(no subject)
[Private Entry]
Last night. The party. God . . . I can't even write or think about it without crying. I don't understand everything that's happening. Hell, I don't understand /anything/ that's happening! I feel so distanced from everyone and I know that I only have myself to blame for that.
It was supposed to be a good night. I would get to see David and I would get to see everyone else who I've missed so much. It started out well, it did. But then the fire . . . And I'm on my way back to Italy. Back to being without David. Back to maybe a phone call every three days when neither of us are too busy or too tired to talk to the other.
I hate this. All of it. I don't even think I should go home for Christmas. I'll just stay in Italy and work. What's the point? Nothing's going right anyway.
Last night. The party. God . . . I can't even write or think about it without crying. I don't understand everything that's happening. Hell, I don't understand /anything/ that's happening! I feel so distanced from everyone and I know that I only have myself to blame for that.
It was supposed to be a good night. I would get to see David and I would get to see everyone else who I've missed so much. It started out well, it did. But then the fire . . . And I'm on my way back to Italy. Back to being without David. Back to maybe a phone call every three days when neither of us are too busy or too tired to talk to the other.
I hate this. All of it. I don't even think I should go home for Christmas. I'll just stay in Italy and work. What's the point? Nothing's going right anyway.