Sigh...
Life is good. LOL Save the no job for money thing of course. I just wanted to take a moment and thank God for the miricle of love I now have in my life. Michael is the most amazing man I've ever dated. I'm not belittling anyone... I just want to acknowledge the fact that nobody has touched ME in such a profound way before. A fine example is:
Sunday: My grandmother and I joined Michael and his family (Mom, Dad, and brother Danny) at thier church for service. (yes I went to church, and I like it go figure) Anyway, after church let out the family was discussing lunch. As tradition they go to lunch after service. His mother made a point to thank my grandmother for coming and inviting her to eat with them. Michael insisted we come... anyway after that was all decided he asked if we would pose for a picture. In the end his family, my grandmother and myself were all sitting on a nice bench while a kind woman took our photo. Later... Michael explained that he wanted to document the first time my grandmother met his family... that one day I may want to look back on it. I've never known anyone to care about things like that. I've not exactly had "Bad" boyfriends in the past... but I've certainly never had this. I've never been this lucky before... lol... not even CLOSE. He is so selfless, and caring... so warm and full of emotion, he radiates love. I am so lucky, for the first time in my life I have something really beautiful (the relationship with him) and I can't help but think for how long? I don't want to keep thinking this is a temporary thing... I have been so hurt by all the many people who have walked out on me... my mother, foster homes, teachers, friends, Rik... the list is continual... Now in the back of my mind... no matter how diffrent Michael may be... I feel it is only a matter of time until he too says those faitful words I've grown so familuar to. :(
I want to be good enough... I want to be "The One" ... I want the forever I hear so much about... I want it with him... time will tell, I've always been a believer in "Things happen for a reason, the way they are supose to happen, when they are supose to happen." A year from now I'll look back on this post, hopefully in a more emotionally balanced state of mind... for now I take it day by day and work to over come these fears I have. I've been honest about everything... now... Time will tell.
Sunday: My grandmother and I joined Michael and his family (Mom, Dad, and brother Danny) at thier church for service. (yes I went to church, and I like it go figure) Anyway, after church let out the family was discussing lunch. As tradition they go to lunch after service. His mother made a point to thank my grandmother for coming and inviting her to eat with them. Michael insisted we come... anyway after that was all decided he asked if we would pose for a picture. In the end his family, my grandmother and myself were all sitting on a nice bench while a kind woman took our photo. Later... Michael explained that he wanted to document the first time my grandmother met his family... that one day I may want to look back on it. I've never known anyone to care about things like that. I've not exactly had "Bad" boyfriends in the past... but I've certainly never had this. I've never been this lucky before... lol... not even CLOSE. He is so selfless, and caring... so warm and full of emotion, he radiates love. I am so lucky, for the first time in my life I have something really beautiful (the relationship with him) and I can't help but think for how long? I don't want to keep thinking this is a temporary thing... I have been so hurt by all the many people who have walked out on me... my mother, foster homes, teachers, friends, Rik... the list is continual... Now in the back of my mind... no matter how diffrent Michael may be... I feel it is only a matter of time until he too says those faitful words I've grown so familuar to. :(
I want to be good enough... I want to be "The One" ... I want the forever I hear so much about... I want it with him... time will tell, I've always been a believer in "Things happen for a reason, the way they are supose to happen, when they are supose to happen." A year from now I'll look back on this post, hopefully in a more emotionally balanced state of mind... for now I take it day by day and work to over come these fears I have. I've been honest about everything... now... Time will tell.