Mat's Box-o hating-people-who-feel-sorry-for-themselves!
Aiight, I'm a tit bit fed up with all of the myspace/away message statements of "Wawaaaaa, my life sucks. I like someone and she/he doesn't like me back! I'll never have a girl/boyfriend! I'm gunna go write sad, poorly constructed poetry."
Look people, not only are you being completly unoriginal and whiney, I hope you realize how incredibly unrealistic you are. To illustrate this, i have composed the *Ideal Responce* to one of these emotional outbursts. We'll name him Billy
Dear Billy,
I read your away message, which led me to your myspace, and boy am I sorry. I never realized how much you cared about me! Furthermore, I discovered what a complete bitch I have been to you and how i have turned the world against you. You're right, It would be sooooo easy for anyone but you to get me! I prayed to God (the one who hates you and is schemeing against you to ruin your life) and begged for forgiveness. After reading your line, 'I give love, but in return i get only friendship.' I have determined that the best way to make up to you is to rub myself in coolwhip, run into your 8th period class and have you nibble away at me. Then, I will give you falicio until the cows come home and be your girlfriend for ever and ever and ever! Thank you for writing your poetry, it has been an eye-opening and life-changing experience for me.
xoxoxo,
Womanly Object
-Tootles
Look people, not only are you being completly unoriginal and whiney, I hope you realize how incredibly unrealistic you are. To illustrate this, i have composed the *Ideal Responce* to one of these emotional outbursts. We'll name him Billy
Dear Billy,
I read your away message, which led me to your myspace, and boy am I sorry. I never realized how much you cared about me! Furthermore, I discovered what a complete bitch I have been to you and how i have turned the world against you. You're right, It would be sooooo easy for anyone but you to get me! I prayed to God (the one who hates you and is schemeing against you to ruin your life) and begged for forgiveness. After reading your line, 'I give love, but in return i get only friendship.' I have determined that the best way to make up to you is to rub myself in coolwhip, run into your 8th period class and have you nibble away at me. Then, I will give you falicio until the cows come home and be your girlfriend for ever and ever and ever! Thank you for writing your poetry, it has been an eye-opening and life-changing experience for me.
xoxoxo,
Womanly Object
-Tootles