(no subject)
I'm sorry i haven't replied to your comments or ljs in a while. LJ has been really funky for some reason on and off. So have I.
I had an emotional break down yesterday. Really badly. I dunno I guess I just realized some things about myself and my life that were hard to confront. I've been really shitty about my working out.. I've eaten pretty well on and off but eh. I just feel MEH! I hate that. I hate that if I'm not feeling awesome and peppy that its just like impossible for me to workout. It just wont come up in my mind.
But I worked out the day before yesterday and I will work out today. Tomorrow I may be going to a theme park so that means LOTS of walking :) that will count. Then I'm going out of town again - until next Monday/Tuesday. I'm babysitting dogs all weekend. I'm gonna bring my workout stuff and do it there. At least I know that if I'm alone with a pair of dogs in an empty house all alone and bored.. I'll probably definitely work out. A lot. I'd walk the dogs a bunch but I don't really trust that neighborhood. Maybe though.
I hope you are all doing great. I'm gonna have to play major catch up again when I get back. I've been doing all this final exams and homework crap for my classes, but I'm all done now! Free time until May 16th! Which is good! :)
I love you all and I want the best for all of us. I have to remember that. I care about all of you soooo much and I want you to succeed, I want you to be happy, I want you to do whats best. I haven't really thought the same about myself - which kind've relates to what I had a breakdown about. Not so much weightloss related, but just a lot of me being delusional in my life and not taking action and responsibility like I always want to and hope to. I need to be strong. I need to think straight and concentrate, and plan and schedule.. and make sure I get things done instead of just saying "Oh well!".
Alright, Here I am signing off on a positive note, as always! I'm never EVER ever EVER going to give up damnit. I'm sorry if Its irritating seeing me repeat the same thing but .. I fail a lot and I just need to remind myself a lot to keep trying. I dont care if its a continuous broken record.. something is getting done! Maybe things will change now that I'm starting to tighten some screws that were lose in my head. We'll see.
Damn hidden emotional issues. :) Speak to you all in a couple of days!
I had an emotional break down yesterday. Really badly. I dunno I guess I just realized some things about myself and my life that were hard to confront. I've been really shitty about my working out.. I've eaten pretty well on and off but eh. I just feel MEH! I hate that. I hate that if I'm not feeling awesome and peppy that its just like impossible for me to workout. It just wont come up in my mind.
But I worked out the day before yesterday and I will work out today. Tomorrow I may be going to a theme park so that means LOTS of walking :) that will count. Then I'm going out of town again - until next Monday/Tuesday. I'm babysitting dogs all weekend. I'm gonna bring my workout stuff and do it there. At least I know that if I'm alone with a pair of dogs in an empty house all alone and bored.. I'll probably definitely work out. A lot. I'd walk the dogs a bunch but I don't really trust that neighborhood. Maybe though.
I hope you are all doing great. I'm gonna have to play major catch up again when I get back. I've been doing all this final exams and homework crap for my classes, but I'm all done now! Free time until May 16th! Which is good! :)
I love you all and I want the best for all of us. I have to remember that. I care about all of you soooo much and I want you to succeed, I want you to be happy, I want you to do whats best. I haven't really thought the same about myself - which kind've relates to what I had a breakdown about. Not so much weightloss related, but just a lot of me being delusional in my life and not taking action and responsibility like I always want to and hope to. I need to be strong. I need to think straight and concentrate, and plan and schedule.. and make sure I get things done instead of just saying "Oh well!".
Alright, Here I am signing off on a positive note, as always! I'm never EVER ever EVER going to give up damnit. I'm sorry if Its irritating seeing me repeat the same thing but .. I fail a lot and I just need to remind myself a lot to keep trying. I dont care if its a continuous broken record.. something is getting done! Maybe things will change now that I'm starting to tighten some screws that were lose in my head. We'll see.
Damn hidden emotional issues. :) Speak to you all in a couple of days!