Rant

[celandineb]

I'm not telling anyone what they can and can't like/read/write, first of all. Just to make that plain. Nor am I saying that if you like the following, I think less of you. It's not directed at anyone in particular nor inspired by any specific fics. This is just me being peevish, okay?

Comments

[mistressofrohan]

As for calling it "marriage," I imagine that's just a matter of convenience. There is currently no other term which carries the same weight. Civil union is currently kind of viewed as a "second best" thing--can't get married, so you have a civil union agreement or whatever. It doesn't hold the weight of tradition and social validation and so forth.

I think this is a very valid point. Up here in Canada, if two people live together for 365 days, they are considered to be 'common-law'. That is, the government counts them as statistically (and perhaps legally) 'equal' to a traditionally married couple.

That said, the general social perception is that a common-law couple are somehow not as much of a couple as one that has been legally married. Some believe that without an official ceremony, the relationship is easily dissolved if necessary, and therefore lacks a sense of commitment. On the other hand, some people I know of in a common-law relationship are perfectly content to leave it as it is, rather than formalize it with a marriage ceremony.

*shrugs* I just thought I'd throw that tidbit into the mix of ideas. As for it's appearance in fic, the only time it crossed my mind was in the Tolkien-verse, and that was because of canon principles regarding the relationships between elves. In my one attempt at fic, my characters were very clearly aware that they would one day marry women and father children... then again, they lived in a very tradition-bound society.

I hadn't given much thought to it in Potter-verse etc but I can see the concern.

[celandineb]

Some believe that without an official ceremony, the relationship is easily dissolved if necessary, and therefore lacks a sense of commitment.

But it sounds as if this isn't actually the case, if living together for 365 days means that according to the law, the couple is married?

I guess I feel that if a couple (het, gay, whatever) live together long-term and consider themselves committed to each other, it really doesn't matter if they make it "official" -- because in practice it's going to be complicated to separate, once your lives are intertwined. I didn't particularly feel the need to get married for myself; it was more because this was a way to mark our commitment to our family, friends, etc. We had a minister do it because that was the easiest way to arrange it in our particular circumstances, but I would have been at least as happy to have a civil ceremony (whether it would then be called a civil union or a marriage, who cares).

[mistressofrohan]

But it sounds as if this isn't actually the case, if living together for 365 days means that according to the law, the couple is married?

I was trying to mark the difference between the government's statistical (legal?) POV, and the general opinion held by most Canadians that I know of.

For example, my Inlaws mark a very definite difference between their children who were 'officially' married at a ceremony (one semi-religious, one not) and their nieces/nephews who were not. They consider cousin Kelly to be living with 'that guy'... even though she's been living with him for the last 2 years and has a child with him. Similarly, a family friend refers to her 'Sin-in-Law', even though he has been living in a commited relationship with her daughter for the last 7 years.

But for taxation and census purposes, those couples are every bit as 'married' as we are. I'm vague on the legal ramifications of common-law relationships, but my general understanding is that they are legally the same. I'm just not willing to commit to that as fact because I don't know for sure.