People get older and people change. I can't believe I'm almost 16, and here you are a grown-assed man. Age either makes things grow closer or apart. And it sucks so much sometimes. I don't know why we stopped talking, but it was probably something stupid.
Remember that night that we were at Perk's together, and I poured tea in your eye, just because you didn't think I would? I'm really sorry. I'm sort of stubborn. And the rest of the night? I'm even more sorry about that. I was and continue to be really insensitive and sporadic. But I think that my ability to understand people really has improved, and on that note, I can really see where you're coming from with some of what you're saying.
In-person Colbey and Livejournal Colbey are not the same people. I wish I had all the time in the world to listen to your worries and aspirations and contradictions. I know that it's amazing to talk to you, and I really miss doing so. I hope that one day someone does make you feel really fucking special, because I know that once upon a time you used to make me feel like that.
Self-loathing is something that I am entirely familiar with. Sometimes it just seems like you hate yourself so much that all you can do it sit at home on a school night making livejournal layouts until two in the morning, because you want to be cool and have some scene kid copy yours. Wait, that's my sad life. But really. I sit at home at night on the weekends, too. I have no one to call. People say, "Yeah, we have to hang out." They never even get my number. Sometimes I'm so passive just because I want someone to talk to. I never used to be shy. But here I don't talk to anyone, and I feel like the only people I really don't mind seeing are my teachers.
I know you want to move away and start your life. So did I. And I know it seems like there is nothing that you would miss, but I swear that three people versus no one is so much better, and you appreciate them so much more. Even if they never call you and move on, you still miss them. I want to come home so badly. Some things are just really taken for granted. But no one ever sees it before it's too late, even when people warn them.
Wow, I am so self-centered. I just turned everything you said into shit about me. Maybe I was trying to relate? I don't know what the hell was the point of all of that. I'm still a bitch, and you're still going to be angry. But maybe, one day everything will be okay, even if it's just for a minute.
Remember that night that we were at Perk's together, and I poured tea in your eye, just because you didn't think I would? I'm really sorry. I'm sort of stubborn. And the rest of the night? I'm even more sorry about that. I was and continue to be really insensitive and sporadic. But I think that my ability to understand people really has improved, and on that note, I can really see where you're coming from with some of what you're saying.
In-person Colbey and Livejournal Colbey are not the same people. I wish I had all the time in the world to listen to your worries and aspirations and contradictions. I know that it's amazing to talk to you, and I really miss doing so. I hope that one day someone does make you feel really fucking special, because I know that once upon a time you used to make me feel like that.
Self-loathing is something that I am entirely familiar with. Sometimes it just seems like you hate yourself so much that all you can do it sit at home on a school night making livejournal layouts until two in the morning, because you want to be cool and have some scene kid copy yours. Wait, that's my sad life. But really. I sit at home at night on the weekends, too. I have no one to call. People say, "Yeah, we have to hang out." They never even get my number. Sometimes I'm so passive just because I want someone to talk to. I never used to be shy. But here I don't talk to anyone, and I feel like the only people I really don't mind seeing are my teachers.
I know you want to move away and start your life. So did I. And I know it seems like there is nothing that you would miss, but I swear that three people versus no one is so much better, and you appreciate them so much more. Even if they never call you and move on, you still miss them. I want to come home so badly. Some things are just really taken for granted. But no one ever sees it before it's too late, even when people warn them.
Wow, I am so self-centered. I just turned everything you said into shit about me. Maybe I was trying to relate? I don't know what the hell was the point of all of that. I'm still a bitch, and you're still going to be angry. But maybe, one day everything will be okay, even if it's just for a minute.
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