On the one hand I think you should probably have challenged H about it first since she was obviously (from what I hear - I haven't read the post because DJ is for goths and losers) not wanting Joan to see it.
You probably should have treated it like a private journal entry you'd accidentally seen and said, "Do you really want to leave that lying around?"
On the other hand I think I've said fairly consistently that if you don't want someone to see something, you make a private post. It was one of the first lessons I learned on LJ. If someone doesn't make a private post you have to ask why they've included the people they have - they clearly want someone to see it.
This is exactly what DJ is for: the pretend-private venting of should-be-private rants and blarting. That's why it's strictly, strictly, for a certain type of masochist exhibitionist.
In normal circumstances I would have challenged it, but I was gobsmacked when I read it.
Somethings should be kept private I think!
I'm sorry for all the hassle it has caused. I truly care about how things are for both of you.
I'm glad you have commented. I am not good at keeping quiet or holding onto secrets that are incredibly bad and relevant. I'm too open. It felt like a lot to ask with what was there.
Mmm. Having now heard about the post and having now seen some of yours about your bf (not from H I hasten to add - she and I aren't even speaking today, let alone her showing me her, or your dj), I'm fairly convinced that what you did was inconsistent.
The sort of things you've said on dj about your bf, his mum, his money situation and so on - surely when people read those you expect them (quite rightly) to think, "Dawn doesn't really feel like that, she's just angry right now so she's venting on dj. That's fair enough."
You wouldn't expect them to go running to your bf with the posts, would you? Of course you wouldn't. That makes your actions inconsistent.
Of course I argue that this isn't just you - it's symptomatic of dj use in general.
My dj is not for everyone in the world to see. My boyf reads my lj as it is my homepage - therefore I need a space to write it all out and externalise it a bit more privately
( ... )
It is my darkest outlet. But at the end of the day we talk to each other about the issues and problems I have on my dj. I don't just write them down and not tell him, but it is my immediate blast site.
Precisely.
So how would you feel if, between you djing and calming down, before you were ready to tackle things, someone sent those raw, unabridged posts and sent them to him? You'd feel pretty angry, because it wasn't actually what you meant, or were meaning to say, and because it wouldn't help the situation in the short term.
You probably should have treated it like a private journal entry you'd accidentally seen and said, "Do you really want to leave that lying around?"
On the other hand I think I've said fairly consistently that if you don't want someone to see something, you make a private post. It was one of the first lessons I learned on LJ. If someone doesn't make a private post you have to ask why they've included the people they have - they clearly want someone to see it.
This is exactly what DJ is for: the pretend-private venting of should-be-private rants and blarting. That's why it's strictly, strictly, for a certain type of masochist exhibitionist.
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Somethings should be kept private I think!
I'm sorry for all the hassle it has caused. I truly care about how things are for both of you.
I'm glad you have commented. I am not good at keeping quiet or holding onto secrets that are incredibly bad and relevant. I'm too open. It felt like a lot to ask with what was there.
Reply
The sort of things you've said on dj about your bf, his mum, his money situation and so on - surely when people read those you expect them (quite rightly) to think, "Dawn doesn't really feel like that, she's just angry right now so she's venting on dj. That's fair enough."
You wouldn't expect them to go running to your bf with the posts, would you? Of course you wouldn't. That makes your actions inconsistent.
Of course I argue that this isn't just you - it's symptomatic of dj use in general.
Reply
Reply
Precisely.
So how would you feel if, between you djing and calming down, before you were ready to tackle things, someone sent those raw, unabridged posts and sent them to him? You'd feel pretty angry, because it wasn't actually what you meant, or were meaning to say, and because it wouldn't help the situation in the short term.
As I say, that's just DJ use for you.
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