Self destruct in 10... 9...8...
I'm destroying myself and I don't really know why.
I'm not over-eating or starving myself. Not getting myself into risky situations (unless you count getting on the back of a motorcycle. in [nearly] full gear).
I'm not sleeping.
I'm not studying.
I'm not taking care of my house.
I'm bathing maybe 2 times a week.
I don't even clean the litterboxes more than every few days (keep in mind that I have 3 cats who live inside).
I have nearly maxed my credit cards and have no money in the bank.
But I am getting back into exercising more. Maybe that will help. Went for a 2 hour, 3 mile walk with Phylicia to the bank, motorcycle store, grocery store, and starbucks before returning to do homework which was nearly past due. Ran a few laps in the dog runs with the "Bagels" yesterday morning. Did situps the night before.
Why am I like this? I suspect much has to do with Alex informing me that she is moving out, then telling me she'd pay weekly rent, then taking off to Texas without paying at all. She's back... but hasn't offered a dime. I'm so tired of this shit. I can't wait until she leaves, honestly. I wish I could be more confrontational, I'd tell that bitch exactly what I think of her, and throw her and her shit out.
But I digress, I haven't been sleeping since before that. I've averaged maybe 5 hours of sleep a night since about the 18th of February. I haven't even taken many naps. The stresses of not sleeping and eating well had caused me to have a pregnancy scare, and a MASSIVE breakout. Not fun. I started with the lack of sleeping probably to have more time with Ryan. But I have animal care shifts starting between 6 and 7:30 in the morning many mornings, which means waking up at 5 to 6:30 if I'm there with him, and we don't go to bed until at least 1AM usually closer to 3.
So, that's why I don't sleep when I'm there, but I spend so much time there and so little time sleeping when I AM at my house still. Because my roommates are fucking slobs, hence why I won't miss the one: She's the worst slob of the two, and I have had to chase her on rent (another stressor). The dishes are piled high in the sink, the trash and recycle are overflowing, the counters are littered with plastic ripped off of containers, napkins, and other such papers. I come home, see the mess, and immediately want to leave. Sometimes I do.
I usually end up cleaning the mess after a few days (was up until 4 AM one morning because I couldn't focus on one mess to clean, eventually, I cleaned the floor on my hands and knees among other things). I left the recycle after I was gone a whole weekend until someone took it out. It took a week... recycleables were EVERYWHERE. The laundry room is a disaster. I keep my mess to myself... why can't they? oy. But cleaning, and avoiding looking distracts me, takes up my time, doesn't let me sleep.
I can't focus when the house is a mess. I don't want to sleep, but I don't want to clean. I don't want to do anything.
She'll be gone soon, I hope her replacement is tidy. Or at least tidier.
In other news, Thursday evening begins my spring break of 2 weeks. I'll get some much needed sleep then (I hope). I'll be going to Vegas (and maybe Tahoe) with Ryan next week for his birthday on the 14th and flying back that night to go to Florida with my family the next day for the following week. Ryan has invited me to his cousin's wedding in Texas at the end of April. So YAY! He wants me to meet the family. ^^
Also, I have a house for rent if anyone is interested. 3 bed/2 bath. 1500 Sqft. 2 car carport. new carpet, paint. Washer/dryer and refrigerator included. New faucets. Prefer to rent out the whole house, but rooms may be doable. The rent is about $1000/mo. maybe less depending on the lease contract (one year may bring it down to $900/mo). It will be ready by May. Scottsdale and McKellips in Tempe, near my house (2 minute walk). So it's close to MCC, SCC, ASU, the bars in Scottsdale, Mill Avenue, the airport, 101, 202, etc.
Lemme know if you or anyone you know may be interested.
~JR
I'm not over-eating or starving myself. Not getting myself into risky situations (unless you count getting on the back of a motorcycle. in [nearly] full gear).
I'm not sleeping.
I'm not studying.
I'm not taking care of my house.
I'm bathing maybe 2 times a week.
I don't even clean the litterboxes more than every few days (keep in mind that I have 3 cats who live inside).
I have nearly maxed my credit cards and have no money in the bank.
But I am getting back into exercising more. Maybe that will help. Went for a 2 hour, 3 mile walk with Phylicia to the bank, motorcycle store, grocery store, and starbucks before returning to do homework which was nearly past due. Ran a few laps in the dog runs with the "Bagels" yesterday morning. Did situps the night before.
Why am I like this? I suspect much has to do with Alex informing me that she is moving out, then telling me she'd pay weekly rent, then taking off to Texas without paying at all. She's back... but hasn't offered a dime. I'm so tired of this shit. I can't wait until she leaves, honestly. I wish I could be more confrontational, I'd tell that bitch exactly what I think of her, and throw her and her shit out.
But I digress, I haven't been sleeping since before that. I've averaged maybe 5 hours of sleep a night since about the 18th of February. I haven't even taken many naps. The stresses of not sleeping and eating well had caused me to have a pregnancy scare, and a MASSIVE breakout. Not fun. I started with the lack of sleeping probably to have more time with Ryan. But I have animal care shifts starting between 6 and 7:30 in the morning many mornings, which means waking up at 5 to 6:30 if I'm there with him, and we don't go to bed until at least 1AM usually closer to 3.
So, that's why I don't sleep when I'm there, but I spend so much time there and so little time sleeping when I AM at my house still. Because my roommates are fucking slobs, hence why I won't miss the one: She's the worst slob of the two, and I have had to chase her on rent (another stressor). The dishes are piled high in the sink, the trash and recycle are overflowing, the counters are littered with plastic ripped off of containers, napkins, and other such papers. I come home, see the mess, and immediately want to leave. Sometimes I do.
I usually end up cleaning the mess after a few days (was up until 4 AM one morning because I couldn't focus on one mess to clean, eventually, I cleaned the floor on my hands and knees among other things). I left the recycle after I was gone a whole weekend until someone took it out. It took a week... recycleables were EVERYWHERE. The laundry room is a disaster. I keep my mess to myself... why can't they? oy. But cleaning, and avoiding looking distracts me, takes up my time, doesn't let me sleep.
I can't focus when the house is a mess. I don't want to sleep, but I don't want to clean. I don't want to do anything.
She'll be gone soon, I hope her replacement is tidy. Or at least tidier.
In other news, Thursday evening begins my spring break of 2 weeks. I'll get some much needed sleep then (I hope). I'll be going to Vegas (and maybe Tahoe) with Ryan next week for his birthday on the 14th and flying back that night to go to Florida with my family the next day for the following week. Ryan has invited me to his cousin's wedding in Texas at the end of April. So YAY! He wants me to meet the family. ^^
Also, I have a house for rent if anyone is interested. 3 bed/2 bath. 1500 Sqft. 2 car carport. new carpet, paint. Washer/dryer and refrigerator included. New faucets. Prefer to rent out the whole house, but rooms may be doable. The rent is about $1000/mo. maybe less depending on the lease contract (one year may bring it down to $900/mo). It will be ready by May. Scottsdale and McKellips in Tempe, near my house (2 minute walk). So it's close to MCC, SCC, ASU, the bars in Scottsdale, Mill Avenue, the airport, 101, 202, etc.
Lemme know if you or anyone you know may be interested.
~JR