[Movies] Avatar
So the plan to do nothing but study has been pretty much nonexistant the past couple of days. After work today I go bridesmaid dress shopping with my fellow bridesmaids, and last night I went to see Avatar with chrisbrad because if I didn't, I probably would never find the time.
So.
JAKE: Hi, I'm Jake, and I'll be your narrator for the evening.
GUYS IN SUITS: Jake, say goodbye to your twin brother as we cremate him. It's so sad he's gone, but, well, he cost us a lot of money so would you consider please taking his place in this mission since you are his twin and everything. Please. Without coersion.
JAKE: ... k.
PANDORA: *IS PRETTEH*
GENERAL GUY: *IS UGLEH* We're here to mine the shit out of this planet.
JAKE: Hi, I'm Jake, I'll be taking over for my bro--
GRACE: DAMN IT WHY CAN'T WE HAVE YOUR BROTHER???
JAKE: Uh... he's dead.
GRACE: SCREW YOU AND SCREW THIS AND SCREW YOU MILITARY TYPES. WE'RE HERE TO STUDY THIS PLANET!
Me: Wow, she's charming.
chrisbrad: I like her.
GRACE: Okay, Jarhead, get in the damn pod.
JAKE: *wakes up as Na'vi and WHEEE HAS LEGS AGAIN and freaks everyone out*
[The next day, or next week, or whenever]
GRACE-AVATAR: Oh look, cool stuff that we will never elaborate on!
OTHER GUY-AVATAR: YAY!
JAKE-AVATAR: *plays around with local fauna*
3-D: *POPS!*
PANDORA: *IS PRETTEH* ... *IS DEADLEH*
JAKE-AVATAR: SHIIIIIIT.
NAYTIRI: KILL!
EYWA: Um... no.
NAYTIRI: ... okay, you stupid child-man, come with me to my home tree where I will show you to everyone and obviously something momentus will happen. But I don't like you. Moron.
JAKE-AVATAR: Wheeeee, pretty lights!
CHIEF: KILL!
CHIEF-TO-BE: KILL!
SHAMAN LADY: No. Naytiri, you get to babysit this guy and teach him our ways.
NAYTIRI: FUCK.
JAKE-AVATAR: Yay! *HUNTS!* *FALLS OFF LIZARD-HORSE!* *MAKES IDIOT OF SELF!* *FLIES A FLYING LIZARD!* *LEARNS STUFF!* *BETRAYS NA'VI!* *FALLS IN LOVE!*
NAYTIRI: *FALLS IN LOVE!*
BIG BAD HUMANS: Let's show these savages ("SAVAGES! SAVAGES!") we mean business.
BULLDOZERS: *BULLDOZE!*
JAKE-AVATAR: ... shiiit.
CHIEF-TO-BE: YOU MATED THIS WOMAN?!?
GRACE: OH SHIT.
JAKE-AVATAR: Um, sorry, but, I sort of made this happen?
NAYTIRI: I HATE YOU!
BIG BAD HUMANS: *BLOW THE SHIT OUT OF THE NA'VI HOMETREE*
NA'VI: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN???
CHIEF: *DIES*
JAKE-AVATAR: Sorry!
NAYTIRI: I HATE YOU GO AWAY! FOREVER.
GENERAL: *unplugs Grace and Jake* Thanks for helping up get rid of the savages ("SAVAGES! SAVAGES!"), Jake. Great help, there.
PILOT LADY: Come on, Grace, Jake, and Guy, let's get out of here because I've seen the error of the General's ways!
[JAKE, GRACE, GUY and PILOT LADY ALL ESCAPE... WITH EXTRA AVATAR PODS, OF COURSE]
GRACE: *is shot... woe*
JAKE: If I'm gonna win their trust back so maybe they'll heal Grace, I need to be the biggest, baddest motherfucker on the block. *CATCHES AND TAMES BIGGEST, BADDEST FLYING LIZARD MOTHERFUCKER ON THE BLOCK*
NA'VI: *PRAY*
JAKE-AVATAR: *BADASSES*
NA'VI: OH MY EYWA HE'S OBVIOUSLY OUR SAVIOUR!
NAYTIRI: I love you again!
JAKE-AVATAR: Okay that's great, can we heal Grace now?
NA'VI: *PRAY!*
GRACE: *DIES!* *BUT FORESHADOWS JAKE'S EVENTUAL FATE!*
JAKE-AVATAR: LET'S GET THE BASTARDS.
