Sewing, uni, life, family...ie. Post of Random Stuffness
Sooooo, not posted for a while. Most of that is down to recent activity. Around 6 weeks ago I moved into a house-share with writerdahling and Biscuit, her cat. It's worked out really well, though Biscuit does try to manipulate us (the other week he got his Mummy up and downstairs from an afternoon nap on the pretence that he hadn't been given his tea - he had, I gave it to him, but he's a cat so he *will* try it on!) I've been making a fleece lining for one of her larp cloaks and I've just in the last hour finished the essentials. I decided to be clever and sew prestuds onto it so it can be attached and detached depending on temperatures. Of course, that takes quite a bit of time and focus! I'm going to finish attaching the non-essential ones when Dori gets home after this weekend's larp.
I'm waiting for another Work Capability Assessment summons in which the assessor will lie left, right and centre about what I say and what happens and my limitations so I will be found to not have a limited capability for work. Should I get the assessor I had last year, I *will* refuse to be seen by him. I'm gearing myself up for another turn on the merry-go-round and not looking forward to it.
The Welfare Reform Bill got forced through Parliament earlier this month. The Personal Independence Payment thing that's going to replace DLA (Disability Living Allowance) is a slightly-tweaked ESA list of criteria. I'm going to lose all my Care and probably the higher rate for mobility, which will mean I'll lose my Disabled Adult railcard (but by that time I'll be an MA student in Creative Writing so I should be able to get a railcard with the same 1/3-off discount coz if you're a student and over 25, you just need a stamp from your university to confirm that you're on the course and you can get the railcard. So that's not too bad in that respect. What I *am* worried about, however, is that I'll lose my Motability car with the adaptations. Without that I'm going to be housebound. I won't be able to get a disabled bus pass because round here at any rate you can only get it if you can't/aren't allowed to drive, which isn't applicable to me. My parents have said that if it comes to that we'll try to buy the car from Motability. I really hope we'd be able to do that because if we can't, I am screwed. I live halfway up my road, which is on a hill, so getting up that hill in my chair is going to be rather difficult, especially if I'm having a bad day. The short of it is, the WRB has got a lot of us disabled very very worried.
I'm no longer allowed to compete in wheelchair badminton. They've recently redone all the classifications, to bring it more in line with other, Paralympic, disability sports. In other words, much tighter criteria. They specifically rule out fibromyalgia, chronic pain, ME/CFS and hypermobility. I'm pretty devastated about that because in the last 18 months it's become a huge part of my life. It's done me the world of good - the physical exercise, the opportunity to achieve once again, being able to do sport again without my disabilities being a barrier to it... I can't play a lot of disability sports because of the criteria, and things like basketball aren't ones I can cope with because I don't think I could take the constant collisions, not with my pain issues. I'd found the perfect sport for me - my disability means I physically can't do able-bodied sport - but now I've had that taken away from me for the same reason, my disabilities. If I can't do able-bodied sport, surely I should be able to do disability sport? Apparently not. Well, I can still play at my club, I "just" can't compete. According to the current rankings, I'm the UK women's wheelchair number 2. That won't last much longer. Ditto for me and Rowan being the mixed doubles wheelchair UK number 2. This has hit me extremely hard. I'll probably still go to club, but what have I got to work for now? I've got nothing to aim for, no targets, because competing is over for me. I'll never be a Paralympian. I'll never be able to compete again. I HATE FIBROMYALGIA AND M.E. First they take loads of things from my life, things I enjoyed, then I learn to live with them and gain stuff back, and now they've taken *that* away from me in terms of badminton (obviously I can still go to ceilidhs and so on). In some ways these are some of the worst disabilities to have - they're in the grey area between definitely Able-bodied and Definitely Disabled. I'd rather be one or the other. I'm constantly having to prove them, fight back against those who say I'm lying/it's psychosomatic/I'm not disabled/etc. Sometimes life might actually be easier if I was paralysed or had something like spina bifida. Those are provable. Those aren't dubious. Those are believed. They mean you can compete in sport. I've worked so hard to get to this point, to work *with* my disability, to get my life back on track (albeit a different track) and now I've had something really important snatched away from me.
At some point soon I will take photos of the house. First I need to tidy my bedroom...!
