Even before the internet...hmpfApril 20 2006, 17:23:16 UTC
you would lose friends as time went by, and your and their interests, lifestyles/life situations etc. changed. Or at least that's been my experience. In my experience - I'm 29, soon to be 30 - very few friendships last for decades. At the moment I have only two in that category, one that started about 19 years ago, and another that started around 14 years ago. And both of these are helped by the fact that for most of these 19 or 14 years we've been living in the same city, and sharing at least *some* interests, and even, nowadays, a flat.
I've had some very close friendships in Real Life that I valued a lot, yet that still sort of faded once we moved to different cities, or just generally grew up or grew older. The same's happened to some of my online friendships, though with those the drifting apart is... stranger, as you don't have direct contact in the first place.
On the other hand, I've also had, or rather have, friendships where I thought we were drifting apart - due to being too busy to see each other or talk to each other, or due to changing interests etc. - yet ended up growing closer with those people again.
I think what it comes down to is that human relationships are pretty fluid. Sometimes you slowly grow unexpectedly close with a person you never expected could be a friend when you first met them; sometimes you 'click' with someone immediately; sometimes you grow apart and stay apart; sometimes you grow apart and then grow back together, etc. It depends on many factors; personal sympathy and compatibility is only one of them.
Re: Even before the internet...celandinebApril 20 2006, 18:36:39 UTC
Oh, I hope I didn't accidentally imply that the internet is the cause of less-permanent friendships. There's certainly plenty of factors that go into this.
Let me think, family excluded, the person I have known longest with whom I am currently actively friends (regular contact, not just an annual holiday card or something), I have known since autumn 1989, so nearly 17 years now. And there was a long stretch of time in there when we weren't really in contact; in this case it was LJ that has brought us closer again.
I've had some very close friendships in Real Life that I valued a lot, yet that still sort of faded once we moved to different cities, or just generally grew up or grew older. The same's happened to some of my online friendships, though with those the drifting apart is... stranger, as you don't have direct contact in the first place.
On the other hand, I've also had, or rather have, friendships where I thought we were drifting apart - due to being too busy to see each other or talk to each other, or due to changing interests etc. - yet ended up growing closer with those people again.
I think what it comes down to is that human relationships are pretty fluid. Sometimes you slowly grow unexpectedly close with a person you never expected could be a friend when you first met them; sometimes you 'click' with someone immediately; sometimes you grow apart and stay apart; sometimes you grow apart and then grow back together, etc. It depends on many factors; personal sympathy and compatibility is only one of them.
Reply
Let me think, family excluded, the person I have known longest with whom I am currently actively friends (regular contact, not just an annual holiday card or something), I have known since autumn 1989, so nearly 17 years now. And there was a long stretch of time in there when we weren't really in contact; in this case it was LJ that has brought us closer again.
Reply
Leave a comment