Careful Steps
This week went fast. It also went reasonably well, which kind of scares me. Things just don't seem right when I think, "Hey, today was a good day." If I think that I've had consecutive good days, then I really start to worry. I don't know why, but I'm afraid that having good days will result in a plane crashing directly on top of me, or a papercut getting infected and killing me, or even worse yet, spontaneous combustion.
As I mentioned before I'm a music performance major. I'm pretty close to completing my degree. Only two classes out of the ordinary music classes I have to take every semester remain for me to finish. One of those classes, Instrumental Musicianship, I am taking right now. I didn't really know what this class entailed until I started. Just so you know, this class basically teaches you how to conduct music.
At first I thought this would be pretty cool. A few seconds after that I realized it meant I had to stand in front of a band, waves my arms around, and spout off useful knowledge. That frightened/frightens me. I'm not good with crowds. I'm also usually in the very back of the band. Without an instrument to hide behind, standing in front of these bands of forty five people, makes me just want to get defensive and start hurting people and yelling.
The class has gone reasonably well, though. I've had the opportunity to conduct the Wind Ensemble four times and a Choir once. The big project we (there's only two of us in the class) have for the semester is preparing a score and taking it all the way through rehearsal to performance quality. You may think conducters are just up there waving their hands around, I did too, but I can't believe the amount of technique and elements of a band you can control.
Anyway, my classmate and I have spent most of the week doing score study. We're conducting Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus. Hopefully I'll have a few more chances to conduct warmups before we conduct the Mozart piece, because I'm starting to get more comfortable up there.
Aside from that, classes, rehearsals, everything just seemed good this week. This leads me to believe something bad must becoming. And there is something bad coming:
I'm having my fourth doctor appointment in 3 weeks tomorrow morning. I get to have some sort of X-ray scan tomorrow morning, so tonight I have to take a bunch of asthma and allergy medicine so the dye they inject in my veins doesn't kill me, or something. And then next Friday, I get to have surgery.
To summarize, about a year and a half ago, I found a lump in my neck and immediately thought, "I have cancer, and I am going to die." That's usually my first assumption. As time went on, I found a few more lumps and didn't do anything about it, because I hate going to the doctor. I don't know why I decided to now, perhaps it was the death of my grandfather in September, but I made an appointment. Chances of it being cancer (lymphoma, specifically) seem to be relatively low. I mean, come on, if after a year and a half nothing has happened to me, I should be okay. Either way they want to pop these things out and take a look at them. The surgeon seemed to not care about the ones on the left side of my neck. They just seem to indicate "over-active lymph nodes" which I have apparently always had.
So anyway, if I don't die tomorrow or next Friday, I'll be back posting more ridiculously long entries. Wish me luck.
As I mentioned before I'm a music performance major. I'm pretty close to completing my degree. Only two classes out of the ordinary music classes I have to take every semester remain for me to finish. One of those classes, Instrumental Musicianship, I am taking right now. I didn't really know what this class entailed until I started. Just so you know, this class basically teaches you how to conduct music.
At first I thought this would be pretty cool. A few seconds after that I realized it meant I had to stand in front of a band, waves my arms around, and spout off useful knowledge. That frightened/frightens me. I'm not good with crowds. I'm also usually in the very back of the band. Without an instrument to hide behind, standing in front of these bands of forty five people, makes me just want to get defensive and start hurting people and yelling.
The class has gone reasonably well, though. I've had the opportunity to conduct the Wind Ensemble four times and a Choir once. The big project we (there's only two of us in the class) have for the semester is preparing a score and taking it all the way through rehearsal to performance quality. You may think conducters are just up there waving their hands around, I did too, but I can't believe the amount of technique and elements of a band you can control.
Anyway, my classmate and I have spent most of the week doing score study. We're conducting Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus. Hopefully I'll have a few more chances to conduct warmups before we conduct the Mozart piece, because I'm starting to get more comfortable up there.
Aside from that, classes, rehearsals, everything just seemed good this week. This leads me to believe something bad must becoming. And there is something bad coming:
I'm having my fourth doctor appointment in 3 weeks tomorrow morning. I get to have some sort of X-ray scan tomorrow morning, so tonight I have to take a bunch of asthma and allergy medicine so the dye they inject in my veins doesn't kill me, or something. And then next Friday, I get to have surgery.
To summarize, about a year and a half ago, I found a lump in my neck and immediately thought, "I have cancer, and I am going to die." That's usually my first assumption. As time went on, I found a few more lumps and didn't do anything about it, because I hate going to the doctor. I don't know why I decided to now, perhaps it was the death of my grandfather in September, but I made an appointment. Chances of it being cancer (lymphoma, specifically) seem to be relatively low. I mean, come on, if after a year and a half nothing has happened to me, I should be okay. Either way they want to pop these things out and take a look at them. The surgeon seemed to not care about the ones on the left side of my neck. They just seem to indicate "over-active lymph nodes" which I have apparently always had.
So anyway, if I don't die tomorrow or next Friday, I'll be back posting more ridiculously long entries. Wish me luck.