My dj is not for everyone in the world to see. My boyf reads my lj as it is my homepage - therefore I need a space to write it all out and externalise it a bit more privately.
It is my darkest outlet. But at the end of the day we talk to each other about the issues and problems I have on my dj. I don't just write them down and not tell him, but it is my immediate blast site.
Then I can see what I have written and start to figure out more calmly what I am going to say. I don't post there all the time and I generally do NOT put my personal deepest thoughts on any journal as I figured out a while ago that if I feel that strongly I should be talking to the person directly and the world does not need to know or witness my extremely personal problems/thoughts.
It is how I work as a person. I *do* tell Fed everything I write there (or here), just in a more calmer less explosive way and we work things out.
I do not post stuff that he has no idea of for others to read.
I can see where you may think I am being inconsistent. I understand that totally. I hate inconsistency and hypocrisy also.
I only have my closest mates on DJ and they all know how I function. The only other person I added was Helen. Look where that ended!!
It is my darkest outlet. But at the end of the day we talk to each other about the issues and problems I have on my dj. I don't just write them down and not tell him, but it is my immediate blast site.
Precisely.
So how would you feel if, between you djing and calming down, before you were ready to tackle things, someone sent those raw, unabridged posts and sent them to him? You'd feel pretty angry, because it wasn't actually what you meant, or were meaning to say, and because it wouldn't help the situation in the short term.
No I wouldn't be angry or upset (I know that is easy to say), but its true.
I have nothing to hide from him. We both pretty much say what we think and feel at the time and/or discuss it later when we calm down. He knows where he stands all the time. I find it hard to not say something to anyone!
I don't excuse what I have done, but she was way out of line. Maybe she was just hitting out, whatever, but that is the truth.
They did NOT break up because of what I did, other people told Joan about it too. The difference is I owned up to it.
I didn't just send it straightaway - I left it a bit and then told Joan. I didn't think it was fair.
Whats done is done. I'm sure Helen can tell me what she thinks about it all.
Do you think its good that Joan is hurting right now? (about her personal past problems she has) Are you happy because of that?? Would you rather work with dying people than deal with the "situation"??
Taking pleasure in someone elses pain is not the best way to show that you love someone really, and is not something you post for friends of both parties to see.
It is my darkest outlet. But at the end of the day we talk to each other about the issues and problems I have on my dj. I don't just write them down and not tell him, but it is my immediate blast site.
Then I can see what I have written and start to figure out more calmly what I am going to say. I don't post there all the time and I generally do NOT put my personal deepest thoughts on any journal as I figured out a while ago that if I feel that strongly I should be talking to the person directly and the world does not need to know or witness my extremely personal problems/thoughts.
It is how I work as a person. I *do* tell Fed everything I write there (or here), just in a more calmer less explosive way and we work things out.
I do not post stuff that he has no idea of for others to read.
I can see where you may think I am being inconsistent. I understand that totally. I hate inconsistency and hypocrisy also.
I only have my closest mates on DJ and they all know how I function. The only other person I added was Helen. Look where that ended!!
Reply
Precisely.
So how would you feel if, between you djing and calming down, before you were ready to tackle things, someone sent those raw, unabridged posts and sent them to him? You'd feel pretty angry, because it wasn't actually what you meant, or were meaning to say, and because it wouldn't help the situation in the short term.
As I say, that's just DJ use for you.
Reply
I have nothing to hide from him. We both pretty much say what we think and feel at the time and/or discuss it later when we calm down. He knows where he stands all the time. I find it hard to not say something to anyone!
I don't excuse what I have done, but she was way out of line. Maybe she was just hitting out, whatever, but that is the truth.
They did NOT break up because of what I did, other people told Joan about it too. The difference is I owned up to it.
I didn't just send it straightaway - I left it a bit and then told Joan. I didn't think it was fair.
Whats done is done. I'm sure Helen can tell me what she thinks about it all.
Do you think its good that Joan is hurting right now? (about her personal past problems she has) Are you happy because of that?? Would you rather work with dying people than deal with the "situation"??
Taking pleasure in someone elses pain is not the best way to show that you love someone really, and is not something you post for friends of both parties to see.
Reply
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