SMAP Fic: An Angel's Heart
Title: An Angel's Heart
Disclaimer: I wish I own them, but unfortunately, I don't.
Rating: G
lols, thanks t castelfranca or her wonderful ShinTsuyo fic that helped fuel this one.
~o0o~
If there’s one thing that hurts more than singing a song about a doomed love, it is singing a love song when love itself is being cruel to you.
‘I wonder if I can find that one. Hahahaha. Is it impossible? Arriving home in an empty house, eating dinner all by myself, how long has it been like this? I don’t know… No one to talk to, no one to laugh with, I guess this is my life…’
‘I often get asked when I plan to settle down and as usual I laugh it off like it’s a joke. But no, inside I treat it seriously. I want to get married, I really do, but there’s this gnawing fear in me that I may not be able to handle it. I’m not smart nor strong enough to hold you, I am flawed human being who had been into the worst scenarios possible. I’m not a lion, no matter how much I think of it, I’m just me…’
Singing with all your heart about a love you don’t have, a love you can’t grasp, maybe that’s what makes the song even more beautiful? The sorrow that highlights the happiness of the song, a proof that everything has two sides, and whenever happiness is present, there will always be loneliness. Always.
‘They’ve said I was too young to feel love. But that it was real right? The smiles, the time we spent together was real. It was love. But then it had to end, and I thought my life would go with it but I’m still here, and there are times when I think: What could’ve been if we’re together? And it hurts that I will never know the answer. Do you know that every time I put my hand over my chest I’m thinking of you? Do you know that whenever I shout ‘I love you’ I wish that the words will reach you? ’
‘If only I can hold you. If only I can tell you how much I love you. Well, you already know it, I’ve told you right? And you just laughed and went with it. Sometimes I think, I feel that in your heart you know that I’m serious about my feelings for you and even though you don’t feel the same you’ve decided to stay by my side. After all, that’s what friends are for right? I know it’s not pity that drives you to stay with me, and I thank you for that. But that same kindness is breaking me apart because even though you’re here, I see in your eyes the one that really holds your heart, and it’s not me, it’s never been me.’
Sometimes, Love will let you have your way but with a few conditions: What if the one you love is there, just there and yet you can’t shout it to the world? And so you sing, your voice cries for your heart and the joy that should be there echoes like a lamentation instead. Gathering up every power you have just to let that message out, so that even with a song you can say to the world: “this is for the person I love.”
‘I love you. You’re everything to me. If only I can hold you right now, as I sing this song for you. But you can hear me right? This is for you, for the one who have sacrificed much for someone like me. I know I’m a pretty bad catch but still you love me as I am. I can’t apologize enough that you’ve had a hard time because you chose to stay with me, and at the same time, I want to thank you because you chose me. If I can never convey my love for you properly in this lifetime, then let me search for you, let me find you again because you’re the only one I want forever.’
One song, five voices echoing five hearts. Yes, the song in itself is beautiful, but when different thoughts pour in, when varying feelings fly from the soul and out in the air, the song becomes a message. The song celebrates love but to think that within every note is a wounded soul that still believes in the magic of love. They say that the gift of a good voice is given by the angels, who alone can sing in front of the Creator’s throne. And thinking about it, yeah, this song is aptly named. Because even if it’s just for this song, the voices sound like those heavenly creatures, of angels singing out the contents of their heart.
~o0o~
A/N: This is actually all because my sleep deprived brain suddenly noticed something: there's something about Captain's singing during Angel Heart. I dunno but at that moment my brain went: "omg, he's singing it for his wife!!!". I mean, the way he sang the words, his actions, his eyes, everything in him has this intense feeling. And it kinda broke my heart that he can never openly admit how much he loves her. And that's just after I read Ai-chan's fic and the Tsuyo feel is still with me so there (moral lesson: never set foot on the internet when lacking sleep)... And now my muse can rest because she's been running around in my head for the majority of this day
Disclaimer: I wish I own them, but unfortunately, I don't.
Rating: G
lols, thanks t castelfranca or her wonderful ShinTsuyo fic that helped fuel this one.
~o0o~
If there’s one thing that hurts more than singing a song about a doomed love, it is singing a love song when love itself is being cruel to you.
‘I wonder if I can find that one. Hahahaha. Is it impossible? Arriving home in an empty house, eating dinner all by myself, how long has it been like this? I don’t know… No one to talk to, no one to laugh with, I guess this is my life…’
‘I often get asked when I plan to settle down and as usual I laugh it off like it’s a joke. But no, inside I treat it seriously. I want to get married, I really do, but there’s this gnawing fear in me that I may not be able to handle it. I’m not smart nor strong enough to hold you, I am flawed human being who had been into the worst scenarios possible. I’m not a lion, no matter how much I think of it, I’m just me…’
Singing with all your heart about a love you don’t have, a love you can’t grasp, maybe that’s what makes the song even more beautiful? The sorrow that highlights the happiness of the song, a proof that everything has two sides, and whenever happiness is present, there will always be loneliness. Always.
‘They’ve said I was too young to feel love. But that it was real right? The smiles, the time we spent together was real. It was love. But then it had to end, and I thought my life would go with it but I’m still here, and there are times when I think: What could’ve been if we’re together? And it hurts that I will never know the answer. Do you know that every time I put my hand over my chest I’m thinking of you? Do you know that whenever I shout ‘I love you’ I wish that the words will reach you? ’
‘If only I can hold you. If only I can tell you how much I love you. Well, you already know it, I’ve told you right? And you just laughed and went with it. Sometimes I think, I feel that in your heart you know that I’m serious about my feelings for you and even though you don’t feel the same you’ve decided to stay by my side. After all, that’s what friends are for right? I know it’s not pity that drives you to stay with me, and I thank you for that. But that same kindness is breaking me apart because even though you’re here, I see in your eyes the one that really holds your heart, and it’s not me, it’s never been me.’
Sometimes, Love will let you have your way but with a few conditions: What if the one you love is there, just there and yet you can’t shout it to the world? And so you sing, your voice cries for your heart and the joy that should be there echoes like a lamentation instead. Gathering up every power you have just to let that message out, so that even with a song you can say to the world: “this is for the person I love.”
‘I love you. You’re everything to me. If only I can hold you right now, as I sing this song for you. But you can hear me right? This is for you, for the one who have sacrificed much for someone like me. I know I’m a pretty bad catch but still you love me as I am. I can’t apologize enough that you’ve had a hard time because you chose to stay with me, and at the same time, I want to thank you because you chose me. If I can never convey my love for you properly in this lifetime, then let me search for you, let me find you again because you’re the only one I want forever.’
One song, five voices echoing five hearts. Yes, the song in itself is beautiful, but when different thoughts pour in, when varying feelings fly from the soul and out in the air, the song becomes a message. The song celebrates love but to think that within every note is a wounded soul that still believes in the magic of love. They say that the gift of a good voice is given by the angels, who alone can sing in front of the Creator’s throne. And thinking about it, yeah, this song is aptly named. Because even if it’s just for this song, the voices sound like those heavenly creatures, of angels singing out the contents of their heart.
~o0o~
A/N: This is actually all because my sleep deprived brain suddenly noticed something: there's something about Captain's singing during Angel Heart. I dunno but at that moment my brain went: "omg, he's singing it for his wife!!!". I mean, the way he sang the words, his actions, his eyes, everything in him has this intense feeling. And it kinda broke my heart that he can never openly admit how much he loves her. And that's just after I read Ai-chan's fic and the Tsuyo feel is still with me so there (moral lesson: never set foot on the internet when lacking sleep)... And now my muse can rest because she's been running around in my head for the majority of this day