Alittle rant about childrens shows...
Please bare with me as I go off...
OK so who's fucking brilliant idea was it to create a children's show that tells them to "yell LOUDER!" I mean WTF!!!! OK yeah Dora teaches them like one or two spanish words a show, but she tells them to yell louder like 6 times a show. I do not want my children to get any goddamn louder. And then there's shows that defy reality. Like Little Bear, ok cute show, but a bear does not breathe out hellium, so if he blows up a balloon it is not going to float! And it certainly isn't going to carry away a duck! And something else about little bear, he's called 'little bear', the duck is called 'duck', the hen is called 'hen', so why is the fucking snake called 'no legs'?! Can some please explain the logic in that too me. I mean did their writters just not have the dreativity to fucking name everything, that they thought they would put whatever creative juices that they had into making animals do things that are fucking physically impossible?
Now I am lover of Sponge Bob, but just last week I realized that it is the source of my children saying that they hate each other. I've been having a serious problem with it recently, and then we're watching Sponge Bob and there are Patrick and Bob screaming that they hate each other, and then they are all happy and fine within a matter of moments. And so my kids now find this to be normal, or acceptable.
Something that Dave pointed out this morning, Blue's Clues...Everything on that fucking show talks...EVERYTHING...except for the goddamn dog. Blue the character that the entire show is based off of is the only fucking thing that doesn't talk. I mean they made the salt and pepper talk. They are Mrs. Salt and Mr. Pepper and they somehow got together and had a kid and it's Paprika. Can someone please explain that one to me?!
What the hell happened to good old fashioned muppets? Man I miss Jim Henson so much sometimes. I mean take the fraggles. This man didn't just draw a bear and call it 'little bear' and have some freakish hit. he actually created a whole other species to make our imaginations soar. I mean how many 80's children at some point hoped that they would see GoBo walking by a mous hole in their house? Now kids think they can fucking talk to bears. Thank god Seasame Street is still on. Yeah they have some freaky shit happening on there, but for gods sake at least the whole entire show is about teaching something to the kids, not just telling them to YELL LOUDER!
You know what I miss the most, besides the fraggles? BRAIN GAMES! OK so any of you that were lucky enough to have HBO in the 80'2 should know what I'm talking about. Now I didn't have HBO, but my grandmother did, so everytime I was up there I would try to wake up early just so that I could watch every single brain games that they aired. And for those of you that have know idea of what I speak...I'm sorry, you truely missed out on something beautiful. And I can't even find it on any old VHS's or anything to share with you. And I'm so horrible at the whole interweb thing that I can't seem to find it out there either. *pout*.
OK so I'm winding down...but I'm left wondering...when we truly have another genius creating beautiful things for the next generation?
I raise my glass to you Mr. Jim Henson, thank you for all the beauty and fond memories that you were essential in creating in my life!
OK so who's fucking brilliant idea was it to create a children's show that tells them to "yell LOUDER!" I mean WTF!!!! OK yeah Dora teaches them like one or two spanish words a show, but she tells them to yell louder like 6 times a show. I do not want my children to get any goddamn louder. And then there's shows that defy reality. Like Little Bear, ok cute show, but a bear does not breathe out hellium, so if he blows up a balloon it is not going to float! And it certainly isn't going to carry away a duck! And something else about little bear, he's called 'little bear', the duck is called 'duck', the hen is called 'hen', so why is the fucking snake called 'no legs'?! Can some please explain the logic in that too me. I mean did their writters just not have the dreativity to fucking name everything, that they thought they would put whatever creative juices that they had into making animals do things that are fucking physically impossible?
Now I am lover of Sponge Bob, but just last week I realized that it is the source of my children saying that they hate each other. I've been having a serious problem with it recently, and then we're watching Sponge Bob and there are Patrick and Bob screaming that they hate each other, and then they are all happy and fine within a matter of moments. And so my kids now find this to be normal, or acceptable.
Something that Dave pointed out this morning, Blue's Clues...Everything on that fucking show talks...EVERYTHING...except for the goddamn dog. Blue the character that the entire show is based off of is the only fucking thing that doesn't talk. I mean they made the salt and pepper talk. They are Mrs. Salt and Mr. Pepper and they somehow got together and had a kid and it's Paprika. Can someone please explain that one to me?!
What the hell happened to good old fashioned muppets? Man I miss Jim Henson so much sometimes. I mean take the fraggles. This man didn't just draw a bear and call it 'little bear' and have some freakish hit. he actually created a whole other species to make our imaginations soar. I mean how many 80's children at some point hoped that they would see GoBo walking by a mous hole in their house? Now kids think they can fucking talk to bears. Thank god Seasame Street is still on. Yeah they have some freaky shit happening on there, but for gods sake at least the whole entire show is about teaching something to the kids, not just telling them to YELL LOUDER!
You know what I miss the most, besides the fraggles? BRAIN GAMES! OK so any of you that were lucky enough to have HBO in the 80'2 should know what I'm talking about. Now I didn't have HBO, but my grandmother did, so everytime I was up there I would try to wake up early just so that I could watch every single brain games that they aired. And for those of you that have know idea of what I speak...I'm sorry, you truely missed out on something beautiful. And I can't even find it on any old VHS's or anything to share with you. And I'm so horrible at the whole interweb thing that I can't seem to find it out there either. *pout*.
OK so I'm winding down...but I'm left wondering...when we truly have another genius creating beautiful things for the next generation?
I raise my glass to you Mr. Jim Henson, thank you for all the beauty and fond memories that you were essential in creating in my life!