Pre-Courtship Questionnaire - Pt 15 Communication & 16 Anger & 17 Changing
(Edit: I forgot the link to the fundamentalist relationship meme of doom: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2013/06/the-pre-courtship-questionnaire/!)
Communication
350. How do you handle arguments?
Probably poorly
351. Would you be willing to go to communication classes?
i guess
352. In your family, how are or were differences settled?
it's been like 20 years and i'm not sure i remember how my parents handled their own disagreements. the kids certainly never won arguments.
353. Is your family accustomed to teasing?
no, that wasn't a thing
354. To what degree to you take teasing?
somewhat. i have trouble telling when people are teasing and when they're serious.
355. Do you know when to tease and when not to?
not entirely.
356. Are you willing to change your limitations on teasing to suit my upbringing?
it's up for compromise.
357. Can you tell me no or will you let me walk all over you?
Don't tread on me!
Anger
358. What upsets you?
um, many things... bad music, rodents, injustice, the fact that somebody abandoned dirty pans in the sink about 20 minutes after i washed the old ones which were mouldy and why can't people just do their own damn dishes
359. How long does it take you to get angry after something upsets you?
It depends on how upset I am. Something make me instantly angry. Other build up over time. I assumed this was normal for people?
360. Do you have a short fuse?
No
361. How would you respond if someone were to tell you that you are angry?
If this were intended as a silencing tactic (ie, you're angry and therefore your opinions don't count), it would make me livid. Otherwise, I would wonder why they were stating something that was probably obvious.
362. How angry do you get?
1000 miliAngers.
No really, how do I quantify this?
363. Do you hold your anger in?
I try to think before I speak, but otherwise no.
364. Do you hold your anger in until you can’t stand it and then let it out all at once?
I hope not.
365. Have you ever had such an angry outburst that you threw something, hit something or hit someone?
I once got very frustrated and gave a telephone a good thrashing. Later I had to speak to the person who had been on the other end of the line. I told him I was startled by a very large spider.
366. How do you react when something upsets you?
Not silently.
367. When someone upsets you do you write that person off and never speak to them again or do you go to them and try to work out the problem?
If somebody's a racist, I'll generally write them off. Otherwise, I may or may not approach them depending on the relationship I have with them or with the person we have in common.
Changing
368. Are you accepting of truth (new truth) that you hear? (Whether it may be from the pulpit, from a book or from a counselor[sic]?)
I'm willing to have my mind changed about factual assertion in light of new data. I'm also willing to consider some philosophical ideas in light of new reasoning. However, there's some stuff I'm just not willing to reconsider.
369. Does God have to “knock you over the head” before you will change something in your life?
Um, what? I try to learn from mistakes.
389a. Are you hard-headed?
I have a weird dent in the back of my skull, which I think may have come from this one time I fell backwards off a unicycle.
370. Are you teachable?
Yes. Well, actually, there are some things I'm doing where I would hesitate to take instruction because I want to have my own voice. But that depends on the subject.
371. How would your family answer these questions about you?
They were unable to produce adequately convincing data or philosophical argument sin support of Reagan-style capitalism.
372. Can you give me an example of the last time that you recognized an area that you needed to change in your life?
Well, the last major thing was probably my transition.
373. How long did it take for you to change?
It first came up when I was about 20, so over a decade, but it took a few years of more serious questioning after that.
374. How long ago was it?
I started actually doing it about 5 years ago.
375. How long had it been since the time before that?
What? It generally takes me about 2 years to solidify a major change. I want to be certain about something before I take major risks.
376. How often do you take someone else’s advice?
Frequently
377. How often do you go to the altar?
Never
378. Is your heart tender towards God, His ways and new truth?
No
379. How often do you feel conviction in your life?
I cannot be bothered right now to find out what this means.
380. How long does it take you to deal with a problem once you recognize it?
The slow part for me is the recognition.
381. Does another person that you have had a problem with have to apologize first or do you go to them?
I prefer the British method of simply never speaking of it. ... I do try to apologise if I've made someone very unhappy, however.
382. Do you try to communicate and work things out with that person?
Sometimes.
