I'm not telling anyone what they can and can't like/read/write, first of all. Just to make that plain. Nor am I saying that if you like the following, I think less of you. It's not directed at anyone in particular nor inspired by any specific fics. This is just me being peevish, okay?
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Querulous rambling behind the cut )
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I think this is a very valid point. Up here in Canada, if two people live together for 365 days, they are considered to be 'common-law'. That is, the government counts them as statistically (and perhaps legally) 'equal' to a traditionally married couple.
That said, the general social perception is that a common-law couple are somehow not as much of a couple as one that has been legally married. Some believe that without an official ceremony, the relationship is easily dissolved if necessary, and therefore lacks a sense of commitment. On the other hand, some people I know of in a common-law relationship are perfectly content to leave it as it is, rather than formalize it with a ( ... )
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But it sounds as if this isn't actually the case, if living together for 365 days means that according to the law, the couple is married?
I guess I feel that if a couple (het, gay, whatever) live together long-term and consider themselves committed to each other, it really doesn't matter if they make it "official" -- because in practice it's going to be complicated to separate, once your lives are intertwined. I didn't particularly feel the need to get married for myself; it was more because this was a way to mark our commitment to our family, friends, etc. We had a minister do it because that was the easiest way to arrange it in our particular circumstances, but I would have been at least as happy to have a civil ceremony (whether it would then be called a civil union or a marriage, who cares).
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Personally, and doubtless I'm in a minority, I don't think that civil unions are second best at all. The entire concept of marriage today is really very different from what it has been for most of the Judeo-Christian era; while there are still some denominations that are very anti-divorce, most people recognize that marriage is not necessarily a lifetime commitment. So to me, then, there isn't the same weight behind it as there might once have been, and "civil union" seems a much more accurate description. But that's just my take, of course.
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I remember when you used "husband" in FWtW, yeah -- and it took me aback a little because you usually do avoid that term. *g* I don't want to give the impression that I'm against people (in RL or fic) having ceremonies of union of whatever sort -- there are all kinds of reasons they might want to do so. It just sort of depresses me when it seems in a fic like this is the only way to justify the relationship, you understand. It gives me kind of a feeling like they're saying, "oh look! we're just like straight people!" Why should a queer couple feel the need to do that?
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