[Fandom] SIGH.
Okay, so, last night I finished my reread of Kushiel's Dart and started my reread of Kushiel's Chosen, and I'm not even through the third chapter and I'm feeling like I might have to skip ahead to the Little Court (I've promised myself that this time I WILL read the parts between La Dolorosa and Phedre's return to La Serenissima), unless I want to die of a massive coronary or something.
Joscelin. Joscelin. I don't know why, but it seems like every time I reread Chosen, he pisses me off even more than the last time. It's so bad this time I'm actually afraid I might send myself into some sort of fit in my rage. Because the more I read these books, the less I understand why the fuck he's acting this way.
I can get the jealousy. I can accept that, despite having made Cassiel's Choice in the previous book, he hasn't quite reconciled himself to the idea of what being with Phedre really means in terms of her being a Servant of Naamah, and especially one pricked by Kushiel's Dart. I get that he thought that once they were together, once he'd sacrificed so much for her, that she would simply be with him, and would never want to be with anyone else. It's inevitable, having been brainwashed by the Brotherhood, that he wouldn't be able to understand the depths and intricacies of Naamah's service, or that one may be an active Servant of Naamah and still love their partner fiercely. In Dart, I think Joscelin believes he understands, being a priest, but he can't really understand, what with the beliefs pushed on him and ingrained in him since he was ten. They're simply not compatible.
(The systematic brainwashing of little boys by the Cassilines is another post, btw.)
What I can't get is that he also seems to... I don't know, be upset that she's putting herself in danger? I'll have to force myself to reread everything between now and the Little Court scenes in order to refresh my memory, but I really do remember a lot of it being her choice to go to La Serenissima in the first place, and to pursue Melisande. I suppose that could also be jealousy, because he knows the effect Melisande has on Phedre, and knows that he'll never have that effect on her. But I remember there also being this sense of him being frustrated and angry with her simply because she's doing this, and pushing him to follow her, and straining his vow to protect and serve by constantly putting herself in situations where she'll be in danger and he'll have to rise to the occasion.
And it's like... dude, seriously? You're pissed at her because she's actually making you keep your vow? I mean, okay, sure, the number of times might be a bit excessive, but still. You made the vow, you made Cassiel's Choice in order to keep it despite the will of the Cassiline Prefect. Now you're going to whine because you actually have to do something about it?
=.=
I will be so happy once all the bullshit is done and Phedre comes back from the "dead" and Joscelin stops being an asshole.
This entry was originally posted at http://celestineangel.dreamwidth.org/415126.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Joscelin. Joscelin. I don't know why, but it seems like every time I reread Chosen, he pisses me off even more than the last time. It's so bad this time I'm actually afraid I might send myself into some sort of fit in my rage. Because the more I read these books, the less I understand why the fuck he's acting this way.
I can get the jealousy. I can accept that, despite having made Cassiel's Choice in the previous book, he hasn't quite reconciled himself to the idea of what being with Phedre really means in terms of her being a Servant of Naamah, and especially one pricked by Kushiel's Dart. I get that he thought that once they were together, once he'd sacrificed so much for her, that she would simply be with him, and would never want to be with anyone else. It's inevitable, having been brainwashed by the Brotherhood, that he wouldn't be able to understand the depths and intricacies of Naamah's service, or that one may be an active Servant of Naamah and still love their partner fiercely. In Dart, I think Joscelin believes he understands, being a priest, but he can't really understand, what with the beliefs pushed on him and ingrained in him since he was ten. They're simply not compatible.
(The systematic brainwashing of little boys by the Cassilines is another post, btw.)
What I can't get is that he also seems to... I don't know, be upset that she's putting herself in danger? I'll have to force myself to reread everything between now and the Little Court scenes in order to refresh my memory, but I really do remember a lot of it being her choice to go to La Serenissima in the first place, and to pursue Melisande. I suppose that could also be jealousy, because he knows the effect Melisande has on Phedre, and knows that he'll never have that effect on her. But I remember there also being this sense of him being frustrated and angry with her simply because she's doing this, and pushing him to follow her, and straining his vow to protect and serve by constantly putting herself in situations where she'll be in danger and he'll have to rise to the occasion.
And it's like... dude, seriously? You're pissed at her because she's actually making you keep your vow? I mean, okay, sure, the number of times might be a bit excessive, but still. You made the vow, you made Cassiel's Choice in order to keep it despite the will of the Cassiline Prefect. Now you're going to whine because you actually have to do something about it?
=.=
I will be so happy once all the bullshit is done and Phedre comes back from the "dead" and Joscelin stops being an asshole.
This entry was originally posted at http://celestineangel.dreamwidth.org/415126.html. Please comment there using OpenID.