383. How often do you follow through on what you have said that you do? (On a scale of 1 to 10?)
This sentence seems to defy parsing. I do not always deliver, however. Or rather, I'm sometimes running somewhat behind. I do eventually get everything sorted.
Communication
350. How do you handle arguments?
Probably poorly
351. Would you be willing to go to communication classes?
i guess
352. In your family, how are or were differences settled?
it's been like 20 years and i'm not sure i remember how my parents handled their own disagreements. the kids certainly never won arguments.
353. Is your family accustomed to teasing?
no, that wasn't a thing
354. To what degree to you take teasing?
somewhat. i have trouble telling when people are teasing and when they're serious.
355. Do you know when to tease and when not to?
not entirely.
356. Are you willing to change your limitations on teasing to suit my upbringing?
it's up for compromise.
357. Can you tell me no or will you let me walk all over you?
Don't tread on me!
Anger
358. What upsets you?
um, many things... bad music, rodents, injustice, the fact that somebody abandoned dirty pans in the sink about 20 minutes after i washed the old ones which were mouldy and why can't people just do their own damn dishes
359. How long does it take you to get angry after something upsets you?
It depends on how upset I am. Something make me instantly angry. Other build up over time. I assumed this was normal for people?
360. Do you have a short fuse?
No
361. How would you respond if someone were to tell you that you are angry?
If this were intended as a silencing tactic (ie, you're angry and therefore your opinions don't count), it would make me livid. Otherwise, I would wonder why they were stating something that was probably obvious.
362. How angry do you get?
1000 miliAngers.
No really, how do I quantify this?
363. Do you hold your anger in?
I try to think before I speak, but otherwise no.
364. Do you hold your anger in until you can’t stand it and then let it out all at once?
I hope not.
365. Have you ever had such an angry outburst that you threw something, hit something or hit someone?
I once got very frustrated and gave a telephone a good thrashing. Later I had to speak to the person who had been on the other end of the line. I told him I was startled by a very large spider.
366. How do you react when something upsets you?
Not silently.
367. When someone upsets you do you write that person off and never speak to them again or do you go to them and try to work out the problem?
If somebody's a racist, I'll generally write them off. Otherwise, I may or may not approach them depending on the relationship I have with them or with the person we have in common.
Changing
368. Are you accepting of truth (new truth) that you hear? (Whether it may be from the pulpit, from a book or from a counselor[sic]?)
I'm willing to have my mind changed about factual assertion in light of new data. I'm also willing to consider some philosophical ideas in light of new reasoning. However, there's some stuff I'm just not willing to reconsider.
369. Does God have to “knock you over the head” before you will change something in your life?
Um, what? I try to learn from mistakes.
389a. Are you hard-headed?
I have a weird dent in the back of my skull, which I think may have come from this one time I fell backwards off a unicycle.
370. Are you teachable?
Yes. Well, actually, there are some things I'm doing where I would hesitate to take instruction because I want to have my own voice. But that depends on the subject.
371. How would your family answer these questions about you?
They were unable to produce adequately convincing data or philosophical argument sin support of Reagan-style capitalism.
372. Can you give me an example of the last time that you recognized an area that you needed to change in your life?
Well, the last major thing was probably my transition.
373. How long did it take for you to change?
It first came up when I was about 20, so over a decade, but it took a few years of more serious questioning after that.
374. How long ago was it?
I started actually doing it about 5 years ago.
375. How long had it been since the time before that?
What? It generally takes me about 2 years to solidify a major change. I want to be certain about something before I take major risks.
376. How often do you take someone else’s advice?
Frequently
377. How often do you go to the altar?
Never
378. Is your heart tender towards God, His ways and new truth?
No
379. How often do you feel conviction in your life?
I cannot be bothered right now to find out what this means.
380. How long does it take you to deal with a problem once you recognize it?
The slow part for me is the recognition.
381. Does another person that you have had a problem with have to apologize first or do you go to them?
I prefer the British method of simply never speaking of it. ... I do try to apologise if I've made someone very unhappy, however.
382. Do you try to communicate and work things out with that person?
Sometimes.
383. How often do you follow through on what you have said that you do? (On a scale of 1 to 10?)
This sentence seems to defy parsing. I do not always deliver, however. Or rather, I'm sometimes running somewhat behind. I do eventually get everything sorted.