[hearts_andminds: Because she looks like me.]
Fred had been incredibly tempted to march herself right to Wesley's room and ask him why he thought keeping vital information from her was a good idea. It wasn't that she didn't understand the impulse to keep the truly alarming knowledge away from her at first -- heaven knew if their positions had been reversed she'd have flailed for an appropriate
( Read more... )
Still, she was unsurprised. She eyed Winifred mildly, having satisfied her curiosity regarding the creature once already.
"It was I who sought you out the last time."
She wouldn't have repeated it.
Reply
It was still hard to breathe for a few seconds. There was this blue monstrosity speaking in a voice that wasn't anything like hers, but was still oddly close for comfort. The reality was staring her in the face and she hadn't thought this through enough to cope in any reasonable manner.
"There was a last time?" She managed to blurt out the question that came most logically, because it was a starting point.
Reply
Not that she owed Winifred any explanation. Or particularly wished to give it. This place was beginning to feel overly stifling, a nightmare designed to prod at every last uncomfortable emotion that she wished to be rid of until she could tolerate it no longer.
Perhaps if she gave Fred whatever answers she sought, she would go and return no more.
Reply
The words were out before Fred could think better of them; it wasn't her goal to get smashed flat, but she hadn't actually ruled it out as a potential outcome, either. It was possible she ought to have brought along a Slayer or two as backup, but... she'd wanted to find things out for herself, and there wasn't any turning back now.
Reply
Her response was overly short, as was her temper. For a moment she was tempted to close the door in Winifred's face and refuse to entertain her questions any further. But allowing something so insignificant to affect her so obviously - it was a betrayal of emotion she wouldn't own.
"Nor would it serve me to do so; if our timelines are convergent, you have to survive if I am to continue in this form."
Reply
It made sense. Fred had wondered, but she couldn't count on the future being set in stone; if she thought like that, she was just going to have to roll over and die, and that wasn't in her nature. Like hell she had survived five years in Pylea just to lie down and die, and leave some demon running around in her place.
So Illyria couldn't kill her. That gave her a distinct advantage, Fred thought.
"Why my form? I mean... was there a reason, or was I just in your way?"
Reply
Illyria didn't bother to hide her disgust with both the follower and the form in question.
Reply
Demon worship: alive and well in Los Angeles. Fred wondered, rather absurdly, if Illyria was a Wolfram and Hart client. She should've known this job would get her killed. It had been naive to think anything else.
"So, what, all this trouble and I'm not a good enough vessel? Why not find another?"
Reply
Traces of regret crept into her words. Knox had been unworthy of her grace, but he had worshiped her. If anyone else on the Earth did, she had no way of finding them from here, and felt the lack of them every second that she remained in this place.
"Do not begin that argument anew; I have had more than my fill of it already. If I could leave this form and return it to you, I would. This was a failed experiment that I would gladly abandon if there were anything worthwhile to come of doing so."
Reply
She wondered how long he'd planned. How long -- was he always plotting her death, or was it only after she'd decided she didn't want to date him? It was a question Fred couldn't cope with yet and stay sane, so she shoved it aside and focused on the rest of it.
"Excuse you, but it's the first argument for me, okay? I've been here less than a week and I had to find out about my death secondhand, from someone who wasn't even there. You were there, so I'm asking you. Why can't you give my body back?"
Reply
Her words were so direct as to be nearly deliberately cruel; there was no way to make them any less than what they are, and there was no sense in hedging delicately around the truth as humans were so fond of doing. Winifred hadn't come here for pretty lies. Illyria could almost respect her a little for having the courage to come here to confront her.
Reply
For a moment Fred thought she was just going to wither and die on the spot, like the words themselves were trying to suck out her soul here and now.
Oh, we're believing demons now, are we? The tiny voice of protest was enough to jolt some sense back into her, and she forced herself to stand up a little straighter even though she was trying not to tremble inside.
"That's not true. It's the first law of thermodynamics: energy can neither be created nor destroyed, and a soul is just mystical energy."
That was right; one couldn't argue with the laws of physics.
Reply
"A fire burns and then is gone; you could never hope to restore that same, identical fire from its ashes. Perhaps you could hope to force me from this vessel; perhaps you could even restore it to life in a manner that would satisfy others as to its humanity. The memories that remain could inform whatever animating force you imbued it with, even if it were not the original. Would it then be you?"
It was a hypothetical challenge; though there was a true spark of curiosity behind it.
Reply
But she wouldn't want someone else's soul. That was--
"Wait. You said memories." Her brain had managed to catch the important bit even as she was trying to puzzle out the question of the soul.
"What memories? My memories?"
Suddenly this was all that mattered; whether or not a soul could be perhaps artificially recreated was a question for another day.
Reply
Illyria was of two minds as to whether or not she wanted them at all. Thus far they seemed to cause only distress, but she wasn't going to find a closer specimen of humanity to observe than the one whose life remained an open book to her.
Reply
Fred was almost certainly out of her mind for even daring to speak to the thing that had killed her this way, but it was all just a little too much for her to take, standing here being none-too-subtly insulted every other sentence.
And honestly, if she was going to die either way, she'd rather do it as herself. Maybe she'd push a little too far and get struck down on the spot, but then maybe she'd take down Illyria with her, if what she'd said about converging timelines were true.
"Can you maybe stop reminding me of how insignificant I am to you? You don't have to repeat yourself on that point; I got it when you said I was -- an inappropriate vessel."
Fred didn't intentionally try to mock Illyria's tone, but her last few words came out that way, and she wondered in hindsight if maybe she had been curious if her voice could really do that.
Reply
Leave a comment