[And because I'm no cleolinda, am tired of this and we all know how this goes: Jake leads the Na'vi to victory, the General dies a rightfully earned painful death, the Na'vi repay Jake by helping him enter his Na'vi body permanently, and the "aliens" (i.e. humans) are driven from Pandora 4EVA--except for the chosen few. THE END.]
PANDORA: *IS PRETTEH*
Conversation chrisbrad and I had immediately leaving the theatre:
Me: ... um... was it just me or... were all the Na'vi voiced by black people?
chrisbrad: Was it just me, or were all the people shooting white people?
Both: ... yeah.
Avatar is pretty, definitely, and worth a watch for the pretty alone. The Na'vi are pretty extraordinary, very well-done, though for me they never quite make it to total realism. I always felt as though I were watching live-action people interact with cartoons. There are moments when Naytiri or Jake in his Avatar body do something so extraordinarily human that they come so close to realism... but most of the time they're short of that mark.
But preachy, oh man. This movie has enough preach in it for the past two hundred years. Seriously. The Na'vi all seem to be voiced by black actors, and speak English with African accents. The vast, vast majority of the invading humans are white, and of the non-white soldiers we see, the only two that are of any importance defect from the "big bad humans" side to help Jake and the Na'vi.
On one hand, you've got this nice twist of the old "alien force comes to planet to kill the indigenous and take over" story, because usually that planet is Earth and we're the ones fighting to survive. In Avatar, we are the invading aliens. Okay, great.
But what Cameron has done is classic "Noble Savage," which has been noticed and discussed before by many people smarter and more eloquent than I am. I just didn't notice anyone else talking about the choice of voice actors for the Na'vi and the casting for the invading humans, because seriously. Seriously. In the crowds of soldiers, I'm sure there were one or two or maybe even three non-white soldiers, but that's about it. So it's come down to: white people are bad invaders, and non-white people are noble, noble savages who guard and defend nature and the ways of good and righteousness. Because Dances with Wolves didn't get that message through well enough.
Honestly, if you're wanting a movie about how humans, as a whole race, are terrible people who treat anyone who is different as non-beings... rent District 9. That movie does it better.
Um... well... I didn't mean for that to be a review, but it sort of turned in to one.
Tonight, dress shopping! After that... school, damn it.
So.
JAKE: Hi, I'm Jake, and I'll be your narrator for the evening.
GUYS IN SUITS: Jake, say goodbye to your twin brother as we cremate him. It's so sad he's gone, but, well, he cost us a lot of money so would you consider please taking his place in this mission since you are his twin and everything. Please. Without coersion.
JAKE: ... k.
PANDORA: *IS PRETTEH*
GENERAL GUY: *IS UGLEH* We're here to mine the shit out of this planet.
JAKE: Hi, I'm Jake, I'll be taking over for my bro--
GRACE: DAMN IT WHY CAN'T WE HAVE YOUR BROTHER???
JAKE: Uh... he's dead.
GRACE: SCREW YOU AND SCREW THIS AND SCREW YOU MILITARY TYPES. WE'RE HERE TO STUDY THIS PLANET!
Me: Wow, she's charming.
chrisbrad: I like her.
GRACE: Okay, Jarhead, get in the damn pod.
JAKE: *wakes up as Na'vi and WHEEE HAS LEGS AGAIN and freaks everyone out*
[The next day, or next week, or whenever]
GRACE-AVATAR: Oh look, cool stuff that we will never elaborate on!
OTHER GUY-AVATAR: YAY!
JAKE-AVATAR: *plays around with local fauna*
3-D: *POPS!*
PANDORA: *IS PRETTEH* ... *IS DEADLEH*
JAKE-AVATAR: SHIIIIIIT.
NAYTIRI: KILL!
EYWA: Um... no.
NAYTIRI: ... okay, you stupid child-man, come with me to my home tree where I will show you to everyone and obviously something momentus will happen. But I don't like you. Moron.
JAKE-AVATAR: Wheeeee, pretty lights!
CHIEF: KILL!
CHIEF-TO-BE: KILL!
SHAMAN LADY: No. Naytiri, you get to babysit this guy and teach him our ways.
NAYTIRI: FUCK.
