Weekend, and associated thoughts about changing opinions
So my dad was visiting this past weekend, and we had a good time. Ate several nice meals out, went to the art museum and saw an interesting visiting exhibit that SO and I hadn't gotten to yet, and went to the zoo. Short but sweet. And I do mean short; he drove over on Friday and back on Sunday, about 8 hours each way from St. Louis where he lives.
This kind of gets me to thinking. I was born and grew up in St. Louis till I was 14 and moved across the country with my mom and sister (my parents got divorced). I'm actually Facebook friends with one person from that era of my life. Well, there might be more than one, but one person who posts/comments occasionally. I also have FB friends from high school, college, graduate school (both goes at grad school).
What I'm thinking about is that I'm sometimes surprised when I realize what different views some of those old friends and acquaintances hold from those that I have. I start to wonder if they always had those ideas and opinions. Did we never talk about such topics back when we were friends in a more face-to-face way, perhaps because we were enough younger that they didn't seem important, or we hadn't yet encountered them? Or did they change their views? Or did *I* change mine?
Sometimes I think it's hard to realize that one is changing/has changed. There are a couple of issues where I know for sure I have changed my mind, the most notable one being the death penalty. I once was in favor of it, or neutral anyhow, but these days (for the past 10-15 years, in fact) I have been definitely against it. I changed my mind because it is all too clear that it is a punishment imposed unevenly and unfairly--persons of color being subject to it out of all proportion--and also wrongly--there being many instances in which it is later demonstrated that the person accused and convicted was, in fact, innocent of the crime. It's not correctable, and most methods of execution are quite inhumane. For all of these reasons, I can no longer view the death penalty as a moral choice.
There are other sorts of issues where I honestly can't remember if I've changed my mind in any important way. To the best of my recollection, for instance, I have always been pro-choice. I remember having some discussions with college friends about abortion (including one with two other women, one of whom was Catholic and the other of whom was an Evangelical Christian--IIRC we actually hashed out what we thought was a good and workable compromise). One of my friends from that era, whom I had NOT remembered as being anti-choice, now quite clearly is. So did I never talk about abortion with her then? Or has she become more conservative in the 20+ years since?
Not that people cannot change, and do not change. Obviously I have, witness my views on capital punishment. It just sometimes catches me by surprise. I default to assuming people I like probably share (most of) my views, and when they don't, I can sometimes be taken aback... and a little saddened, when I think it is an important issue that IMNSHO they are judging wrongly.
To bring this around to where I began, my dad is actually pretty darned liberal/progressive. We don't agree on everything (but is there anyone with whom I agree on everything? I doubt it; not even my SO), but we share similar opinions on many political/social sorts of issues. Heck, we both have contributed to Bernie Sanders' campaign, which is pretty cool. My mom is more middle of the road. My sister describes herself as libertarian. I make no pretense to knowing deeply what all of the libertarian political philosophy purports to be, but my impression of it in practice and in common politician rhetoric is, basically, that it is selfishness dressed up; a kind of social Darwinism, putting the onus on the individual to sink or swim, and discounting the role of society in supporting individuals' success. Which again, makes me wonder, was this always her view and somehow I didn't realize it for years and years? Or has she changed? Because I don't think I've changed that much...
This kind of gets me to thinking. I was born and grew up in St. Louis till I was 14 and moved across the country with my mom and sister (my parents got divorced). I'm actually Facebook friends with one person from that era of my life. Well, there might be more than one, but one person who posts/comments occasionally. I also have FB friends from high school, college, graduate school (both goes at grad school).
What I'm thinking about is that I'm sometimes surprised when I realize what different views some of those old friends and acquaintances hold from those that I have. I start to wonder if they always had those ideas and opinions. Did we never talk about such topics back when we were friends in a more face-to-face way, perhaps because we were enough younger that they didn't seem important, or we hadn't yet encountered them? Or did they change their views? Or did *I* change mine?
Sometimes I think it's hard to realize that one is changing/has changed. There are a couple of issues where I know for sure I have changed my mind, the most notable one being the death penalty. I once was in favor of it, or neutral anyhow, but these days (for the past 10-15 years, in fact) I have been definitely against it. I changed my mind because it is all too clear that it is a punishment imposed unevenly and unfairly--persons of color being subject to it out of all proportion--and also wrongly--there being many instances in which it is later demonstrated that the person accused and convicted was, in fact, innocent of the crime. It's not correctable, and most methods of execution are quite inhumane. For all of these reasons, I can no longer view the death penalty as a moral choice.
There are other sorts of issues where I honestly can't remember if I've changed my mind in any important way. To the best of my recollection, for instance, I have always been pro-choice. I remember having some discussions with college friends about abortion (including one with two other women, one of whom was Catholic and the other of whom was an Evangelical Christian--IIRC we actually hashed out what we thought was a good and workable compromise). One of my friends from that era, whom I had NOT remembered as being anti-choice, now quite clearly is. So did I never talk about abortion with her then? Or has she become more conservative in the 20+ years since?
Not that people cannot change, and do not change. Obviously I have, witness my views on capital punishment. It just sometimes catches me by surprise. I default to assuming people I like probably share (most of) my views, and when they don't, I can sometimes be taken aback... and a little saddened, when I think it is an important issue that IMNSHO they are judging wrongly.
To bring this around to where I began, my dad is actually pretty darned liberal/progressive. We don't agree on everything (but is there anyone with whom I agree on everything? I doubt it; not even my SO), but we share similar opinions on many political/social sorts of issues. Heck, we both have contributed to Bernie Sanders' campaign, which is pretty cool. My mom is more middle of the road. My sister describes herself as libertarian. I make no pretense to knowing deeply what all of the libertarian political philosophy purports to be, but my impression of it in practice and in common politician rhetoric is, basically, that it is selfishness dressed up; a kind of social Darwinism, putting the onus on the individual to sink or swim, and discounting the role of society in supporting individuals' success. Which again, makes me wonder, was this always her view and somehow I didn't realize it for years and years? Or has she changed? Because I don't think I've changed that much...