(no subject)
A bunch of my college friends are getting married, or just got married, or just got engaged, or are in serious long term relationships in which they post really adorable couple photos and go on long trips with.
I...I really really don't get it. love. I mean I think they all look cute and its like yay good for them but I DONT GET IT. I dont get the whole, this person is my soulmate, thing. They all seem so happy and genuinely in love and I just look at it and go - eh. I don't understand that feeling.
This makes it sound like I'm sad and bitter and lonely - but I'm not! I mean...I am alone. And there's definitely a certain amount of emptiness to my existence that is quite palpable but it's not like I mind it. ...Although that's probably also not a great sign - the not minding the 'eh' about life. It just seems like so much more trouble to search for love/relationships. The couples I know how are getting married, they seem just so naturally happy together and they didn't have to jump through hoops to find each other (college friends -> relationship => soulmates. the end.) It all just seems so easy for them...
I mean, to be fair, all the people who are getting married or are married are also people I met in freshman year of college - like, both halves of the couple, so there's that - and the girls are all very sweet, well adjusted, fairly stereotypical Asian girls. (All my friends from college who are not married or almost married are just about as dysfunctional, bitter, and/or picky as me so, yah... thanks childhood.)
I mean, I have my family whom I'm now on fantastic terms with (it helps to cheerfully lie to them, talk only about accomplishments, avoid difficult topics, and only see them a couple days at a time) and my very best friends whom I love dearly and have a great time with.
I...I really really don't get it. love. I mean I think they all look cute and its like yay good for them but I DONT GET IT. I dont get the whole, this person is my soulmate, thing. They all seem so happy and genuinely in love and I just look at it and go - eh. I don't understand that feeling.
This makes it sound like I'm sad and bitter and lonely - but I'm not! I mean...I am alone. And there's definitely a certain amount of emptiness to my existence that is quite palpable but it's not like I mind it. ...Although that's probably also not a great sign - the not minding the 'eh' about life. It just seems like so much more trouble to search for love/relationships. The couples I know how are getting married, they seem just so naturally happy together and they didn't have to jump through hoops to find each other (college friends -> relationship => soulmates. the end.) It all just seems so easy for them...
I mean, to be fair, all the people who are getting married or are married are also people I met in freshman year of college - like, both halves of the couple, so there's that - and the girls are all very sweet, well adjusted, fairly stereotypical Asian girls. (All my friends from college who are not married or almost married are just about as dysfunctional, bitter, and/or picky as me so, yah... thanks childhood.)
I mean, I have my family whom I'm now on fantastic terms with (it helps to cheerfully lie to them, talk only about accomplishments, avoid difficult topics, and only see them a couple days at a time) and my very best friends whom I love dearly and have a great time with.