JAKE-AVATAR: Yay! *HUNTS!* *FALLS OFF LIZARD-HORSE!* *MAKES IDIOT OF SELF!* *FLIES A FLYING LIZARD!* *LEARNS STUFF!* *BETRAYS NA'VI!* *FALLS IN LOVE!*
NAYTIRI: *FALLS IN LOVE!*
BIG BAD HUMANS: Let's show these savages ("SAVAGES! SAVAGES!") we mean business.
BULLDOZERS: *BULLDOZE!*
JAKE-AVATAR: ... shiiit.
CHIEF-TO-BE: YOU MATED THIS WOMAN?!?
GRACE: OH SHIT.
JAKE-AVATAR: Um, sorry, but, I sort of made this happen?
NAYTIRI: I HATE YOU!
BIG BAD HUMANS: *BLOW THE SHIT OUT OF THE NA'VI HOMETREE*
NA'VI: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN???
CHIEF: *DIES*
JAKE-AVATAR: Sorry!
NAYTIRI: I HATE YOU GO AWAY! FOREVER.
GENERAL: *unplugs Grace and Jake* Thanks for helping up get rid of the savages ("SAVAGES! SAVAGES!"), Jake. Great help, there.
PILOT LADY: Come on, Grace, Jake, and Guy, let's get out of here because I've seen the error of the General's ways!
[JAKE, GRACE, GUY and PILOT LADY ALL ESCAPE... WITH EXTRA AVATAR PODS, OF COURSE]
GRACE: *is shot... woe*
JAKE: If I'm gonna win their trust back so maybe they'll heal Grace, I need to be the biggest, baddest motherfucker on the block. *CATCHES AND TAMES BIGGEST, BADDEST FLYING LIZARD MOTHERFUCKER ON THE BLOCK*
NA'VI: *PRAY*
JAKE-AVATAR: *BADASSES*
NA'VI: OH MY EYWA HE'S OBVIOUSLY OUR SAVIOUR!
NAYTIRI: I love you again!
JAKE-AVATAR: Okay that's great, can we heal Grace now?
NA'VI: *PRAY!*
GRACE: *DIES!* *BUT FORESHADOWS JAKE'S EVENTUAL FATE!*
JAKE-AVATAR: LET'S GET THE BASTARDS.
[And because I'm no cleolinda, am tired of this and we all know how this goes: Jake leads the Na'vi to victory, the General dies a rightfully earned painful death, the Na'vi repay Jake by helping him enter his Na'vi body permanently, and the "aliens" (i.e. humans) are driven from Pandora 4EVA--except for the chosen few. THE END.]
PANDORA: *IS PRETTEH*
Conversation chrisbrad and I had immediately leaving the theatre:
Me: ... um... was it just me or... were all the Na'vi voiced by black people?
chrisbrad: Was it just me, or were all the people shooting white people?
Both: ... yeah.
Avatar is pretty, definitely, and worth a watch for the pretty alone. The Na'vi are pretty extraordinary, very well-done, though for me they never quite make it to total realism. I always felt as though I were watching live-action people interact with cartoons. There are moments when Naytiri or Jake in his Avatar body do something so extraordinarily human that they come so close to realism... but most of the time they're short of that mark.
But preachy, oh man. This movie has enough preach in it for the past two hundred years. Seriously. The Na'vi all seem to be voiced by black actors, and speak English with African accents. The vast, vast majority of the invading humans are white, and of the non-white soldiers we see, the only two that are of any importance defect from the "big bad humans" side to help Jake and the Na'vi.
On one hand, you've got this nice twist of the old "alien force comes to planet to kill the indigenous and take over" story, because usually that planet is Earth and we're the ones fighting to survive. In Avatar, we are the invading aliens. Okay, great.
But what Cameron has done is classic "Noble Savage," which has been noticed and discussed before by many people smarter and more eloquent than I am. I just didn't notice anyone else talking about the choice of voice actors for the Na'vi and the casting for the invading humans, because seriously. Seriously. In the crowds of soldiers, I'm sure there were one or two or maybe even three non-white soldiers, but that's about it. So it's come down to: white people are bad invaders, and non-white people are noble, noble savages who guard and defend nature and the ways of good and righteousness. Because Dances with Wolves didn't get that message through well enough.
Honestly, if you're wanting a movie about how humans, as a whole race, are terrible people who treat anyone who is different as non-beings... rent District 9. That movie does it better.
Um... well... I didn't mean for that to be a review, but it sort of turned in to one.
Tonight, dress shopping! After that... school, damn it.