Love by the Numbers
When I was crying in my diapers and sitting on Lego blocks, some of my more sophisticated friends (who were already enlisted in Fluid Dynamics courses) used to say "It's all math. Nature are reiterations of the Mandelbrot fractal set, and love can be easily reduced to a quadratic equation."
After we stopped crying, we'd gang up and give that nerd the biggest atomic wedgie this side of Sigmund and the Sea Monsters.
Of course, as with any pronouncements from precocious people, we all grew up and discovered what they were saying turned out to be true.
If there ever was a real life equivalent of the death sentence video clip in The Ring / Ringu, here it is (if you're single and looking, watch this and you will die in 7 days):
Discovery's Science of Sex Appeal Part I
Discovery's Science of Sex Appeal Part II: Woman shops for Dude purely by numbers, forgetting to look at his face (when uh....he's really like a 10)
Alright this wasn't what I wanted to talk about (that show was like 3 years ago). But recently, I sat down with a still single best friend of 30+ years, and he said "at our age, who doesn't have baggage?" My personal favorite is my ex-partner's decree "If you have all the desirable qualities and you're still not hooked up by 40, you probably don't have ALL the desirable qualities." And it got me thinking: "why do people who leave relationships always think they can do better?" More importantly, why do those people often say to the naysayers "It's because you have low self-esteem that you don't move on and try to find something better."
Like most truths, the exact point is a fluid 'somewhere in between the two.' The damning evidence comes when you examine statistical probabilities. Yes, you could hypothetically find someone better than who you're with now. (And sure, how would you know you can't until you've tried). But let's say if you do find that next number up, you find someone who is so gorgeous, you just want to die.
Will that person find you suitable for him / her? Will that person find YOU crazy gorgeous? (We may have to ask Brad Pitt for empirical evidence) The probabilities are quickly diminishing.
And let's say you both agree, the next question is, are the personalities compatible? She's a germaphobe, he's a hypochondriac, that one's messy, this one is a liberal (oh no she didn't). The complex grid of (annoyances) personalities combined with diminishing patience (a function of increasing age) drastically reduces the probability that a good, durable match could be made, the longer you wait.
I mean, you'd think that the older you get, the more realistic you become. Like me: I drive around without a seatbelt hoping to get some attention from a cop. But no, instead, from the people I've talked to, the older they get, the more demanding and ridiculous they become. "I want a SI Swimsuit model, who is a fantastic kosher, water-free chef, that can do my taxes, beat me at Xbox, and have the skin of a 7 year old, but strips like she was born on a pole, graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering and brews beers when she can't have sex."
And I'm sure no guys out there want that. So this girl with all these qualities will be available, live in your town, and be totally in to you?
Maybe that's why people look to carpet bomb the demographics with the only thing that talks.
All else walks.