were missing the other day, you don’t think they were… in the shared bedroom?” Kryten looked away, clearly remembering the laundry. The Cat yowled, making everybody jump. “I knew I smelt something funny! I need a long, long shower! I’ll see you monkeys sometime next week.” As he passed Lister and Rimmer, still holding each other, he glared at them. “Don’t you have a room of your own?” They nodded. “Then use it!”
“Will do,” Lister said. He led Rimmer away, holding his hand. Rimmer smiled goofily.
“Thanks, Holly!” he called. “Kryten, cancel that upgrade!”