Granny W, my mum's mum, has just gone into a residential home. She's 96 and my mum will be 65 in just over a week (must remember I still need to write and send her birthday card...) so it's hard on her as well. It sounds like a really nice place and they've got all sorts going on, so I'm confident about it.
Creative Writing MA in September at Exeter, here I come!!! Really looking forward to that now, especially after the badminton stuff. I was probably going to write more but I'm tired (my left leg hasn't stopped jiggling for the last hour and a half, a clear sign I'm tired).
I'm waiting for another Work Capability Assessment summons in which the assessor will lie left, right and centre about what I say and what happens and my limitations so I will be found to not have a limited capability for work. Should I get the assessor I had last year, I *will* refuse to be seen by him. I'm gearing myself up for another turn on the merry-go-round and not looking forward to it.
The Welfare Reform Bill got forced through Parliament earlier this month. The Personal Independence Payment thing that's going to replace DLA (Disability Living Allowance) is a slightly-tweaked ESA list of criteria. I'm going to lose all my Care and probably the higher rate for mobility, which will mean I'll lose my Disabled Adult railcard (but by that time I'll be an MA student in Creative Writing so I should be able to get a railcard with the same 1/3-off discount coz if you're a student and over 25, you just need a stamp from your university to confirm that you're on the course and you can get the railcard. So that's not too bad in that respect. What I *am* worried about, however, is that I'll lose my Motability car with the adaptations. Without that I'm going to be housebound. I won't be able to get a disabled bus pass because round here at any rate you can only get it if you can't/aren't allowed to drive, which isn't applicable to me. My parents have said that if it comes to that we'll try to buy the car from Motability. I really hope we'd be able to do that because if we can't, I am screwed. I live halfway up my road, which is on a hill, so getting up that hill in my chair is going to be rather difficult, especially if I'm having a bad day. The short of it is, the WRB has got a lot of us disabled very very worried.
I'm no longer allowed to compete in wheelchair badminton. They've recently redone all the classifications, to bring it more in line with other, Paralympic, disability sports. In other words, much tighter criteria. They specifically rule out fibromyalgia, chronic pain, ME/CFS and hypermobility. I'm pretty devastated about that because in the last 18 months it's become a huge part of my life. It's done me the world of good - the physical exercise, the opportunity to achieve once again, being able to do sport again without my disabilities being a barrier to it... I can't play a lot of disability sports because of the criteria, and things like basketball aren't ones I can cope with because I don't think I could take the constant collisions, not with my pain issues. I'd found the perfect sport for me - my disability means I physically can't do able-bodied sport - but now I've had that taken away from me for the same reason, my disabilities. If I can't do able-bodied sport, surely I should be able to do disability sport? Apparently not. Well, I can still play at my club, I "just" can't compete. According to the current rankings, I'm the UK women's wheelchair number 2. That won't last much longer. Ditto for me and Rowan being the mixed doubles wheelchair UK number 2. This has hit me extremely hard. I'll probably still go to club, but what have I got to work for now? I've got nothing to aim for, no targets, because competing is over for me. I'll never be a Paralympian. I'll never be able to compete again. I HATE FIBROMYALGIA AND M.E. First they take loads of things from my life, things I enjoyed, then I learn to live with them and gain stuff back, and now they've taken *that* away from me in terms of badminton (obviously I can still go to ceilidhs and so on). In some ways these are some of the worst disabilities to have - they're in the grey area between definitely Able-bodied and Definitely Disabled. I'd rather be one or the other. I'm constantly having to prove them, fight back against those who say I'm lying/it's psychosomatic/I'm not disabled/etc. Sometimes life might actually be easier if I was paralysed or had something like spina bifida. Those are provable. Those aren't dubious. Those are believed. They mean you can compete in sport. I've worked so hard to get to this point, to work *with* my disability, to get my life back on track (albeit a different track) and now I've had something really important snatched away from me.
At some point soon I will take photos of the house. First I need to tidy my bedroom...!
Granny W, my mum's mum, has just gone into a residential home. She's 96 and my mum will be 65 in just over a week (must remember I still need to write and send her birthday card...) so it's hard on her as well. It sounds like a really nice place and they've got all sorts going on, so I'm confident about it.
Creative Writing MA in September at Exeter, here I come!!! Really looking forward to that now, especially after the badminton stuff. I was probably going to write more but I'm tired (my left leg hasn't stopped jiggling for the last hour and a half, a clear sign I'm tired).