Depression....
I kind of feel like this picture looks...very depressed!
I haven't realized how many friends I have lost...
I am not the type of person that hangs out in a crowd with a lot
of different friends...I only have a close few friends, if that makes sense...Shawn was my very best friend...she is gone because I told her that her depression/anxiety pills weren't good for her...she was the coolest person in the world.. :-( Eddies and Pamela are gone because they felt that I betrayed "Veytec" because I left there to get a job that pays more...but we were good friends...I liked them because they were so funny...and Debbie is gone(the only one who truly has a right to not want to talk to me anymore)...she is gone because I left asn because I had 2 kids in daycare, but I left her with a lot of work that no one knew how to do...she was a good friend because she was as crazy/insane (she always called us neuratic) as me...we both were crazy, but completely understood each other....she knew why I am the way I am and I knew why she was the way she was...I think she is the only person who ever got me...if that makes sense...now I am alone and I hate it sometimes...other times, it doesn't bother me...all I can think is that something is wrong with me to lose so many friends...but really, I think that I am hormonal today...lol i took the boys to the fort lauderdale science center (in there art district) and it was almost exactly like the one in orlando except they have sharks, horseshoe crabs...sting rays...etc..oh, and the childrens area is much better though...we had a great time...I talked to a lady who was friendly, but not my personality...she tried to get our boys to play together, but Austin is so mellow, he can't stand hyper kids sometimes and Alex kept on fighting with their 2 yr old...Alex just turned one...he is a tough lil' sh*t! The 2 yr old kept taking his toy, so alexander would yell and then grab it back...they did that for almost 15 minutes! lol...so I don't think their kids and mine were compatible either...I need to get involved in some groups...that is how I made a bunch of "playmate" friends in orlando...the moms were cool to talk to at functions, but they were all mostly rich, snotty types...but very nice...they just talked about clothes and hair etc...too much for me...I am not that type of girl...I am more interested in the "unknown" lol...that is why Shawn and I got along so well...we would go to wiccan stores, book stores...to read about ghosts, angels...etc... i miss her...it's crazy...I miss those friends more then my family...crazy...oh well,....life goes on and on...and new things pop up...